a rap about bags...sort of.
Tony Slattery: I was walkin' with my bag the other day, and my friend saw me with it and he said "hey" he said "hey hey hey heyheyheyhey" - he was really repetitive so I shot him.
from Scenes From A Hat - a prison nativity play
I can't transcribe this. Trust me, it's funny.
a rap about cooking
Tony Slattery: Cooking is a mad obsession so what's gonna happen now is a cookery lesson. It's where it's at, food's where it's been, I'm a pissed chef - I'd like a large gin.
Clive introducing Paul
Clive Anderson: Paul Merton, who's radiant shining face and cheery grin...we have yet to see.
during Film & Theatre Styles, in the style of Monty Python
Paul Merton: Yes, this is an ex-ham
sandwich! I took this sandwich away from this shop alone less than an hour ago-
Richard Kaplan: No!
Paul: Yes!
Richard: Say it isn't so!
Paul: I won't, this is an ex-ham sandwich!
