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| This is Nick Johnson, nice. If you see him in the street give him a big hug from us then back of slowly without making eye contact. |
| Name : Nick Judy Johnson Age : 16 stone and counting Nick is the crawling imbodyment of crass consumerisum (Harrison's Bakery) many times has he forced himself to walk the long mile to the Garage to buy sweet sweet ice refreshments in midwinter. Remeber he is a winner who can be found online at 6am emailing Coxy (face it fat boy you've got no chance). For Future reference never let him get in control of anything as he will ruin it with his own brand of 'dictatorship lite' which is not pleasent. Warning : do not poke him he'll either pop or you'll never get yur arm back. Second Warning : do not look at him directly as you will be blinded by the light frosphoresing from his orange T-shirts, which is on a magnitute with that of the suns corona. |
| This is Tom he's lovely. If you see him in the street stroke him and he'll purr. |
| This is Graham, he's ok if you like that sort of thing. If you see him in the street throw some loose change at him and he'll go away. |
| This is Mel, if you see her in the street she will strip for a fiver. |
| This is Andy he likes the ladiez. If you see him in the street he will try to be your friend so RUN AWAY. |
| This is David, he is a mere mortal though you would not know it. If you see him in the street laugh and point. |
| This is Nick Styles, he is in a prog rock group and loves it so. If you see him in the street then he won't have died in a car crash or will have survived the chunk spurting episode. |
| This is John, he is very strange. If you see him in the street you are very likly to be in Japan or prison. |
| Name : Tom Jan Booth Age : 2 (mental age) I am large, Dutch, bouncy and cuddly, kind of like a Saint Bernard, but more hairy. I have the face........ of a lovable rouge, with a cheeky smile and blue sparkling eyes, which have bits that look like light reflecting off the bottom of a swimming pool. I also like my food just a little bit too much. I am currently in a PROG rock band with Nick Styles of P*enis Frogs fame. |
| Name : Graham William Paterson Age : 19 I am a hairy hetrosexual. I have no sense of smell. My ears are 12'' in circumference. AND i like marmite. I currently stuck out of a window in a drunken stuper, if anyone can help me i will be most grateful as i have not eaten in days, and cold baked beans from a tin don't last forever you know. In my youth I once entered a knobly knees compertition with my face, and to no-one surprise (you can tell where this joke is going) i won. My mum stopped me entering the arse crack compertition though (work it out for yourselves). |
| Name : Melissa Claire Revington Age : 18 Stuck up, pompus, bigheaded are all words which should not be used to describe this lady of the night. She has a heart of gold which she would sell if she did not need it to live. |
| Name : Andy William Roberts Age : 18 I am a lovable character with a cheeky smile, but this doesn't seem to attract the ladieeees, maybe that is because I had my two front teeth knocked out by a wayward potato in the Vegtable Shotput contest in the London village annual 'Vegetable Olympics'. I have not been able to afford to buy falsies as I have spent all my money on my unsuccessful business venture, 'Fat Chicks Strip for �2000 here!'. As of yet I have had no explaination for why I went out of business. |
| Name : David Edward Gareth Jones Age : 18.25 Salut, My name is David, I am a middle class white boy from the country getto. In my spare time I enjoy eating jam and talking to the toaster (he's called Toby) , who will one day try to gain ultimate power and control the world, so far I have managed to stop him but for how long... I was recently horrified to learn that the luminous orange dye which Nick uses to fasion all his cloths [ previously thought to be monkey speutum ] is actually extracted from my iris, disturbing indeed. |
| Name : Nick Adam Styles Age : indefatigable His name was Nick, Nick faster that lightning. Nick is in a Prog Rock Group and likes to tell this to everyone, he also has a death wish and superfluid superintellect resulting from him being fed cat food from birth (whiskers tuna chunks). His cat has run away and it makes him sad... Do not give him alcohol, if you have seen Gremlins you know what will happen...... |
| Name : John ('Juanita') Taylor Age : CLASSIFIED John is very quiet this is because he is a Master of the CLASSIFIED and has a hightened sense of CLASSIFIED. His Winky is CLASSIFIED which is impressive by anyone's standards. He will be found now at Cambridge University hideing from the Professers who hunt him down after that terrible incident with the CLASSIFIED and the CLASSIFIED. |
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| Feel free to go mad now we all have. |