By
Anam
March
2006
Adult
for M/M slash.
A
drama/romance featuring Benny and Classic Ray.
Disclaimer:
Please
E-mail me at: [email protected]
“The road to a friend’s house is never
long.”
-Danish
proverb
Ever
since he was a child Ray Vecchio had always been extra sensitive to the cold.
Snow, sleet, ice cubes, igloos, pudding pops – whatever it was, if it was cold
Ray was surely bound to hate it. Ray was a warm-blooded creature happy only when
baking in the hot summers of
Now,
staring at Fraser’s back, Ray felt like he was in the coldest place in the
universe. He was following the Mountie through a snowstorm.
They
had both decided to make another attempt to repair Fraser’s cabin. It was an
unspoken need between them for a long time after the
Ray
released a long, heavy sigh of hopelessness as he marched through knee-deep
snow. They were lucky to have their plane land in one piece, but the rental
jeep they were driving had broken down in the middle of nowhere. After an hour
of trying to resuscitate the dead jeep they had no choice but to trek to the
nearest shelter they could find before sundown.
And
that’s when it really started to snow.
Ray
spent several minutes purging himself of his frustrations by shouting
obscenities at every snowflake that fell to the ground, but Fraser remained
steadfast and optimistic, assuring Ray that he knew of a grand old cabin nearby
that had once belonged to one of his father’s closest mates. The mate was
Sergeant Jackson, a seasoned member of the RCMP who was known more for his
wild, libidinous exploits than for his courageous deeds as a Mountie. The man
was obviously a legend even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
Ray
felt a small glimmer of hope when hearing Fraser’s story of the old Mountie and
his cabin. Maybe the swinging Canadian had more concern for comfortable living
conditions than the Fraser clan ever did, for all Ray wanted right now was a
roof over his head and a warm, crackling fire at his feet. But the walk to the
elusive cabin seemed endless and soon every bush and thicket became a wavering
mirage of a refuge against the bitter cold. Ray actually prayed for the empty
husk of their downed plane from last year to miraculously reappear. At least
they could use that for shelter.
Ray
would’ve laughed at the irony of their situation, but his feet were numb.
“Benny!
I’m freezing! Are we there yet?”
“We
have only a few more miles to go, Ray.”
“But
that’s what you said the last time!”
“Because
that’s what you asked the last time.”
Fraser
kept his head down concentrating on the small compass in his hands. Blowing
snow whirled all around him, making Fraser look like a tragic hero in Doctor
Zhivago. Ray stumbled after him, an ignorant city slicker prone to frostbite
and complaining. Diefenbaker followed his two pack mates faithfully, bringing
up the rear of this unlucky lot.
“Where
are we heading, Fraser?”
“We
are heading north--"
“--into
the belly of the beast,” Ray grumbled sarcastically to himself as he roughly
brushed snow off his nose.
“Now
that’s just silly, Ray.”
“You
know what’s silly? The both of us in the middle of nowhere! There seems to be a
greater power working against us, Benny, and I swear it doesn’t want us to fix
that cabin of yours! Yet here we are fighting that greater power again, hoping
that some day we’ll reach your cabin without dying in the process! And you know
what’s really pathetic? We’re just crazy enough to die for it!”
“You
know, Ray, my father once said that a life without challenges isn’t a life
worth living.”
“I
think you should tell your father I’m just no longer up for it, Benny. All
these challenges that keep coming my way, I swear I’m no longer up for them.”
Ray
said these words with the sadness and exhaustion of a city cop who has seen too
much and felt too much. It was that core of pain he couldn’t openly express to
Benny after shooting a bullet into him, after enduring every hit and blow to
their friendship, and after the devastating impact of Victoria, then Frankie
and Irene.
Ray
startled himself. For a fleeting moment he had slipped and let his guard down,
and his pain was now out in the open under a snow-heavy Canadian sky. Ray was
exhausted from keeping it all together and from keeping them safe. He was
simply cold and tired.
Fraser
turned and looked at him, not missing the somber tone in Ray’s voice. Fraser’s
face was now serious, lined deeply with sorrow and snowflakes. “I’m sorry to
hear you say that, Ray.”
“Oh,
Benny. I didn’t mean it that way. Of course I want to be here and help fix your
cabin. It’s just that I… that we…”
“I
understand, Ray. Lately life has been quite difficult… for us.”
Ray
hung his head in defeat. He wanted to remove his foot from his mouth and kick
himself with it. His latest endeavor in companionship and brotherly devotion
wasn’t working out the way he had planned. He was supposed to be here for
Benny, to be by his side, to prove to him he still was after everything that
has happened to them.
Ray
came to Fraser’s side and lightly touched his arm. “Hey, Benny--"
“There
it is, Ray! Do you see it?” Fraser exclaimed suddenly, breaking the grim mood
between them. “There’s
Ray
looked up. “Thank God! I thought we were lost…” The cop felt his heart suddenly
drop, disappointed by what he saw.
Based
on Fraser’s elaborate ravings about his father’s promiscuous friend, Ray was
expecting to see a fully loaded cabin with a barbecue grill and perhaps an
outdoor jacuzzi. Instead what Ray saw in front of him was a small, rickety
shack tilted on its side and precariously on the verge of collapsing. The old
shack was a monstrosity that swayed with the wind and a thick, gnarly tangle of
undergrowth, dead leaves and snow covered the sides of the structure, giving it
an ominous appearance of being swallowed up by the earth.
The
shack made Benny’s own cabin look like a playboy mansion and Ray was pissed.
“What
the hell is this, Fraser?”
“It’s
my father’s friend’s cabin, Ray.”
“Jesus!
What kind of friends did your father have?”
“I
don’t follow you.”
“Benny!
This is not a cabin! It’s a coffin!”
“I
believe you’re exaggerating, Ray.”
“I
believe you’re out of your mind! We can’t stay in this deathtrap!”
“This
is a perfectly fine cabin, Ray. I’ve had on a few occasions stayed in this
cabin when I was a child.”
“Because
as a child you were small enough to fit inside!”
Fraser
approached the cabin and inspected the door. The door was locked shut with a
heavy padlock. “Oh dear. The cabin appears to be locked up for the season.”
Ray
became hopeful at this discovery. “Wow! The first Canadian in history to use a
lock on his door! I guess we’ll have to find another place to crash. Let’s go,
Benny!”
Ray
and Dief turned quickly to leave.
“Wait
a moment, Ray. Maybe all is not lost.”
Fraser
yanked hard on the rusty padlock and it broke apart easily in his hand. With a
small smile of triumph he shoved open the door with the broad of his shoulder
and entered the cabin from hell.
