Happy Valentine's Day! Flowers, candy, dancing and passion--someone special in your arms. Except if there isn't someone special right now...or if your some special is with his or her primary partner tonight. Then it can be a real downer.

     Single and no love partner at present? Don't let all the cards, gift items and dreamy looks you see around you bring you down. Let it instead motivate you to be looking for that certain person or couple who may already be looking for you. Your life mate is out there- -not just one but many possible "right" ones. There are books on how to look, audio/video tapes and seminars. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) is one excelent tool for this. It is a way to deeply understand how another person thinks and communicates, what is important to them. It ranges from mirroring words and gestures to get a potential date to notice you at a party to saying the right things and being the right person for your chosen life mate to want to marry. NLP is not a way to manipulate another person or to give up being yourself. It's a way to deeply communicate with a potential special someone, to fully understand that other person, decide if this is Mr or Miss Right, and be happy together if it is. It works. .
     How to Make a Man Fall in Love is good. It's actually sugar coated NLP, though does give some excellent specifics for using the technique in relationships. The converse book for men appears to be out of print, though there are likely others out there. For those who want to take their NLP straight or for additional info, Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins is available in tape or book form. It's better on tape as the way you say things is at least as important as what you say. Tony's Live with Passion tape set has some excellent suggestions for maintaining the delicious relationship you have now started. Live training is best--Gregory Mitchell will provide some at February's Live the Dream meeting is good source for that and can be reached thru Success Center--800-GOAL NOW (462-5669)

     Here are a few hints. Does your date(or this person you'd like to date) use words like "I see." It looks good to me." ? When you ask a question, does (s)he look up before answering? This person is probably a visual. Make a date to see the sunset together.
     Words like "I hear you." "Just listen to me." and looking to the side before speaking tell you you're dealing with an audio. Make a date to listen to a concert together. "It's got to feel right." "Let's get in touch." and looking down before speaking tell you this kinesthetic might enjoy an ethnic place where soft comfortable cushions are provided to recline on.

     If you do all this or even a good part of it, you'll be too busy solving the lonliness problem to wallow in it. Soon you'll have your arms around the delightful solution.

     We couples who are looking for a third or for another couple, are not having to deal with the lonliness problems of a single person in this situation. We've got eachother to be romantic with. Even so, this may be a good time for courting that special person you are both interested in. Don't make the mistake of figuring this day is just for you and your mate. A possible third in your relationship is going to look ahead and see many such "special" couple times creating lonliness and feelings of being excluded in the future. If this person is truly important to you, include him or her in.
     If she's a lady, the gentleman should get flowers and special gifts for both (different ones) and take them to dinner together. Show her that old fashioned romance need not be lost in this new style relationship. If the possible third is a male, the male member of the couple should include him in planning and implementing a romantic evening for your lady love. He may not offer, feeling awkward about intruding. You'll most likely have to ask him to join you and even pursuade him that he is not a third wheel. NLP can be useful for this sort of thing, too. It will be worth the trouble if your Dream is a triad or even a triad as a starting point for a larger group marriage. This is true even if the relationship is going to stay a non residential one. Being inclusive rather than exclusive will definitely make your single lovers feel cared for and cherished at a time which could be more difficult for them than for you.