| Funny Quotes |
| *Sometimes I dream about being carried off by a big giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut? *Why do all free thinkers think alike? *Follow your heart, but take your brain with you *Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else! *You! Off my planet! *Who figured out how to milk a cow and what the hell did he think he was doing at the time?! *I prefer to describe myself as that of a "contemporary anthropological interactive observer" because stalker sounds oh so bad. *The next time someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to dribble a football. *Not all men are annoying. Some are dead *Guys are like mascara... they usually run at the first sign of emotion. *I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me! *Sex on TV is bad... you might fall off! *God put me on earth to do a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die. *Life doesn't throw me curve balls. It just hits me with the bat! *If I ever gave a shit, you'd be the first person I'd give it to! *Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. Thursday, which is Good Friday, we're having a father's day part for mothers only. Admission is free, pay at the door, pull out a chair and sit on the floor. Late one night in the middle of the day, two dead soldiers got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, pulled out their swords and shot one another. A deaf policemen heard the noicse, got up and shot the twice-dead boys. If you don't believe me, ask the blind man who saw it all through a knothole in a wooden brick wall. |