Day 115

Bobby approaches the apartment door with a mix of excitement and trepidation. Which incarnation of his wife will he find there tonight? She's riding the pregnancy roller coaster now and he's just holding on for dear life. Yesterday they'd traveled home together, perfectly happy, perfectly sane. He left her alone for ten minutes while he changed out of his suit only to return and find her a mass of tears on the couch. He was mortified until she calmed enough to explain she'd just seen a long distance phone commercial.

He couldn't help it, he laughed, which set her to crying again, only this time lamenting the fact she'd become one of those people who cries at sappy commercials. He found her adorable but wasn't silly enough to say so. Usually he doesn't mind teary Lindsay; at least she likes to keep him close. She doesn't ask much of him, just a shoulder to cry on and arms to hold her but some of the other Lindsay's he's met lately scare him.

In fact drill sergeant Lindsay terrifies him. Unfortunately she's been making regular appearances of late. It's a delicate balancing act keeping her appeased and not losing his own cool and he's really not up to the task tonight. Today has been a tough day and Bobby's afraid, for once, he wont be able to curb his temper. Although it has come down to him walking out and spending a few extra hours at the office in the past, tonight the office is the last place he wants to be. He looks down at his watch and grimaces knowing he's an hour later than he said he'd be. That could spell disaster. If there is one thing the sergeant likes, it's punctuality.

He's not in the mood tonight for a berating, or even tears for that matter. No he wants the woman he married. The one who can soothe him with a look, a touch or a gentle word. He knows, when the hormones allow it, she's still there. He hopes tonight will be one of those rare times when his Lindsay greets him as he walk into the apartment.

Slowly he opens the door. Looking in he sees no dragon lady waiting for him with her hands on hips and a scowl on her face. That's a good sign he thinks and takes a step in. No sappy love songs drifting through the rooms, no weird noises suggesting a frenzy of illogical activity, it feels like ... home. He smiles and turns to close the door, as he's snapping the lock in place he finds himself slammed against the wall. "About time" he hears in a voice an octave lower than he's heard in a while and the blood starts pumping south in reaction. He's spun around and lips are attached to his before he's had time to consciously react. His briefcase is dropped and his arms reach out to find ... skin.

"God" he moans into the hot mouth harassing his so incredibly. Her hands are just as busy, pulling his shirt from his pants, undoing buttons and then sliding up his bare chest. They reach his shoulders then push off the offending articles of clothing. He lets her go long enough for his overcoat and jacket to slide off his arms but unfortunately the shirt has other ideas. The cuffs stick around his wrist trapping him. Whimpering in frustration she tugs on it uselessly until he shakes her off so he can undo the cuffs himself. He'll be in a straight jacket if she has her way he thinks. Not that the thought of being tied up and ravaged by her doesn't have it's appeal but earlier he managed to touch skin and he wants more than anything to touch some more. He counts himself fortunate he had the foresight to remove his tie before arriving home or he could have been in a dire predicament right about now.

Lindsay makes herself busy as he untangles his hands. Buckle, button, zipper and his pants are around his ankles. He'd guessed her intent and toed of his shoes before they could get in the way. Dropping his shirt he steps out of the mess of clothes and she's back in his arms where she belongs. Her hands, distracted from their mission to remove his boxers, seek out the rippling muscles of his back as his mouth again descends on hers. Unfortunately with no one offering directions their progress is only as far as the opposite wall missing the hallway by two feet.

'Close enough', Lindsay thinks as she's trapped between two deliciously hard surfaces, 'enough time wasting.'

Her arms wrap around his neck and she feels his hands cup her thighs. Knowing he's supporting her she wraps her legs around him and feels him lift her up. Her shoulders are pinned against the wall as he braces them there. She can feel him moving around her but only cares that she can taste him, his hot warmth, his skin and his mouth. His moans echo through her body as they leave his mouth and enter hers. This is what she's needed. His hands leave her but she's holding on tight enough for both of them. Nothing will separate them now. She kisses him and kisses him and for good measure kisses him some more. As wonderful as it all feels she decides his hands are taking too long to return. How hard can it be to remove a pair of boxers? So what if she's stealing his breath does she have to do everything?

She allows one leg to loosen it's hold and her foot travels down until it encounters a waistband. His knees leave the wall as he straightens to allow them to drop. With a push of her foot she helps send the obstinate article of clothing on its way. She then trails her toe up his thigh. "God" he moans again as his knees threaten to buckle. Her mouth finds his neck very tasty. She sucks on it loving the feel of the blood pumping in his veins. His hands return to cupping her. She feels him dance and kick the boxers away. He shifts her trying to get their positions just right and she growls in frustration. 'C'mon already!' she screams inwardly as her mouth is too busy harrassing his to vocalise her thought.

Finally he's right, he's free, they're ready and he's there. Her hands and hips grip him while she hisses in joy and relief at this long anticipated joining. Bobby looks into her eyes, they're feral, dangerous. She's going to consume him and he knows he's about to enter oblivion, willingly. This is too good. Surely it must be illegal to be this good. Arrest him now because he isn't stopping for anything. He briefly wonders is this safe for the baby, should they be doing this but his body doesn't listen to any arguments his mind offers. It's off and running propriety be dammed.

More ... hot ... tight ... more ... God so good ... more ... harder Finally his body's delight reaches his brain and it begins cataloguing its reactions. "Wait" he pants but she pays him no mind. Her body lunging and undulating driving him deeper and deeper. He can barely think he just knows he has to do something before it's too late. "Wait!" he cries again but the fact not even his own body is responding to his entreaty doesn't bode well for her to heed him.

"Stop!" His impassioned plea finally penetrates.

'What? Now? Is he insane?' runs through her mind but only "Wha?" is voiced.

"Hold on"

"What?"

"To me"

"I am"

"Tighter!"

So she does. Not that she thought there was any slack between them.

"Don't let go" he warns and still confused she just nods.

Next thing she knows he's left her and she's in freefall. His hands span her back protecting her skin as she feels herself sliding down the wall. The crack of Bobby's knees against the floor echoes through the room signalling the end of their descent. Concern doesn't yet register as the abrupt landing jolts her when pelvic bone meets pelvic bone. She cries out when the shockwaves ripple through her. 'So damn good!' she thinks followed by 'Can he do that again?' When the ripples calm enough for her to intelligently process what happened it occurs to her that that had to hurt but his face isn't registering any pain. No he's watching her explode in pure delight. Tomorrow she's sure will be a different story. Then he'll be limping and sending accusing looks her way. The idiot. What the hell was he thinking? He could have broken his knees.

"God Bobby are you ok?"

He chuckles "I don't need to ask if you are."

She laughs then moans "I was too heavy wasn't I?"

"No! No, no no. Too good! You were killing me." He kisses her face then moves to her neck "Too good Linds... jelly legs ... not weight."

Her hands play in his hair soothingly "You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, just had to make you safe while I still had a modicum of thought in my brain."

"Modicum? Three syllable words Bobby I must be slipping."

She feels a tug on her ear and knows he's caught it with his teeth. Feeling him rise up on his knees she wraps her legs around him again. 'Jelly legs ... no kidding' she thinks barely able to form pressure.

"You ready?" she hears and answers him in a way that cannot possibly be misconstrued.

She finds, with great pleasure, his knees are in no way damaged. Her own frenzy now satisfied she's able to direct her attentions to him. He's a more than grateful recipient and she finds herself being drawn towards the edge again. She summons all her strength and will and takes him over with her.

