Tony Slattery and Chip Esten
(Tony's robbing Chip's bank)
Chip: ("counting money") Fifties...
Tony: Give me your Italian loafers, I like them. And the money, that's right, I remember.
Chip: ("hits the alarm") Ehhh.
Tony: Where did you make that noise from? I know your nervous, but just give me the money and stop breaking wind.
Chip: (holds up shoes) Just don't shoot me, mister, just dont shoot me! (Tony sniffs the shoes and falls to the floor)
Biblical Epic
Chip: Bow before the shoes before you. You are a young man, you will have 15 sons and name them Seth.
Tony: This other commandment, the 15th....thou shalt always have odor-eaters.
Chip: ...it's more of a guideline than a commandment.
Shakespeare
Tony: Guidelines, my liege? You point your Italian brogues at me forsooth. A clever pretty non-funny comedian you are. With a pointy hat. Money! The blues and dockets, now.
Chip: Speak thou to me of funny! Thou speaketh to me in a language I dost not understand!
Tony: What was that last word?
Amateur Dramatics
(Chip raises his hands and waves, Tony shifts about restlessly)
Tony: Stay there! I want the money now. (walks like a robot over to Chip)
Chip: Don't shoot! (sidles around Tony)
Tony: Quick! (changes positions with Chip) The..get away car.
Western
(Tony "twirls his guns" quickly) (Chip stands there "smoking a cigarette")
Chip: Pretty fancin shootin'.
Tony: Pretty fancin shootin'? What kinda bank are you?
Chip: I dunno, you're behind the counter!