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________________________________________________________________ Thy Precious One (c) 1998 A strange blissful tear saying goodbye to you is near. It comes to me like a wondrous wind, and takes away all my fear. Oh how I need thee to fill me with thy soul, with thy voice in my heart, I need thee. Lift me up into the depths of your skies, singing to me a soft sweet lullabye. Send me to another place, send me to another time-give me reason, show me life, enchant me with thy mind. Oh come, oh come, thy precious one; give me thy power in your hands, speak to me as if you were my only one, live with me in my lands. Whistling waves across the shores; roll past me by and by; seeking thy mercy and thy spirit little one, but do not stop to wonder why! You have the gift of beauty and desire-a need that everyone wants-a love that can set aflame anyone's heart with just a single spark. Give me that gift I so much want from you; this illicit and unearthly soul. Don't let desire just sweep you away, and send you into a deep and winding hole. Oh precious one show me thy face, don't ever let me go-lie with me until the darkness turns to light, and thy heart tears away from thy soul. ________________________________________________________________ We Are�(c) summer 1999 We are the light from the darkness, the earth's sweet mother, the twilight that makes the moon shine so bright. We are the love outlawing the hatred; the good, the strong, and the right. We are careful and chosen, sweet and outspoken, fairly fresh and fairly new. We are one in a million, the bearer of children, future of the red, white, and blue. We are gifted and giving, so reassuring and living, a gentle touch in the darkest night. We are the believers and faithful, of hope left stable, of truth that is spoken and seen. We have our wishes and not let go; yet we continue to fulfill our dreams. We are united as one, our journey has begun, to prove just who we are. No matter the opposition, we will always remain, on one of the brightest stars. We are WOMEN, that's who we are! ________________________________________________________________ By The Light of the Moon (c) 1998 I used to care about what I'd wear, but not by the light of the moon. The sun would shine and I'd be fine, but only by the light of the moon. My grandma and I would chant nursery rhymes and never would count time, because we'd be alright by the light of the moon. One day my grandma left me, I cried and I cried, but only by the light of the moon. Grandma came in a vision one night; she was wrapped in a pure white gown, chanting sweet words as she touched my hand, and she told me that we'd always be together, sitting and singing, only just us by the light of the moon. _______________________________________________________________ Denial (c) summer 1999 I guess I�m living in a state of denial. I feel as though what you said I didn�t Hear, that it didn�t pierce my heart and make it shatter. My mind cannot lose your memory. Your voice saying those words telling me, What was it saying-I don�t remember, but I have to, �goodbye�. Please come Back, how can I when I know that you won�t, that you�re just gonna leave through The shadows like you were never here to begin with-just a fragment of my imagination. You�ve touched our lives with your jokes and kindness-yet we shoned you-why did you Stay if you really wanted to go? I believed in you, yet you were scared. Scared of faith, Scared of love, scared of hope, and scared of death, yet soon that death you would grow To embrace. ________________________________________________________________ Crimson Veil (c) summer 1999 A mysterious wind, the darkness in the night takes me to a place I love, where others have Dreaded in fright. So lost am I as I walk through those gates, to touch the blood soakened rings On her fingertips. A look I could but last remember, only when we first kissed. Bewildered was The look on her face so much time has gone by. Her lonliness left like a single tear, deep within The waters she roamed through in spite. A shattered blade so long and golden, filled with Crimson blood pouring as it pierced through the chambers in her frozen heart. The terrors Unleashed as she said goodbye-to the Fire, the earth, and the Air; for into the Water she Plunged to her death, the Crimson blood around her became her veil. ________________________________________________________________ The Children's Angel (c) fall 1999 I hear the children cry deep into the night-they are frightened, they are scared-their mother Is dead, their father has gone away, but nobody around them knows where. Some ragged Clothes the four of them have, one blanket full of holes to sleep on. They scavenge and search Through the dumpsters at night looking for just a morsel or a crumb. Looking back you would Think that someone would be there to help them-they believe in a little angel who helps them To find their way. Runaways, Pests, and Cheewies, people call them because they are very poor- Don�t be surprised if you see them one night just sleeping on your back door. They cannot Help it for the way that they are-they will have this reputation till the end-however, they have no fears, because an angel helped them and guided them and wasn�t afraid to be their friend. So What now will become of them, it depends on where they go-don�t be afraid or be selfish; you may have more than many others will ever ever know. _________________________________________________________________ The Base (c) summer 1999 The sun setting deep into the sky, the clouds spread out across my soul. The trees swaying and the flag waving as the wind directs it and tells it where to go. The grass so shiny and green, allows a Special sight to become seen and yet hides a deeper hidden one... Night has not fallen but I can see The misery it hides as it draws near. The leaves are fallen from the trees, barren are the branches it seems-yet this is only a dream. _________________________________________________________________ Being Depressed (c) december 1998 Being depressed takes something out of you. It's like an empty thought or feeling telling you that you're not okay. You live in the shadows of everyday life feeling more than most people do, but yet you are alone. A deepening sadness comes over you; you feel hopeless and worthless. You have nothing less to gain and nothing more to lose. You are not