| If boredom sets in, go to KMart, Walmart or Target (your choice) and follow these simple instructions: |
| 1. Get bottles of laxitives and ramdomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 2-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the restroom. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an offical tone: "I think we have a Code in housewares" and see what happens. 5. Put M&M's on layaway. 6. Move "CAUTION - WET FLOORS" to carpeted areas. 7. Set up a tent in the camping area; tell others that you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 10. While handling the guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he/she knows where the anti-depressants are. 11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with different sized funnels. 13. Hide in the clothing racks, and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's the voices again!" 15. Go into the fitting foom and yell real loud, "Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!" |