It's a tough map to look at, because so many passages look familiar. Some have higher ceilings than others, some have columns or boulders in their centers, but most of them just repeat the grid pattern.
I normally go to Hamilton first, then Trout, then New Trout. All of the crawling is in Hamilton, as well as most of the formations. From there, new cavers can really appreciate the sprawling breakdown corridors of Trout. New Trout � well, no one likes New Trout and its slanted passage, but since you're suited up, you might as well make it a three-cave trip instead of a two-cave.
During the annual Spring Training trip to the Thorn Spring cabins, seven of us went to the Trout Rock caves. (There were over 20 people in the cabin this year, but most of them went to Cave Mountain Cave. Trout Rocks was an overflow trip, so Allen Rush wasn�t stuck leading two platoons up the hill to Cave Mountain.)
On the trip were me, my girlfriend Rachael (her first cave trip), Dan and Beth, Desi, Rowland, and Rowland�s 14-year-old son Charlie.
Everyone got a copy of the Hamilton map to help with navigation. Normally this would help you get around a cave. Not so with Hamilton. The cave�s too confusing for a mere map to fix. You get so many crisscrossing tunnels so quickly, it�s hard to count how many left forks and right turns you�ve gone by. You walk casually for a minute, and then you can�t even place yourself on the map.
I was trying to lead the group to the Mud Room, on the left edge of the map. I could draw a quick path from anywhere right to the Clay Room. But enacting that route would involve memorizing to walk through three junctions, then take a left, then veer right, then pass through three more intersections, then take another right, then straight through two more, then a left. It�s easier to navigate Brooklyn blindfolded.
I stopped every couple junctions (which worked out to every fifty feet) to look at the map and take a stab at where we were. Every wrong turn meant we�d have to then follow a different set of directions. I could get us outside no problem, I just couldn�t find a clue beyond that.
At one of these breaks, I showed the map to Charlie.
"This looks like a map of America," he said.
Sure enough, it did. The curved clay room at the far left fits California. The two southernmost protrusions match up to Texas and Florida. The little-visited parts of the cave not on this map far to the north were Canada.
This gave a reference point for all exploration of the cave. Instead of trying to get to the Clay Room, we were trying to get to California. We were, let's see, a hundred feet or so into the entrance, so we were right in ... West Virginia. That was appropriate.
To get where we wanted, we�d have to go to Chicago. From there, we could take whatever highway we could find across the Rockies and get to California on the other side.
It was appropriate that we were going to California. That�s the state everyone goes to. The gold rush, the dust bowl, anyone looking for a career in acting, they all pack up their gear and head for the Golden State. And so were we, although with the less inspirational goal of seeing pervented clay scupltures other cavers made.
With the U.S. map mentally overlaid on the Hamilton one, we made it to the Clay Room without further wrong turns. Charlie was a sharp thinker. A little outside the box thinking, and Hamilton wil forevermore be one of the easiest caves I�ll ever navigate.
It doesn�t count as vandalism to make clay scupltures in a well-traveled cave, so it was one of the few times you could leave some creative record of your trip. We went to work on our own scupltures. Rachael made a fruit bowl, with a good dozen individual pieces of fruit. I made a footprint. Mine took less effort.
At the Southern end of the Clay Room was a huge alien head made from the clay. If this was California, then finding a resident alien in Los Angeles fit right in.
To get outside, we worked our way over to Las Vegas, then moved across the Southwest to the register room (around Roswell, New Mexico). Then we got on Route 66. This took us more or less due west, until we got an interchange at Texas for quick passage around the Gulf states.
The entrance took us out through the Florida Keys. Following this logic, that tiny little hole below the main Hamilton entrance would be Cuba. I didn�t think to check that hole for tobacco plantations, or bearded dictators.
With the time we saved exploring Hamilton, we had time to explore Trout a little more thoroughly (and even spend an extra twenty seconds in New Trout).
I highly recommend taking the USA approach to navigating Hamilton. It might also work in reverse. Next time you�re driving cross-country, just imagine trying to get to the Clay Room, and see how much quicker you get to California.