Let me explain. I�m here in Kuala Lumpur, capital of Malaysia, on a school trip: Doing Business in Southeast Asia. It wasn�t a cheap trip, but it was an experience I couldn�t pass up. We�ve just been to Hong Kong for a few days of meeting with local businesses, and we�re about to go to Singapore for a few days of meeting with local businesses.
I play a little game in these countries: if I suddenly woke up here, how long would it take to realize I�m not in America? In Hong Kong it might be a few hours: lots of Western stores and a general atmosphere like New York. In Singapore it�d be days (although I figure I�d be in Florida, since Singapore�s always 90 degrees and humid). In Malaysia, it�d be within the minute. Signs are in English but also in Malay, a language that uses our alphabet somehow only has one word that�s been borrowed for English, �amok�. The country is 60% Muslim, so most restaurants skip pork entirely. Malaysia makes its ow car, the Proton, which all look like old Toyotas.
We only have two full days here, excluding travel days. The morning of the first full day is in the hotel, with the speakers coming to us. We go to the in-hotel restaurant for a buffet lunch. We eat a lot of hotel buffet, which is a mix of safe western foods (non-pork sausage, bread, ice cream) and various Asian fare (fried rice, unpeeled shrimp, red beans as a dessert).
The first afternoon, we�re going to the Royal Selangor pewter factory for a tour. This ends up being a lot of fun, but not really on the mark business-wise, since this is a tour set up for elementary school field trips. Pictures show five-year-old girls doing it, not a gaggle of twenty-somethings in suits.
Before we get there, I ask our KL tour guide (locals just abbreviate the city�s name) about visiting Batu Caves. I was hoping for some info on the best way to get there, any costs, what to look for if I could get there. He immediately suggests that the whole bus could go if we got through this Royal Selangor stop quick. Neat!
Royal Selangor ends up taking the whole afternoon, ending with a leisurely visit to the in-house gift shop and then a even more leisurely tea reception. During the visit I talk to a few people about their interest level in the whole bus stopping by the caves. It varies. Some people love the idea. Some would rather just go to a bar. No one�s dressed for it.
While I was planning Batu Caves other people were planning the KL Tower, which has a revolving restaurant up top open for dinner. It was expensive (about $50 US) but it was my first time in a rooftop restaurant, and I get take plenty of pictures of KL�s Petronas Towers in the night sky, looking like two rockets about to lift off.
The second day, we get back in the bus to head to the IBM offices. This is just a service operation, so we�re not seeing any handware be assembled. In the afternoon the bus is giving a tour of KL. I get on the bus intercom and announce I�m taking a taxi to Batu Caves in the afternoon. I say a few things about the cave, all of which are wrong and thus not worth repeating, and say anyone who�s interested can come along with me. I feel bad that this means I�ll miss our guide�s bus tour of KL, but this is my only time to do this.
The guide then gets back on the mike, and kindly gives a bunch of correct information about Batu Caves. It�s a series of caves high on a clifside, about 15 KM outside the city. In 1892, it was developed into a shrine to Muguran, a Hindu deity. A huge staircase leads up into the cave, which millions of people climb every year. The rooms in the cave have numerous Hindu shrines inside them. A giant golden statue is the newest statue. A round trip by taxi should be 60 ringgits ($20 US).
Brendan, a second year on the trip, then asks the tour guide something I failed to: what time is the cave open until? Until 8:00 PM, which gives plenty of time for Batu Caves AND the bus tour. That becomes my new plan. But me talking about the trip has inspired five people to skip out on the bus tour nonetheless and go to Batu Caves for the afternoon.
I have lunch at the food court inside a local mall with Brendan and Mai, another student. The mall vendors are largely the same food stalls as found on the street, only in the implied safety of a building with air conditioning. I get a bowl of noodles and chicken for 5 RM, and a kiwi drink for 2 RM. The food�s not that good, just flavorless chicken noodle soup. But it�s authentic!
The afternoon bus trip takes us through a Malaysian war memorial, several mosques, and a popular spot for the ideal view of the Petronas towers. The first stop was at the Malaysian king�s palace. Kings are elected here, from amongst the sultans of the various states. Elected kings, huh. Like with England, the guards at the front gate are instructed to not move no matter how many annoying tourists get next to them for photos.
Back at the hotel after changing into casual clothing, the taxi drivers seem to have 80 ringgit set up as a flat fee for the Batu Caves round trip. There�s five of us going, and we (by which I mean people other than me) negotiate down to 60 per cab for the round trip, which includes them waiting for us while we�re in cave. There�s five us of on the trip: me, Brendan, Mai and the trip�s two professors. I�m taking my teachers caving!
Just before we leave, the other trip comes back. They�re very happy. The place is riddled with monkeys, which seems to be the big selling point. An eleventh guy took his own cab out there for a solo trip, and is also very happy. He says the golden statue is 140 feet tall. Must be a huge cave to fit that guy inside.
The taxi drive doesn�t take too long, and soon I can see the big cliffside rising from outside the city. The caves have got to be up in there. As we pass an Isuzu billboard, the giant golden statue comes into view, as big as the billboard it�s half a mile behind. This thing�s the size of the Statue of Liberty!
