Entry 15
Dear Journal,
I love Fridays because on Fridays
you actually have something to look forward to, which is the whole weekend and
I hope I will be able to spend the night with Kim. The last time I saw her was the last day of
school last year. The last time I talked
to her was, I believe on Wednesday. I’ve
called her everyday since then, but she just doesn’t seem to be home. I wish she was, I
really just want to talk to her. Kim’s
Mom is so stupid I mean they have to go down to
Entry 16
Dear Journal,
Kim called and said that her Mom
said, “Yes.” I was so happy that I got
to see Kim. I mean because I miss her a
lot. Therefore, I’m glad that after all
this time I finally get to see her. When
we finally met each other at Hardee’s in
Entry 17
Dear Journal,
I am so glad I finally got away from
Kim. She has changed so much. I mean, she barely has any respect for her
Mom. She never said, “Thank you,” to her
for anything. She even yelled at her,
when all she did was ask nicely if she would put her dirty dishes in the
kitchen. Just for her Mom asking that
Kim yells, her for anything. She even yelled at her, when all she did was
ask nicely if she would put her dirty dishes in the kitchen. Just for her Mom asking that Kim yells, “ I’m trying to play sega right now, you have no right to be
in my room anyway. Plus if you want them
out you get them out.” I mean, she
screamed at her for no reason at all. I
don’t understand why she treated her Mom so meanly. It kind of made me feel sorry for her. I think that Kim needs a good couple of
spankings. That might knock her back to
her respectfulness. If I were her Mom I
wouldn’t take that crap from her. I just
don’t see how she could take that. It
seems to me like Kim needs counseling, so she can get her act together. She is just so disrespectful.
Entry 18
Dear Journal,
Today I finally realized who I like,
there are about five people; 1 goes to my church; 3 go to my school; and 1 is a
very very famous movie star that a lot of girls are totally crazy about. I mean, they think that he is totally
fine. Anyway the one that goes to my
church is Dan. The 3 that go to my
school are Mark Mallory, Allan, and Gary.
I feel kind of embarrassed to like
Entry 19
Dear Journal,
Today I am so mad I do definitely
not like Gary and Allan anymore. I only
like Mark, Dan, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas, or J.T.T. Anyway the reason I’m mad is because I found
out from Allan and Gary that the only reason
Entry 20
Dear Journal,
I am so bored, I’ve got nothing to
do, but there is one things I’ve got to look forward
to this afternoon, and that is Wednesday we have church tonight and I get to
see Dan. I just like him so much!! Well, it turns out Dan wasn’t at church
tonight. It was just me, Carla, Diane,
(they’re sisters), Andrew (one of the little kids), and his sister (which is my
favorite kid at that church), Kim. We
went outside since all the adults were in the altar because it was a conference
night and on conference night nobody usually comes back with us. They have a conference night like once a
month. So usually there’s someone back
there with us. Anyway, we were outside,
Carla sat on the stairs, while me and Diane, spun Andrew and Kim around. I got to spin Kim around, and Diane got to
spin Andrew around. I had fun even
though Dan wasn’t there.
Entry 21
Dear Journal,
Tomorrow we’re going on a field trip
in band to see the symphony, and we have to dress up. That is going to be so horrible because we
have to dress up at school. It is going
to be so embarrassing. I also found out
that Mel, my brother, is coming down this weekend and he’s coming tonight
around one or two in the morning, because he has to do a performance with his
band at a party. I think Mel plays
either the guitar or the drums. His band
is called Slick Fifty. The type of music
they play is either Heavy Metal, which I sincerely doubt or Alternative. I’m not sure because I don’t listen to that
type of music. I like
slow music and just a little bit of Alternative. I’m not as crazy about Alternative as my
friend Carol, she loves it. She also has
tons of CDs that have cuss words in them and her Mom, and Step Dad don’t even
care. I used to cuss, but I am in the
process of trying to quit I have become a lot more religious lately.