The next thing he knows is he's returning to his senses, laying on the floor with a warm body curled against him. Fingers plying through his five o'clock shadow, lips suckling his collarbone.

"Is it too late to say honey I'm home?" he mutters and is greeted by peels of laughter. He grins and encourages her mouth to join his. She kisses him then quickly returns to her prior task. He smiles at the contended noises she's making. This is heaven and he's happy and quite willing for this Lindsay to come out and play again, often.

"You'll have to leave my wife should be home soon" he teases and teeth bite down on him before a warm mouth soothes the skin. The marks she leaves declaring, he is all hers. Like he didn't already know it. "The next apartment we have needs padded floors" he says and smiling she rises, tugs on his arm until he stands too, then leads him somewhere far more comfortable to rest his battered body.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 128

As she walks into Bobby's office Lindsay tiredly asks "You working late?"

He looks up from the page he's been mulling over and says "The Wallace appeal is tomorrow." Not that he's actually done any work on it in the last half hour but he feels he should. He takes a close look at her and is concerned by the unsettled look on her face "You feeling ok?"

She nods and wearily says "I'm fine."

Bobby recognizes it as her 'I'm tired and was hoping to go home' look. Thinking over the events of this morning, Lucy's announcement and everyone's overjoyed reaction, he knows Lindsay has had a real day of it. He remembers how concerned she'd been about how they'd react but her fears proved unfounded.

There was an excited energy in the office all morning. No sideways glances or calculators to dampen their joy. Every time he caught her eye there was delight there. As much as he's loved these secret months he's proud of their impending parenthood and pleased to finally be able to openly express it. The more changes he saw in her each night the harder it got to keep quiet during the day.

"I'm glad it's out ... It was hard for me to keep it secret." he says and her answering smile pleases him. He knows the announcement didn't occur the way she'd wanted or planned but she doesn't seem too upset about it.

She leans forward over the desk and says "Bobby I didn't take the pregnancy test here."

His brow furrows. He knows this, he's unlikely to ever forget the day she took the test. He wonders what her point is.

"Did you order that book?" she asks.

Defensively he answers "Me? No!" He knew better than to bring anything pregnancy related to the office. She did drum that into him quite vehemently. He watches her as she stands straight again, deep in thought.

"That little witch tricked us" she utters.

So much for her not being upset he thinks, then notices it's intrigue not agitation that has her worked up.

"Either that or somebody else is pregnant."

The look in her eye suggests she likes this idea. He can see her now investigating this avenue. He doesn't believe it for a second. Lindsay's got to be reading too much into things. Who else in the office could possibly be pregnant? It's crazy.

"Wouldn't that require one of them to actually be dating?" he argues.

"Not necessarily it only takes once." She's amused by the surprised look on his face. He can be so old fashioned sometimes or, as Helen calls him, prudish. "Bobby are you trying to tell me you've only slept with women you've dated?"

Bobby leans back in his chair smiling as he looks at her. She tilts her head alerting him she's still waiting for an answer. "I uh ... I haven't slept with every woman I've dated but yes I've dated every woman I've slept with." Lindsay is about to comment when he says "Although there was one rather stubborn woman who refused to accept that we were actually dating. She had some bizarre term for it ... now what was that term again? ... um ... recreational? ... I think that's what she called it. I didn't think it necessary to argue semantics with her not when her passion could be put to much better use in other areas." His face turns very wistful as he says "I wonder what ever happened to her?"

"I heard she got married."

"That guy is the luckiest man alive."

She grins at him "You're such a smooth talker Bobby"

"That's not all I'm smooth at ... come here." He reaches out and she walks around the desk to stand before him. His hands run up and down her hips and thighs while his mouth travels along the skin bared by the low neckline of her shirt. "So what are your plans tonight?" he asks, his mouth having moved the V of the collar enough to uncover the hint of a breast.

"I uh ... I was going to go home but uh ... if you keep that up I may be forced to stay."

He chuckles, his mouth and hands exploring further. Her hands find their way to the back of his head and she's unsure whether she should be holding him close or pushing him away. The man has talent she can't deny that.

"Bobby" she says with more of a moan than intended "We're not alone, Bec and Jimmy are here still ... maybe we should..."

His hands leave her body and reach up for her head drawing it down to meet his. He kisses her softly then whispers "You'd better be quiet then hadn't you." She feels herself drawn closer to him and his mouth returns to her chest. His hands skim down her back before making their way under the hem of her shirt. They rest there, hot and hard against her skin, bracing her sides, his thumbs moving enticingly against her skin. Goose bumps and tremors rise in her with each stroke. She worries about his face being so close to her breasts, her nipples feel hard enough to poke his eyes out.

She should be stopping him, she knows she should be stopping him but doesn't get any further than a breathy "Bobby." It certainly wasn't the warning authoritative tone she was going for.

Without letting her go he stands and she's forced backwards until perched against his desk. His mouth raises to hers and he kisses her hungrily.

When he moves from her mouth to the crook of her neck she moans, "God Bobby if you're planning on stopping do it now."

"I don't want to stop" he says but at the same time he slows down. His hands withdraw from under her shirt and come to rest on her hips. His forehead rests against hers and he says "Next time shut the door when you come in."

Lindsay laughs and pulls away. Raising her hands to frame his face she asks "When has a closed door stopped anybody around here?" He laughs and she moves her hands from his cheeks to his shoulders. They hook behind his neck and rest there.

He smiles at her "True." His face now free he leans forward and begins nuzzling her neck. "If we fire them we'd get some privacy."

"There's a flaw in that plan" she says as if seriously considering it.

He pulls away then moves to the other side of her neck, she arches it to be helpful. "I don't see a flaw" he says.

"If it's just you and me, we won't have time for this, it will be work, work, work."

He stands up looking at her disappointed "We can't have that now can we, so what's your brilliant solution?"

"Hire lots of associates, milk a percentage of their wages, they work, they earn the money, we reap the benefits and conduct all our future business through the wonders of technology from our bedroom."

Amazement spreads over his face as she speaks. "I like the way you think"

"The way I think?"

His eyes roam over her and with a grin he leers "Amongst other things."

She laughs then pushes away from the desk. "I'm going home."

He looks down at his papers "I could take this with me and work on it later."

"Do you really think you'd get out of bed to do it?"

He shakes his head "Not if you're in it." He sits down and picks up the paperwork looking at it. Lindsay straightens her clothing while watching him. As much as she doesn't want to leave him here she knows she should. She's about to say goodbye again when standing he flings the papers to the desk "Let's go" he says grabbing her hand beginning to walk to the door.

She pulls him to a stop "Bobby are you sure?"

"The facts on this aren't going to miraculously change tonight. I've been over it all so many times I could do it in my sleep. I'm as organized as I can be without Murphy's psychiatric assessment of Scott and I won't get that until morning anyway." His hands moved over her concerned face as he spoke. Drawing her towards him and planting a soft kiss on her nose he says, "Lets get you home."

YYYYYYYYY

Day 132

"Hey" Lindsay says as she walks into Bobby's office. She sits on the couch and looks at him expectantly. With Scott Wallace's retrial scheduled in two weeks this is about as close to downtime as they get together.

"Had an interesting phonecall today" he says looking up at her "They want to do a behind the scenes documentary on Scott's retrial."

"I hope you told them no." Lindsay says unimpressed with the idea.