Ray
sighed in misery as he followed Fraser inside. “Oh great, we’re saved.”
The
inside of the cabin was dark and its furnishings meager. There was a small bed
in the center of the room with wool blankets folded neatly on top. In the corner
there stood an iron potbelly stove and a broken footstool. A battered old
lantern hung low from the ceiling and everything was covered in a thick blanket
of dust. The wind howled around the cabin, making it creak and groan under the
assault.
Fraser
tossed his backpack onto the bed, kicking up a thick cloud of ancient dust. He rubbed
his hands briskly together. “We have to collect firewood before it gets dark,
Ray.”
“We’re
staying here tonight?” Ray asked with a mixture of disbelief and pathos.
“Yes,
we are.”
“Do
we have a choice?”
“We
always have other choices, Ray, but they aren’t always wise.”
Ray
hissed though clenched teeth, dropping his heavy suitcase to the floor. He bit
his bottom lip and trudged back outside into the blowing snow with Fraser
following close behind. Ray began searching around the cabin for a convenient
pile of stacked firewood.
“Hey,
Fraser? Where’s the firewood?”
“The
firewood is over there, Ray.” Fraser pointed to the forest in the far distance.
“You’re
telling me we have to chop our own wood? Doesn’t this cabin have anything?”
“We’re
probably the first occupants of this cabin in many years, so our amenities will
be few.”
“I
didn’t think
“Now,
Ray, of course we do. In fact when I was first assigned to
“Whoa!
Free soap and a comb! I’m surprised the opulence didn’t go straight to your
head.”
“You
have no idea, Ray.
The
two men hiked through deep snow to the forest with Dief trotting far up ahead,
chasing, prancing, and pouncing on all small forms of wildlife. Fraser soon
found a group of tall trees prime for chopping. He then opened his small
leather knapsack and produced a pair of axes. Fraser lifted one up and handed
it over to Ray. “It’s yours, Ray.”
Ray
blinked at Fraser in surprise when he laid his eyes on the axe. “It’s mine?”
“It’s
your axe, Ray. It belongs to you.”
“Oh...”
Ray took the axe from Fraser and turned it over in his hands, contemplating the
tool quietly. Ray swallowed hard and looked up at Fraser. “You remembered,
Benny.”
“Remembered
what?”
“An
axe for me, when we were in the hospital you said you had an axe for me.”
Fraser
looked away uncomfortably, recalling the time they were in the hospital after
Ray shot him.
“I
do remember, Ray.”
Fraser
remembered Ray’s daily visits to his hospital room and Ray’s hard struggle to
gain his trust and forgiveness. He had fought to shut out Ray even then, in
fact he had wanted to shut out the whole world, but Ray refused to let him have
his way.
Ray’s
offer to help him repair the cabin had finally touched something deep in his
heart that day in the hospital. Ray had broken Victoria’s dark hold on his
heart with that simple offer, and Fraser felt a reconnection to the world, that
there was something promising awaiting him beyond his hurt and grief and that
it could be within his reach.
Offering
his axe to Ray was his first baby-step to being human again in a post-Victoria
life and he knew Ray would be there to lead him every step of the way.
“It
seems long ago, Benny,” Ray concluded softly.
“It’s
been nearly a year.”
“For
some reason it seems longer.”
“Much
has happened since then, Ray,” Fraser commented wistfully as he gazed out at
the numerous trees, the snow-white scenery clouding over as he remembered
missed opportunities and lost chances.
Something
promising was awaiting him and Fraser had gradually realized that it all centered
on Ray. He should have known at the very beginning when he first addressed the
cop in the holding cell as Detective Armani, but Fraser acknowledged that he
always fell miserably short when it came to matters that involved his emotions.
Many years in cold solitude of wandering through snow drifts and wilderness and
conversing with a deaf wolf as his only companion had left a gaping hole in his
humanity. And Ray was all humanity, living and breathing humanity, and Fraser
was at a lost on how to overcome his handicap and reach out to Ray on Ray’s own
level, to let Ray know he wanted to give all he can of himself as much as any
human can when in love.
But
now wasn’t the time to decipher how Ray would react to such a revelation as the
shadows surrounding them begun to grow deeper. Maybe it was too late.
He’d
hurt Ray too any times and hurt him profoundly. Ray still humored him and talked
to him, but the bond they had shared seemed to be slowly unraveling like frayed
rope being pulled too taut. If Fraser can only maintain the few remaining ties
of friendship he had with Ray, he would be more than grateful and he could live
with that, even if it hurt.
“We
have to start chopping wood before we lose daylight, Ray.” Fraser picked up his
own axe and walked away from the cop.
“Hey!
Where are you going, Fraser?”
“I’m
going to look for some trees.”
Ray
flapped his arms in exasperation, “But we’re surrounded by trees!”
“These
are your trees, Ray. I’m going to search for my own. I won’t be far.”
Ray
watched the Mountie disappear into the thick woods like a silent ghost, leaving
him on his own. Maybe Fraser was trying to teach him an Inuit lesson. Maybe
Fraser was simply trying to annoy him. Ray sighed as he contemplated the many
trees towering high above him. He suddenly felt a deep, empty ache within his chest
that he couldn’t explain.
“You’ll
keep me company, Dief. Isn’t that right?”
The
wolf turned and sped off into the woods like a shot.
“Traitor!”
Ray
glanced around to survey his trees, deciding which tree should be his victim. He
immediately spotted one he liked and approached it as if he was ready to
apprehend a criminal.
“Sorry
tree, but you’re going down.” Ray swung his axe, burying it deep in the wood.
Ray
soon developed a rhythm of productive strokes when he suddenly heard a familiar
voice behind him in mid-swing.
“Where
have I seen this joke before?”
Ray
quickly turned and saw his father leaning against a tree. The old man was
wearing his vinyl jacket with a thick scarf wrapped around his neck, implying
that perhaps ghosts felt the bitter cold, too.
“Leave
it alone, Pop! I’m busy now!”
“It’s
your crazy friend again! You never did listen to me and now he has you out here
to freeze to death! He’s loony toons if you ask me.”
“Well,
I didn’t ask you! I’m here because I want to be here!”
“Let
me guess? You owe him one.”
“He’s
my best friend.”
“He’s
loony toons!”
Ray
ignored the old man and returned to his chosen tree. He swung his axe swiftly,
taking out a huge chunk of bark and surprising even himself with his
determination.
“If
it wasn’t for your crazy friend Frank Zuko would be rotting in jail for
eternity! Cop killers never live to see the light of day, at least I know that
much!”
“Zuko
didn’t kill Louis. It was
“But
you had your only shot to put Zuko away for good! I hate that little purse
cutter as much as you do!”