there; nobody acknowledges you. They can't feel your pain. Your hurt and feelings go unshown , and your desire to become someone slowly fades away. So you run away to another place and time. You constantly look behind you as though you are paranoid. When you see nobody there, you think that you are okay; but you don't realize that you are the reason why nobody is there. You never expressed how you felt to anyone, you just figured that nobody cared. But it's too late to turn back now, so you are stuck in the shadows. There is one way out, but do you dare to take it? ________________________________________________________________ Life (c) 1995 Write about life and how it destroys you and how you sit there in agony and pain while your life just slips away and leaves just like a candle that has burned until it cannot burn anymore. Life has a hard strain on anyone that has ever been born. It pulls and pulls at you with all of it's weaknesses and strengths. It yanks at you from every side, nook and cranny. It has no inner or outer peace. It pulls ahead but makes no sign of release. It needs you a lot more than you will ever know. It wants you badly but once it gets you it will never let you go. That is Life! ________________________________________________________________ Escapement (c) 1998 A place to hide, to run away, escaping from the fears you hold inside. You want so much to belong, but to what? A family, your friends, yourself? You see the snow sparkling on the ground only to dissolve back away again-you live not knowing why. ________________________________________________________________ Lonely Boy (c) 1995 once a boy was walking down a lonely highway, he looked up at the stars and then he started to pray. He was a lonely teenage boy all alone, fighting to make it on his own. he had to scrape to get by, he didn't even cry 'cause all he ever wanted was a home. nobody loved him, people didn't think much of him. nobody cared, people just stared at the lonely boy standing there, and walking everywhere, 'cause he couldn't find anyone who would take him in. one day when he was sleeping under a bridge, somebody came and took him in, and gave him a place where he could stay forever. where he could stay with a family, happily ever after, always together. well, he got what he wanted, that's what wishing brought him....a home! ________________________________________________________________ just because (c) 1996 just because you are here doesn't mean that I see you. just because you know me, doesn't mean that I know you. just because you are mine, doesn't mean that I am yours. just because I need you more and more each day, doesn't mean that I'll be yours just like I was yesterday. just because I'm scared doesn't mean that I don't care, it only means that I'm scared about the way I feel for you. ________________________________________________________________ The Voice of the Angel (c) 1999 One day you came in a vision, a sweet treasure I longed to find. You became my inspiration when you talked to me that night. I came to you for advice and you told me things would be alright. We talked for what seemed to be hours, and before we said goodnight, you promised that we would be friends until the darkness turns to light. I wanted to pull you closer to me, but you turned and disappeared, I knew that one day I would see you again, but I didn�t know if it would be weeks or years. For a while you were only a shadow, just a mere figure behind a veil. guarded by a gift of special powers, something you knew how to hide oh so well. Then one day you came to me, I saw you in the light, you told me that you have never loved someone, like the way you fell for me that night. You gave me a kiss, a warm precious hug, and then you slowly floated away, I never again visioned my angel, like the way I was talking to her that day. _______________________________________________________________ In Memory of You (october 1999) A bright face full of color, blond hair and blue eyes, That was you, Matthew, that was you. You brought with you the rays of the sun as you Smiled. The sparkle in your eyes made every soul full With wonder. You came into this world with a gift, a wonderful gift That soon would prove to be fatal. Without warning you Welcomed the rainbow, the diversity of colors was a World that you could call your own. You were a person that was full of love, full of hope, And full of life. You were always quick with a joke; You made a lot of us happier with just your presence. That was the way that you were. To lend a shoulder to cry on, a warm set of arms if I Ever needed a hug, and a bright smile to cheer me up, If I ever was feeling down and blue. We had a special bond, you and I. The memories of good Times and bad, have never refused to escape my mind. In the seven years that we were true best friends, we Were also like brother and sister. I was your family, you were mine. You were the memory That instilled in my mind, you were the hope of a Brighter tomorrow, that things would be alright, and Though a few states kept us separate, that no matter What, we would always remain best friends and family To each other. Then a fatal thing happened to you. One minute you Were here, the next minute you were gone. I cried when I first found out. At the funeral, your mom and dad Said how much you meant to them. Thousands of people Had a candlelit vigil for you, all around the US. We were brought together because of a bad thing that Had occurred, but we were also brought together by You. Your memory is the basis for us to remain strong And for us to fight for our freedom and for our Rights. You are the memory that holds in our hearts; that Tells us that it is totally alright for us to be Different, that being homosexuals is a gift and not a Sin or crime. We are who we are and there is nothing that can change That. Thank you Matthew. For showing us the way to go, Down that long road that we all must eventually take. Thank you for shining that rainbow each time that it Rains, for giving us a sign and a ray of hope. We love you Matthew. You will always remain in our Hearts, souls, spirits, and in our prayers, and Wishes. Tonight on this sixth day of October, 1999,at 8:00 p.m., we remember you and the day of your death, but most of all, we celebrate within our hearts, in the Memory of you.I love you Matthew. Dedicated in loving memory to: Matthew Shepard (December 1, 1976-October 12, 1998) 1