"Well actually..."

"Bobby!"

He rises from his desk and walks to the couch to join her. "I think it's a good idea."

"I don't see how! God Bobby, you're already feeling so much pressure here why would you want a camera in your face every minute creating more?"

"Bay's agreed to it, which means it's in his face just as much. Hiller runs a clean trial and ..." he grimaces as if the very thought is distasteful "should we lose, the likelihood of appealable issues is slim at best. Richard's feeling pressure, he can't afford to lose this and just maybe ..."

"You're hoping to catch him on something?"

He nods.

"Bobby, Richard isn't stupid. He's already had the first trial overturned because of a mistake, he's going to be by the book this time. This is going to be won or lost on the facts don't go looking for stunts. This is desperate Bobby, even for you."

Hurt crosses over his face and he moves to rise from the couch. She quickly grabs his arm "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh ... it's just ... Bobby I hate what this case is doing to you."

When he doesn't reply but his face is questioning she says "It's eating you up inside, Bobby you're hurting and you're shutting me out and I hate that. I care about Scott, I really do, but I'm terrified for you."

He picks up her hand, watches it disappear, dwarfed by his own. He plays it between his fingers, her warmth, softness and strength comfort him. Finally he looks up into her searching eyes "I'm ok" he says, although they both know it's a lie.

She knows there is no use pushing him on personal issues now so she sticks to assisting him personally. "Bobby you need to concentrate on the case, on the facts. They have nothing but circumstantial evidence and you can demonstrate that."

"If we could just get that tape..."

"Bobby the tape is admissible. It's time to accept that and move on. Why are you so afraid of it?"

His hand raises and rubs his forehead. "What was your first reaction upon seeing it?"

"I never had an unbiased opinion of it Bobby. You told me what was on it before I ever saw it. What was your first reaction?"

"I thought he was guilty. I hated to but I did."

"But after speaking to Scott you changed your mind"

"Yeah he didn't do it Lindsay."

"I know and Bobby the jury will hear his story too."

"But the Scott who will be getting on the stand isn't the Scott from that night. They are going to see an erratic angry man, not the real Scott. He's not who he was, that man has already been destroyed. Lindsay if I was to hear his story for the first time now I don't even know if I'd believe him. He's not who he was."

"Then you'll show them that too. "

"I don't know if I can make him make sense up there."

"He's getting better every day Bobby, you say so yourself. You'll get him through it."

He looks doubtful.

"You will!"

"I believe it when you say it."

"Let's try this one then 'you will come home early tonight'."

He kisses her cheek and promises "I'll try."With eyes focused intently on hers he asks,"Lindsay, I want to do this documentary. When I broach it with the others tomorrow, will you support me?"

She turns away closing her eyes on a sigh then turns back and looks at him. She sees how much he wants this and says the only thing she can. "Yes"

The grateful look in his eyes makes her reluctance evaporate. He really needs to do this. Maybe he can find an added strength in doing so, a security blanket he can pin his hopes on. She'd agree to anything if it took the haunted look from his eye.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 135

It's been a strange night and Bobby is feeling a little displaced. They've barely seen each other for a week. She's been asleep most nights by the time he's dragged himself home and they've yet to have a morning uninterrupted by phone calls. He'll be the first to admit he had hopes for tonight. Lindsay however has been a little standoffish. It is normally obvious when Lindsay is feeling unsociable, but tonight her signals have been unclear.

Her face shows only peace and amusement, she's been chatty and interested in all he has to say, her hands have been active in connecting with him but every time he's tried to touch her she's pulled away. He's confused. It's not exactly a new experience for him. In fact he feels since the day they met he's had at least one Lindsay induced bewilderment moment a day. He'd considered confronting her about her behaviour, but she seemed so happy and it's not like she's completely shutting him out, so he felt guilty about making a big deal out of what is probably nothing. As with many things she does now he files it in his 'weird pregnancy behaviour' file and doesn't take it to heart.

As they were changing for bed she suddenly 'needed' a drink of warm milk that 'Bobby' had to make 'now!' He returned to find her ensconced in bed, quilt up to her chin, the need for the drink seemingly forgotten. 'Again with the weird' he thought and quietly went about his business.

Climbing into bed he moves to spoon up behind her. His hand reaches for it's favorite resting place but she pushes it away.

In frustration he sits up. "God Lindsay what have I done now?"

She rolls to her back and looks up at him with a minx like innocence. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't let me touch you all night" he blurts out while inwardly kicking himself, remembering he'd planned on being above complaining about this.

"You're crazy Bobby we've been touching all night."

"You've been touching me not me touching you."

Sighing dramatically she mumbles "Well you were bound to find out sooner or later."

His heart drops to his stomach until looking up at him in amusement she throws the covers off. Flinging her arms out so they're outstretched across the bed she says challengingly, provocatively and damn sexily "Do it! Touch me."

Sirens begin going off in his body as a chorus of cheers shout encouragement, but in his mind the lawyer remains firm. There is definitely more to this than meets the eye. Bobby's suddenly afraid to touch her, afraid of the trap he may be about to fall into. Her emerging smile shows his dilemma isn't lost on her.

More quietly with a tinge of hope and excitement she says it again "Touch me Bobby."

His hands move almost of their own accord to his new starting point, the home of their child. They settle there and his brow creases, "What the...", immediately the hem of her shirt is lifted, skin is revealed and he laughs. "This one looks cooked now Mom" he says playing with her new outtie belly button. He knows her tactic now. She wanted him to find this new discovery where he could most value it when he did. "When did this happen?"

"About quarter past four this afternoon."

He looks at her in amazement and she laughs at the fact he'd believed her.

"How did I miss this happening?" he chuckles.

"I've been starting to wonder that too" she replies.

His hands trace over her. So many changes happening to her. So much going on whether he's here to share them or not. He hates that he's missing any of it. With fingers trailing over the darkened line dissecting her lower belly he looks up at her and asks "What does it feel like?"

"My new belly button?"

He chuckles liking the playful mood she's in. "Being pregnant."

"Oh ... you wouldn't cope for a second Bobby."

His lips press against her stomach as he whispers "I know that." He rises again waiting for an answer. She sees he's serious so she sits up leaning against the headboard. Bobby lays across the bed and rests his head in what's left of her lap after the baby has been accounted for. Her fingers play in his hair and his eyes look deeply into hers.

"I could detail it clinically for you. The pressure on my internal organs, the twinges in my back, tired muscles, mood swings, exhaustion, swollen ankles, sore breasts, I could go on and on..." she chuckles "but ... it wouldn't really answer the question."

"What would?"

"I don't know ..." her hand runs over her stomach "knowing there is a child in here, knowing that because of our love a new person is emerging, part you and part me ... the look in your eye when we share this and ... the joy and fear I feel everyday ... Bobby I don't know how to explain it to you ... I don't think there are words for how this feels ... any I can think of seem trite and clichéd."

Her eyes meet his then travel to the hand on her belly. "I think you know anyway" she says and he smiles. 'I do' his face tells her. "I've missed you Bobby" she whispers and he beams.

He rises and moves to sit next to her, his hand stroking her cheek, "Things will settle down soon then you'll be sick of me always being around."

She places her hand over his holding it to her cheek. "I'll always want you around" she vows.