“Oh
great!” Ray laughed bitterly at his father. “We now have something in common! I
guess we’re finally bonding!”
“Your
crazy friend has been nothing but trouble! If you only knew better you’d ditch
him!”
Ray
stopped swinging his axe. That deep ache was back again, but more agonizing in
its intensity and now more definable.
“I
almost did,” Ray whispered to himself.
Ray
remembered the painful episode in the precinct when Frank Zuko was released
from custody and the smug look on the crime boss’s face when he thanked Fraser
for his help. Angry and hurting, Ray had turned his back on Fraser as the other
cops had done in the bullpen wanting nothing to do with the Mountie.
To
Ray it seemed Fraser had broken an unspoken code shared among the brotherhood
of policemen, the ‘blue code of silence.’ Ray himself had never really cared
for the ‘code,’ being a self-willed cop who preferred to follow the beat of his
own drum, yet somehow he became caught in its maddening grip after Louis was
killed and it was Fraser who was dealt the consequences of Ray’s decision to
bring Zuko down.
The
RCMP had deemed Fraser an outcast after he turned in Gerard for the murder of
his father and he was swiftly banished to the consulate in
Yet
Ray had broken his silent promise in a rush of revenge and grief and he’d shut
the Mountie out at his darkest hour. That was many times worse than any bullet
in the back.
“Your
crazy friend doesn’t fit in,” Carmine Vecchio declared, echoing Ray’s dismal thoughts.
“He doesn’t belong and he’ll only bring you down, Raymondo.”
“The
only guy who doesn’t belong here is you, Pop! You’re supposed to be dead,
remember? So why don’t you be dead and disappear?”
Ray
turned and his old man did disappear, finally leaving Ray alone with his soul
severed and lost in the woods.
Ray
stared at the axe in his hands, the very one that Fraser had promised him in
the hospital. A sudden surge of heat burned in the pit of his stomach. It was
that gut feeling he always got when he was about to face a fierce fight or a
gun battle.
“I’ll
make it up to you, Benny. I’ll give you anything you want. I’ll give you my
life. I’ll even give you stupid firewood.” Ray started work again on his tree,
swinging his axe into the wood and making good progress in a short amount of
time.
Ray
was proud of himself, feeling like a real woodsman capable of anything and
possibly worthy of Fraser’s friendship. All it would take was one final chop to
down the tree and Ray went for it. He swung and struck hard at the trunk when
his axe unexpectedly shattered apart, the blade snapping off the handle and flying
into the air. The blade landed unceremoniously into a snow drift.
Ray
stared at the splintered handle in his hand with detached shock. He then looked
around wildly for any signs of Fraser, perhaps for Fraser’s help or his disapproval.
There were only tall trees and falling snow. If this was a fucking Inuit lesson
in life, it was a damn good one.
Ray
sat back exhausted against his battered tree with his broken axe in his lap,
realizing his loss.
He
would’ve laughed at the irony of his situation, but his feet were numb.
<><><><>
Fraser
marched through the deep snow, inhaling the cold air and savoring its cleansing
effects in his lungs, but somehow it didn’t reach his troubled soul.
Even
his retreat to a few moments of quiet solitude didn’t bring him any relief.
Ray’s constant intrusion in his life for the past two years had erased the last
sole comfort of simply being alone. Fraser felt he was hopelessly doomed when
it came to Ray.
Fraser then heard a familiar voice behind him.
“It’s
been a while since I’d been in this neck of the woods. It brings back old
memories.”
Fraser
turned to see his father sitting leisurely on a tree stump, the older man dressed
in mukluks and snowshoes. Robert Fraser made a dramatic show of enjoying the
snowy scenery surrounding him, more than happy to be in his element again and
not haunting his son in some city diner or the dive apartment on
“Oh.
It’s you again,” Fraser sniffed in irritation. “Hello, Dad.”
“Hello,
Son. I see you’ve decided to spend the night in
“Dad!
Do you mind? It’s snowing and it’s cold!”
“You
mean this?” Fraser Sr. casually brushed the fallen snow from off his shoulders.
“This is nothing! It’s practically a heat wave.”
“I
hardly think so. We both need the shelter tonight.”
“It’s
your friend the cop, isn’t it? He can’t handle these adverse conditions. I can’t
really blame him. Your friend is from the city and he’s a Yank. What I don’t
understand is why you brought him here in the first place.”
“I
brought Ray here to help me repair your cabin. I should think you would show
some appreciation.”
“You
can easily make the repairs yourself! Your friend will only smash his thumb
with a hammer.”
“Ray
is more than capable in making home repairs. He’s the head of his own household
and an excellent provider for his family. He’s a good man.”
“Listen,
son, I know you brought the cop here to make it up to him, but I don’t know why
you should. You discovered the true killer of Detective Gardino and you brought
him to justice! You got your man!”
“Yes,
I did get my man, but was it worth the price of friendship? I’d hurt Ray in my
pursuit of justice, I had almost destroyed our friendship in the process.”
“Of
course it’s worth it! If your cop friend can’t take a little bloody nose to his
ego, then perhaps he should find himself another profession, like arranging
flowers.”
“That
is just so like you, Dad!” Fraser shouted angrily at his father.
“What
do you mean?”
“What
I mean is you believe that duty and the pursuit of justice are the only means
to an end and to heck with everything else!”
“Watch
your language, son! You’re a Mountie!”
“There
you go again!”
“What?”
“You
keep reminding me I’m a Mountie! If you should care to know I also happen to be
Ray’s best friend! That should mean something more than just being a Mountie?”
“Is
that what you think, son?”
Fraser
faltered when he heard the question directed at him. “I don’t know. I should
think I would, but my latest actions keep telling me otherwise.”
“Son,
sometimes our actions are a matter of self-sacrifice, and sometimes you’ll have
to sacrifice what’s most important to you because it’s your duty.”
“My
actions had led me to be shunned by the RCMP and exiled from my own country. My
actions had led me to deal with
“This
man must be very important to you if you’re willing to give up everything you believe
in,” Fraser Sr. frowned and shook his head at the thought. “This man sounds
very much like the raven-haired beauty we all know and love--"
“Ray
is nothing like
“You
don’t need to convince me, son. Maybe you need to give your friend some credit
and start convincing yourself. After all you did drag the poor yank here to
this God-forsaken place and he allowed it. That must count for something. So
perhaps the both of you should stop your sulking and get down to the business of
repairing my cabin. It’s been over a year now.”
Fraser
Sr. stood up with an air of indignation. “I’m going for a walk, son. You’re on
your own.”
“Good.”
