Valentine Day for Singles,
Dyads and Triads
Happy Valentine's Day! Flowers, candy, dancing
and passion-- someone special in your arms. Except if there isn't
someone special right now...or if your some special is with his
or her primary partner tonight. Then it can be a real downer.
We couples who are looking for a third or for another couple,
do not have to deal with the loneliness problems of a single person
in this situation. We've got each other to be romantic with. For
couples, this may be a good time for courting that special person
you are both interested in. Don't make the mistake of figuring
this day is just for you and your mate. A possible third in your
relationship is going to look ahead and see many such "special"
couple times creating loneliness and feelings of being excluded
in the future. If this person is truly important to you, include
him or her in. If she's a lady, the gentleman should get flowers
and special gifts for both her and his wife (different ones) and
take them to dinner together. Show the single lady you are courting
that old fashioned romance need not be lost in this new style
relationship. If the possible third is a male, the male member
of the couple should include him in planning and implementing
a romantic evening for your ladylove. He may not offer, feeling
awkward about intruding.
You, the male member of the couple, will most likely have to
ask him to join you and even persuade him that he is not a third
wheel. NLP can be useful for this sort of thing.
It will be worth the trouble if your Dream is a triad or even
a triad as a starting point for a larger group marriage. Even
if the relationship is going to stay a non residential one, being
inclusive rather than exclusive will definitely make your single
lovers feel cared for and cherished at a time which could be more
difficult for them than for you.
If you are a couple, the men can plan something special for the
ladies together a good male bonding experience leading to a lovely
couples bonding one. It's easy to fall into old patterns here.
Don't. Do change places and be romantic with both ladies during
dinner rather than focusing on either exclusively. Don't worry
about freaking the waitress - - she's not your date. Dance with
both ladies too, if that is part of your evening.
Single and no love partner at present? Don't let the cards, gift
items and dreamy looks you see around you bring you down. Let
it instead motivate you to be looking for that certain person,
couple or group who may already be looking for you. There are
books on how to look, audio/video tapes and seminars. How to Make
a Man Fall in Love is good. It's actually sugarcoated NLP, though
it does give some excellent specifics for using the techniques
in relationships. The converse book for men appears to be out
of print, though there are likely others out there.
For those who want to take their NLP straight or for additional
info, Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins is available on tape or
in book form. It's better on tape as the way you say things is
at least as important as what you say.
What's NLP? Neuro Linguistic Programming is a way to deeply understand
how another person thinks and communicates what is important to
them. It ranges from mirroring words and gestures to getting a
potential date to notice you at a party to saying the right things
and being the right person for your chosen life mate(s) to want
to be with them permanently.
It's not a way to manipulate another person or to give up being
yourself. It's a way to deeply communicate with potential special
people, to fully understand them, decide if you want to grow closer,
be happy together and if you decide to be in a lasting relationship.
Here are a few hints. Does your date (or this person you'd like
to date) use words like "I see, "It looks good to me?"
When you ask a question, does (s)he look up before answering?
This person is probably a visual. Make a date to see the sunset
together. Words like "I hear you." "Just listen
to me." And looking to the side before speaking tell you
you're dealing with an audio. Make a date to listen to a concert
together. "It's got to feel right." "Let's get
in touch." and looking down before speaking tell you this
kinesthetic might enjoy an ethnic place where soft comfortable
cushions are provided to recline on. This is obviously over simplified.
Personal instruction is also useful. Feel free to call me for
more information at my office (800) GOAL NOW (462-5669).
Have a warm, sexy, delicious Valentine's Day with your special
loves!