Bobby moves in, his lips brushing softly against hers before pulling away. They smile and shuffle down until laying on their sides facing one another. His lips meet hers again, soft and tender, 'I'm here' they say. They're in no rush there is so much to catch up on. His hands, given free reign again, reverently re-familiarize themselves with her changing body. While he's been busy preparing Scott's retrial it had changed more than he ever expected. Lindsay holds on to him, her eyes watching his react to each new discovery, 'I love you' their eyes tell each other and lips reinforce their vow.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 149

Lindsay is restless. She paces the apartment as she waits for Bobby to arrive home. Her mind runs over the events of the week. She hated what Scott's case had done to Bobby. They'd faced losses before but losing the first trial was something he took to heart, hating himself for letting Scott down. As he watched a good friend lose his freedom and sanity through circumstances he blamed on himself, Bobby's own spirit was almost destroyed. With a shattered confidence he fought not only for Scott's release but for his own.

He'd always been able to point to the rules of law to excuse his actions but here he'd disregarded the rules. He ignored his clients orders, overruled Scott's wish to testify and the trial was lost. Lindsay doesn't believe this decision necessarily made a difference nor, she suspects, does Bobby. It is however something he can beat himself up about. It is proof that he personally failed his client, his friend. No amount of assurances from her has had an affect. He's taken it and every subsequent setback personally. Lindsay had insisted on second chairing the case knowing the only way he couldn't shut her out would be if she was with him through it all.

Two nights ago Bobby came home shaken from his meeting with Scott. He had been scared knowing Scott would be taking the stand the next day. Knowing the case could potentially be won or lost then and there. He hadn't wanted to talk about it with her. Lately he rarely wants to talk about anything. Lindsay saw how on edge he was and didn't push, but she wouldn't let him push her away either. Instead she held him and talked to him of inconsequentials. Anything to help take his mind off the case.. It didn't work. They both tossed and turned all night; he concerned about Scott, she worrying about Bobby.

She was surprised yesterday listening to him talk to the reporters after Scott's testimony. Hearing the extent of his guilt so succinctly and honestly stated. Gone was the ever confident, ever defensive Bobby she knew. She wanted to take him in her arms, implore him to believe her when she tells him none of this was his doing. Instead she made supportive comments that she knows he brushed off as something her loyalty obligated her to say. The fact he had a closing to write was the only thing that stopped her from spending the rest of the night insisting he see it her way. Instead she lay there alone hoping he never again agrees to represent a friend.

His closing was strong but then she thought he'd tried a good case all along. She couldn't see the mistakes he insisted he'd made. She remembers how she felt watching the jury file in. The tension and fear burning off Bobby as she sat there hoping and praying the verdict would go their way. On the facts they had a good chance and she believed the verdict should go their way. The problem with juries is they don't always vote as the defense thinks they should.

As the verdict was read she breathed an enormous sigh of relief and turned to hug Scott. She watched with pride as Bobby did the same. Tears welled in her eyes as she saw the unadulterated joy on his face. He'd needed this so much for so many reasons. He smiled with a pure delight that couldn't be contained. The type of smile she'd seen often after they'd first discovered her pregnancy. But slowly Scott had swept Bobby's ability to smile away. Sure he'd offer her smiles, little upturnings of his mouth but the action hadn't altered his eyes until the verdict came in. He looked at her briefly, long enough for her to see deep inside of him and then his eyes skittered away.

Lindsay was glad they did. There was too much raw emotion in them. She'd wanted to hold him but knew one touch and she wouldn't be letting go. If he'd held her then she would have sunk sobbing in his arms overjoyed with his return. She suspects his own catharsis would have quickly followed. A crowded courtroom surrounded by reporters, colleagues, strangers and friends was hardly the place for such an occasion. Instead she took hold of their cases and returned to the office while he guided Scott through the paperwork involved in returning him to his life.

Now she waits for his arrival home. The anticipation has grown with each passing moment. His smile keeps replaying in her mind. She wants to see it again. She wants to feel it against her, to taste it, to hear him say her name without the tension that's been inherent in his every thought and deed of late. She imagines his body loose and laughing as long fingers drive her to distraction. She wants him home now! They've survived one of the hardest trials of their life and she wants to celebrate their return to normal.

She's told the office not to expect them in to work tomorrow. She's going to insist he take the day to bask in his new found joy before he immerses himself into work again. He doesn't know this plan, she's not sure when she'll confront him with it but she will offer a convincing argument. Personally Lindsay doesn't need the day off but knows if she merely keeps Bobby out of the office he'll just end up working at home. Not under her watch he won't. She has plans for him and they do not include work.

Lindsay hears his key turn in the lock and hurries to greet him. She hardly recognizes the man who walks through their door. He looks ten years younger. Full of boyish charm and enthusiasm. The weight of the word has been cast off his shoulders. His eyes shine brightly as he stands there in his shirtsleeves grinning at her. Who knows where he's left his jacket and tie, right at this moment who cares. His whole body and demeanour screams 'I couldn't wait to come home to you.'

She takes a step towards him which seems to propel him into motion. His arms are around her and she feels herself lifted high in the air before she realizes he's moved. She's not sure who's laughter is louder his or hers. When her feet again touch ground she looks up and sees the smile adorning his face. Her hands cover his cheeks and she draws the smile down to meet hers. Their kisses are short and sweet, interrupted by giggles and smiles. The novelty of feeling happy making them a little delirious.

"How's Scott?" Lindsay asks leading Bobby towards the couch.

"He's home, he's relieved and a little exhausted. He said he just wants to go to bed."

Lindsay pauses and turns to him saying "I know just how he feels."

Bobby nods then does a double take as he considered the ulterior meaning in her words. Her smile widens as his eyes questions hers. His hand brushes over her cheek, mapping the effects of the joy evident there.

"C'mon" he says and leads her away from the couch and down the hall towards their room.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 157

Bobby tiptoes into the kitchen. Lindsay, who's facing away from him doesn't hear his approach. Her first indication he's there is his loud "Boo!"

"Jesus Bobby you scared me half to death" she says after turning around. Her hand rests over her rapidly beating heart. "You're early?"

His laughter fades and he walks towards her "Yeah Scott wasn't home. It's a good sign I guess ... means he's moving on, getting back into the swing of things."

She smiles encouragingly at him "Yeah it's a good sign" and opens her arms to him. He willingly walks into them. Her hands run over his back soothingly as she wonders when this ache, this guilt and regret will go away. It wasn't enough that he managed an acquittal as the week has worn on Bobby's come to realise a part of his friend is still lost. He's visited each night, checking on him, supporting him and encouraging him to live again. She feels his hands slide into her hair and, cupping her head, he pulls out of her embrace and smiles down at her.

"Also good is you get me all to yourself an hour earlier."

"Mmmm lucky me" she drawls rising on her toes stretching to kiss him. Their lips meet softly at first. The whisper of a touch then faces turn and lips press a little firmer. She nibbles on his top lip and the tip of his tongue peaks out and glides across her bottom one. 'Mmmm more of that' she thinks and opens her mouth to allow him in.

His tongue slides past her teeth and enters her warm mouth. A quick brush of her soft palate and tongue and he pulls away with a shriek. Her face instead of registering surprise shows embarrassed amusement. "God Lindsay what did you eat?" He asks grimacing melodramatically.

She becomes a little smug "I'm pregnant Bobby do you really want to know?"

He shakes his head 'no' and she watches his eyes scan the room. Her arms rise and wrap around his neck. With her mouth next to his ear she whispers "I'm a defence attorney Bobby I know better than to leave incriminating evidence lying around."

