Disparingly Real The darkness fills me, And chills me to the bone. Nowhere is my home? As nightmares fill my sleep, And I am isolated. So alone, And in this too deep. I search for a way out. Feel my way through the darkness, But nothing in this world Relieves me of this grief. In a drunken state, I cry hysterically! The dope haze Lifts my mood no better. And your abuse Only confirms my worthlessness. If I had the courage I�d leave this world And not burden you. But I keep on existing. I�m not really living! Is anyone listening? And then, as the dope haze lifts, And the drinking becomes less. My vision is clearer And my clarity sets more in reality. I hear your gentle voice, Easing me out of despair. My mood rises, As my belief increases my value. I realize I was born For more than this. And you hung on the cross Just for me! Your lost sheep. You left the flock To find me. In happiness, You saved me � Elizabeth 8th August 1999 "A lot of people don�t recognise that depression can be an illness, like asthma or the flu, and it can make you really sick. I found myself explaining depression as a sickness to someone quite close to me, whom I assumed would already understand, and that�s when it hit me! If this person doesn�t understand depression as a sickness, how many others are just as ignorant? Sure, we all get depressed when someone dies � that�s called �grief�. What about when someone is born? People are starting to realise �post natal depression� is a serious problem. How about depression during recovery, as part of the healing process? How about depression for no apparent reason? Chemical imbalance, mood swings, or is she just seeking attention? Why does she crave in this way? There are a lot of questions with depression? How to get myself out of this dark, black hole? The empty feeling sends me reeling, back to darker days. I recall the hollowness, the apathy, the not-so-in-the-mood-to-do-anything. Getting out of bed is a chore! Showering and getting dressed before noon is nothing short of a minor miracle! This poem was written in reflection about the days of my own depression, hoping to shed some light on the illness and bring about understanding for all those who still suffer - this poem�s for you."