Fraser grumbled to himself, perturbed at being broad-sided by his father. He
approached a tree with his axe and started to swing into the bark.
“Oh,
and one more thing, son.”
“What
is it now?” Fraser called wearily over his shoulder.
“This
time you may get your second chance.”
“Dad?” Fraser spun around, but his father was
nowhere to be seen.
Fraser
stared at the axe in his hand, unnerved yet again by his father’s logic.
It
was cold, it was snowing, it was becoming dark, and he has Ray alone in the
middle of the woods chopping down a tree to avoid freezing to death.
His
father must be right. Why would Ray allow himself to be stuck in the middle of
nowhere by a crazy, manipulative Mountie?
There
must be something left worth salvaging and Ray was desperately hanging on just
as he was now, struggling to keep strong the bond of friendship they had shared
for this long.
A
second chance.
He had
known in his heart that he would never have a second chance with
Fraser
gripped the axe handle hard and it oddly reminded him of Ray himself: sturdy,
strong, and very real. Fraser was never going to let go. He started to chop his
tree, imagining how good it would feel to warm Ray tonight when he got a good
fire going in the small cabin.
Gathering
the remnants of his fallen tree, Fraser walked into the clearing carrying an
armful of logs. He dropped them immediately when he saw Ray sitting alone in
the snow.
He
rushed over to Ray’s side.
“Ray!
What happened? Are you hurt?”
“Just
my pride,” Ray laughed softly. “I broke my axe.”
Fraser
looked at the steel blade lying in the snow then over to Ray’s face. The
Italian was staring straight ahead, but his eyes were unseeing. Ray seemed far
away and engaged in some distant, sad meditation.
“It’s
my fault, Ray. The axe is old.”
“The
trees are older, Benny.”
“We’ll
buy you a new axe.”
“No,
Benny.”
“It’s
no problem, Ray. We can buy one at the general store in town--”
“I
don’t want a new axe! I want this one, the one you’ve saved for me!” Ray held
the busted handle tight against his chest. “Don’t you get it? I’ve been waiting
for this axe for too long!”
“Oh.”
“Now
I’ve broken it.”
“I’ll
fix it.”
“What?”
The cop looked up in disbelief.
“I’ll
fix your axe, Ray.”
“Really?”
Ray blinked at him.
“Sure
I can. The blade is still quite good. It may only need to be sharpened. I can
also carve you a handle that is stronger, too.”
“You
can do that for me?”
“Yes,
Ray. I can do that for you.”
“Thanks,
Benny. For a moment I thought my axe was a goner.”
“Like
I’ve said, Ray, the axe is old and well used. Sometimes we tend to rely on
something so much that we forget its innate frailty. I know I’ve made that
mistake before. Even something as strong as a
sword blade has a weak point. It doesn’t mean a sword is less effective or
reliable, it means it’s only as strong as the man who handles it properly.”
“Er,
Benny? We’re still talking about axes, right?”
“Uh…yes,
Ray.”
Fraser
stood up and examined Ray’s hack job in the nearby tree. “I see you’ve chosen
the tree with the widest girth. You did quite some work here, Ray. Not a bad
job for an amateur.”
“I’ve
chopped wood before! Who do you think provided the wood for that raft we built
after our plane crashed? Or were you too blind to even notice?”
“Ah!
You mean those little saplings you’ve unmercifully chopped down? How can I
forget?”
“Are
you mocking me, Benny?”
Fraser
planted his boot against the damaged tree and pushed it, watching the tree tip
over and drop solidly to the ground. He stood over the huge trunk with his axe
in hand, studying it objectively.
“We
now have enough firewood to last us several winters, Ray. How dare I mock you
and your woodsmanship?”
“Yeah,
thanks for the vote of confidence.” Ray stood up, brushing the snow off his
clothes and arranging himself. “Well, I think I’m done being a lumberjack,
Benny. I don’t know what else to say to you.”
“Say
that you love me, Ray.”
“What,
Benny?”
Ray
was startled to hear those rushed words uttered by Fraser.
Did
he hear Fraser right? Did Fraser say he wanted to be loved by him?
Was
the Mountie searching for something more than friendship?
Ray
had thought about it, dreamed of it, and briefly tortured himself over it. But
Ray knew for certain Fraser wasn’t built that way chasing after
But
one still can have hope?
Ray
looked closely at Benny, trying to read him behind the stone mask, but Ray
could feel the man suddenly pull away and shut down, perhaps uneasy at the scrutiny
and the awkward silence between them.
Maybe
he got it wrong. Maybe Fraser simply needed to be reassured their friendship
was still intact after everything that has happened. That’s why they were here
in the first place, for reassurance.
Ray
put on his best male swagger and punched Benny’s arm playfully. “You lunkhead!
We’re best friends! Of course I love you!”
Fraser
laughed softly, looking away and nodding his head. “Of course you do.” Fraser
then slapped Ray playfully on the back, returning the macho gesture. “And I
love you too, Ray.”
“Good!
Don’t just stand there, Benny! Start chopping wood before we lose daylight!”
Ray gestured to his fallen tree in the snow, doing his best imitation of a pedantic
and stuffy Fraser.
Fraser
laughed and swung his axe into the wood.
After
finishing off Ray’s tree, Benny carefully placed his axe into his bag along
with its broken twin and Ray picked up as many logs he could carry in his arms
without falling over.
Both
men walked silently back to the cabin and quickly went about the business of
cleaning the cabin to make it suitable for human habitation. Ray swept the
floors and shook the dusty blankets. Fraser cleaned out the iron stove and
prepared a fire.
Ray
dropped his butt to the small bed and he tested the old mattress, stretching
flat out on his back. “Hmm, I guess it’s not too bad, but after the day I had I
can sleep on a bed of nails.”
Ray
felt himself being shaken and he blinked open his eyes. It was Fraser’s firm
hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him awake.
“Ray,
you fell asleep.”
“I
did?”
“I
didn’t want to wake you, but it’s time for dinner.”
“You
made dinner!” Ray sat up, his stomach suddenly hungry for some grub. “What are we
having?”
“Rice,
beans, and pemmican.”
Ray
made a horrified face.
“I
know it’s not exactly your mother’s cooking,” Fraser stated somberly as he
presented the plate of food to Ray, “but it’s what we could carry on our
backs.”
“It
sounds great, Benny.” Ray forced a fake smile. He finally overcame his fears
and dug into his meal.
Fraser
sat silently picking at his meal deep in thought as Ray quickly polished off
his plate. Ray glanced up at Fraser with concern.
“You’re
not hungry?”
“Not
much.”
“What’s
wrong, Benny? Bad pemmican?”