He smiles thinking maybe he can replace the taste in his mouth with something far more palatable, such as that elegant and conveniently exposed, elongated neck. So he does. As his nose begins nuzzling one set of cheeks his hands travel down her back seeking out another. She smiles and leans into his touch. Soon the desire to be kissing her again is too strong and he moans "Lindsay you know I love you right?"

She giggles and pulls out of his embraces "I'll be right back ... don't go anywhere."

Shortly after she leaves him he ignores her command and walks to the bedroom to change while he waits for her to rid her mouth of its weird pickles, peanut butter and something else he'd hate to even consider flavour. He's bent over stepping out of his suit pants when arms wrap around him from behind. "I thought I told you not to move" he hears and chuckles.

"I thought..." he begins before a hand's inquisitive actions distract him "I uh ... um ... God! ... Have I told you I'm loving your second trimester yet Lindsay?"

She giggles "Yes often Bobby."

"I uh ... I'm 'really' enjoying it."

"I'd hope so or I'm doing it wrong."

"God Linds ... you're not doing it wrong"

He grabs her wrist and reluctantly drags her hand away then turns and kisses her. He walks her back and towards the bed. When her knees hit the mattress he tilts her so they fall side by side on the bed. As one hand reaches down to drape her leg over his hip his mouth begins to explore her mouth, her chin, her neck .... dammit ... Climbing off the bed he stands and pulling on her arms lifts her back up too. Her eyes laugh at him asking 'what?'

"This has got to go" he says reaching for the hem of her dress. "As much as I love it, it has to go."

Lindsay looks at the appreciative way he's looking at her and feels a warmth spread throughout her body. As her stomach began to expand she wore lose fitting clothes trying to cover it up firstly due to the fact no announcement had been made and secondly to draw the attention away from it in court. When the time came that she no longer had anything suitable that fit she relented to Helen's nagging to go shopping for new clothes.

Although most of her purchases were modest and staid business wear Helen, in her ever persistent way, convinced her to buy one figure hugging dress. 'It will make me look like I swallowed a basketball" Lindsay groaned. 'I'll look terrible. I'll never wear it!' she swore until she saw the look on Bobby's face after she reluctantly modeled it for him. It never fails to amaze her how attractive Bobby finds her changing body. She believes she's beautiful when she looks at herself through his eyes. The next day she went back and bought three more in similar styles.

Lindsay's hands raise above her head allowing Bobby to draw the material up and off. Before the task is completed he becomes impatient. With one arm draped across her lower back holding her tight his mouth captures hers then moves on to her delicious neck. As a consequence when Lindsay's hands are finally free they have no choice but to drop and wrap around his neck and shoulders. Oh the hardship. He steps back, sits on the bed and draws Lindsay into the V of his legs. Her unclothed body is a magnet for his mouth. He travels slowly over it savouring each inch. His hands remove her bra while his lips travel along her collarbone. He pulls away to see what he's uncovered and his eyes light up like a kid in a candy store. Lindsay laughs at the expression on his face and entangling her hands in his hair guides his mouth to where they both want it to be.

Obviously his mother never taught him it is rude to talk with his mouth full because unintelligible phrases rise up to greet her. She'd inform him she has no idea what he's saying but fears that may result in him removing his mouth to repeat it and nothing is worth that. His hands slide down her body until they encounter fabric which he again removes leaving her bare before him. His mouth leaves her as he moves to give his attention to her other breast so she takes this opportunity to step out of the fabric binding her ankles and lay on the bed beside him.

He's immediately there, pressing his body against her side while his mouth zeroes in on its target. Her hands, again in his hair, encourage him in his endeavor. His hands are roaming over her and the frenzy he can so quickly create in her threatens to take over. She feels him chuckle against her breast and his hand moves to rest on her hips. Its pressure stilling the almost frantic motion there.

She wants to cry out, she wants to grab his hand and force it five inches lower. She wants to feel him in her now, wants the anticipation rising in her to hit fever pitch as he sends her spinning out of control. She feels his mouth break contact with her and hears the wet slurp of it leaving her breast. She wants to pound her fists on his back until he returns it to where it belongs. But she doesn't.

Her eyes, which had squeezed tightly closed in frustration, open as she feels him slide up her body bringing one leg to rest in between hers. She moans at the contact then allows her eyes to meet his as she prepares to beg him for what she wants. She looks up at him and sees a promise of all she wants and more. 'We have all night' his eyes say and for the first time in a long time she knows it is true.

This isn't another desperate stolen moment. Tonight they have all the time in the word. Bobby leans over her, watching her, cherishing her. Her hands run over his face mapping features so dear to her. She concentrates on the rasp of whiskered skin under her fingers, his warm sweet breath anointing her face, the fiery depths of his eyes and the delicious heat of him pressed against her as she bids the urgency to leave her body. He remains still, waiting for her, watching her.

She closes her eyes thinking of all she wants to take the time to treasure. Each glorious speck of his skin, his taut stomach, chest and arms, his sinewy legs, the crease where thigh meets buttock and the dimples in his lower back, made to accommodate her fingers. She opens her eyes as her fingers trace the m shaped line of his upper lip. 'Mine" she claims it declares. Concentrating on her breaths she attunes them to his until she feels composed enough to ask for more. Her eyes meet his and she need only whisper "I love you" and their glorious night resumes.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 164

Lindsay's arrival is heralded by Bobby's office door slamming open then shut. She's the only person he knows who can open doors as loud as she closes them.

"Hi" he says.

"Do you know what Milton did today?"

"No what?"

"He offered me a chair"

"That's nice..."

"Grrrrrr" he hears as she walks out slamming the door again.

"...or not" he chuckles watching her go. The safe bet he assumes is to let her calm down. Lindsay on the warpath is not someone you want to mess with. Not if you want to remain in one piece.

Half an hour later when he emerges from his office and asks where she is he's surprised to hear she went home. He collects his things and makes his way to the car park where sure enough the car is gone too. He catches a cab home hoping to find her calmer than the last time he saw her. His first impression on opening the door destroys his hope. The couch holds pillows and a blanket. 'Note to self, offering a chair is a very bad thing' he thinks with a grimace. Hesitantly he makes his way down the hall to the bedroom only to find the door shut. "Message received loud and clear" he mumbles.

He takes a deep breath in preparation of the barrage sure to come and opens the door. Lindsay looks up as he enters. Her eyes stare at him, angry and accusing. Bobby doesn't bother to initiate conversation and merely goes about his usual routine. If she's going to pick a fight she'll have to make the first move. He removes his jacket and lays it on the bed. This warrants him another dirty look and a grumbled unintelligible comment. He doesn't ask for her to clarify he knows if anything will draw her out it is his silence. He turns his back on her and sits down on the bed as he begins unbuttoning his shirt. There is a sharp intake of breath as she prepares her attack.

"Well? Are you going to listen to me now?"

He doesn't bother correcting her and reminding her 'she' walked out on 'him' earlier. There is still that matter of sleeping on the couch he's trying to avoid. As much as he wants to give her an opportunity to rant, he'd rather not have her wrath directed towards himself. He stands slowly and turning towards her says "Milton offered you a chair and this upset you. Why?"

Having expected a defensive argument from him Lindsay's a little thrown by the question. She stands in silence glaring at him as she decides whether to answer or continue to try and pick a fight. His curious countenance and obvious willingness to listen quickly sway her. The fight goes out of her and she steps towards him saying "Because the way he did so was offensive."

