Why? Well, for one thing, anyone with the slightest bit of intelligence has already decided not to vote Buchanan, and nothing I say will persuade them. So I've boiled them away and the only people I'm talking to people planning on voting for Bush.
Hello, Bush voters. I really hope you hate Clinton. Or you have strong Republican ideals that aren't reflected by, well, any of your candidates since Lincoln. Those are the only sane reasons why anyone would vote for Bush. He's an empty suit, a corporate figurehead for a upper class tax cut machine. His only job is to trick the public into thinking he's better than Clinton, and it's working. This putz could be Presimident!
Any vote not for Bush is a good vote, so that's where your check marks have got to go on Tuesday. You probably are sick to death of Gore, so you don't want to vote for him. You probably are also vaguely aware that Ralph Nader, the guy who got air bags in cars and other consumer advocacy stuff, is also running. I recommend him, but you won't go for him: he's not going to give you upper class tax cuts either.
So you've got Buchanan. Up until he found out he wouldn't be on the Republican ticket, he was a Republican. He's the closest thing to a Nazi we've got running this year, with a happily trumpeted hatred for immigrants and gays, and barely disguised hatred for anyone who's not white. There's not a chance in hell he'll win, so a vote for him will be flushing it down the crapper. But it'll take a vote away from Bush, and in this race, that one vote could make the difference between four more years of status quo and four years of much much worse.
Yes, I'm asking you to throw your vote so Gore wins. I don't like him much, but I'd rather have Gore rent out my sofabed to campaign contributors than see Bush put a slash mark on Air Force One for each person he executed in Texas.
I'm sorry Gore and Bush are our choices. There were chances for real politicians in this election. The Republicans had John McCain, and the Democrats had Bill Bradley. People actually believed in them. Neither one was playing traditional politics, both were against soft money and turning the country into a profit generator for a few companies who'd be hacked in pieces if Teddy Roosevelt was still in charge.
What's so bad about soft money? Back in February, Bush was given over $30 million for campaign funding, when most other guys had empty pockets. Those few big money guys picked him over all other Republicans, and that's why he's the nominee. As soon as the media heard that, they assumed he'd be the victor and covered him that way. Self fulfilling prophecy: Bush gets the nomination, despite no on in the country much caring about him. Plus, that money meant he could make it all the way through the primaries confidently, while all the other candidates had to scrape their pennies to see if they could make it through Iowa or New Hampshire.
If just one of the real politicians made it through, this would be a one sided race. If it was Bradley-Bush, the angry Nader votes would never have left Gore to begin with. If it was McCain-Gore, a lot of career liberals would have some thinking to do at the ballot box (including myself). I'd rather have an honest Republican than a Democrat who'd sell the country to the highest bidder.
We've got the two blandest, most offensive people to choose from. Why? Ever seen Survivor? The obvious dead weight gets lost at the beginning (Sonya, Alan Keyes) then the people who refuse to sink down and plot assassinations (Gervase and Colleen, McCain and Bradley). The people who are left are, ironically, the people least deserving to either win a million dollars or be president. But they're our two choices, and we've got to pick #1. Bore or #2. Gush.
That's not true, of course. We can also #3. pick a third party or #4. stay the hell home. A lot of people are doing #4. Please, #4. people, get out there and pick anyone beside Bush. Vote Nader or the Natural Law Party or the Socialist Party or the Libertarian Party or write in Mickey Mouse or your cat or the Backstreet Boy of your choice, just do something to stop Bush from inheriting an office he most definitely did not earn. (Nader's currently campaigning for a None of the Above box to get the disgusted but not yet apathetic vote. Currently, only Nevada has it.)
Have you seen a Nader ad on TV? Probably not. I haven't, and I've been to a rally of his. Why not? Easy: he's got no money for it. But if Nader gets 5% of the vote come Tuesday, the Green Party gets federal funding for the 2004 election. That'll mean TV ads, prominence, actual media coverage for third parties not run by nutty big eared billionaires, and hopefully even a podium at the debates. In the long run, this could be the beginning of an overthrow of the two-headed beast that pretends to give you a choice. The lesser of two evils is still evil, remember. Nader's currently a tad shy of 5% in most polls, so a few votes could make all the difference.
No one's thinking Nader will actually get elected. I doubt a single person in the campaign ever expects him to be in the White House (unless he's wrestling Secret Service on the front lawn and carrying a NO TO WTO sign). But getting him in the debates will allow a host of new subjects to be brought up. They won't be by the moderator, of course, but by Nader gunning after the Republicrats running in 2004.
