Entry 652
7-10-01
Well, by London time it’s 6:30 in the morning, but by good ole’ Georgia time it’s 1:30 in the morning. We started this lovely plane ride at 1:30 by London time, and 8:30 by regular time. Yet guess what we still have three more hours
to go, and unfortunately I have not been able to sleep at all. Last night I got maybe 4-5 hours of sleep so
tonight I should be exhausted. It’s
freezing on this plane too. I am just
more than ready to get off. I think I
also have a bit too many distractions to sleep.
I can say I am not nervous about flying at all anymore. After being on a plane for four hours
straight it doesn’t seem to have much of an effect on you. I feel like I’ve been on this stupid plane
for like a whole day. It still hasn’t
hit me yet, I don’t think it Thomas until I step off the plane and actually see
it. My eyes are definitely tired, but I
don’t really seem to be. I can’t help
but wonder if I possibly have a chance with any of the guys on the trip with
us. Yet Kasey still remains in the back
of my mind. I don’t know why I feel the
way I do about him, his personality just matches mine almost perfectly. Plus I can actually trust him, which is a rare
occasion when it comes to guys. He’s a
good guy and I know he won’t hurt me by meaning too. Well, I
think I may give this thing called sleep another try,
wish me luck.
Entry 653
7-13-01
I miss home so
much! I mean I’ve had tons of fun, but
there’s no one here I like know that well.
I really really want nothing more than to be in my room with Tizzy
talking to Stephanie, Amy, or Helen. My
roommate isn’t too bad, but she’s not Stephanie, Amy, or Helen. I miss Kasey as well. I want to go home like so bad! I’m trying so hard to hide my tears, but I’m
not sure if it’s working. We’ve been in London since Monday, and are leaving tomorrow
for Paris, traveling the English Channel, which is Friday. We saw Big Ben and Little Ben (clocktowers),
two cathedrals; Westminster, and St. Paul’s, quite a few parks, the Houses of
Parliament, prime minister’s house, Buckingham Palace, and the changing of the
guards. My room mate and I went to the
London Dungeon today; it’s like a scary haunted house type thing, it cost 10
pounds though which equals about $15. I
sent Helen, Amy, Stephanie, Kasey, and Mom and Dad postcards today. I am also like the biggest girl here; it just
makes me feel so self incompetent. Plus
all of them are like best friends and well I am just the odd one out. I always Thomas be in this group of
people. I mean I realize how great of an
opportunity this is for me, but all in all I almost wish I had not of
come. Like Julie my roomie is pretty
cool, Heather, and Lora I know them from way back in the day. Brittany is a really great person and I like
her, but I feel inferior to her. Lora, I
get the vibe isn’t too fond of me, I don’t know why, I just do. Belle and Leslie I knew already as well,
Belle is really cool, I liker her, I dunno about Leslie. Like I know she doesn’t have a problem with
me, but I think she prefers not to be stuck with me. Then there is Ashley and Clarissa. Ashley is nice I don’t know her as well as
the others, but from what I do know I have no problem with. Clarissa can be nice at times, but I know she
looks down at me, she doesn’t like me at all I don’t think because of that I
don’t think I am quite fond of her either.
As far as the guys go…they’re guys.
I already knew Xander, George, Mark, and Thomas, and I heard a lot about
Jeremy. George is somewhat quiet unless
he knows ya well, or is drunk. Xander’s
pretty much alright, the same goes for Mark.
Jeremy and Thomas mostly just hang out with each other and this other
guy, Barry. Jeremy is actually very
quiet, Thomas’s funny, I haven’t quite figured out much about Barry other than
he is quite a character. There is also
two other guys Samuel and Don who are both quite laid back and the same as the
other guys excluding the three who only hang out with each other. I still can’t get over the fact that I am
here on this trip, it’s unbelievable! I
keep telling myself I’m in London, but it’s so freaking hard to grasp
that concept. One thing I have noticed
about these other girls it that they have definitely been handed out money a
lot of their lives. They don’t realize
they need to budget and not spend it like crazy. Majority of them did not have to work their
fucking ass off to pay for this trip, their parents just pretty much gave them
like $4,000-$5,000. My God, I wish my
parents had that much cash just laying around.
I earned $2,000 to pay for the trip itself my parents put about $1050
in. Then for spending money the $500 on
my debit card is all my hard-earned cash, and the $1,000 of traveler’s checks
is my Dad’s money. I guess it just irks
me a bit even though it is stupid. It’s
not that I am jealous it is just they really do need to realize money does not
grow on trees. Okay now that I am over
my little phase of homesickness for the moment; I believe I am going to try and
get some sleep.