Entry 22
Dear Journal,
This morning I wasn’t allowed to go in
the living room and eat breakfast because Mel was in there on the couch
sleeping. It was so embarrassing when I
walked in the gym this morning because I was all dressed up and everything. So of course everybody laughs at me and makes
fun of me. Mainly
because I have a reputation at my school as a tomboy. I was a little disappointed when Amber said
that she had promised to sit by
Entry 23
Dear Journal,
My brother Mel is staying with us
for the weekend. Me, him, and my cousin
Sarah went to the movies today and saw “The Bird Cage”. It was a comedy and was funny when the movie
was over we decided to call Mom and Dad to see if we could stop by Blockbuster
and get a movie and they said no because they owe a lot of money. Then Sarah said, “Well, I have a Blockbuster
card, maybe we could use my name.” So
after we got the movies picked out that we wanted we got to the cashier
guy. The guy asked for some I.D. or a
Blockbuster card and Sarah asked if she could just give them her name, and she
couldn’t unless there was I.D. too. Then
Mel asked if he was able to use his card from one in
Entry 24
Dear Journal,
Last night Sarah spent the night
with us so she would have some time to spend with us. Anyway, my Mom and I went to church for only
Sunday school which was pretty cool. I’m
just glad I got to see Dan, oh, I just like him so
much. Another good thing is that me and Dan are in the same class. Anyway, when we got back from church Mel was
packing up it took him about an hour with our help. Then later on that evening Ricky came over to
pick Sarah up. Ricky is Sarah’s boyfriend,
who she lives with and he stayed and ate dinner with us, then they left. Finally we were alone at last and able to do
our own things.
Entry 25
Dear Journal,
Today I was pretty bored. Today I realized something, which was that
well, I’m starting to feel really left out; with Alicia, Hilary, and
Jennifer. I mean I always invite them to
go places with me, and they say no then I find out later on that they had
planned to do something that same day I asked them, but they planned it after I
asked them, and they never invited me. If
you think about it I only have four true friends which are: Mary, Amy, Louise,
and Kathy and if I had to order them it would be in this order Louise, Amy,
Kathy, and Mary. And if they or I even
have to move we will stay in touch in fact Louise has already moved and we are
still in touch and best friends. I love
Louise so much I don’t know what I would do without her she is my best, number
1, true friend. I hope we never ever
lose touch. I am pretty sure we won’t
and if we do I’ll try to find her. Amy I
hope never moves either I don’t know what I would do without her I mean I’ve
already lost Louise.
Entry 26
Dear Journal,
Today we had a substitute again in
Mrs. Lukken’s class. We had one on
Friday and we also had one on Tuesday I don’t know why she’s out, but I hope
nothing is wrong with her because she is my favorite teacher because she never
loses her temper she always is calm and nice.
I am also her teacher’s pet. So
that’s another reason I like her so much.
Anyway nothing interesting really happened today. Except for Mrs. Lukken
having a substitute for the third day in a row. I wish I could see Dan today, but luckily
tomorrow is Wednesday and I get to go to church which means I get to see Dan. I really don’t think Christy realizes how
lucky she is to be Dan’s little sister.
I mean he puts his arm around her during church and gives her hugs and
everything.
Entry 27
Dear Journal,
Today I got really excited because
Dan called me and asked me to give him a ride to church and I said sure he said
alright I’ll walk over there from Dewayne’s house. I was so excited I mean I would be spending a
precious twenty minutes with Dan. I was
so happy I had to call Amy and tell her especially since she knows how much I
like him. So while I was talking to Amy
Dan called and said that I just need to pick up Christy ‘cause
Dewayne had already given him a ride to church, which really sucked, but at
least I got to see him. So we picked up
Christy then when we got to the church we all went outside and played tackle
football with Carla, Diane, Andrew, Michael, Little Tony, Dan, Christy and a
couple of other people. We played girls
against boys, as usual which was fun.
Entry 28
Dear Journal,
Today I was outside taking in some
groceries my Dad had gotten, and while I was getting them I looked up and Dan
and Christy were walking up my driveway.
As soon as I saw Dan my heart started to flutter because I thought they
had come over to play, but when I saw a “Jump Rope for Heart” thing I realized
Dan was walking around with Christy. So
while Christy and my Mom were talking I grabbed Dan’s arm and told him to come
and help me with the groceries. He
didn’t answer, but followed me so I decided to show off a bit. So when we got back inside, I told my Mom I
was going outside. Then I went outside
and started playing and when Dan and Christy came outside he didn’t even look
at me, which was disappointing, but I mean I could see him any time
anyway. The rest of the afternoon I read
a little did my homework and talked on the phone. Then I just chilled until it was my bedtime.
Entry 29
Dear Journal,
Today I realized that I really don’t
have any friends who would give a flip if I died. I mean not even half of my friends are
sensitive to my feelings and it really hurts.
