Live the Dream - June

Unless otherwise noted, all events are at 8515 Penfield in Winnetka, directions on last page.
For all events: RSVP the LTD Hotline, 818-886-0069.

at Saratoga Springs Retreat Center in Northern California. It is a private, clothing optional retreat and natural spring located in a gorgeous box canyon with 250 beautiful acres and can hold up to 200 people. Info is on the web at www.lovemore.com or call 303-543-7540 for details. We will be presenting here too!

Terry will lead a Poly Mixer on Thursday evening, 10:15 � 11:15 PM.

Find out who here is single and looking for a primary partner, which couples are seeking another partner, which triads are seeking a fourth, etc. Are they into SF? Pagan? B&D? This is a great opportunity to connect with people new to this conference and to find out what�s been happening in the lives of special friends you may not have seen in years. You�ll be able to plan time for deeper connections throughout this four days of poly delight!

Led by Terry and Paul Brussel Gibbons.

Bio: Terry Brussel-Gibbons, Paul Brussel Gibbons, Marcus Brussel Jenkins, and Laura Brussel Fiechter are the coordinators of Live the Dream. Terry & Paul have given presentations on alternative ways of loving since 1978 for Family Synergy, Elysium, Lifestyles, Loving More and numerous science fiction conventions. Marcus and Laura have joined them in these since handfasting with them. Terry has had many articles published in singles/poly oriented magazines and newspapers. Professionally, Terry is a hypnotherapist and a 4th generation matchmaker. For these services, she can be reached at 800 GOAL NOW (462-5669) or 800 LIFE MATE(S) (543-3628), for both polys and straights. See www.acesuccess.com. Terry does hypnosis sessions and life style counseling, by phone as well as in person. Now in a four way group marriage, both Terry and Paul have lived a life style of open, committed relationships since their late teens. Terry & Paul will also be on the Polyamory for Life: Questions and Answers from Long-Term Polys panel, Friday, June 2, 3:45-6:15PM.

Just what is the Burning Man Festival and why is this fantastic event for the Polyamorous? Burning Man is a week long celebration of SELF-expression through Art of any kind: Sculpture, Music, Costumes, Poetry, Dance or performances of any/every kind can be found around the clock! Burning Man is VERY Poly friendly, with many Poly specific camps that run such daily events as the Poly High Tea, Human CarCASS Wash and more! Info: www.burningman.com. This year�s theme, �Hope and Fear: THE FUTURE�, is very appropriate for those interested in alternate relationship lifestyles & what the Future holds for us.

There are few other places on Earth where people are totally accepting of ALL lifestyles. The openly Gay, BDSM, Pagan, Nudist, Poly, and Born Again Christian (nothing like seeing a Born again couple congratulating a gay triad�s nuptials!) all co-exist in this near Utopian environment. Families (with or without children) may be present as a couple, triad, group marriage (I was present for an Octal wedding in 2001!), Tribe or singles. We will discuss the open, accepting society that exists one week each year here in the Black Rock Desert and how YOU can be a part of this.

Pot luck lunch at 1pm, call LTD hotline to RSVP. If time permits, we may show one of the Burning Man Documentaries: Dust Devils; Beyond Black Rock or ???

Polyamorous Meet Point - Sunday Morning at 11 am. Join us for Bagels, Cream cheese, Fruit, and a chance to connect with like-minded people.

Were you inspired by the Line Marriage from MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS, warmed by the Nest in STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND, fascinated by the even more unusual group marriages/empathic groupings in Spider Robinson�s STAR DANCE and CALLAHAN stories? Dreams can come true. This get-together is for those already into multiply committed relationships and those who want to learn more about them. People like us do not exist only in SF books! Come meet some kindred spirits. We'll share our experiences in real triads, group houses, open marriages, etc.

LOCATION: Ask hotel registration desk for room number of Live the Dream or see note in WesterCon Newsletter.

Note: We�ll be doing something similar at WorldCon August 23-27 at the Anaheim Convention Center and the Anaheim Hilton & Marriott Hotels - more to follow in next News letter.

Leo Carrillo State Beach in Malibu. Tent or Van camping is available. You are welcome to just join us for the day Saturday or Sunday, but do let us know at least a couple of days ahead of time if we are to expect and meet up with you. Cell phone # to reach us at this event only is 818-388-5612. Forest and sea meet beautifully at this enchanting location.

