"Vote for me or I'll crush your fuckin' nuts!"
Our next choice is John Kerry. Now IMO he's a lot better than Bush. But still, his track record as a Senator isn't that great. He's basically been sitting on his ass in the senate ever since he was elected... HASN'T DONE SHIT... He lacks work ethic IMO..... But fear not... Good ole' Thumbscrewz has made the decision on who should be your next president...
"Vote for me or I'll crush your fuckin' nuts!"
"I do not understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal, fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? Why should it be illegal to sell something that is perfectly legal to give away? Afterall, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army, they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people... In civilian life, they put you in jail for giving someone an orgasm. I can't follow the logic on that at all."
"School uniforms? Bad theory! The idea is if kids wear school uniforms to school it helps to keep order. Don't schools do enough damage by making kids think alike? And now they want them to look alike too? And it's not a new idea... I first saw it in old news reels from the 1930's but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German."
"If you want to help your kids... Leave them the fuck alone!"
"Isn't it a little bit strange that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
To read more great reasons why he would be a great president, I direct you here: Carlinisms
That's right. George fuckin' Carlin. He has more brains in his left nostril than Bush and Kerry have put together. The first thing George would probably do is tax churches! Now this is a fantastic fuckin' idea. That alone would wipe out the national debt. How many churches are there in your town? Think about how much more money the country would have to throw around if we just taxed the land churches use. They use quite a bit of land... At least the size of California if I had to guess at how much they use. George would tax these fuckers. Then again... If Bush was smart, he'd tax the churches and then he could afford to continue to bomb all the countries who's name that we can't even pronounce that he wants!
Hell... I don't have to tell you anymore reasons to vote for Carlin. Just pick up some of his albums, HBO specials, and books.
