Author's Note: The song is "Even Angels Fall", by Jessica Riddle (I think it comes from the "10 Things I Hate About You" soundtrack). Thanks to Juliana for finding it for me. ^_^*`-,--
You found hope
You found faith
Found how fast she could take it away
Zel picked out a chord on his guitar, idly, and did his best not to look up at the night sky.
When he was a kid, he'd thought that each star was a promise... then later, he'd thought they were the watchful eyes of the dead. Now when he looked up, he didn't know what to think anymore.
He wasn't quite sure who to blame for that.
Found true love
Lost your heart
Now you don't know who you are
Lina ran a hand through her hair, humming quietly to herself, and pushed aside her tent-flap to look out at the night.
God, how beautiful. The sky was a soft, dark blue, dusted with a haphazardly lovely pattern of stars. She scooted partway out of the tent, then lay down on her back in the grass and allowed her eyes to wander aimlessly across the darkness and the pinpricks of light above her.
Funny thing about that. Usually she didn't bother to stop and notice things like that--the small stuff, the details that didn't really matter. Well, okay, she did tend to develop a sudden appreciation for them when it looked like the world was coming to an end...
But, c'mon, she was completely out of danger now.
Wasn't she?
She made it easy
Made it free
Made you hurt till you couldn't see
He put the guitar down and allowed his head to sink forward into his hands.
Lately, so much had seemed unsteady. Unsure. He'd found himself wondering just what he was going to do after he found the cure... if he found the cure... if it even existed.
Sometimes... sometimes, in very rare moments, he found himself thinking it didn't really matter. Moments when he was with that one person in the whole group who treated him like a normal human being, the one person who made him forget everything he missed.
And, naturally, he could never say a thing to her.
Sometimes it stops
Sometimes it flows
But baby, that is how love goes
She sighed heavily. Aw, no, not this again.
No use trying to get rid of the thought. Once summoned, it stayed, settling lightly across her mind like a shadow.
Lately she... well, she just didn't know how to feel. Especially when she was with the one person in the group who didn't worship or mock her... hell, lately she didn't know how to feel when she wasn't with him.
Yeah, leave it to Fate to cook up yet another weird twist in the life of Lina Inverse. An irrational more-than-crush on the one guy who wanted absolutely nothing to do with anything outside of his quest.
You will fly and you will crawl
God knows even angels fall
He shivered a little, pulling the cloak tighter about his shoulders. Damn. How could he have gone and done such a stupid thing, letting her as close as she was now?
All right, so he hadn't meant to do it... it was nice to have someone to travel with at first... and it was nice to have someone who needed his knowledge and skill... and the excuses kept piling up so that the next thing he knew, he'd gotten up one morning and his head had been buzzing with a single thought--her name, clear and resonant as running water.
I'm losing my hold on my own heart.
No such thing as you've lost it all
God knows even angels fall
Dammit. Dammit, love was not supposed to be like this. You were supposed to be on pins and needles twenty-four hours a day, jumping up and down with anticipation and crazy stuff like that. You were supposed to make up bad poetry and swoon like a schoolgirl and giggle at absolutely nothing. You were supposed to pine and fume and cry over losing your heart to somebody, not smile about it for crying out loud.
This was so quiet...
Just like him.
It's a secret
That no one tells
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell
Sure, there were horrible days. Days when he couldn't even stand to look at her for fear he'd slip up. And then there were those days when it seemed like everything ahead was smooth sailing--when it seemed like she knew, and didn't mind.
He got to his feet with a small sigh, shifting his grip on the guitar. Sure. Like that'd ever happen. She'd Dragon Slave me to hell and back if she knew how I felt...
After all, she did have this serious hangup about kissing.
And he had to admit he'd been thinking about that a lot lately.
And it's no fairy-tale
Take it from me
That's the way it's supposed to be
Lina rolled over and hauled herself into a sitting position, pulling her knees up to her chin.
Okay, so she didn't know much about love. But she'd expected that falling would be... a little more extreme. That it would all hit her at once and suddenly she'd be torn apart with desire and fear and bliss and all that stuff.
Well... okay, yeah, the desire was definitely there. The bliss, too, when she got him to laugh or when he was still standing after a battle. And the fear...
Well, she was kinda afraid.
She didn't think he'd take it so well if he knew how often she thought about kissing him.
You will fly and you will crawl
God knows even angels fall
L-sama, he knew he was blushing the moment he thought of it. Kiss her. Kiss Lina Inverse, the Bandit Killer, the enemy of all who lived--hell, he'd be blasted all the way to the other side of the astral plane. That is, presuming she let him live beyond the moment she knew what he was doing.
And yet...
It made for a nice daydream. He could never quite bring himself to imagine the situation--just the kiss itself. Her lips, warm and soft against his, the weight of her shoulders leaning into his chest... no complaints, no arguments, no smart-ass remarks; just the very essence of her. Heat. Passion.
No such thing as you've lost it all
God knows even angels fall
Lina felt her ears grow hot, and pulled a few wayward locks of hair across her face.
This was one aspect of love she had been expecting. It wasn't as if she hadn't been kissed before, but... she'd never enjoyed it. And she'd never actually thought about enjoying it... Okay, okay, she'd never daydreamed about enjoying it.
And, L-sama, did she daydream. She imagined the cool stone of his hands, his mouth, his steady slim frame supporting her as she leaned in...
It was almost embarrassing.
You laugh, you cry,
No one knows why
But oh, the thrill of it all
Zel shivered again and continued to trudge back towards his tent.
It was ridiculous. It was utterly ridiculous. He'd been through this argument with himself a thousand times. He was a freak, he was cold to his very core, he just didn't get close to people... he never could, while he looked like this...
The daydreams persisted. He sighed a little. No matter how much he tried to stifle it, there would always be that wild quiet rush of hope, the subtle signals he didn't dare to interpret.
And he would always cling to them, like well-worn charms.
You're on the ride
You might as well
She knew she shouldn't indulge. She knew she had other friends to worry about. But she just couldn't quite manage to keep her thoughts away from the chimera, from his smile, his odd little laugh.
Damn him for filling up her thoughts. Damn him for confusing her. Damn him for being so fricking lovable that she didn't want to keep him out of her mind. Damn, damn, damn...
She sighed. Better face up to it, Lina: He'll always drive you crazy. And you're always gonna enjoy the ride.
Open your eyes
He started for his tent, then paused. Lina was sitting just outside her tent, watching him with a steady bright expression.
You will fly and you will crawl
"Hey," she said.
God knows even angels fall
"Hi," he replied.
No such thing as you've lost it all
He has a gorgeous smile, she thought, feeling a flush creep up her neck.
God knows even angels fall
He felt his smile broaden, looking at her. She has such pretty eyes.
Even angels fall
Tomorrow she'd say something. Tomorrow she'd catch him alone for a couple of minutes, try to distract him from the whole search-for-the-cure business, maybe buy him a cup of tea. She could start small.
Even angels fall
Tomorrow he'd say something. Tomorrow he'd make an effort to keep up with her, walk beside her, have a conversation that wasn't about the latest spell they were chasing after. He didn't have to let everything out at once.
Even angels fall
Tomorrow...
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