Marisa: Can you keep a secret?
Caroline: Of course.
Marisa: Good. So can I. -from maid in manhattan

Jerry Siegel: What press are you affiliated with?
Ty: I'm 10.
Jerry Siegel: What about your parents, are they Democrat or Republican?
Ty: What's the difference these days?
Christopher: I love this kid.
Jerry Siegel: What's not to love. -from maid in manhattan

Christopher: Do I look as stupid as you think I am?
Jerry Siegel: No. No, I mean, you're not stupid. What, what are you talking about? -from maid in manhattan

Eddie: This Saturday evening there's a party at Brenner hall, a gathering. I was wondering if you would like to accompany me?
Paige: Accompany you?
Eddie: Oh, right, yes, how do you say it colloquially? Um, yo dog, there's a party kicking at my crib if you want to roll down there with me.
Paige: That was just sad, don't ever do that again. -from the prince & me

Andie: Our love fern! You let it die!
Ben: No, honey, its just sleeping. -from how to lose a guy in 10 days

[Molly is dancing in the park]
Ray: Act your age, not your shoe size. -from uptown girls

Crutchy: Jack, when I walk, does it look like I'm fakin' it?
Jack Kelly: Nah, Crutchy, who says ye'r fakin' it?
Crutchy: I don't know... It's just there's so many fake crips on the streets today, a real crip ain't got a chance. I gotta find me a new sellin' spot where they ain't used to seein' me!
Mush: [singing] Try Bottle Alley or da harbor.
Racetrack: [singing] Try Central Park, it's guaranteed.
Jack Kelly: [singing] Try any banker, bum, or barber.
Skittery: [singing] They almost all knows how to read. -from newsies

Racetrack: Deah me, what is dat unpleasant aroma? I fear da sewer may have backed up durin' da night.-from newsies

Jack Kelly: There's a lot of people out there, and they ain't just gonna go away. They got voices now and they're goin' to be listened to. Putting them in jail is not going to stop them. That's the power of the press, Joe. So thanks for teaching me about it.
Seitz: Those kids put out a pretty good paper there, Chief.
Joseph Pulitzer: I ordered a printing ban on all strike matters. Now, who defied me? Whose press did you use to print this on? Whose?
Jack Kelly: Well, we only use the best, Joe. So, I just want to say... thanks again. -from newsies

Pulitzer: Now when I created the World... -from newsies

David Jacobs: My father taught us not to lie.
Jack Kelly: Well, mine told me not to starve; so we both have an education. -from newsies

Jack Kelly: You only took 20 papes; why?
David Jacobs: It's a bad headline.
Jack Kelly: Well, dat's da foist thing ya gotta learn - headlines don't sell papes. Newsies sell papes. -from newsies

Spot Conlon: Your honor, I object.
Judge Monahan: On what grounds?
Spot Conlon: On the grounds of Brooklyn, your honor -from newsies

Racetrack: Look at me, I'm the King Of New York! -from newsies

Mush: Howd'ya sleep, Jack?
Jack Kelly: On me back, Mush. -from newsies

David Jacobs: Why'd ya come back?
Jack Kelly: Well, I guess I can't be somethin' I ain't.
David Jacobs: What, a scab?
Jack Kelly: No, smart. -from newsies

Roy: Mr. Vail, will you tell Ms. Vandable, that I'm sorry about her neck.
[Martin walks away and comes back realizing what Aaron said]
Marty: You said you don't remember, that you black out, so how do you know about her neck?
Roy: [Aaron pauses and stammers, then starts clapping] Well... good for you.... Martin. You was looking so happy right now, I was thinking "hmmmm'? But I'm glad you figured it because I have been dyin' to tell ya! I just didn't know you wanted to hear it from, Aaron or Roy or Roy or Aaron. Well I'll let you on a lil' secret, a kind of client attorney kind of secret. It don't matter who you hear it from its the same story! I ju- I just had to kill Linda, Mr. Vail, that cunt just got what she deserved. But... cuttin' up that Rushman? That was just a fuckin' work of art!
[Laughs]
Marty: You are good, you are really good.
Roy: Yeah I did get caught though didn't I?
Marty: So there never was a Roy?
Roy: Marty if thats what you thought, I'm disappointed I don't mind saying. There never was an Aaron, counselor. -Primal Fear

NS5 Robots: [Jumps on car and tries to steer car out of control] You are experiencing a car accident.