"How?"

"We'd adjourned to chambers, he realized he didn't have a hope of out arguing me so he cut me off and asked if I'd like to sit down before I got too overwrought."

"Son of a bitch!"

"And Judge Cane, I could see his reaction in his eyes, my argument was forgotten all he could see was an irrational hysterical pregnant woman standing before him. How the hell am I supposed to do my job surrounded by men like that?" Talking about it only heightens the emotion she's feeling and her anger with Bobby returns "And you're no better Bobby!"

"Me? What did I do?"

"Why is it men see a pregnant woman and automatically assume she's weak. You get a stomach and all of a sudden you're not allowed to have a brain, you're just a good little breeder who should be sitting at home in an outfit with, with ... with ducks on it and, and ... and knitting."

Bobby can't help but smile at her description and when Lindsay sees this she gets furious. Picking up a cushion from the bed she hurls it at him. He catches it and puts it back on the bed then starts walking towards her until her eyes tell him to back off. Sensibly he does. Resolve in his eyes he says "Lindsay I don't see you as weak..."

"Bobby you make decisions for me all the time, you second guess me and ..."

"You've been telling me off for that for years. You know it has nothing to do with your being pregnant."

"Can you honestly tell me you've never brushed off my behaviour as purely a pregnancy thing?"

"No, but neither can you honestly tell me pregnancy has never affected your behaviour."

He watches a little of the fire go out of her eyes and steps closer "Lindsay I've never considered you weak because you're pregnant. If anything your pregnancy has proved to me just how strong you are. You just keep going no matter what life throws at you, whereas me, I stub my toe and I'm out of action for a month."

She sighs and gives him a small smile.

"Lindsay you know I rely on you and your incredible brain every day. If I've made you feel otherwise then I'm truly sorry. It has nothing to do with my opinion having changed. Lindsay I love you and yes I want to protect you but I've never thought less of you. You know that."

She nods then slowly walks towards him. Bobby opens his arms to her. She drops her head onto his chest and leaning into his touch says "He got me so mad Bobby but I had to hold it all in. I couldn't let him see he'd upset me. I shouldn't come home and take it out on you."

"It's ok I understand"

"All the respect I've earned over the years is gone, I'm just a belly with legs now and they're all sitting back waiting for me to fail. I'm going to have to be ten times tougher just to be taken seriously again and I know you aren't like that but ... you're still one of them and you're here so if I can't shout at them .."

He draws her away from his body and looking at her says "Shout at me all you want just don't send me to the couch."

The pathetic puppy dog look on his face makes her laugh and she wraps her arms around him holding him close. She feels the anger in his body though and knows she has one more point she needs to make "Bobby if you've even considered confronting Milton about this you'll be on the couch for life."

"Well I'm hardly likely to admit to it now then am I?"

She pulls away just so he can see the sincerity in her eyes "I'm serious Bobby, the last thing I need is my husband sticking up for me."

"I know that and I won't, I promise."

"Good."

"But that doesn't stop me wanting to flatten him."

"You and me both."

His eyes roam over her body and she sees the desire to make an increased weight comment. Shaking her head at him she reminds him about the pillows out on the couch and he shoots her an 'I'm totally innocent' look. She rolls her eyes in response and then leaves the room.

Bobby finishes changing then goes to find her. He's pleased to see he couch has been cleared as he passes it. Finding her in the kitchen he sets about helping her prepare their meal.

"So Cane's ruling went against you?" He asks reaching for their plates.

"No it was inadmissible"

He turns and smiles at her "Like you said?"

"Like I said."

"So he did listen to you."

"A fifth grader would have known it was inadmissible Bobby it had nothing to do with me."

He places the plates on the table and looks up in surprise at her next words.

"Want to know what happened next?"

"There's more?

She nods "He adjourned for the day because I'd had enough excitement."

"He actually said that?"

"Not in so many words but I saw the look he gave me."

Bobby doesn't bother arguing the point with her. Doesn't bother reminding her it is a Friday night and Cane probably had plans for the weekend he was eager to get to. Arguing about it isn't likely to change Lindsay's mind. Instead he'll let her believe what she wants to believe and he'll believe what he wants to believe and if he plays his cards right they'll get to believe it in the same bed tonight.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 168

Lindsay rises from her desk to walk to the filing cabinet. Three steps later she lets out a sharp gasp and her hand moves to clutch her stomach.

"You ok?" Jimmy asks walking quickly towards her.

"I'm fine" she answers and takes another step before saying "Ow dammit!"

"Is something wrong?" Jimmy asks concerned.

"No it's just the baby kicking me."

"It sounds like you have a little Rocky in there."

Bobby walks into the office in time to hear Lindsay say "Oh for God's sake Jimmy don't you start."

"What's going on?" Bobby asks.

Jimmy's expression is one of total innocence as he tries to compile a defence to a crime he doesn't know..

"Your child's doing a river dance on my bladder and Jimmy wants to name it Rocky."

Jimmy's about to protest but is distracted by the delighted look on Bobby's face as he walks towards Lindsay saying "There you go." When she greets that with an eyeroll and a playful shove in the chest Jimmy's curiosity gets the better of him.

"What's going on?" he asks repeating Bobby's earlier words.

They look up as if surprised by his presence then with an embarrassed smile Lindsay says "Bobby insists on nicknaming our child."

"And Lindsay won't let me" he adds.

"I would if you came up with something reasonable."

"Rocky is ok" Jimmy says "I have a cousin named Rocky."

"Yeah Rocky's ok " Lindsay agrees "Assuming it's a boy but it could just as well be a girl."

"Rockette" Bobby says helpfully

"Rockina" Jimmy adds.

"Oh cut it out!" Lindsay cries in thinly disguised amusement before walking back to her desk.

Bobby walks up behind her and puts his arms around her before she can sit down. He leans in and kisses the side of her neck as she relaxes back into him. When she's nice and contented he mumbles "Rockita" eliciting a groan from Lindsay and peals of laughter from Jimmy.

"Do not encourage him Jimmy" Lindsay says sternly but no one is paying attention to her complaints.

Bobby, still holding her in his embrace, is listing all the so far vetoed names for Jimmy's complete amusement. He yelps though when Lindsay 'oh so accidentally' stands on his foot hearing him begin the latest reject. So to Jimmy's disappointment he merely whispers it into her ear "The Boobulator." His hand caresses the top of her belly while his thumb subtly brushes the underside of her breast. Smiling she leans against him and he raises his hand to cup her cheek, turning her face so he can kiss her.

"Oh no, public displays of affection, save us now!" they hear and separate looking up to see Ellenor and Eugene laughing as they walk through the door.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 175

Bobby looks up as Lindsay walks down the hall towards him. She'd told him ten minutes ago she was ready and, naively believing her, he went to the front door packed and ready to leave. She's been singing out that she's coming to his every query. He's learnt better than to actually go and try to assist her. His presence only upsets her routine and she's added him looking at his watch to the things he's not to do in her presence unless he wants to hear her scream. Yesterday he teased that her sense of time diminishes as her waistline increases. She didn't deem that worthy of a response but the flash in her eyes threatened retaliation at a later time. He happily paid his dues last night.

