| Stories Page (pictures link at the bottom) Your vision gets pretty bad after the first 20 minutes in New Orleans. Is it all the stuff in the air or just the alcohol? Well, your eyes will restore themselves intermittently over the next 3 days, but each time they do so just to remind you that you need another beer. Not only are you talking to strangers, you are kissing them. Your sides hurt and you can't breathe because you are laughing so hard over something you can't remember. Where the hell did you get these sunglasses? You have no idea where you are when you wake up but you don't care because you are warm and dry. You meet some awesome people. Women regularly dance on the bar. You walk in the hotel room and see more of someone than you ever wanted to. Please don't take glass on the street, unless it happens to be the coffee pot that you drink your water from. Your best friend is never like this. Your best friend is always like this and you're happy they have an excuse. Where the hell is Big Paul from Minnesota? Your mouth hurts and you have no idea why. Wow, they have cleaning the streets down to a science. The key to the room is in the fire extinguisher. You have walked all over New Orleans to find your friend and you are so glad to hear them walk into your hotel room alive in the morning. This gallon of beer is not enough to keep your buzz. Someone is laughing about something you did last night, and you swear it can't be true. You know you're supposed to eat Jambalaya and all that other cajun crap but at 3 in the morning all you want is grease on a bun. Do people really do that stuff in public? Oh my goodness, yes they do. You never did get beignets at Cafe du Monde, but it'll be there next year. The sun comes up and it's the 2nd sunrise you've witnessed this weekend. Please let there be a space on the bed for me when I walk in that hotel room. B$ I stroll into the hotel room at about Midnight on Thursday to begin my Mardi Escapade, and what do I find but a bloody Benny. Not bloody in the British sense (although that does apply), but bloody in the 'all-the-bathroom-towels-are-red' sense. Apparently Ben's eyebrow had met Bito's fist in some manner, I wasn't there to witness it. Well after many, many more drinks, O'Grady proved to be the Baby Bitch that he is, and passed out. COLD. We were using his hand to hit his face, rolling him over, writing on him - nothing could make him flinch. Alas, Tammy, Bito and I had to leave the King of New Orleans and battle Bourbon Street without our fearless leader. Mistress Liz: How, exactly did I get this nickname? Anyhow I ran away with Micah (very cool guy from Portlant, OR) at this Mardi Gras. But I had the nickname before that... please explain.... Sara: Wow, am I glad she decided to come to New Orleans. When I told Bito that Sara was going, his response was "Well, this trip just got twice as interesting." He really wasn't kidding. Sara is single once again, in every sense of the word, and it's almost refreshing how some things never change. And possibly a little scary! But she had a good time and I was so happy to have her down there with me. Although we probably saw each other for a total of 8 hours, truthfully. The Texas Beads: If you are looking for the story of Gary's Texas Beads, you will not find it here. It's one of those "you had to be there" things. Okay, it's more like one of those "Liz is not repeating that out loud or in print, EVER," so if you're really curious, you can email Garyand maybe he'll tell you about it. But unless Heidi Klume walks up and offers Gary sex for them, I doubt he'll be getting rid of them. Bito, Tammy, Benny and Harrah's: What was that? I believe The Instigator himself sent out an email that said "keep your wallet in your front pocket and out of the casino." Lest you lose, oh, $1200? MANDINGO; "So, like when you know you need a cab, so you get into one, and the driver takes you back to the hotel and he says 'You owe me ten dollars' so, you come up to the room and.... YEEEEEAAAAAAH. Also, 'How you doin'?' is a much better come-on than 'You know where your home is? Your home is on my cock.' " Oh, my goodness, endless entertainment in the morning. Is that J-Lo? Oh, no way dude, that's the one and only Guray Jones. With some mighty phat Texas Beads. G-Love and Tammy Sauce: Anyone got this story? I was not with Ben, Tammy, Bito and Singler for this one. Jorge's Puerto-Rican Hiney: Yes, that's right, hiney, not HONEY. Though I'd say Jorge qualifies as a Puerto Rican honey. ;) Can someone tell me the reason Jorge wants so badly to show off his little Latin behind? Submit a story - if I post it, I'll post it verbatim. Show Me Pictures Take me to Liz's Homepage |