-from IRobot Detective Del Spooner: You have got to be the dumbest smart person I have ever met.
Susan Calvin: And YOU have got to be the dumbest DUMB person I have ever met.

Detective Del Spooner: First of all, stop cussing cause you're not good at it. -from IRobot

Farber: Yo, Spoon, she just shot at you with her eyes closed!
Detective Del Spooner: [to Calvin] Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?
Susan Calvin: Well, it worked, didn't it?-from IRobot

Susan Calvin: [looks at Spooner's present-day CD stereo] Play. On... Run?
[turns on CD playter by hand, music plays]
Susan Calvin: [panicking] Uhh... End Program. Shutdown!
Detective Del Spooner: [clicks remote, stereo off] Doesn't feel good, does it? People's stuff malfunctioning around you! -from IRobot

Detective Del Spooner: [to Dr. Lanning's cat] Look, I understand you have experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. I mean, you're a cat. I'm black. I'm not going to be hurt again. -from IRobot

Detective Del Spooner: Somehow "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it. -from IRobot

"Cole Sear: Tell me a story about why you're sad.
Malcolm Crowe: Do you think I'm sad?
[Cole nods]
Malcolm Crowe: What makes you think that?
Cole Sear: Your eyes told me. " ~ From The Sixth Sense

"[after DaVinci opens a locked door by removing the pins from the hinges]
Louise: Why, that was pure genius!
Leonardo da Vinci: Yes, I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door!"~ from Ever After

"Henry: You swim alone, climb rocks, rescue servants, is there anything you don't do?
Danielle: FLY!" ~from Ever After

"Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?
Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain." ~from A Walk to Remember

"Landon: You don't care what people think about you?
Jamie: No." ~from A Walk to Remember

Jamie: How can you see places like this... and have moments like this and not believe?
Landon: You're lucky to be so sure.
Jamie: It's like the wind. I can't... see it, but I feel it. -from A Walk To Remember

"Dory: I saw a boat.
Marlin: You did?
Dory: Yeah, it went by not too long ago. Follow me.
[few seconds later]
Dory: Would you quit it? What, the ocean isnt big enough for you or something like that? You got a problem? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya? You wanna piece of me? Yeah, yeah! Ooh, I'm scared now! What?
Marlin: What? You said you saw a boat.
Dory: A boat?
Marlin: YES.
Dory: Hey, I've seen a boat. It went by not too long ago. It went... this way. It went this way.
Marlin: Wait a minute, you already told me which way the boat went.
Dory: I did? Oh, no... I'm sorry... you see I have a short term memory problem, I forget things almost instantly. It runs in my family...or at least...I , I think it does....hmmm... where are they...?" ~Finding Nemo

Benjamin Martin: Aim small, miss small. ~the Patriot

John Billings: I say we drink the wine, eat the dogs, and use the paper for musket lining.
Reverend Oliver: [alarmed] eat the dogs!
Benjamin Martin: [going along with Billings' joke] A dog is a fine meal.
Reverend Oliver: [still alarmed] G-G-Good Heavens!
[Billings and Martin laugh] ~The Patriot

Susan Martin: Papa! Papa please don't go. I say anything, just tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it. Papa please don't go! ~the Patriot

Pete: [to Tad] Like do you know she has six smiles? One when something really makes her laugh. One when she's making plans. One when she is laughing out of politeness. One when she is uncomfortable. One when she is making fun of herself. And one when... she's talking about her friends. ~Win A Date With Tad Hammelton

Angelica: Well you got to win her back.
Pete: Believe me I have tried everything.
Angelica: Well what did she say, when you told her you loved her?
Pete: Ok maybe not everything.
Angelica: How did she react, when you kissed her?
Pete: Ok, maybe only two things. ~Win A Date With Tad hammelton

Pete: [kisses Rosie] I love you, Rosie. I *always* have. If I've been a jerk this last week, it's because I've been fighting - I've been fighting for you. I don't want to lose you to Tad Hamilton, or anyone else. You're the one. ~Win A Date With Tad Hammelton