Walking towards the door Lindsay looks at Bobby's smiling face and prepares to hear another snide comment from him about the reason she's kept him waiting. Instead he leans forward and kisses her cheek. She doesn't fall for that trick though. Bobby's eyes are too expressive and the grin on his face is infectious. "What?" she laughs.

"Nothing" he says with a shake of his head. "You're definitely ready?"

She holds her arms out in an 'I'm here aren't I' gesture. When he makes no movement to go she says "Are you planning on opening that door or should we stand here debating it all day?"

"You haven't forgotten anything?" he asks alerting her to the fact he knows she has.

Lindsay runs through her mental checklist. Pregnancy has a strange way of affecting your mind but she's sure she hasn't done anything addle brained today. Not having a clue what he's talking about she says in frustration "Just tell me already Bobby!"

"How big is your tummy now?" he asks softly stroking it.

She's thrown by the question and can only respond with a confused "What? What's that got to do with anything?"

"I'm just curious" Bobby says leaning over her then looking down "if you can still see your feet."

She gives him a 'very funny Bobby' look then her eyes open wide with comprehension. Leaning forward so she can see past her belly she sticks one foot out. Her eyes are met with pink fuzzy slippers, groaning she turns and mumbles as she walks away "You could have just said so."

His laugh follows her down the hallway making her smile to herself. His laughter is sweet music to her ears and always a delight to hear, even if it is at her own expense. She wonders if her wearing pink slippers in court could help get William Hinks his acquittal. It's worth a try she thinks, after all they need whatever advantage they can get on this one.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 178

Lindsay had been silent on the drive home. It isn't unusual after a busy day for her to want some quiet time to just think and regroup, but it felt like more than that to Bobby tonight. The air between them was charged with an energy he didn't quite enjoy. The silence was definitely not the comfortable variety they normally shared.

"You ok?" he asks closing the apartment door behind him.

"I'm going to have a shower" she replies and walks down the hall.

'That didn't answer my question' he thinks as he follows her into the bedroom. Shedding his overcoat and jacket he asks "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"For someone who won an acquittal on a case near impossible to win you don't look too happy."

"It's just ..." she pauses and closing her eyes shakes her head "I'm just tired" she opens her eyes and looks at him "I'll just wash the day away and I'll be fine" with that she enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her.

It doesn't slam but it may as well have as Bobby has received the message loud and clear he's not welcome to join her. "End of discussion" he mumbles and changes into sweats. He's worried about her. He never wanted her to take the Hinks case in the first place. After voicing that opinion he received a lecture for being overbearing and treating her like an invalid not a strong and perfectly capable woman. His wish had nothing to do with her pregnancy but try telling her that. As excited and delighted as she is to be pregnant she dislikes being thought of as pregnant. There is still a sense of the old boys club at times in the legal profession and therefore she's had some unpleasant experiences since she's started to show leaving her quick to react to any percieved slight.

Bobby struggles now coming to terms with Lindsay doing some of the cases they do. He can't help it. She's his wife, he loves her and wants to protect her and he won't apologise for it. She needs to come to terms with his attitude just as he needs to accept she won't be changing who she is. He doesn't really want her to but that doesn't stop him wanting more for her. She can't expect him to love her but not want to protect her. It's not a case of thinking less of her as she claims. It's the world he thinks less of and he doesn't want to let in anything he fears could hurt or upset her.

Something has definitely upset her today and he hates that he doesn't know what it is. She's not going to tell him, he knows that, her plan is avoidance. What he doesn't know is why? They've been opening up to each other so much more lately and he doesn't like her turning away now. He knows how the rest of the night will go. She'll come out of the bathroom refreshed and strong and will divert his every attempt to renew the conversation, if you could call their previous words a conversation.

She'll want to deal with it on her own to show whoever has upset her that they haven't won. She doesn't want him fixing things for her, he knows that, but that doesn't mean she can't talk to him about it. There is no way he'll get it out of her though if she's determined to close herself off. Look up stubborn in the dictionary and you see a picture of Lindsay. Well he's stubborn too and he wants to know what happened.

She can be as strong and independent as she likes but he's not going to be kept in the dark, not when he might be able to help. If she isn't going to tell him he'll go to the next best source; Jimmy. When has he ever managed to keep his mouth shut about anything? Bobby had made Jimmy promise to look after Lindsay during this case so he'd better know what's going on or he'll have an irate Bobby to contend with. In the back of Bobby's mind is the thought Jimmy let that order slip. He fears if that's the case he'll be in trouble with Lindsay for quite a while then dismisses it knowing she would have confronted him on that immediately had she known.

Lindsay dries off, then wraps herself in a bathrobe and walks into the bedroom. She eyes the bed, all she wants to do is curl up, go to sleep and wake up to find it's all been a bad dream. Her stomach rumbles and she gives it a gentle rub saying "Ok baby, food then bed." Wondering if Bobby may have started something for dinner she leaves the bedroom. Walking down the hall she spies him on the phone at his desk. She pauses in the doorway.

Hearing her approach Bobby looks up and says "Thanks I'll see you tomorrow." He hangs up and leans back in his chair appraising her.

As his eyes roam over her she knows he's looking for her weakness, waiting for her to crumble. It angers her bringing back all the ill feeling she felt coming home. So much for her cleansing shower. "Who was that?" she asks angrily.

"Jimmy"

"You called him?"

"Yes"

"He told you didn't he?"

"Yeah"

Her eyes close on an annoyed sigh, when they open again there is fire there, "You just couldn't let it go could you? You couldn't wait until I was ready. All I needed was time Bobby but you couldn't even give me that could you?"

"Were you really going to tell me Lindsay?"

She wants to scream "Of course I was!" but to him she cannot lie. "I don't need this" she says and walks back to their room.

"Need what?" he asks following her.

"You saying I told you so" she enters the room and starts opening and closing drawers, getting clothes to change into.

Watching her he thinks if she doesn't calm down the furniture won't survive. "Lindsay if you're angry at me take it out on me not the bureau."

She turns, a pair of socks in her raised hand, and he puts his arms up in a sign of surrender. The fight goes out of her at the sight of his smile. She walks to the bed and sits "I'm not angry at you."

He walks forward and squats before her, his eyes look up into hers as his hands rest beside her on the bed.

"He used me Bobby. I was just a pawn in his sick game."

"So you're angry at Hinks."

"No, I'm angry at me! He played me for the fool I am."

"Lindsay you're not a fool! You couldn't have known what he was thinking. You're not a psychiatrist, Jeannie is trained for this and she didn't know. You took her word, you believed in her expertise and you did what was necessary to win for your client. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should have known."

"Lindsay"

"I don't think I wanted to know."

"What do you mean?"

"To go up against Roland Hill, to argue a case where even the defendant insists he's guilty and still win was too enticing an opportunity. I told Jeannie I didn't do serial killers but the more challenging the case became the more I wanted it. I wanted to win Bobby but to do it, I think I needed to believe he was innocent and ... and I never let myself doubt it, my ego needed to believe it."

"Lindsay you're second guessing yourself now and putting the worst spin on it. This was never about ego with you."

"When I trapped him up there on the witness stand, that was ego Bobby, I was smug and all along I was the one caught in his trap."

"It's over now Lindsay. It's done with, just forget about him and move on."

"He'll kill again Bobby. Because of me he gets to kill again."

"And they'll catch him and put him away."

"Some consolation that will be to her family" she says and the tears she's tried so hard to hold in begin to fall.

