How to Expand a Group Marriage
Saturday, January 21st, 11am to 4pm
NOTE: this is the correct date — not 1-16-06.

The triad of Marcus, Terry and Paul has added Laura Fiechter (see Thanksgiving event). Though her background was as far from alternative life styles as one could get, Laura has not only bonded with our triad, but with every member of our household through shared interests and a willingness to communicate.

We will talk about what is involved in joining a group house and expanding an existing group marriage-- what works and what doesn't in every area from chore distribution to sleeping arrangements. Courtship Rite by Donald Kingsbury as well as Heinlein's Time Enough for Love and Moon is a Harsh Mistress explored these topics. We'll see how what's in SF like this relates to the real life situation.

Pot luck lunch at 1pm – bring something delicious and healthy to share.
Afternoon activity: Talk and touch for growing closer + hot tubbing.

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Spider Robinson’s Poly Primers
Saturday, February 18th, 11am to 4pm

Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon introduces a group of people who support each other in handling their problems and celebrating their joys.

In this and later books they go beyond this to actual group telepathic communication.

In Callahan’s Keys they show their commitment to each other by all moving out-of-state together when local laws and the abuse of them prevented them from meeting together where they were. According to Spider’s biographical material, many of the metaphysical as well as the group related experiences come from his real life ones with his expanded family and close friends in ‘60s in Haight-Ashbury..

The Lady Callahan books are definitely Poly as committed couples share their partners’ with customers of this high class brothel/international diplomacy center. The “artists” who work there have relationships with the Lady herself, other artists, etc. Lady Callahan’s place could itself be considered a group house.

Spider’s Star Dance series features very unusually configured group marriages—eventually to include the whole human race past, present and future. Spider has written many other stories with incidental Poly themes. How can we use this information in our own group living and multiple committed relationship efforts?

Pot Luck lunch — bring something healthy and delicious to share.
Afternoon activity: Socializing, hot tubbing.

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Valentine’s Day — Good. Better. Fantastic!

A good Valentine’s Day might be going out with your lover to a nice restaurant with romantic music. Let’s call that (on a scale of -10 for awful and +10 for Wonderful) a 7. What would it take to make this an 8 for you? His bringing you a dozen roses might do it, but he might not know that.

What can you control which could make it even better? A new dress or perfume may make you feel even sexier for him and for you. The man in this society traditionally has a few more choices than the woman in planning an evening he is expected to pay for, but a lady can let him plan dinner then surprise him with tickets to the play they have both been wanting to see or that big sports event (not too much of a surprise if dinner reservations are to get you there by show or game time). If this person is your life partner, perhaps you might tell him the sorts of things which make a good thing great for you and find out what it takes to do that for him or her, too.

If you have more than one special person in your life, find it out for each of them. Based on this information, you could create a Valentine’s Day party or outing for each of these special people or one that would be a pleasure for all of you together if your Delights are similar enough for this to work. This works if you are single, too, whether you use the personals or go through those phone numbers of interesting people you have been meaning to contact. Which of the friends you could start a romance with would you pick to be with on a special holiday? The one who just went out of his way to find out what it takes to give you an evening of delight or one who just takes you somewhere decent for dinner? The lady who has planned a meal of all the foods you love made by her loving hands with your favorite music playing in the background or the one who is just waiting for you to ask her out? You could be the source of joy for one or more special loves—and have the best time ever as a result of it.

We couples, who are looking for a third or for another couple, do not have to deal with the loneliness problems of a single person in this situation. We've got each other to be romantic with. Even so, this may be a good time for courting that special person you are both interested in. Don't make the mistake of figuring this day is just for you and your mate. A possible third in your relationship is going to look ahead and see many such "special" couple times creating loneliness and feelings of being excluded in the future. If this person is truly important to you, include him or her in.

If she's a lady, the gentleman should get flowers and special gifts for both (different ones) and take them to dinner together. Show her that old fashioned romance need not be lost in this new style relationship. If the possible third is a male, the male member of the couple should include him in planning and implementing a romantic evening for your lady love. He may not offer, feeling awkward about intruding. You'll most likely have to ask him to join you and even persuade him that he is not a third wheel. NLP can be useful for this sort of thing, too.

It will be worth the trouble if your Dream is a triad or even a triad as a starting point for a larger group marriage. This is true even if the relationship is going to stay a non residential one. Being inclusive rather than exclusive will definitely make your single lovers feel cared for and cherished at a time which could be more difficult for them than for you.

Now he picks you up for dinner with a dozen roses in his hand, takes you to your favorite restaurant where your other lover or that special couple you both care for are waiting.

All of you enjoy a buffet of the foods you like best. The play you get to in plenty of time after a leisurely dinner is the kind which encourages a return home for passionate lovin’. Does this qualify as a +10? If not, the possibilities are endless…

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WHAT EXPERIENCES, BOOK REVIEWS, ETC, CAN YOU SHARE RELATING TO THE POLY LIFESTYLE?
KNOW OF ANY OTHER POLY RELATED EVENTS?
LET US KNOW ABOUT THEM!

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Where jacuzzi is mentioned, bring towel and sandals. Jacuzzi is clothing optional.