Penitentiary Book Monitor

 

By Anam

Written in 2001, dusted off cobwebs in 2005, and gathered enough courage to post in 2006.

M/M slash that is smutty and sort of silly.

This story is a missing scene that takes place during the episode ‘The Witness,’ featuring Benny and Classic Ray.

Disclaimer: Alliance lawyers I spit on thee.

Please E-mail me at:  [email protected]

 

 

Love is space and time measured by the heart.

-Marcel Proust

 

 

 

 “Damn, Benny! Let’s never go through that again as long as we live!”

 

“Yes, Ray. I totally agree with you.”

 

“Well, that’s a first.”

 

Ray stumbled across the kitchen and slumped into a chair in Fraser’s spartan apartment. He would have never guessed he would be so happy to be back in this dump that Fraser called home, but after spending several long days in prison even West Racine can seem like heaven.

 

He almost laughed at this.

 

Ray guessed freedom made all the difference in the world. The freedom to stay or leave, the freedom to make it better or worse, the freedom to choose. Ray figured Fraser should know this as well as anyone else.

 

He knew as Fraser became more acquainted with city life and less dependent on him as a guide in Chicago the Canadian would have the power to choose their partnership, the freedom to sustain it more out of desire rather than need or naivete.

 

Ray sighed at the thought. He did push his luck by getting themselves into this mess over Torres. Contrary to Ray’s initial anxiety that Fraser would turn into pretty-boy bait in the slammer, the Mountie had handled himself expertly in prison by getting along with the inmates and having enough sense to watch his ass and keeping it untouched and unsullied.

 

He couldn’t believe Fraser would choose to land himself in jail in order to save his ass, but that’s what Fraser did for him, soiling his pristine character just enough to steal a box of milk duds.

 

With time Fraser would have more choices presented to him, including the choice to return his homeland. Ray had no doubt all of Canada would eventually welcome Benny home, their polite and prodigal son. However, Ray found himself waiting for that miserable moment to arrive far too often and he didn’t like feeling this way. Ray did not like a life of uncertainty, but that was his problem and not his friend’s.

 

Traffic jams, drug dealers, uncivilized people, and a loud-mouthed cop: Ray could never blame Fraser if he preferred to leave Chicago at the drop of a hat.

 

Fraser closed his door and greeted the white wolf at his feet. “Did you miss me during my prolonged absence, Diefenbaker?”

 

Dief yawned and sauntered to the corner of the room for another nap.

 

“Maybe spending a few days in the doggie pound will teach your wolf to appreciate the finer things in life, Benny,” Ray commented wryly as he watched a cockroach skitter across the kitchen floor to hide under the gas stove.

 

Fraser considered his friend’s remark sincerely. “I have to admit, Ray, I had found our experience in prison quite enlightening.”

 

Ray spun around in his seat to glare at him. “What? You liked being a jail-bird?”

 

“I didn’t say that, Ray. What I’m saying is that I’ve learned considerably from the experience… from our experience together in prison.”

 

“You were a lousy jail librarian, Fraser.”

 

“No, I was a book monitor, and as I have pointed out to you earlier there is quite a distinction.”

 

“Well, at least you’re not calling yourself a literary technician for the morally challenged,” Ray grumbled, rubbing his tired face with his hands.

 

“That’s just silly, Ray.”

 

“Benny, I’ve really got to get out of this monkey suit.” Ray stood up and tugged at his itchy jail issued-clothing nervously. He could still smell the essence of the institution and the fear in the rough fabric.

 

“Ray, I think we should’ve rightfully returned these prison garments to the proper authorities before we’ve left the premises--”

 

“Fraser! I think we should’ve rightfully got the fuck out of there before any of those inmates got hold of us again and fed our balls to the pigeons! Huey said he’ll pick up our personal belongings and your hat from the prison guards.”

 

“I was only making an observation, Ray.”

 

“Well, observe this!” Ray yanked the offensive prison-blue shirt off his torso and threw it dramatically to the floor in complete disgust. “I want my Armani!”

 

Ray turned and walked to the closet to fetch one of his spare suits when he heard Fraser gasp.

 

“Ray!”

 

“What is it now?”

 

“It’s your back!”

 

“What about it, Benny?”

 

“There are bruises.”

 

“You don’t say.”

 

“What happened to you?”

 

“I’ve told you, Benny, the floor jumped up and hit me,” Ray sighed wearily. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Fraser was skeptical. “The floor did that to you?”

 

“I bounced a few times.”

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“Of course they do, they’re bruises and they’re supposed to hurt.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?”

 

“Because it wasn’t.”

 

“You still should’ve told me, Ray.”