For the past few days I have been crying myself to sleep. I think part of it is that I invite my
friends to do stuff with me all the time, but every time they want to do
something they always ask someone else and they never ever bother to say, “Hey,
why don’t we ask Elizabeth, I mean she’s always asking us to do stuff with
her.” This is including all of my
friends except for four of them, which are Mary, because she invites me to go
to a lot of places with her. Hilary,
Louise, and Kathy those are the only friends that care about me. I know it sounds unusual for me not to
include Alicia or Amy, but they make me feel left out a lot! Especially at school I had Alicia and Hilary
to do something with me and they said they couldn’t, and they turned around and
asked Jennifer to do something with them, that same day and everything.
Entry 30
Dear Journal,
Back to what I was talking about I
really have been thinking a lot about my “so called friends” and I really think
I’m at that stage where I really don’t know who my real friends are. I’ve just been so depressed in this friend
business lately. I just don’t think I
can trust anybody anymore, and I don’t think I have any real friends because if
I did they would know that I have asked them to do a lot of stuff with me. And when they want to do something they would
at least take the effort to ask me to do stuff with them, but I guess. Of course, I guess I could be a loner, which
I could just dump all my friends and just be by myself all the time. That’s how I feel now some of the time. While all of my friends are out skating on
Fridays, or spending the night with people I’ll be home alone by myself because
nobody even asked me to do anything or invited me to go anywhere after all the
times I’ve invited them to do stuff with me.
Entry 31
Dear Journal,
Today I went to church all excited
that I was going to see Dan and when we got there he wasn’t there and neither
was Christy. Anyways Mom got to do the
nursery today which was good because I got to help her and I like helping with
nursery even though my Dad got mad at us because one of us wouldn’t sit out
there with him during the sermon I would have, but Mom had already asked to
help her with the nursery and then Dad asked me to sit out there with him and I
told him I couldn’t because if I did I would hurt Mom’s feelings because I had
already told her I would help her.
Anyway this afternoon we had a youth group meeting and we got to play
games and play tackle football. Alicia
came with me and she watched us play football, but she didn’t want to play
because she didn’t want to get dirty, but one time she did throw quarterback,
but that was it.
Entry 32
Dear Journal,
Today at lunch Hilary and I started
talking about faking sick so we decided to try to go home sick from school and
I told Hilary not to be surprised if she didn’t see me in Math because I’ll go
home in P.E. which is exactly what I did so anyway after my Mom picked me up I
started talking about how I wanted to go to the library and get some books
because I didn’t have anything to read and when I’m sick I like to read which
is very true. Then we went straight
there so when we got home I changed into my night gown, laid down in my bed and
read for awhile then I fell asleep I didn’t realize how tired I was until I
woke up which was around 6:00 and I fell asleep around 3:30 so at least I got
some rest I think I needed it to because during the part of the day that I was
at school I was really tired and I kept on yawning during the middle of class
and stuff.
Entry 33
Dear Journal,
Today I had detention it was really
stupid because we got to do extra credit I mean we could do extra credit
anytime we wanted to and we got to do it in detention or I.S.S. which is the
same thing I.S.S. which means In School Suspension so anyways it doesn’t really
matter. I was so bored I had nothing to
do after I got back from I.S.S. first I called Amy and talked to her for awhile
then I called a couple of other people and I had a nice conversation with Lora
she said that she didn’t go to school today and I said that I went home from
school yesterday. She said, “That’s
nice…..” and so on so anyway that pretty much was my day the rest of the time I
just chilled out and relaxed so that’s it.
Entry 34
Dear Journal,
Today Amy and I talked about her
going home with me. And my Mom said yes
so we talked some more about some stuff and everything so. I didn’t really have that much to write about,
except that Mom promised me I could go to the Faculty Follies on both nights
Thursday and Friday. The reason I want
to go on Thursday is because my school
Entry 35
Dear Journal,
Today me
and my Mom got in a fight because she said I could go to the Faculty Follies
and now she says I can’t because we got in a big fight in the van and she just
started screaming and yelling at me then she kept yelling shut up, and then she
hit me. Then she got my candy off the dash board and threw it on the floor and
hit me with some of it. I guess by
accident and I started crying and I cried all the way home. Then when we got home I cried even more and
finally my Mom had realized how much she had hurt me and said her sorry and I
said my sorry, for what I do not know. I
did end up getting to go to the Faculty Follies and my Mom took me so it was
okay. Then when I got home I couldn’t
call Amy because she is supposed to come with us tomorrow night to the Faculty
Follies again, and spend the night with me.
So I decided to just call her in the morning.