The entrance to Batu Caves is 272 steps, enough to be taller even than that 140-foot statue at its base. Inside the caves were Hindu temples. The three rows of steps were made at different times, so the steps aren�t competely parallel. From a brief glance around, we�re the only non-Hindus here. There�s no entry fee, just a parking lot and several shops and temples along the sides.
Our tour guide had recommended watching a video in a theater off to the side here. A temple to my left had a foot-washing station and a box office. I take off my shoes, wash my feet, and walk to the box office. The man behind the counter makes sure I took off my shoes, but says with gestures that the rest of the building is free. It�s full of very devotional Hindus, but no theater, and not a single person with a camera aside from me. There is some serious worship going on here, and I�m not looking to stomp around and be a dumb tourist. I walk around just enough to confirm there was no theater, and then come back to the others.
The theater is on the far side of the parking lot. 10 RM for a 15-minute show. We�re the only ones, so as soon as we sat down in the very nice seats in the small theater, the DVD title screen was clicked to play. The movie gives a little bit of insight into the history of the temple, but not much on why, or who this was built to, or why people hang bells from their back when they come here.
Here�s the relevant stuff: the temple is built for Muguran, the giant golden guy. The lance he holds was given to him by his mother Parvathi, who was consort of Lord Shiva. The lance was used to defeat demons. In this honor, the holiday of Thaipusam is celebrated around January every year. Over a million pilgrims visit this cave on that day, the most photogenic being those who perform bodily mortification. They run iron rods through both their cheeks, and hang weights off their backs with hooks. They claim their faith takes away the pain of this.
No one�s doing this stuff today: we�re a few weeks early for the festival. (Why is this in Malaysia and not India? Because two million Indians live in Malaysia.) There�s a hundred or so people here now, but in such a big place it looks vacant.
The steps facing us are daunting, and numbered #1 to #272. The skies are growing dark, so there�s extra motivation to climb them now. Once you get to the top, you�ll have a roof over your head.
Around step 30 I run into a monkey. He�s sitting on the center post, long tail hanging most of the way to the ground. Malaysia has lots of macaques. This is my first time in a monkey-riddled country. The returning trip said monkeys were everywhere. As I get close, my monkey jumped away into the greenery to the right. He joins another monkey, casually climbing around a painted iron fence, and I see no monkeys after that. Monkeys like daylight the best.
Around step 60 the floodlights around us kick on. It feels like one of the steps triggers it. Later, big green lights will illuminate the jungle around the top of the steps.
Around step 170 there is a locked turnoff on the left for Dark Cave. This staircase is so big there are side trips. This was a wild cave in the same system, locked so no one goes in there to make mischief or get himself hurt. A hotel magazine says guided tours are offered every month. With a little planning, maybe next time I could do it.
Brendan and I are climbing at the same pace. This isn�t a race, so we clear the final step at the same time. As soon as we do, the rain stops hitting us. The entrance frame exactly marks where the lip of the roof overhangs. We stick by the entrance and waited for the other three to make their way up the stairs. Everyone gets up without too much gasping for breath.
The cave is huge and tropical, with huge tufts of green overhanging from edges. Multi-ton stalactites hang from many locations. It nonetheless feels like an empty amusement park. There�s a cement floor, and metal banisters at midpoints to keep crowds only going one direction, and enough flood lights so you don�t notice the eroded holes in the ceiling. The stalactites too big to be removed for the cement have the cement poured around them. The bottom ten feet of the cave is painted in a red and yellow stripe, almost like the bottom of a ship, with �no stick� written in multiple languages. No incense sticks? No postings? No high sticking?
There is a man in a cloud of incense here. Brendan brought an offering of flowers and milk from the bottom, and so is blessed with a mark of red paint on his forehead. I didn�t go get a blessing myself, since I don�t know if it�s dependent on a gift. I also have no idea what the blessing means. I sure it�s a good thing, but I�m afraid there�d be a quiz on Muguran�s life.
More steps lead down from this entrance area, into a flat expanse that might be the biggest cave room I�ve ever been in. Easily a hundred feet from floor to ceiling. All the cement and railings and flood lights can�t hide this from being one enormous room. More steps lead up from this room, into a side chamber with the main temple. The eroded ceiling of this chamber is noticeable because the rain has started to come down, and is hitting only underneath the hole. A stray cat slinks around, staying clear of the rain. I look for more monkeys, but they�ve all clocked out.
This temple has a bell to be rung when you enter. People take their shoes off before entering. My politeness overwhelms my curiosity, so I don�t go into it. I can see it�s mostly standing and bowing before statues of ... someone.
Visiting at twilight has the bonus of seeing the bats leave. I don�t see where any of them nest, but look at any of the holes in the ceiling and you see a continuous trickle of little winged things fluttering out into the sky. Eat up those mosquitoes, guys, this is malaria country!
We descend back down the main stairs in a thickening rain. There are about 18 different entrances to this cave system, but I have several reasons to be OK with leaving now. First, we have taxis idling. Second, the rest of the group is in no inclination to poke around more holes. Third, I have no idea what further religious faux pas would be made by doing any of this. Fourth, it�s raining. Fifth, I have no lights or helmets, so anything that wasn�t pre-lit would be just a tease.
So we leave. It wasn�t anything like the caving I�m used to. Not cold, not dark, not muddy, not wet, not miserable, not even secular. But I wasn�t anywhere near home, so it was appropriate.