Disclaimer: Tiara, Kagetsu, and all Shamanic Princess characters belong to Mitsuru Hongo, Atsuko Ishida, and Asami Watanabe, not me!
Author�s notes: This is an Alternate Universe fanfic. I have altered all of the plot, relationships, and characters of Shamanic Princess to fit my story!
Treasure in My Life
Chapter 2: Pearls of Doubt [part 1]
I looked down at the words of the humanities book in front of me. I pouted as I tried to read them, to understand them, to somehow remember them for my upcoming final, but I can't. They blurred together into one incoherent blob of letters, so my thoughts wandered, taking on a form of their own�
It's been two weeks since that day. That day that I� I�
I broke down. I still can't believe that I let myself get so worked up over something so silly�
I shook my head in a desperate effort to shake off the memory of that day.
Anyways, now it's almost the end of my first year in college, and I've been frantically struggling with tedious assignments, difficult readings, and memorizing countless flash cards. When I'm not studying, I've been cleaning my dorm room, reorganizing my messy chest of clothes, and packing for the move back to my dad's house for the summer.
Basically, I've been doing anything and everything to keep myself busy, to distract myself, so that I wouldn't think about him.
And it's been working. I mean, come on, it's not like I need him. If he doesn't want to come and see me, why should I want to see him?
I don't let myself think like that. I don't like it when a person cares about another at a different level than that other person cares for them. Someone always gets hurt that way... and I'm sorry, but that's just not for me.
I've seen more than enough of that already� I've seen too many people hurt by the ones they love.
Especially when the ones they love don't love them back�
I've always vowed that I wouldn't let that happen to me. Every time I watched someone cry tears of loss, of pain, of heartache, my resolution would only grow stronger.
Memories from the past flooded my mind� Leon, crying over the one girl that he loved ever since he was a child� My parents, who loved each other so much that they hated each other, getting divorced� And Kagetsu, coldly saying those last words to me at graduation�
There he was, waiting for me on a small hill overlooking the place where our graduation ceremony had just ended. He told me that he loved me� And I told him that I didn't love him back.
A lonely tear fell down his face as he said softly, determinedly� coldly, "Goodbye, Tiara."
He turned around and walked away from me, never looking back.
Suddenly, the winds grew stronger and blew my hair ferociously, making the ribbons holding up my pigtails fall to the ground. My loose golden hair flowed in the chaotic winds of change�
I could have called out to him. I could have run after him. But, I didn't do anything.
All I did was stand there and watch him go.
A tear threatened to fall from my eyes. I scowled inwardly at myself and shook my head.
No more tears� I can't cry anymore�
I can't be weak anymore�
I won't be.
Maybe that's why I don't let people get to me... or hurt me. I've fallen for guys before... although not many. I end up liking them a lot, but if I can tell that they are interested in someone else or that they just aren't interested in me, I force myself to forget about them� to stop caring about them.
And it works.
It even worked with Graham, the one guy I thought I couldn't learn how to forget�
So what it boils down to is if Kagetsu doesn't care about me- whether as a friend or something more- I'm determined not to care about him.
Satisfied with that decision, I finally continued to read my humanities textbook. I can't get distracted by personal issues so close to finals anyway. I'll have more than enough time to deal with whatever drama comes my way during the summer. Although� I'm not going to let it get that far anyways. I don't know what my feelings for Kagetsu are, but I'm going to make sure that they don't get out of control�
Ack� I stuffed my face into the book. There I go again, thinking about him, when I said that I wouldn't�
What's wrong with me?
I sighed heavily and sat back up. I was just about to seriously read the textbook when my cell phone rang.
Argh! I pouted again as I picked up my phone. "Hello?"
"Tiara, it's me, Kagetsu."
A pain tightened in my chest. "Kagetsu? Oh� hi!"
"How have you been, Tiara?"
It felt so weird to hear his voice again� So weird� but kind of nice too.
"I've been good! But I'm like totally scared about finals though!" I laughed, hoping to come off as cheerful�
As happy.
