But Why Daddy?

Chapter 1

By: Lizzie

©Lizzie 2002-2004

            JC was seated comfortably in his living room watching TV and waiting for Cynthia to say that she finished their lunch when his mind drifted to Paula. He had gone through a wide variety of emotions in the six months since Paula ended things. At first JC was sad, more like beyond sad and on the verge of being depressed. Then he decided that he needed to do something to take his mind off of her, so he busied himself with his music. Now he was angry that she left him, and on their anniversary of all nights. He wanted to find out why she really left and if it she was cheating on him.

It had been a full 2 weeks since he last thought about her. He thought about all the fun times they had going on little trips to California, and to Cancun. He thought about the first time they made love. That was the one thing that he would always remember because it was then that he realized that he really loved her.

+*+Flashback+*+

The first touch of his hand against her bare skin sent such a tremor, such a shiver inducing vibration through her, that for a single flash, for a single flickering of his love in his eyes, she feared falling away in a faint. He quieted her fears with loving eyes, letting teardrops descend from them without shame. He moved his body over hers so smoothly that it was like silk against her flesh. Gripping him to her, she breathed out heavily, awaiting the initiation of activity that would be the first introduction of his body to hers. He looked into her eyes with compassion and patience, holding her face in his hands warmly.

"We'll go slowly, babe. And we'll stop when you need to stop. Just tell me what you need and how you feel. I want you to remember this night as something beautiful."

He kissed her again, then, thoughtfully, deeply and wholeheartedly. She traced the hardness of his body with her fingertips, marveling at the new sensations in her body. Her mind reeled, as for the first time, it seemed, she was tasting him, smelling him, hearing him. It was a new beginning this night.

When she felt his length probing the inner recesses of her body, there came a sudden torrent of pleasure like none she had ever experienced. The indulgence in such pleasure was foreign to the nerve endings in her body, to the blood in her veins. It was unexpected to her when she realized how fully she wanted to give herself to him. It was distressing and disappointing when she realized how wasted her time had been with Chad. It was hurtful when she realized that as much as she had loved him, he had never made love to her. He had never loved her.

She gasped as his thrusts into her drove a stream of elation into her, rising up to meet him as his hips collided with hers. For one moment in time, she wondered whose emotion-ridden voice it was she heard crying out into the darkness.

"I love you, Josh…my God. I love you so much it's killing me." Her moan echoed into the black shadows of the room.

His sigh died away into gasps of pleasure, and he buried his face, moist with perspiration from his exertion. Her body trembled with heavenly exhilaration, quaking in the tenderness of his embrace.  She moaned through shaky tears as the height of her climax swelled inside of her, smiling into his hair when she felt the explosion of his love burst forth in her.

"Shhh…don't cry, love…never again…no more tears ever again…" His arms encircled her tightly, holding her in the quiet, their breathing so matched that it was almost as if two people were only one. He kissed her forehead again, resting his lips there for a long moment as he pondered what they had just shared.

+*+End of Flashback+*+

            Despite what anyone thought of them, that night was the first time for both of them. The first of many wonderful nights that they would spend making love to each other, expressing their love for one another in the ways that only they could.

+*+

            Someone knocking at the door brought JC out of his thoughts. He didn’t want to get up to answer it but at the same time he didn’t want them to keep knocking on the door.

            Cynthia walked from the kitchen and peeked her head in the room where JC was sitting, “Are you going to get that or were you just going to hope that they go away?”

            “I was actually hoping that they would go away,” he said not looking from the TV.

            Cynthia groaned and walked to the door, “Coming, I’m coming damn it! Don’t get your panties in a bunch!” she opened the door and didn’t know what to say.

            “Cynthia!” the woman said, “It’s been to long!” the woman gave an emotionless Cynthia a hug.

            “You’re…but why? You crushed him…” Cynthia looked at the woman again, “And you’re pregnant!” she yelled the last part.

            JC heard Cynthia and got up and walked to the door, “Paula? What are….” Cynthia stepped to the side and he was able to fully see Paula. JC didn’t say anything, he just walked back to the living room and both Paula and Cynthia followed him. The room was silent and very unnerving. Cynthia went to the kitchen to let them be alone.

            Paula sat in a chair and tried her best to be happy but she knew that what she was about to say would turn JC’s world upside down yet again. But she had to do it. There was no way she was going to be a single mother and she also knew that Josh would be able to give a better life for the baby that she was carrying.

            “Are you carrying my baby?” he asked looking directly at Paula

            “Yes, and that’s why I came back,” she began

            “I don’t believe you!” Josh shot at her. Raged flashed in his eyes, “You left on our anniversary night! I was going to propose to you!”

            “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she said, “I loved you I just wasn’t in love with you. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared to tell you anything. I was scared that you would dump me and I would have to be a single mother.” She paused and looked at him, “So many times I thought about having an abortion, but now it’s too late and I don’t want to keep this baby.”

            “And you’re telling me this because?” He said, “I mean, how am I to know that this baby is really isn’t someone else’s?”

            “I NEVER cheated on you Joshua!” Paula yelled. She had tears in her eyes, “I know that you are mad at me for leaving but I loved you for 4 years and I still love you, I would never hurt you by cheating on you! This baby is very much yours. I’m only here to let you know that if you don’t want it, I’m going to give it up for adoption.”

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