“Look, I didn’t want you getting all worried, okay? I needed you to think straight. I was depending on you to get me out of this stupid mess I’ve created for myself.”

 

Fraser shoulders slumped in defeat. “You depended on me and I’d let you down.”

 

“What are you talking about, Benny?”

 

“Yes, I did. I should’ve gotten to you sooner to help. Ray, I could hardly manage to steal a box of milk duds.”

 

“Fraser, you know I was kidding you about that. Theft is theft no matter how you look at it and I’ve caused you to steal on my behalf. So if anyone has let down anyone around here then it’s gotta be me.”

 

“That’s not true, Ray. You didn’t make me do anything I wouldn’t want to do.”

 

“Are you sure about that, Benny?” Ray shook his head and frowned at his best friend. “I bet you had to force yourself steal a big box of milk duds for me and not the little trial-size crap.”

 

“Ray, I assure you the box I stole wasn’t that big. I would say it was approximately medium-sized, enough to roughly hold twelve to fifteen milk duds--”

 

“Fraser! Will you listen to yourself? We’re getting ourselves nowhere with this blame game. Look, as far as I see it nobody has let anybody down. Torres is alive and safe, Kruger is in jail, Louise is off our backs, I’ve learned my lesson in humility and you’ve learned a lesson in the American judiciary system! Capische?”

 

“Understood.”

 

“Good! Don’t just stand there sulking. Break out the herbal tea, it’s time to celebrate our freedom.”

 

Ray turned again to the closet in search of his elusive suit.

 

“But Ray…” Fraser was exasperated by this man. Why did Ray always have to insist on carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, or at least Fraser’s world?

 

Fraser did as he was told and entered the kitchen to fetch the teakettle.

 

The cop was digging through hanging Mountie uniforms and flannel shirts, looking for anything remotely Italian when he suddenly felt something strange occur to his body. A warm, soft dampness had touched the center of his back, right on his spine, as if he was smacked lightly by a bird flying in from the rain.

 

He was sure of it.

 

Ray froze on the spot. There was heavy breathing behind him. Dief?”

 

“No, it’s me, Ray.”

 

“Uh, Benny? Did you just kiss my back?”

 

“Yes, Ray.”

 

Ray swallowed his fear. “May I ask why?”

 

“I simply had to, Ray.”

 

“What do you mean by that, Benny?”

 

“What do I mean by that?” Fraser asked nervously.

 

“Yes, Benny.” Ray grew impatient with anticipation, but he tried to hide it from his voice, sensing something huge coming his way. “Tell me what you mean by that.”

 

“When one feels compelled to do something, now matter how frightening or daunting one must do it, like jumping off the edge of a cliff, heading into a snowstorm, stealing a box of milk duds, and kissing you…”

 

Ray’s heart was pounding so hard in his chest he thought he would die.

 

“Fraser? When did all of this start?”

 

“It started when I met you in the holding cell--”

 

“That was almost two years ago, Benny.”

 

“I’m aware of that, Ray.”

 

“Two years is a long time to hold in something like that. Something like that can wear down your soul if you choose to wait that long.”

 

Fraser was gazing at him intently, with gentle sympathy. “You yourself seem well acquainted with my predicament.”

 

For a moment Ray wanted to run for the door. Yes, he and Benny were close; they were best friends, but there were some hidden things deep inside Ray Vecchio only Ray Vecchio knew. To have another human being push all his buttons like this was unsettling.

 

“When I said I’ve learned considerably from our experience I believe you didn’t understand my intent, Ray.”

 

“What were you trying to tell me that I didn’t understand, Fraser?”

 

“From our experience I’ve learned that without your presence by my side, all my accomplishments and my actions seem rather empty and hollow. I can only guess when you strip it down to its final core, love is what remains, and that’s what I need.”

 

“Love? You’re saying you love me, Benny?”

 

“Yes, Ray. I love you. I can only hope you can return what I feel for you.”

 

“You hope I love you?” Ray was asking this question more to himself than to Benny.

 

“Do you, Ray? Do you love me?”

 

Ray turned his back on the Mountie.

 

“Ray?” Fraser’s voice had never sounded so small, so scared.

 

“Are there many bruises, Fraser?”

 

“Uh, yes, Ray. I do see quite a few bruises.”

 

“Kiss ‘em all, Benny. Please, love?”

 

Ray heard Fraser’s sudden intake of breath and the cop shivered as soft-caressing lips fluttered all over his back, touching him with incredible lightness. It felt so right, so healing to have Benny’s gentle mouth all over him like this.

