i.
it's a hollow that only goes down so far
and i know now
from the way i imagine life alone more then
a future with you
and it's not that i hate you
sometimes it's not that i care at all
but that i love me now
finally after you've urged me
and taught me to
and hated me for it
and don't think that it doesn't hurt
because it bleeds me like a tempest
ii.
someday
(and it always seems like
poems begin with someday)
i will disappear from your life
some day
i will echo inside of you
someday
you'll add me to the graveyard
of peole that you used to know
but never knew you didn't
someday
i won't even be an imprint on your heart
iii.
the silence in my mind
is beginning to match the one in my heart
it is chaos and peace
but more peace as time washes past
the bank of memory
locked into me like a song
i can feel my solitude finally.
i have planted the seeds,
i have sowed the soil
and my garden of self
is finally tangible