“No,
Ray. Back in the woods when I was discussing axes and swords, I was really
trying to tell you something.”
“Was
it something in Inuit?”
“Not
quite.”
“What
were you trying to tell me?”
“The
mistake I’ve made after Louis was killed, when I assisted in having Zuko
released from custody. I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“That
wasn’t a mistake, Benny. Frankie didn’t do it and you proved it. You did the
right thing.”
“No,
Ray, that’s not it. The mistake I’ve made was not acknowledging that you were
in pain, and that what I was doing was creating more pain for you.”
“Benny,
I was so angry with Zuko I couldn’t see straight. What could you have done for
me?”
“What
I could’ve done was provide you some solace, to reach out and let you know I’ve
felt the pain you were in and that you were not alone in this, but I didn’t.
Instead, I focused on performing my duty and I’ve done this at the expense of
your feelings. I had pushed you too far and I’d hurt you, Ray. I’m sorry.”
Ray
shoved his dinner aside. He immediately stood up and began pacing the tiny
cabin. Fraser stared at him, following Ray’s agitated movements with rapt
attention.
“Ray?”
“You’re
sorry? You’re actually sorry!” Ray shouted.
“Ray--"
“Are
you crazy? I’m the one who should be sorry! I’d wanted to put a man away for a
crime he didn’t commit and when I didn’t get what I want I turned my back on
you!”
“You
didn’t turn your back on me, Ray.”
“Yes,
I did. Back in the precinct when Zuko was cut loose I did a terrible thing to
you. I walked away from you in the bullpen. I hung you out to dry.”
“It’s
understandable considering the circumstances. You were hurt by my actions.”
“That’s
no excuse.”
“I
betrayed you, Ray.”
“No,
Benny. I’m the one who betrayed you. I’d betrayed all that you have done for
me.”
“I
don’t understand.”
“Benny,
before you arrived in
“Then
I decided to throw it all away. I knew the evidence against Zuko had to be
planted. I knew that someone else had committed the murder. Is that anyway to
treat a fallen comrade? Is that anyway to treat Gardino’s family? But I wanted
to nail Zuko for murder so badly and perhaps get another chance with Irene. And
where did it get me? Irene was killed and I betrayed you, my best friend.”
“What
happened wasn’t your fault, Ray. Frank Zuko is a criminal who has terrorized
your neighborhood for years. I know you worked hard to convict Zuko of his
crimes, but the limitations of the law and Zuko’s wealth and influence had
prevented you in doing this. I understand your anger at many years of injustice,
so when the first real opportunity to stop Zuko was presented to you I know it
was very overwhelming.”
“Benny,
I was a real jerk and you were still there for me.”
“You’d
been there for me, Ray, even when I was a jerk to you. You had saved me from
making a horrible mistake.”
Ray
looked at Fraser with confused eyes. “You mean
“Yes,
“Benny,
I almost killed you.”
“If
I had got on that train with
“God!”
Ray sat on the bed next to Fraser, shaking his head. “We’re both idiots!”
“That
may be the case, but I do know you’re a good man and a good cop.”
“Fraser,
how can you believe in that after what I’ve done?”
“Because
I know you, Ray. I know who you are inside. I know your heart.”
“That
doesn’t mean anything.”
“Do
you think I’m a good cop, Ray?”
“Benny!
You’re the best cop I’ve ever known.”
“How
can you believe that after what I’ve done? I was going with her.”
“Because
I know you, Benny. I know who you are inside,” Ray sighed wearily. “I know your
heart.”
“Ray,
I think we reached an impasse.”
“Yeah,
I think we’ll be going in circles at this rate.”
“I
believe you’re right, Ray.”
“So
what can we do about it? How do we fix this mess?” Ray asked in despair. “This
has been killing me for weeks.”
“I’m
not sure. Maybe we simply forgive each other,” Fraser shrugged helplessly. “That’s
what friends do. They forgive each other.”
“You
still consider me your friend, Benny?”
“Yes,
Ray. I only hope I’m fortunate enough to have you feel the same way.”
“Oh,
Benny.” Ray threw his arms around Fraser’s shoulders and held him close in a
desperate hug. “We’re still friends. We’ll always be friends, no matter what.”
“Thank
you, Ray. I cannot imagine us otherwise.”
“Yes,
me too. I’m sorry for being a total jerk to you. Please forgive me, Benny.”
“Oh,
Ray. I do forgive you, and please forgive me.”
“I
forgive you, Benny. I even forgive you for all my dry cleaning bills. And you
know what?”
“What,
Ray?”
“We’re
both still idiots.”
Fraser
pondered this statement carefully. “Er… even Steven?”
“Fraser!
That’s stupid.” Ray pulled away and laughed. “Let’s get some sleep before I
toss you out the cabin.”
“Yes,
Ray.”
They
both turned to opposite corners of the cabin to give themselves privacy as they
got dressed for sleep. Fraser picked up his bedroll and looked up to find Ray
glaring at him in disbelief.
“No
way, Fraser!”
“Excuse
me, Ray?”
“No
way are you sleeping on the ground tonight. It’s too damn cold.”
Fraser
glanced helplessly around the room until his eyes became fixed on his only
other option. “You mean the bed… you want us to share the bed? I don’t want to
make you feel uncomfortable, Ray.”
They
stared at each other warily for a brief moment. Ray then rolled his eyes.
“I’d
be more uncomfortable finding you frozen dead in the morning. Drop the bedroll,
Benny.”
“Yes,
Ray.”
Ray
crawled under the covers first and Fraser soon followed while maintaining a neutral
distance between them as they both settled themselves in bed. Ray would assume
he be freaking out at this close proximity to his best friend, but he was too
emotionally exhausted to give it second thought. And he really meant it when he
said he didn’t want to find Fraser frozen to death in the morning.
A
restless Fraser shifted and moved for the next several hours in the small bed,
twisting and turning to get comfortable, rousing Ray from his sleep. Fraser then
turned onto his side with an exasperated sigh. The little gust of breath
tickled Ray’s ear, sending a small shiver down Ray’s spine.
“Can
you sleep, Fraser?” Ray mumbled.
“No,
Ray. I cannot,” Fraser sighed miserably and he turned himself over again.
Ray
suddenly froze.
There
was something in Fraser’s sigh, something that sounded awfully familiar to Ray.
It was the sound of complete frustration and everything finally clicked into
place.
“Uh,
Benny? When we were in the woods punching each other and laughing about
brotherly love, what were you really trying to tell me? Don’t be afraid to tell
me.”
There
was a long moment of stunned silence.
A
warm hand then cupped Ray’s cheek, gentle but possessive and Ray read
everything in that simple touch, what Benny needed from him. Ray turned over to
gaze into Fraser’s face and he was amazed by what he saw.