Luke Davenport: Online I'm a normal kid, just like everybody else.
Sam Simms: [Quietly] You ought to try that here.
Luke Davenport: What?
Sam Simms: I said, "Go to bed". And be careful out there in cyber space. Be careful what you tell people.
Luke Davenport: Okay! And stop telling me what to do. You're not my father.
Sam Simms: [Quietly] Lucky for me.
Luke Davenport: What?
Sam Simms: Nice PJs. They got feet on them, don't they? ~First Kid

Agent Dash: You guys suck.
Sam Simms: We suck, ya hear that Luke? We suck, alright, we suck! Let's make a sucky left turn here. ~first Kid

Luke Davenport: What are you doing?
Sam Simms: I'm doing my job, keepin' you alive, I'm testing your food.
Luke Davenport: But why do you always test my cookies? ~First Kid

Sam Simms: Don't just stand there. Say "Hello".
Luke Davenport: HELLO!
Sam Simms: Yeah, just make the girl go deaf. They love that. ~First Kid

Sam Simms: You know what's gonna happen if I let you go? Morton is gonna call me in. Then he's going to chew my butt off. I'll be sitting there and my butt's gonna get smaller and smaller and by the time I get up, my back is going to be on my thighs. Because I won't have no butt. You wouldn't want that to happen to me, would you? Of course you wouldn't. ~First Kid What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. ~Vilhjalmur Stefansson, 1964

~Sue Thomas FBeye~
(Sue Thomas FBeye has ended for good because of a unfortunate and sad fact that the media believes in the false idea that there isn't an audience for moral tv programs...)

Wes: Glad to see Jack�s surrounding himself with talent.
(To Sue after she sinks a shot playing pool)

Sue: I was married to Jack for a week. Nothing you can tell me will compare to the shock of that.
Jack: It was an undercover investigation!

Sue: I�ve learned a lot in spite of him.
Jack: Must be nice to have such a warm and fuzzy outlook on life.
Sue: That's just the kind of attitude I'd expect from a guy who goes to bars to meet women! (beat)
Jack: Our first fight?
Sue: Probably not our last.
Myles: I'm Einstein with a gun...Boston born, Harvard educated, S.W.A.T. trained...Myles Leland the Third. Now if you excuse me, I have a country to save.
Tara: Mohammad doesn�t look that big for a guy that works out all the time.
, what do you think a guy like that bench presses?
Jack: I don�t know, maybe around�
Sue: 300 pounds. I�ve seen him do it once. It was pretty impressive.
Jack: The guy bench pressed for you?

Myles: It seems Agent Sparky was attempting to bench press a considerable amount of weight. How much was it again, Bobby?
Bobby: I�m not sure, but 300 seems to ring a bell.
Tara: Ring a bell! Now that�
Bobby clamps his hand over her mouth.
Sue: 300 pounds? That seems like a lot.
Bobby: There�s a reason they call them dumbbells�

Sue: You know I was serious when I said some people think brains are really more attractive than muscles.
Jack: Oh, well, what if a person has both?
Sue: Then they�d be quite a catch, wouldn�t they?
Sue turns to leave. Levi groans.
Jack (to Levi) :What are you looking at? I am quite a catch.
Myles: Nothing like a double homicide to bring the family together.

Bobby: Call the Armani boutique. Jack Hudson, Esquire, here, is going to need some new suits.

Janice: (staring at Jack) Is he as nice as he is cute?
Sue: You think he's cute?
Janice: What are you, blind?
Sue: No, but I am deaf.

Jack and Sue kiss. Janice enters and turns on the light.
Janice: Sue? Mr. Buchanan?
Jack: Miss Clark!
Janice: What are you doing in here? Well, I can see what you�re doing in here.

Jack: You were really good back there. (Sue stares at him.) I mean, the deposition line.
Sue: Yeah you too. (They both look embarrassed.) With the deposition. That was quick thinking.
Jack: Good teamwork.
Sue: It�s all about teamwork.
Jack: You know that moment back there that was a response to a situation.
Sue: Very effective.
Jack: Cause I would never� Well I mean� I�
Sue: It certainly changes our cover story.
Jack: I don�t know, I don�t think it�s a big problem. Do you? Sue: No, probably just a few more looks around the water cooler.
Jack: Probably not the first time they�ve seen a boss/secretary thing. Sue: Probably not.
Sue drops her keys and they both reach for them, touching hands.
Sue: Well, I better get home. See how Levi and Lucy are kissing along� getting along. (Jack chuckles.) How they�re getting along.
Jack: Yeah, I�ll see you in the morning.