Entry 654
7-16-01
I really am
beginning to miss home more and more. I
guess because I feel like an outsider as well.
No one really seems to feel too close and the same for me as well. I wish for time alone; in my room laying on
my bed, listening to my Three Doors Down CD while petting Tizzy. I am quite exhausted. We rode on the English Channel, but it was just like riding through a
tunnel, but still pretty cool to say I did ride on it. Right after we got off we went straight on a
bus tour, got a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower and best of all we went and saw Notre
Dame. It was quite interesting. I just feel a bit lonely. I must have known this would happen. Sometimes I get the urge to sit down and cry
my eyes out, but I can’t do that here because there is nowhere for me to be
alone. I wish I could talk to my
sister. She’s like my strong link, she
always puts things in perspective for me, and I miss her so much. I miss my sister, I’m worried about my Dad, I
don’t fit in; while here in Switzerland I have two roommates part of the other
group that I don’t even know. I wish I
could talk to Amy, I miss her too. I
wish I could just be myself without worried what they’ll say, think, or
do. I wish Tizzy was here for me to talk
to and pet and hear her tail thump on the bed while she wags it and licks me. Anyway I need to write about something else
so I’ll stop crying before someone sees me.
I can’t remember where we went after Notre Dame, I know we rode by the
opera house where “Phantom of the Opera” takes place and all. After Notre Dame I also remember going to a
hamburger fast food place called the Quick, which was really good, better than
any fast food I have ever had.
Entry 655
7-17-01
Saturday was a
free day all day. I didn’t do much at
all. I got up at around ten as well as Julie,
my roommate then. Then since we couldn’t
find anyone else to go out with, she went in the boy’s room and hung out, while
I stayed in our room. I eventually
decided to call my Mom and talked to her for a little while, when the girls
walked in the lobby. After I got off the
phone I hung out with them for a little while until it was time for
dinner. After dinner we walked through Paris to another cathedral, only I felt bad
when we got in there because there was a service still going on. The view from this church was amazing. I took pictures. We also walked by Moulin Rouge, which is a
famous place because a movie is based on it called “Moulin Rouge”. Once the walk and all was over I can’t
remember what I did. While we were there
we also got to walk around this little square deal with a bunch of little shops
and stuff. I found a picture of the Eiffel Tower with a sunset behind it and decided to
guy the painting for my Mom. I have been
sending postcards too. I wrote Amy, Helen,
Stephanie, Kasey, and Mom and Dad later that night on the cards I had
bought. Oh Sunday it was a full day;
first we went to the palace King Louie the 14th built and lived in;
I took some pictures; then we went to the Hard Rock Café Paris, we all went to
the Eiffel Tower which I got some great pictures
of. Then some of us including me went to
the top which was a gorgeous view. It
was really incredible. Then on our way
back to the hotel Ashley, Heather, Leslie, and I ate at this place called the Hippopotamus,
it was pretty good I had the grilled chicken and a Pina Colada to drink, that
wasn’t all that great tasting. After
dinner at the hotel a bunch of us hung out in one of the guys’ room. Then while I was on the phone with my Mom I
saw Leslie, Xander, and Barry walk in from the Quick so after I got off the
phone with my Mom, I went up to Leslie and Belle’s room and hung out for a bit,
then finally went back to my room and slept.
Yesterday (Monday) we rode a bus to the station, then were on a train
for like two hours, which I slept on very contently. After the train ride we couldn’t leave
because the Tour de France had already begun to go by, which is like a bike
race that goes all across Europe and lasts for several days.
The bikers only travel during the day though. Then at like 4 p.m. we finally got on the bus, it was like
a 3-4 hour long drive. We rode through
the Alps and took tons of pictures, then
slept. Then when we got here we first
ate dinner then took a walk around town.
It’s a pretty nice place everything is so close together that there’s no
need for any mode of transportation other than your feet. The river we walked by is absolutely
beautiful. After that we came back to
the hotel and Belle could tell something was wrong. So we sat down and had a talk; I told her how
I felt left out and pretty lonesome, she figured I was upset about my roommates
as well. Then she got me to go to the
bar, and I ended up getting a white beer that was huge, drank the whole thing,
and I was definitely buzzing. So I hung
out with all of them until like two in the morning. Today we went to the Mountain Pilatus and
were on top of it, which is like 7000 ft. in the air. Then when we got back Belle, Julie, Ashley,
and I went to eat and shopping. I bought
a black sweater that is soo soft! Then at
a souvenir shop I bought my Dad a patch and my Mom a bookmark. I still have to find something for Kasey. I’m just not sure what to get him. I’ll feel bad if I don’t so I kind of have
too, I am just not real sure what. I
don’t want to get him like any cheap key chain or nothing ya know. I really wish I could talk to Amy right now.