Benny
looked at him with desperate longing. It was evident in the hungry glint of his
blue eyes. Ray rarely had that stare directed solely at him, but he knew it for
what it was.
“Oh,
Benny.” Ray groaned his friend’s name in understanding. “That’s what you were
trying to tell me in the woods, huh?”
“I did
tell you.”
“You
didn’t make it obvious.”
“I’ve
told you I loved you, Ray. That should’ve been obvious enough.”
“But
then you closed shop on me, Fraser! I couldn’t read you at all. I didn’t know
what to think.”
“I’m
sorry, Ray. I wasn’t sure how you’d react, if you would be open to such alternative
possibilities.”
Ray
frowned grimly. “Why would you think that?”
“The
things you’ve said before regarding the subject and the way you’ve acted, like
when we were locked inside the meat locker--"
“It’s
called male bravado, Benny,” Ray sighed regrettably. “I’m a cop living in a
tough neighborhood. It’s not the safest subject to talk about on the basketball
court. I guess it’s what I sometimes use to survive. Do you understand?”
“Ah,
I believe I do. It’s similar to a wolf marking its own territory and defending
it, with the swagger and posturing and the bearing of teeth--”
“Jeez,
Fraser! I’m not that bad!”
“However,
wolves do mate for life.”
Ray stroked Fraser’s face with sad gentleness.
“Can that also be true for humans?”
Fraser
scooped Ray’s body into his arms and placed a firm kiss on the man’s lips.
Ray
pulled back in surprise. “Benny!”
“Too
fast, Ray?” Fraser asked with worried concern.
With
a low, feral growl Ray flipped their bodies over to be on top of Fraser. Ray then
closed his mouth tight over Fraser’s and they shared a wet, sensual kiss that had
them both moaning.
Ray propped himself on his
elbows, resting himself firmly between Benny’s legs, gazing deep into expectant
blue eyes. He began a slow, steady rhythm against Fraser’s body, rocking
himself in Fraser’s embrace. Benny gripped the sides of the cot, pushing his
hips to meet Ray, almost taking Ray for a ride as he clutched to him.
“Ray! Ray! I’m almost…!”
Ray climbed off of him, grunting
hard in frustration. “Benny! Take this off! Get this stupid thing off of you.”
Ray peeled the longjohns frantically off his friend’s body, down his hips and
legs, both men wrestling with the red fabric.
Ray now sat back on his
heels staring wide-eyed at the pale, uncut shaft for the very first time. “Oh,
God. Benny.”
The sturdy cock was very
erect, a glistening rod that quivered and swelled. The hair at Fraser’s groin
was a pool of blue-black, a stark contrast against white skin. Ray didn’t
realize innocent Benny was capable of such things. The world was suddenly
turned upside down for the cop and everything was now amiss. Ray wasn’t sure he
could handle it.
Ray closed his eyes tight.
“I do love you”
“That I know without a doubt,
Ray.”
“I really do, Benny.”
Ray suddenly became bold
and he fingertip-stroked the pale shaft of his friend lightly and quickly.
Fraser screamed loud enough to shake the small cabin to its foundation.
The cop jumped back and he
was shaking. “Uh, Fraser? If you keep yelling like that every time I touch you,
I’ll have a nervous breakdown.”
“Ray, I need to get use to
having your hands on me.”
Ray’s eyes softened,
invoking compassion he didn’t know he was capable of. “Sure thing, Benny.” Ray
responded by placing a deliberate hand to the pale chest. He searched Fraser’s
face for his reaction. Ray let his hand rest there flat on the smooth skin.
“You okay?”
Fraser nodded, gazing at
Ray with hunger and uncertainty. He was panting.
The cop smiled timidly,
examining and exploring the ivory skin some more with gentle concern. Ray
fingered an old scar on Fraser’s upper right pectoral with a quizzical look.
“It happened when I was
young. It involved a dead otter--”
“Shhh. Tell me about it
later, Benny.”
Ray worked his way down his
friend’s body, exploring the pale skin as Fraser quietly moaned his
encouragements. Ray continued with his gentle touches until, eventually, he
made his final stop at Fraser's most sensitive spot. The pale shaft was
standing up straight and stirring with one telltale pearl of pre-cum at the
end, glistening-wet with need. Ray knew Fraser could only take so much torture.
“Benny, I’m going to touch
you there. Don’t have a stroke.”
“Uh, yes.”
Ray grasped the base of the
cock with a gentle yet firm hand, and he felt the man gasp and hike his hips.
“Um, Ray. Yes.” Fraser
groaned as he eased into Ray’s grip.
Ray stared at the uncut
head that flourished in the palm of his hand, the foreskin pulled back to
reveal a weeping and flared slit. Ray let out a long, agonizing breath as he faced
his final decision. After all, this was *Benny* and he did love him. This
Mountie was his best friend and brother.
Bowing down between
Fraser’s thighs, Ray tentatively placed the warm rod into his mouth.
“God, Ray! Oh God!”
Ray blinked in surprise.
Fraser’s cock was rather smooth and salty-sweet in his mouth, its bulk pulsing
softly against the back of his tongue. Not at all unpleasant, actually it was
quite… delicious, and filling.
Benny seemed to be pleased
with what he was doing, so Ray applied a tighter seal with his lips and simply
began to suck the hot flesh in mouth. His friend’s body bucked hard and Ray
grabbed Fraser’s hips firmly to keep himself from being tossed across the room.
He decided to venture
further, darting and tangling his tongue with the foreskin, reaching the juice
underneath. Ray felt the strong muscle in his mouth suddenly twitch and spasm,
and it instantly dawned upon him he was going to taste a large dose of semen.
“RAY!” Fraser warned him.
Ray nearly panicked as his
mouth filled up with hot, salty liquid. *What do I do?*
Fraser was screaming with
delight. He sat up abruptly and jerked his body into Ray’s mouth. “RAY!”
What else could Ray do?
Ray’s autonomic nervous system kicked in and he swallowed the bittersweet
solution, drinking the essence of Fraser’s powerful climax.
“Ray... Ray?” Fraser’s
voice seemed to echo from a thousand miles away over steep glaciers and vast snow
drifts like a waking dream, gently tugging Ray back into full consciousness.
Ray had trouble speaking. He
could barely sit up.
“Ray? Did I hurt you?”
Ray shook his head. He was
swaying from the sheer immensity of just going down on Benton Fraser, RCMP.
“No, Benny.”
“Then what is it?”
Ray collapsed against Fraser’s
chest, gasping and laughing. “Holy shit! I’ve never done that before!”