Bush and Gore are both for capital punishment. They're both for NAFTA and the WTO, whose goals are to find legal loopholes to ship away American jobs to children in third world sweatshops. They're both for dozens and dozens of things, most of which you'll never hear coming from either party or from the media. Both candidates agree on them, so why bring them up at debates? They're the real reason this country has the biggest unequal distribution of wealth in the world. With both Democrats and Republicans currently benefiting from these, it takes a third party to bring them up, and if Nader gets arrested for trying to even watch the debates, they're sure as hell not going to be brought up by the Republicrats.
And now, the Bush bashing. George W. Bush is a friggin' moron. He's been arrested AT LEAST three times for theft, rioting and drunk driving. (There could be more he hasn't fessed up to yet.) He got lousy grades in high school, lousy grades in college, and his father's prominence was the main reason he even got INTO college, much less why he was able to squeak through and graduate. He's not qualified to run the register at Taco Bell, much less run the country.
There's a belief that W. is a functional illiterate. Hard to believe, but there's plenty of evidence toward it. He's said that he doesn't ever read books, his 'favorite' book as a child was written the year after he graduated college, he had horrible grades all through school, he mispronounces common words, his staffers read most all memos to him, and his mother Barbara Bush took a very public literacy stance when she was First Lady, for no apparent reason.
After school is a mystery for Bush. Until he was 40 or so, this guy didn't really have a job. He just partied, snorted coke, drove drunk, and all on his dad's money. There's eight years where there1s no record of George W. at all.
Then his dad pulled some strings for him and got him a couple jobs, several in the oil industry. Which he failed at. A Harvard MBA's not worth much if you don't know what MBA stands for.
Then W. wriggled his way into owning part of the Texas Rangers. Give W. credit where it's due: he sat through most all of the Ranger home games. This could just be so he can find out how his team did without having to ask someone to read the box score to him.
Now comes the one thing he's done. The SINGLE thing he's done. He got the Texas Rangers to build a new ballpark. How? By getting Texans to give him $135 million of their dollars so he could make a profit off it. The sales tax has to be raised to pay for it. (Right after the players' strike a few years later, the value of the WHOLE TEAM, stadium included, would be $138 million).
After that, W. gets elected governor of Texas. Why shouldn't Texas vote for him?: he's a famous name, he got a stadium built, plus he's got not only his dad's money to campaign with but the money he 'earned' via the stadium via Texas taxpayers.
Under W., Houston becomes smog city. Texas becomes dead last in education. Then Bush gets re-elected. There're benefits to keeping the locals stupid.
Cut to the stereotypical smoky meeting room with bloated plutocrat Republicans (they're not smoking, they're just in Houston). Their ideal president is someone with name recognition so people would think they know him, but at the same time so empty headed that he'd agree to any proposal they had. They found two possibilities: George W. Bush and his brother Jeb. If possible, Jeb's got an even more embarrassing past than Bush (which hasn't been dug up since he's not any sort of newsworthy public official, just governor of Florida) so they bypass him and go right for Dubya. They give him that $30-and change million, and bingo, instant puppet presidential candidate.
If you put an ad in the paper for an employee and a guy shows up who spent twenty years unemployed and partying, racked up at least three arrests, covers everything up for as long as humanly possible, was a massive failure in the business world, doesn't know what the job requires despite dozens of people telling him what it does, was proud about how many people he was personally responsible for executing, and would be a yes man for an oligarchy who will loot your company for all they possibly can, you'd be flipping to the next resume. Of course this couldn't happen in the real world. How would Bush read your classified ad in the first place?
There's a short term solution and a long term to the mess we're in. Long term is voting for the third party of your choice (hopefully Nader, but that's up to you). Short term is voting for anyone but Bush.
What to do: if you're in a swing state, you need to vote Gore. The big swing states are Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Ohio. Wisconsin is also close. If you're in one of those states, vote Gore. Call your friends up and get them to vote Gore. Call your slacker friends and get them to vote for the first time. A long term third party advancement with a short term shaft is a hollow victory at best, Reagan II at worst.
If you're not in one of those swing states, vote your conscious. Hate to tell you, but one vote more or less when someone's leading by 5% nationally won't make a lick of difference. The good thing with that is, you're free to vote without the guilt of personally destroying the world (AKA: President Dubya). If you haven't been paying attention to the candidates, I highly recommend Nader. If you have been paying attention, I highly recommend Nader. It's the only possible upside to this toilet bowl of an election.
If you're still not voting, I completely understand. A vending machine with just sesame paste and chutney popcorn does not make anyone want to use it. You're as bad as someone who votes for Bush willingly, but I completely understand.