She would make me feel so much better about everything. God, I miss her; I wish she would have come,
or better yet Stephanie! I miss her a
lot too. Of course I miss Kasey! I wish I could talk to him, but I don’t
really want to call him from here, ‘cause it would look kind of bad on me, like
show how much I still like him I guess.
I can’t call him now ‘cause more than likely he’s at work. I dunno….I’m debating on whether or not I
should.
Entry 656
7-18-01
So far Italy seems to be a very romantic and quiet
country. Might I add this should be the
city of romance, not Paris; Florence that is. It is
absolutely beautiful here, and calm as well.
I have finally found a chance to escape away by myself. I feel quite safe here; not sure why, but I
do. Although I am very tired this time
to be alone and think is much needed. I
really do miss home and wish I was back there again because once again I ended
up rooming with those same girls. I feel
awkward as well because everyone around me speaks a different language, mostly
Italian. I’m getting stares from people
walking by also. I guess it isn’t often
they see someone on a bench at night writing, and alone at that. The people seem quite nice though; nicer than
any other place so far. I wish I wasn’t
so shy or sensitive then maybe I would not feel so left out. I miss seeing the stars at night, I miss the
moon. There are too many lights in any
of these cities to see any of that though.
That’s the one thing I have which I can look at and wonder if Kasey sees
them as well. Just a comforting thought
I guess, but I can’t see any of it so ah well.
At home it is only six p.m. anyways so Kasey is probably at
work. I wonder if he ever thinks about
me. I know I do him not a lot, but every
so often while I’ve been here. God, I
could definitely live here. Switzerland was more like a retirement place, but
here I could live here right now and love it.
Partially because of it’s beauty but because of it’s calm and relaxing
pace. Definitely a place for couples to
come and stroll through, there is just that huge sense of romance in the
air. Plus the weather is awesome, not
freezing as in all the other places we have visited so far. To get here it was like a twelve hour bus
ride, including two snack and bathroom breaks and a fifty minute lunch
stop. So it seemed like quite a long
day. I’ve learned I can’t stand sitting
in one place with my legs cramped for that long, but then again I don’t believe
many people can. I think I’ll make my
way back to the hotel, give my parents a call, and then go to sleep.
Entry 657
7-20-01
We’re on our
way to Rome at the moment. Last night I had a very personal conversation
with Belle, Ashley, and Barry. I ended
up telling them about my Mom’s problem. Started out on talking about
religion. Then somehow ended up on
that. Part of the reason was because Belle
continued to bug me to tell her what was disturbing me so. She is similar to Jody, based on the fact of
how well she can read others. I love Belle
she is awesome, Ashley as well. Ashley
is one of the funniest people I Thomas ever meet! Now a problem has arised…I am thinking I may
like Barry. We’ve had tons of personal
conversations since we’ve been on this trip and I have gotten to know him very
well. I somewhat had my eye on Jeremy,
but it’s hard to get to know him. All
the girls at the moment are experiencing the same homesickness, tired of some
people here, miss others, we’re all basically ready to go home. On this trip I have made good friends, and
one friend possibly for life. The two
friends are Ashley and Barry, the one possibly for like is Belle. We’re in Rome, once again I get left out in
the whole roommate situation, all I can hope is that eventually we Thomas have
just doubles because that is what screws me over the triple rooms because we
only have eight girls, leaving two odd ones out, but of course the other always
sleeps in a room with three of the other girls, so I end up alone with someone
I don’t know. But I deal with it I mean
after all what choice do I have? It’s
the experience not the roommate that counts, right!?!? Yesterday was pretty cool we went to Florence and stayed there all day; we saw where
Michangelo and Galileo were buried, and the other little plaques dedicated to
other artists like Raphael, Donatello, and a few others, it was quite
astounding. On this trip I am
discovering things about myself I never knew, I am definitely expanding my
horizons and seeing all these things is totally expanding my education. Today was supposed to be four hours ended up
being about eleven, but if you take away the two hours spent at a church where
St. Frances is buried it was only like nine hours, but I need to go because I
just had an intense conversation with someone and I feel like shit so I need to
sleep as well.