 

Fraser then turned Ray fully around and he held him tight within his arms, stroking Ray’s back. “Are you feeling better, Ray?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Ray purred in hazy pleasure against Fraser’s neck.

 

“Ah, I see a few more here.” Benny lowered his head and began nibbling all over Ray’s chest. Fraser then latched on a dark nipple and sucked hard.

 

“Oh!” Ray hissed through clenched teeth, “That’s not a bruise!”

 

Fraser looked up from his gnawing. “Do you wish me to stop, Ray?”

 

“No! I was only making an observation.”

 

“Good.” Fraser continued feasting on Ray’s chest and traveled slowly downward to reach the man’s navel.

 

Ray was struggling to stand on his feet, enjoying the moist attentions his friend gave to his stomach. The Canadian began to attack his belt buckle and Ray jumped back at the sudden move. “Hey, Benny! Slow down a little, okay?”

 

“Sorry, Ray. I got carried away.” Fraser blushed as he stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

“Hey, do you have any boo-boos?” Ray began to unbutton Fraser’s prison shirt with genuine concern.

 

“No, Ray, I do not have any injuries. I was only the penitentiary book monitor. Why would anybody wish me any harm?”

 

“Well, you did have a crappy selection of reading materials, Benny.”

 

“That wasn’t entirely my fault. I was merely providing the prisoners what was provided to me by the state of Illinois.”

 

“You and your lame excuses. Hmm, do you have any paper cuts?” Ray snatched Fraser’s hand and inspected it carefully. The cop suddenly sucked in an index finger into his mouth.

 

Fraser gasped at the wet, swirling tongue on his digit. “Oh, Ray!”

 

Ray spoke around the pale finger in his mouth, “If you like this, Benny, just you wait until I get my mouth on your beautiful cock.”

 

Fraser legs buckled when he heard those words, shooting stars all around his groin and Ray had to walk him over to the small bed. “You all right, Benny?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

Fraser was now sprawled on the mattress, his chest heaving and his heart pounding. Ray soon joined him at his side, pressing his lips against Fraser’s slack mouth. The room was still spinning for the Mountie and Ray’s sensual tongue in his mouth didn’t help matters.

 

“I think I am the one moving too fast for you, Benny. Maybe we can just cuddle for now?”

 

“No, Ray. I want more.”

 

“Are you sure about this?” 

 

“I want more, Ray. I’ve waited too long for this. I want you now!” Fraser began to unbuckle his own belt frantically, whipping the imitation leather strap through the loops of his pants.

 

“Wait for me!” Ray shouted gleefully and began to undo his own pants, unhooking the metal clasp and pulling down the zipper.

 

Fraser quickened his pace, yanking down his denims and boxers in one swift motion, beating Ray in their race to be naked by a few milliseconds. Ray was still kicking his stubborn briefs off his bare feet, cursing under his breath.

 

They both lay there naked on the bed gasping, staring at each other with hesitation, overwhelmed by the enormity of what they were about to do to each other.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Benny. Oh, God,” Ray groaned, burying his face into the pillow, not believing what he was seeing.

 

“So are you, Ray.”

 

“Come on, Benny. I don’t think I’m--”

 

“I’m not blind, Ray. You’re beautiful.” Fraser slipped his arm under Ray’s waist and pulled the man up onto his chest. Ray shouted when his sensitive organ brushed against Fraser’s own swollen shaft.

 

“Ray, you feel wonderful.”

 

“Not as much as you do, Benny.” Ray was touching pale skin everywhere, his fingernails scraping over Fraser’s sensitive nipples and his tongue lapping at the hollow of Fraser’s throat.

 

The Mountie squirmed under the playful, wet touches. “Now, Ray, I assure you that--”

 

“Will you shut up?”

 

Ray smoothed Fraser out on the mattress, his fingers skimming over Fraser’s stomach and hips, his hands finally settling to frame either side of Fraser’s groin and the towering length that rose from the dark patch of hair. The Italian slipped down his lover’s body until his mouth was within striking distance of Fraser’s cock.

 

“Um, Benny. Didn’t I promise you I’ll have my mouth on your cock?”

 

Fraser watched his friend fulfill his promise when that warm mouth swallowed him whole, the shocking sight of it making Fraser breathless.

 

“Ray!”

 

Ray pulled in Fraser to the root of his cock, sucking and swallowing the flesh deep into his mouth, his hands sliding under and molding firmly against Fraser’s buttocks.

 

“Ray!” Fraser lost control of hips and jerked wildly into Ray’s mouth, spilling all of his soul down Ray’s throat.

 

Fraser took Ray firmly by his arms and he pulled the slender body gently up to meet Ray face to face. Fraser’s brow was slightly furrowed with worry. Ray blinked in confusion.

