Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If aeroplanes travel faster than the speed of light, if you walk along the plane are you walking faster than light?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going too?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Does Hawaiian Punch come from Hawaii?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Is bad a bad word?

Why is there not a Channel 1 on TV?

Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?

If your name is, Will and you are in the army, do you get worried when your commanding officer says, "fire at will"?

How come you can write in pencil on an eraser?

Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?

When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what�s the difference?

If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st � January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?

Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

Which way does a compass point in space?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be �under par� in any thing else?

How come popcorn isn't a vegetable?

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?

Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?

If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?

How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Practice makes perfect but no one is perfect so why practice?

When people say "Expect the unexpected," doesn't that mean the unexpected is expected?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If you ask someone if they're a compulsive liar and they answer yes, should you believe them?

If quitters never win and winners never quit who came up with "Quit while your ahead"?

Why is it that when something is sent in a car, it's called a shipment, yet when it's sent in a ship, it's called cargo?

How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If you pluck the wings off of a fly do you call it a walk?

If people from Poland are called Pols are people from Holland called holes?

If 90% of the people in the world dont have it, why do they call it common sense?

Why they report power outages on TV?

If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Why you park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?

What is on signmaker's signs when they go on strike?

Why are apartments called apartments when they are so close together?

Why the sunlight lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gillian's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why women can't put on mascara without closing their mouths?

Why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff,why didn't he just buy dinner?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why doctors call what they do "practice"?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on ...

Why you have to click on "start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavors and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why the man why invests all your money is called a "broker"?

Why there isn't a mouse-flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food for the "new and improved flavor"?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used to make the indestructible black box?

Why Sheep don't shrink when it rains?

If con is the opposite of pro...then is Congress the opposite of Progress?

Why do they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

Do you now wonder why you read this whole thing?