Fraser smiled at him. “I
would like to try myself, Ray, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind at all.”
Fraser began stripping the
pajamas off Ray. “Are you cold, Ray?”
Ray stared at Fraser’s busy hands
with huge eyes. “No, far from it.”
Ray gasped when his briefs
were pulled down his legs, exposing himself and his thick, needy organ. The
outgoing Italian now became bashful and he looked away, staring at the left
wall. Fraser then slipped his hands between Ray’s thighs and parted them
tenderly.
“Ray, you’re lovely to look
at.”
Ray blushed red for probably
the first time in his life. “Knock it off, Benny.”
Fraser grabbed both of
Ray’s hands and pulled his friend gently towards him, “Over here, Ray, on the
bed. Please.”
Fraser laid him bare on the
mattress in an almost meticulous fashion, watching Ray stretch out before him
with a lean and pliable grace. Fraser gazed upon the cop with silent reverence,
admiring the dark, Mediterranean features of his friend, the exotic body as
thin as twine and the hips narrow and hard.
Burning with curiosity,
Fraser turned Ray over unto his stomach for further study.
“Benny?” Ray squeaked in
apprehension. “What’s your plan of action?”
“Relax, Ray.” Fraser
stroked the slender back with his hands. “This feels very nice.”
Ray nodded in agreement,
purring under Fraser’s hands.
“I want to touch you all
over, Ray.”
Ray thought he would come
right there on the bed upon hearing that softly spoken demand. He grounded his
hips hard into the box springs of the mattress to allay his throbbing ache. Fraser
turned Ray over again and rearranged the Italian on the small bed, spreading
the man’s limbs out like the arms of a starfish, preparing Ray for sex.
Fraser stared at Ray’s cock
towering strong and tall in the air with moisture beading at the tip. Ray was
staring at his erection, too. “I’m so hard,” Ray gasped. “You make me so damn hard,
Benny.”
“I make you feel this way,
Ray?” Fraser inquired with sincere wonder. “You want this as much as I do?”
“Oh, yeah. Benny, I want
you.”
“Do you want me to do this,
Ray?” Fraser wrapped his hand around Ray’s erection, the heft of the cock burning
in his palm, and he pumped Ray slowly and steadily.
Ray arched back and spread
his legs wide, his eyes shining with narrow ferocity at the pale hand working
on him. Benny seemed to know what he was doing pumping Ray’s dark cock with his
hand and Ray couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
His friend was carrying him
to the edge to mercilessly toss him over.
Ray’s head dropped back,
the breaths in his mouth harsh and rapid, the delicious ache in his balls becoming
unbearable and sweet. “Benny! Wait! Oh fuck! I’m going to--”
His orgasm came urgently,
hitting him unaware and Ray spilled semen into his lover’s hand and all over
his skin like hot ointment. It was over quickly and Ray cursed himself
silently.
Ray then felt a warm towel
swab tenderly at his stomach and between his thighs, and he sighed, “Hey,
Benny.”
“Ray.”
Fraser wiped himself down,
thoroughly cleaning himself. There was semen everywhere and so much of it. Ray
was mortified.
“Ray, I must say you’re very virile.”
“Yeah, you think?”
Fraser lifted Ray’s left
leg and carefully inspected the injured shin. “You have quite a bruise. It
seems recent.” Fraser kissed the damaged skin.
“I tripped over a snow drift
and hit something hard. Go figure.”
Fraser took Ray’s cock yet
again into his hands, intent on coaxing another erection from his lover’s body.
He palmed the shaft gently, stroking its velvet-smooth length. The Mountie had
nothing but love and adoration plastered on his face as he explored Ray’s
dilated anatomy.
What would it be like to have Ray burning
inside him, Fraser thought, to have Ray take him body and soul with his heat
and light?
“Inside
me, Ray. Please?”
Ray’s head shot up at the
request. “What, Benny?”
Ray stared at his straining
erection then to Fraser’s pleading eyes. The Big-Eyed-Mountie look now combined
with lust and yearning was hard to resist.
“Okay, Fraser, but we do it
slow. Go lie on your stomach.”
Fraser blinked and shook
with anticipation at this urgent directive from his friend. He flipped himself
over with joy.
Ray felt dizzy in the agony
and confusion of heat and dream and he knelt between Fraser’s spread legs. “I’m
doing this, Benny, so you’ll never have to wonder anymore. No more doubt about
us and what we mean to each other. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Ray. Please.”
“Fraser? I need to use
something… you know, so I won’t hurt you.”
“Excuse me?”
“God, Benny… we need
lubricant.” Ray sounded scandalized.
“Look in my bag, Ray.”
Ray reached over to the
small knapsack and was digging inside, making a mess of the neatly packed items.
He pulled out an ominous white tube. “Hey, what’s this?”
Fraser looked up and
squinted. “That is bug repellant.”
“Gross!” Ray dropped the
tube in horror. “I was about to use that on you! Yech!”
Fraser giggled
uncontrollably, “Ray, I assure you I do not have a bug up my ass, although on
numerous occasions you have tried to convince me otherwise.”
“Fraser, how could you make
a bad joke at a time like this?” Ray complained at him and searched through the
knapsack again. He pulled out another tube that looked more promising and he inspected
it carefully. “Aloe vera gel?”
“That’s for blisters.”
“What?” Ray stopped, not
liking where this conversation was heading. “You get blisters?”
“I am not proud to admit
this, Ray, but on occasions I do get blisters on my feet.”
“You do?”
“Well, not often. I usually
get them if I spend extended periods of time on my feet.”
“Yeah?” Ray asked quietly,
fingering the scar on Fraser’s lower back with gentle sadness. “Does it hurt?”
“Sometimes, but my boots
are quite comfortable once they become broken in.”
“Sorry, Benny.” Ray covered
the scar with his hand, blocking it out of his sight and out of his memory.
“I’m sorry.”
“Ray, I really need you
inside me.”
“Anything for you, Benny.”
Ray squeezed the gel onto
his fingers and slipped them between the firm mounds of Fraser’s ass, coating
the dark entry to Fraser’s body. It was surprising, the softness and the
incredible heat. Ray pushed in deeper, feeling the ring of strong muscles
tighten and relax repeatedly against his moving fingers.
Fraser sighed at the pleasure
localized at his hole, invaded by long, slick fingers working him loose and
free. He began bucking; rubbing his demanding organ into the sheets and Ray
grabbed his hip quickly, pulling him up from the bed.
“Hey, I think you’re ready,
Fraser. Slow down.”
Ray withdrew his fingers
and greased his own erection with the gel, concentrating with all of his
strength in not coming all over his lover’s back now that he was no longer
master of his own body.