 

“What’s wrong, Benny?”

 

“I was just thinking, Ray…”

 

“Oh no.”

 

“Ray, I have to ask you… what of Miss St. Laurent? Did you not say you think she wants you?”

 

“Oh, crap.” Ray sighed regrettably and shook his head at the flippant comments he had made in the courthouse.

 

His pursuit of the district attorney was yet another feeble attempt to deny the secret yearnings he had for his best friend for so long. Inevitably he knew his attempt to hide the gaping hole in his soul wouldn’t work. Although he did try his best Ray could not quell the love he had felt for Benton Fraser.

 

And as for what Louise felt for him Ray was no fool.

 

“Benny, she probably wants me six feet under and pushing up pansies, okay? And if it was her damn birthday she would probably want you to join me there, too.”

 

“Now, Ray, you’re exaggerating. I don’t think she would seriously want us both dead.”

 

The detective gave him a candid look.

 

“Well honestly, Ray, I did say she appeared as if she wanted to kill you, but still…”

 

“I know what I feel. I want only you, Benny. I know it now more than ever. I have always wanted you. And you want me too, do you?”

 

“I want you, Ray, and you have me.” Fraser smiled assuredly.

 

“Listen to me, Fraser. We have to be very careful around Louise, okay?” Ray warned him sternly, remembering the DA’s persistent pursuit of them both during the whole Victoria incident. “Louise thinks we’re dirty cops, Benny.”

 

Fraser reached down and quickly grabbed Ray’s balls, tugging and squeezing them gently. “Now why would she think that of us, Ray?”

 

Ray yelped, hiking his hips in surprise, his hazel eyes wide. “Benny! You’re a naughty Mountie!”

 

“I got you right where I want you, Ray.” Fraser rolled the perfect spheres between his fingers, luxuriating in their velvety softness, their sweet fullness.

 

“Oh yeah, my book monitor babe!” Ray jumped up with a growl and straddled his friend’s strong thighs.

 

“Oh, yeah.” Ray began to stroke his Fraser’s smooth skin all over. “Now I got you right where I want you, Benny.”

 

“That would seem to be the case, Ray,” Fraser conceded with a moan.

 

“So what about you, Benny?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“Do you have any secret crush I don’t know about?” Ray grinned wickedly at him and he lowered his voice to a soft, conspiratorial whisper. “What was up between you and Big Carl?”

 

“I’ve absolutely no idea to what you are referring to,” Fraser replied innocently and cocked his head to the side.

 

“Both you and Big Carl didn’t do, um… you know?” Ray then made some funny gestures with his hands that even the naïve Mountie understood. “Big Carl did save our lives in prison, Fraser. I wonder why?”

 

Fraser turned bright red with embarrassment. “That’s just silly, Ray! I only offered my fellow inmate Carl my serving of breakfast and loaned him a copy of Elgar B.P Darlington’s ‘The Circus Boys on the Flying Rings’.”

 

“Goddamn you, Fraser! Carl probably wants to marry you now! And all you could offer me was stupid Proust!”

 

“I’m truly and grievously sorry, Ray. Will you allow me to make it up to you?”

 

“I’m way ahead of you, baby.” Ray positioned himself carefully into Fraser’s lap, moving his hips precisely forward and maneuvering himself against Fraser’s heated groin. Their erect cocks were now touching tip to tip.

 

Both of them gasped and shuddered at the gentle contact of skin.

 

“I believe we have some sort of cosmic connection here, Benny.”

 

Fraser stared at their connecting cocks. “Are you trying to be funny, Ray?”

 

Ray grinned slyly, gazing deep into Fraser’s eyes when his face suddenly became serious and reflective, as if he had found heavenly inspiration. “No, I think I really mean it, Fraser.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah, I do. It’s like I feel we cannot be separated, it doesn’t feel right. I really can’t explain it, but what I do know is I simply need you here. I feel… oh damn, maybe I’ve read too much of that Proust crap you gave me.”

 

“Ray?”

 

“I feel we need to be together this way, like this always. It feels so right.” Ray glanced down at their touching cocks, weeping and exchanging pre-cum to intermingle like blood in a pact. “I think we’re a perfect fit. What do you think?”

 

Fraser nodded his head, grunting harshly in agreement. He was too aroused to be eloquent and too shy to admit it.

 

Ray smiled sympathetically at him and he began rocking his hips, sliding and snaking their shafts in sweet unison. Fraser shuddered and fucked back with his own hips, meeting his partner stroke for stroke, mesmerized by the sight of Ray’s body sleek with sweat. The slender Italian moaned appreciatively and he increased his pace against his lover, racing frantically over him like a bow over violin strings.