Even though I knew I was far from it.
"Ah, that's right; the school year is almost over for you. Are you excited about going home?"
Yes and no�
Yes, because of you.
No, because of you.
Kagetsu�
"Yup! I can't wait to see everyone again!" And that's true� I really want to see everyone from high school, like Lena and Leon. I want to see my mom and dad too. And of course� I want to see you.
"But," I continued, "This year seriously flew by so fast!" My voice softened a little. "I'm kinda sad that my first year of college is already ending�"
"Yeah, that's true. But, all things must come to an end."
The severity in his voice caught me by surprise. That was pretty cold, Kagetsu�
But what else should I expect from you? You've always been more realistic, more cynical� just more cold, than everyone. I can't expect you to comfort me with sweet, warm words of hopeful optimism.
I'd be na�ve if I believed that.
And believe me, I've lost my naivety long ago�
"I guess so�" But�
What if I don't want some things to end?
What if I wished with all my heart that some things from the past didn't ever have to end?
Like you and me�
"Tiara�"
Hearing him say my name shook me from my reverie. "Oh, so, anyways, what's up? How are you enjoying the beginning of your summer vacation? I totally envy you for getting done with finals like a month earlier than me! Did you call me to gloat, huh?" I grinned and hoped he would take the hint and let me change the subject.
He laughed. "I'm loving it, actually. No more all-nighters of studying, no more impossible midterms and finals, and no more fights with roommates. I get to sleep in for as many hours as I want, I get�"
My eyes narrowed as I softly punched the textbook in front of me. "You get to see Lena."
He stopped in the middle of his sentence, surprised by the interruption.
"Oh whoops, that was pretty random!" I forced out a laugh once again. "I guess I just miss her, and I wish I could see her."
Kagetsu's deep voice softened. "Tiara� I know how you feel. I've missed her a lot too. But don't worry, you'll be able to see her soon. After all, that's actually what I called to ask you about�"
He called me to talk about her� I should have known... "Aw, thanks, you're right... Finals will be over in like a week, so I can totally go see her! So, what did you want to tell me?"
"You've heard about the concert for her music class, right? Lena is going to have a few important parts in several pieces of music and she even will have a big solo. She's been practicing her flute diligently for the past month, since it means so much to her."
"Actually, she hasn't mentioned it to me yet." Why wouldn't she tell me about something that's so important to her?
We used to tell each other everything� All the little things, like what movies we watched on TV that night, and all the big things, like what was secretly hurting us�
We were so close then� and aren't we still now?
Doesn't she still think of me as her best friend�?
"Oh? I guess it just didn't come up. Well, I think that it would mean a lot to her if we surprised her by going to her concert. She doesn't expect us to, and you know that she's too shy to ask us to go. What do you think? Would you like to go?"
What do I think? I� I don't know what to think about all this� "Of course I do!! When is it?"
"Next Thursday at 7:30 PM. If you want, I could drive over to your school and pick you up and take you to her school. I'll get to your place at like 5:30?"
"Sure, that sounds great! I'm looking forward to it! Maybe we can embarrass her by taking pictures and stuff!"
He laughed. "That's perfect!"
"Okay, thanks for calling me up and letting me know about all of this. I've got to go study some more now, so I'll talk to you later!"
"All right, good luck with your finals! Leon and I will see you next Thursday!" With that, Kagetsu hung up the phone.
A sigh escaped my lips as I put down my phone. Wow, I've never heard Kagetsu so� cheerful? Light hearted? I guess he was like that because he was talking about her�
Maybe he's changed from the cold guy I once knew.
It definitely looks like the person he holds close to his heart has changed�
I shook my head. Damn it� Stop thinking like that! Stop, stop, stop thinking about him!!
Well, I guess that's going to be hard considering I have to see him in like a week.
Shit.
Exasperated, I pressed a hand to my throbbing forehead. Ouch, now I have a headache�
This is gonna be one long week.
Chapter 2, pt.2
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