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| 3-3-02 It's freezing cold outside, but right now all I'm thinking about is summer. Those glorious last days of school when the air is perfect, the skies clear, and your heart renewed with the prospect of the freedom summer has to offer. I don't know why I'm thinking of this already when it's only March. It's silly, I still have 3 months of school left, but all I can think of is how I felt last May. My mind keeps flashing back to one day in particular. The day of the cast and crew party for Bye Bye Birdie. The party itself wasn't all that great, but after was so much fun. Just the feeling that night gave me was so great. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and it was just a beautiful night. I don't think I'll ever forget that night, or that last month of 8th grade, or even the summer that followed. So many things happened that summer, so many memories that are forever etched into my mind. Memories that I bring out whenever I need to smile. People say you remember High School more than Middle School, but I know I'll remember last summer forever. 3-3-02 I found some emails today. Ones you sent me. It's been over 4 months now and you're still gone. Gone. Out of my life so fast. Why'd you do it though? Why'd you just leave me like that? I've gotten over you, long ago, but I still wonder sometimes. Wonder if you were who you said, or if something happened you couldn't control. I thought you were real, it seemed like you were. It really felt like you "loved" me, but now I know that couldn't have been. Or could it? I guess I'll never know because you aren't here now. Even though I dream of you coming back and saying those things again and talking to me till the wee hours of the morning, I know that it'll never happen. I know that you were only meant to come into my life for a few short months, but that was enough. That was enough to make me see that miracles can happen and that even though it seems like life is trying to push you down sometimes...you can still get back up. So for that, I thank you Zach, or whoever you are/were/will be. Thanks. |
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