 

All Fraser could do was cry out under this glorious onslaught.

 

“Oh my! Ray!”

 

As their movements became frantic and more erratic Ray quickly snared both of their jolting cocks with his hand, holding them together very tight, and soon one pale hand joined his holding on tight for the ride.

 

“Benny! That’s it! Hold on!”

 

Ray reached up with his other free hand to cover Fraser’s firm grip on their dicks and Fraser followed suit again, interlocking all of his fingers with Ray’s.

 

Fraser was now panting through his mouth, “Ray! Ray! I’m going to…”

 

“Oh, Benny! I bet we come together! I know it! I bet my life on it! Oh fuck!”

 

“Ray! I belong here! This is where I belong!”

 

Both men screamed as they exploded into each other’s hands, and they remained rigid and locked together this way with warm cum spilling between their united fingers, sealing their bond in love.

 

Fraser fluttered his eyes open and found Ray staring down at him with his mouth wide open. Ray swayed in the air for a moment and collapsed onto Fraser’s chest, panting and laughing against snowy-white skin.

 

“Ray?”

 

“I knew it. I knew we come together,” Ray sighed happily. “I just knew it.”

 

Fraser smiled under the sweaty Chicago cop. “You are very wise man, Ray.”

 

“Damn right I’m wise.”

 

“Although, Ray, you still have much to learn about humility--”

 

“Shut up, Benny.”

 

“Understood.”

 

<><><><> 

 

Ray now strolled out of the judges’ chambers with the biggest grin he could plaster on his face. Nothing feels good as feeling so right, and so vindicated, too. Oh God, did he feel so right!

 

He had to apologize to the judge and kiss her butt a little, but what the hell? He was a man in love, and he was certainly a man ready to kiss some serious Mountie butt tonight.

 

Vecchio!” Louise St.Laurent called after him in the hallway of the courthouse and he turned gracefully to meet her fierce gaze. “This does not end here,” she stated defiantly.

 

“I should hope not.” Grinning even wider, Ray quickened his pace down the hallway after slam-dunking his case notes into the trashcan.

 

This Italian cop had a date to keep.

 

Ray wondered as he climbed into his Riv that maybe he should have a big surprise awaiting Benny when the Mountie arrived at the apartment. Maybe he should sprawl himself out naked on Benny’s bed with a box of chocolates or something.

 

Or maybe he should just smear his whole body with chocolate?

 

<><><><> 

 

Fraser cleared his throat and began his humble little speech for Inspector Margaret Thatcher, the one he rehearsed in his head during his shift on guard duty. “Yes, sir. I want you to know I’ve given very serious thought to the matter of a transfer.”

 

The Inspector looked at him closely from behind her desk. “And?”

 

“While I find the prospect of returning home appealing, I would prefer not to leave at this time. I’ve come to feel that I, um…” Fraser now stammered as he recalled the true reason for his staying here in Chicago had lain naked and writhing under him with beautiful hazel eyes only last night.

 

*Oh dear!*

 

“You feel that maybe in a small way you have something to offer them,” Thatcher suggested helpfully to the Mountie.

 

*Actually, something to offer him* Fraser thought and he tried desperately not to blush at his smutty motives. He believed he did have something worth offering the inhabitants of Chicago now that Ray was part of his soul. Everything was now worth fighting for and Ray will be there to cheer him on.

 

Fraser responded hastily, “Yes, sir.”

 

Inspector Thatcher seemed satisfied enough with his final decision to remain in the United States of America. “Dismissed.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Fraser left her office quickly with a sigh of relief. He was still alive and still in Chicago. And he wanted to stay here in Chicago with Ray even if it meant wearing a dead animal on his head.

 

*Thank God for Ray.*

 

His next goal in life now was to get back to his apartment as soon as humanly possible. Ray had said he’ll be there waiting for him and Fraser did not want to be late. He quickened his pace down the hall and out the door of the Canadian consulate.

 

Hopefully Ray will be there before he arrived, maybe waiting naked on his narrow bed to greet him joyfully with wide-open arms and legs.

 

And perhaps Ray had a surprise for him too, and Fraser wouldn’t be surprised if Ray did have a surprise. Somehow he knew. Fraser couldn’t explain it, but he knew it very deep in his soul. Ray did say they both shared some sort of cosmic connection.

 

Could such a thing exist between two souls?

 

Smiling at the thought, Fraser now hurried to his destination and quite oddly he was suddenly in the mood for some chocolate.

 

 

-The End-

 

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