Somehow, he managed to
hesitate. “Benny, I need you to let me… I need… oh.”
“You need something, Ray?”
Fraser held his breath. He was so close to total jubilation.
“Permission, Fraser. I need
your permission to do this, before I can do this to you.”
“I give you all the
permission in the universe.” The Mountie offered himself, lifting his rear and opening
himself up even further.
“Gee, Fraser,” Ray laughed.
He was in awe. “Thank you kindly.”
Ray now watched with mystic
tenderness, watched his hand on his own cock guiding himself in, nudging the
small, dark hole, and then he was sliding himself all the way in Fraser’s ass. And
Ray found himself suddenly buried beneath smooth, pale skin, quite cool on the
surface, but burning-hot deep inside and very compact. Fraser pushed back
against him ever so slightly and compressed Ray’s shaft some more.
“Benny!” Ray choked on his
cry, his sensitive cock now caught in a vice-like-grip that sent him soaring.
Fraser pushed back again
with an impatient whimper. This time he wasn’t waiting for Ray. He had waited
too long for this, for Ray’s sweet ascendancy over them both.
Ray had better hurry.
“Ray, please! Now! Fuck me!”
“Watch your language, Benny!
You’re a Mountie!”
“Sor-rey.”
“I hope we know what we’re
in for.” Ray curled up tight against Fraser’s backside, wrapping his arms
around the sturdy waist and he rocked his hips gently, penetrating deeper with
each tiny push.
Fraser gasped with every
thrust, working his way through the momentary bout of pain, to only find
himself blinded by the pure ecstasy of Ray’s smooth cock sparking every nerve
ending in his body.
“I’m here, Benny.” Ray
assured his lover sensing his near coming. The cop shifted on his knees,
strengthening his position, changing his angle of penetration, wanting more of
Fraser’s flesh. Ray reached under for the man’s cock and held him firmly as he
slammed himself into Fraser.
“Ray! Yes! Lover!”
Ray gazed down at Fraser,
staring at the tender act of entering and exiting his friend’s body with his
own and he felt a wild surge of anticipation of the approaching tidal wave that
was rushing to wash over him. Ray closed his eyes tight, fully aware that he
would open them again upon the first trembling of his orgasm, and when the very
first ripple hit him he did.
“Oh fuck, Benny! Yes,
Benny!”
And there was Fraser,
sweating love underneath him and screaming as he poured all of his seed and himself
into Ray’s hand.
“Yes, Ray! I love you!”
Ray pressed his face into Fraser’s
broad back, planting his mouth on the pale skin, licking in the sound of his
lover’s rapid breathing. His cock was still nestled deep within the man beneath
him, a place safe, warm, and murmuring, a place which was, which had to be meant
for only him.
Smiling at his luck, Ray
remained inside the Mountie he loved, his arm wrapped tight around Fraser’s
waist, his free hand stroking the dark, chestnut hair. There was a strange
calmness in allowing them this rest, neither man willing to break their
physical connection.
The Italian laughed
silently to himself and at the picture they made.
Between his own growls of joy
and Benny’s innocent wonder they would most certainly become noisy and
boisterous lovers at
Fraser stirred as the
slender body on top him trembled with giggles. “Ray?”
Ray stopped moving and he sighed,
“After having sex with you, I feel like I’ve never given something without
getting something in return.”
“That’s not true, Ray.” Fraser
frowned into the pillow. “You’re a very giving man.”
“Of course you would say
that, Benny.”
“I say it because it’s
true.”
Reluctantly, Ray laid his
hands flat on the mattress on either side of his lover’s torso and he pulled
himself out of the moist cavern of Fraser’s rear.
Fraser protested the
incredible loss.
“Oh, Benny. How long do
expect me stay inside you?”
“As long as it will take to
convince you that you’re everything to me, Ray.”
“Christ.” Ray turned the
Mountie over and gathered him into his arms. “I waited for the signal that I
was the one you needed and it came when you placed your axe into my hand. Promise
you’ll believe me. Will you do that for me? Please?”
“I don’t have to promise you,
Ray. I simply believe.”
Fraser covered Ray’s mouth
entirely with his own, catching Ray’s breath and his tongue sweet and hot, and entirely
losing himself in the longest and sweetest kiss of his entire life.
<><><><>
Ray stirred from his sleep
and he smiled as he gazed upon Fraser’s sleeping face, now serene and calm
under the spell of dream and firelight. He could probably watch Benny sleep all
his life, but for now he had to answer the call of nature.
Ray gently removed himself
from Fraser’s warm embrace, but not without regret. The wind was howling
outside.
“Ray?” Fraser became awake at
once. “Where are you going?”
“Where do you think I’m
going? I have to go write my name in the snow.” Ray sat up in bed and grabbed
his pants and boots. “You stay put.”
“Please hurry back, Ray.”
Ray threw a jacket over his
bare back. “You bet.”
“Do you want Diefenbaker to
accompany you?”
“No way!”
“Be careful, Ray. It’s near
white-out conditions. Don’t get lost--"
“Stop fussing, Fraser!”
“I love you, Ray.”
“I’m
only going for a piss, Benny.”
Turning
to say goodbye to the nagging Mountie, Ray had found Fraser looking at him with
such heart-rending longing and passion that it could break the hearts of a
thousand poets. Ray stood at the doorway, clutching the wooden frame to keep
himself upright.
“Oh,
Benny. I’ve loved you from the first moment I’ve laid eyes on you. I’ve always
loved you and I can’t find myself ever stopping. I’ll keep telling you that I
love you, although words will never seem enough to me. I don’t think words
can’t even describe the love I feel for you. So I’ll have to show you the only
way I know how and I’ll keep on showing you, and I promise to start as soon as
I return.”
Suddenly
feeling embarrassed and schmaltzy, Ray bolted quickly out of the cabin and into
the driving snow before Fraser could say anything mushy in return.
Fraser
was definitely right. This was a bad-ass blizzard.
Ray
reached out blindly and stumbled along until he felt something solid and rough
against his hands. With a sigh of relief, Ray relieved himself against the
nearest tree, making a mental note not to use it later for firewood. He looked
over to the old cabin that he and Fraser had found a haven in, the cabin where
they’d made love in. It was a god-forsaken dump.
It
was a love shack.
Ray
shook his head at such silly thoughts, intoxicated, delirious thoughts and that
familiar, crazy impulse again. It was the same impulse that drew him to the
pitiful apartment on
He
should have known it. It was love.
Ray
zipped himself up and hurried to the cabin. It wasn’t so much the bitter cold
that made him run like mad, but the warm, loving body that waited for him
inside.
-The
End-