Tara: Firewall I can�t crack hasn�t been invented yet. Except the one I used which was invented by me.
Jack: You�re the best.
Jack hugs Tara. Sue and Janice enter the office.
Janice: Mr. Buchanan?
Jack: Janice. Hi.
Janice: Working late again, I see?
Jack: Sue, aren�t you and Janice supposed to be going out to dinner together?
Sue: We were, I mean we are.
Janice: I forget my cell phone and Ms. Kern is prone to calling me at all hours so we came back to get it. (to Sue) Certainly works the over time, doesn�t he?
Tara: Hi I�m Tara, just flew in from Milwaukee to surprise my hubby.
Janice: I see. Well, I hope you have a pleasant visit. Don�t work to hard. She glares at Jack as she exits.
Tara: Why do I get the feeling I missed something?
Jack: Office politics.
Jack: It was a good job while it lasted.
Sue: I�m sure your friend in Wisconsin will be glad to have his identity back.

Tara: I have a bone to pick with you, Mister. Seems you�ve been cheating on me. With one of my own friends, no less.
Sue: You talked to Janice.
Tara: So, any chance we can work this out? Or do I have to file for divorce?
Tara pretends to get teary.
Jack: Okay, now that you�ve had your fun is there any chance we can keep this on the down low?
Bobby: What? Keep the tabloid story of the century off the airwaves? Actually, we have a nice little office pool going. I say Sparky and Tara will weather the storm and stay together.
Dimitrius: Yeah, but the smart money�s on Sue, the home wrecker, landing her man.
Lucy: What did I miss? What are you guys talking about?
Bobby: Jack and Sue making out in the dragon lady�s office at Callahan and Merced.
Lucy: What!?
Jack: We weren�t� we� we weren�t making out.
D: You want to go under oath and say that? We have a reliable witness.
Sue: It was part of the undercover.
Lucy: So you were making out?
Jack: It wasn�t making out.
Bobby: What exactly was it?
Jack and Sue look to each other.
Jack: We�re late.
He leaves.
Tara: You can�t get away with this that easily, two-timer! I want justice!
Lucy: I want to hear every detail.
Sue leaves without answering.
Bobby: Woo hoo!

Sue: It was interesting to see the Jack Hudson that might have been. The young, successful attorney.
Jack: I like where I am. In this job, you never know what can happen. Jack signs.
Sue: True, never a dull moment. Well, it�s getting late.
Jack: Yeah, I should go.
Sue: Yeah, me too. Good night.
Sue heads for her door. Jack starts to follow her, then decides not to and leaves.
Sue: Jack�
By the time she says it, Jack is too far away to hear.

M*A*S*H
Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way. ~Colonel Potter

It's too big a world to be in competition with everyone. The only person who I have to be better than is myself. ~Colonel Potter

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~Colonel Potter

Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. ~Hawkeye

I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. ~Hawkeye

Sometimes I think it should be a rule of war that you have to see somebody up close and get to know him before you can shoot him. ~Colonel Potter

I will not carry a gun.... I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! ~Hawkeye

There are no friends in wartime. ~Frank Burns

You know, we've got to do it someday... throw away all the guns and invite all the jokers from the north and the south in here to a cocktail party... last man standing on his feet at the end wins the war. ~Hawkeye

If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy. ~Hawkeye

Anger turned inward is depression. Anger turned sideways is Hawkeye. ~Sidney Freedman

When you're wearing a green tuxedo, you dance where they tell you. ~Colonel Potter

Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same color clothing. ~Franks Burns

A faith of convenience is a hollow faith. ~Father Mulcahy

Your picture's in my wallet and I'm sitting on it. And if that isn't love, I don't know what is. ~Frank Burns

Unless we all conform, unless we follow our leaders blindly, there is no possible way we can remain free. ~Frank

"Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can't change rule number one." ~Henry Blake

"Frank, its after six, you can stop being snotty!" ~Col. Henry Blake

"I can take umbarge, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train. I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down!" ~Hawkeye Pierce

"I'm only paranoid because everyone is against me." ~Frank Burns

"I'd like to stay, but that would keep me from leaving."~Hawkeye Pierce

"I'd sooner share my toothbrush with a Democrat" ~Charles Emerson Winchester III

Trapper: "Frank, how would you like your lip to donate a pint of blood?"