We�ll spend Saturday enjoying the beach and swimming in the ocean. There will be a marshmallow roast, moon lit walk by the water and an evening swim Saturday night. Sunday we will do brunch at Paradise Cove, a delightful restaurant with a great salad bar, fresh sea food, an ocean view and its own unusual beach! Prices are reasonable. We�ll spend some time enjoying a walk and the scenery after brunch.

Cost for camping: $25 for the 1st person in car + $18 each additional person in same car if check is received by July 15th, $35 for 1st person in car + $25 for each additional person rates apply at campsite.

Send check made out to Success Center � 8515 Penfield Ave, Winnetka, CA 91306, or call to put it on a credit card. Saturday night dinner, marshmallows and camping fees for Friday and Saturday nights are provided by LTD. All other meals are bring your own food.

In May of 2000 Paul and I had a Synergy gathering at our home, the first one we've had there in years. Marcus Jenkins attended that meeting. He sat in the hot tub telling us stories about his life which sounded vaguely familiar. The children he raised were those we had been hearing about for years from one of our water brothers who had been his co-husband when the girls were young. Our water brother had stayed in their lives over the years. One of his daughters lived with her boy friend in the group home of Mark Merlino and Rodney O'Reily who have given LTD many meetings on group living over the years. How did we avoid meeting this man sooner? We should have tripped over him!

We had him over for dinner, shared outings to romantic restaurants, filk (science fiction folk singing) conventions and story telling events. Marcus mostly did things with both of us in the evenings and on weekends, though he and I did do lunches together by ourselves during the week several times. He was there for me a couple of times when I was down for one reason or another and helped cheer me with his very off beat sense of humor and his caring. He and Paul talked about computers and photography. We spent time together in bed and out. We watched Star Trek and Babylon 5. He got to know my daughter and started teaching art to my granddaughter. We discussed our dreams, our political opinions, who should do what chores, and what we wanted from our relationships.

Marcus and our housemate/water brother of five years, Carl, made connection, learned about each other, and worked out how they could live in the same house together. Though Carl is not romantically involved with us, he is part of our family. We all shared Water. See Stranger in a Strange Land. Briefly, it is a commitment to be family-by-choice on a permanent basis, whatever evolutions your relationship may go through.

My Dad had been with Paul and I when Marcus came into our lives. There was not really room for another person to have his own room. My Dad decided to go back to his estranged wife at the beginning of that year. When my Dad moved out, Marcus moved in. Shortly afterward, we decided to be handfasted and chose rings together.

When a third person joins an already existing couple (a legally married one in this case), how the first commitment compares with the new one must be considered and discussed. Complete equality may or may not be possible, depending on the emotions of all involved. Being in triads before we've learned what works and a lot about what doesn't, though there will be plenty more chances for such learning in the future of this relationship.

Shortly after Marcus moved in, he attended an annually held weekend birthday party with Paul and I for one of our Water Brothers in the science fiction community (Kathy Marr�s in the Bay Area). For the first time, we were presenting ourselves as a committed triad before our friends and family-by-choice. Afterwards, we stayed in a hotel room together, also for the first time, and actually registered as a triad! The hotel, which usually did not allow three in a room, saw matching gold rings on three hands and accepted it. Before our formal handfasting, we started to work out the finances of who pays for what on trips, in restaurants and when the washing machine needs repair. There are lots of details which may not come up while dating (or not seem important enough to deal with if the relationship may be only part time or short lived) which suddenly matter when you are putting your lives together for the long haul. In many ways it is the same as when two people decide to be married. Differences lie in the greater complexity of relationships to be worked out including who leads in what circumstances, which kinds of outing and activities do two or three of you go to together, and who sleeps in themiddle. It can be fascinating and frustrating, especially during the shakedown. The delight is worth the hassle. It's part of who we are and what we want from life.

*** 2006 Addendum ***

Will Jarvis (science fiction and lifestyles writer) became part of our household when we moved to our bigger home on Penfield in the west San Fernando Valley 3-03. My father is again living with us at this writing (5-06) Our triad became a quadrad as Laura Fiechter joined us in a formal handfasting Thanksgiving Weekend 2005 at LosCon. She, too, wears the white gold and sapphire ring of what is now Clan Brussel. Laura lives in our home and has her own room and bath. We are again experiencing that frustrating, fascinating shakedown as we fit ourselves together for the long haul.

Sleeping arrangements are fluid though the four of us frequently sleep together in our big bed in the master bedroom which has its own Jacuzzi (in addition to the much larger outdoor one). Both master bed room and living room have fire places�cozy and romantic.

We are Living the Dream!!!

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