Bobby climbs onto the bed next to her and wraps her in his arms. He rocks her gently and silently. He doesn't know what she needs to hear. He doesn't know that there is anything she could hear now that would help. He gives her all he knows he has to offer; his love. When he feels her begin to calm he pulls away enough to kiss the tears from her face. She smiles at him and rests her hand on the back of his neck as she leans her head on his shoulder.

"You ok?" he asks.

"No but I will be."

"Yeah you will" he smiles. She's so strong, so resilient, and he'll be there for her, whatever she needs. "Do you want anything?"

"Food and you" she says standing.

He smiles at her "Should I be worried you placed food before me."

She runs her fingers through his hair "No but ... how do you feel about the fact the reason I want you is I need a back rub?"

He hangs his head as if dejected and hears her soft laugh as her fingers leave his hair. She walks out of the room and he rises to follow. "Hey Lindsay I'm good at all sorts of rubs" he calls out to her.

She looks over her shoulder and smiles "I'll keep that in mind."

He walks to his desk and turns the lamp off there. He won't be working tonight unless she begs him for space. When he arrives in the kitchen he finds her leaning into the fridge. She looks up on his entry and says "When was the last time we shopped?"

Looking thoughtful he asks "What month is it now?"

She shakes her head and shuts the door. "There is nothing here Bobby"

He walks towards her and wraps his arms around her from behind. His hands caress her and whispering in her ear he asks "So what does the melon want, Chinese or pizza?"

"Melon?"

"Just look at it" he says, his hands slipping into the robe and exposing her belly, they roam over her softly, delighting in the feel of her skin.

Her head rests against his shoulder. "I don't know why I love you."

"I give good back rubs" he replies making her smile.

Incredulously she sighs "Melon?" as she relaxes into his arms.

"Yeah" he kisses her cheek "So what'll it be? The sooner we order the sooner we can get down to rubbing."

She laughs turning in his arms and kissing his lips. They smile at each other. He can see the gratitude in her eyes, she can see the concern in his. "Surprise me" she says "I'll be waiting on the couch."

He watches her walk away. She seems better but he needs to know. "Lindsay?"

She turns, her hands are busy retying her robe, "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

She nods, quietly says "I'm ok" then departs.

YYYYYYYYY

Day 182

"Bobby!" Lindsay calls out from her perch on the couch.

He's quickly by her side "What's wrong? You ok?"

"Promise me you wont laugh" The fact his mouth is already forming a big grin doesn't give her much confidence in his assurance. "I uh ... I need your help" she says a little embarrassed.

He looks at her confused, after her stress with the Hinks case he made sure her next one was a no brainer. "You need help with Peters?" he asks incredulously "Lindsay that's..."

She rolls her eyes "Not with the case ... I uh ..." she pauses and drops her head against her chest.

"What?" he asks.

Resigned she mumbles "I'm stuck."

"Excuse me?"

Louder this time she says "I'm stuck! ... I can't get off the damn couch."

The grin that spreads across Bobby's face almost splits it in half.

"You promised" Lindsay warns pouting.

Bobby nods and turns and leaves the room.

"Bobby!" she calls after him exasperated then hears exaggerated laughter coming from the hallway. She groans shaking her head and shoots him an unamused look when he returns. The feigned innocence on his face is no protection from her glare.

"So you really can't get up?"

She nods.

"Show me"

"Bobby!" she laughs.

"C'mon" he goads her "Show me"

She makes a intensive but futile effort to rise which amuses him immensely.

"Bobby!" she moans.

"I'm sorry" he chuckles and ruffles her hair.

She shoots him a warning look and ducking slaps his hand away.

"You're a captive audience" he laughs "I like this."

"I may be stuck here but there's no guarantee I'll stay awake, you're not that entertaining" she teases.

He moves so his legs are against the couch and places his hands next to her. Leaning forward he invades her space forcing her back and trapping her within the confines of his arms. His face hovers above hers "I think I can keep you alert Lindsay. I'm sure I can keep you very very alert."

"I'll be wet that's for sure" she replies startling him with her comment. Grinning she says "Your child is playing soccer with my bladder."

Groaning he pushes off the couch and reaches his hand down and helps her up.

"My hero" she says rising on tippy toes to reward him with a kiss then walking away. As she's about to enter the hallway she turns and says "I'm feeling drowsy Bobby, maybe when I get back you can help my come up with a way to combat it?"

"I'll see what I can do" he promises and enjoys her giggle as she walks away.

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Day 185

As she approaches the apartment door Lindsay hears the phone ringing. She rushes to open the door but the action made difficult by being overladen with shopping bags. Finally the door gives way and dropping the bags on the couch she reaches for the phone. Her hurried greeting is responded to by a smarmy voice saying "Why Lindsay you are sounding positively breathless."

What little breath she had left was sucked out after hearing the unmistakable tone of William Hinks. It has been a week since she last had contact with him but the cadence and sound of his voice is unforgettable. She feels positively ill upon hearing it again.

"What do you want William?"

"That's a very unprofessional tone Lindsay. However do you keep clients?"

She's filled with a desire to run but acknowledges the ridiculousness of it. She's in her home, she's safe, he's just playing games with her again. Well she's not going to play. "This is my home William, I do not conduct business from home and I'd appreciate you not calling me again here or at the office." With that she hangs up.

Shaken she paces the room for a good ten minutes before she calms enough to pick up her bags and enter the kitchen to put the groceries away. Just as she places the bags on the table the phone rings again. She pauses afraid of its implications then, shaking her head, walks to answer it chanting to herself "It isn't him. It isn't him."

"I find myself wanting to reach out and touch people at the most inopportune times"

She slams the phone down. Too freaked now to do anything she stares at it, knowing it will ring again. Sure enough ten minutes later it does, but she doesn't answer it, allowing the machine to pick up.

"Oh modern technology, so impersonal, so lifeless. Have you ever wondered how it feels to be lifeless Lindsay?"

She picks up the phone and slams it down. In a bid to have him out of her life she erases the tape. She finds herself curled on the armchair listening for the next ring. The thought of it doing so is sickening yet she can't move away. A sound at the door startles her and she jumps up off the chair only to be confronted with Bobby's surprised face.

"Are you ok?" he asks moving towards her.

She tries to disguise the terror she feels. "I'm ... fine. Why?"

"You look..."

"I must have dozed off and you startled me that's all."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'm just a bit tired ... I'll go have a shower and ..." not knowing what she plans to say next she rushes out of the room.

Bobby watches her go and shakes his head in a mix of concern and amusement.

As the night wears on concern wins out over amusement. Lindsay is skittish, her hands never still, the set of her jaw shows fierce determined concentration and she jumps every time the phone rings. Finally frustrated with her behaviour he confronts her on it. Although at first denying it when next the phone rings he shoots an accusing look at her.

"Let the machine get it" he says "Now tell me what's wrong."

"Bobby nothing's wrong!" she assures him "I don't know, maybe my noise intolerance hormones have been activated." He laughs at her explanation and she smiles as convincingly as she can then pleads. "I don't want to fight with you Bobby can we just be together ... please!"

"Sure" he says and lets her find safety in his arms.

Lindsay holds on to him tight. Trying to rid herself of her fears. The greatest of which is that it isn't a coincidence Hink's calls stopped when Bobby arrived home. She's not ready to share this with him yet. She got them into this mess and will get them out of it too. She'll sort it out, on her own but she needs Bobby's comfort and strength to help her in her resolve.

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