| Colonel Fitzwilliam Interferes - Chapters 8&9 |
| Chapter 8 Winter turned to spring, and March saw the Fitzwilliams still at Halgian, Elizabeth still childless and Richard more concerned about the escalating war. Everything hinted at his imminent departure to join the army on the Iberian Peninsula, but he was certain that they would at least respect his upcoming first wedding anniversary and wait until midsummer. On a cool night in early March, the happy couple was getting cozy under a blanket near the fire when an express arrived for Fitzwilliam. His stomach tightened, but he kept a smile for Elizabeth�s sake. �I�ll wager this is our invitation to Rosings for Easter darling,� he joked, eliciting a sweet giggle from his wife. One glance at the seal, however, told him the missive was not from Lady Catherine, but his commanding officer. Fitzwilliam�s jovial face suddenly turned grim as he read the letter. Concerned, Elizabeth placed her hand on his arm. �What is it my dear?� she asked softly. He did not reply until he had finished the letter and crumpled it in his fist. �I am being sent to Portugal,� he replied in a tone of quiet fury. �Portugal! I have not been married a year, and they are sending me to war!� he yelled. Elizabeth paled, her eyes wide with shock. Impulsively, she embraced him. �Must you go? I don�t understand why they must send you, now!� she sobbed into his shoulder. He held her possessively, his blood boiling with anger. He considered his situation, planning what to do to get out of this duty for just a little longer; the more he thought, though, the more he realized that it would be impossible. He had already been warned by his commander that they would be sent soon, and the shortage of men inevitably meant that he could not buy his way out of the battle. Anger turned to despair at the thought of leaving Elizabeth� perhaps forever. �I must,� he whispered in reply. �There is nothing that can be done. I must go.� * * * * * * * * * * * * �Portugal? Now? Is it absolutely certain?� Darcy asked frantically. Fitzwilliam nodded solemnly. �The loss of men has been great, and I cannot buy my way out. I have already tried every avenue; I must go.� Darcy placed a reassuring hand on Fitzwilliam�s shoulder. �I am grieved indeed Fitzwilliam. This could not have come at a worse time, I am sure.� His cousin smiled bitterly. �Well, I suppose it could� at least Elizabeth is not with child.� Darcy swallowed hard, unable to support the thought of Elizabeth carrying anyone�s child but his own. It was indeed a blessing that she had not yet conceived. Clearing his throat, he regained his composure and tried to change the subject. �So what brings you here? I imagine that you would rather be home than with me!� he said, hoping to sound lighthearted. �I wish to ask a favor of you Darcy. I� I want you take care of Elizabeth,� Fitzwilliam replied shakily, wishing (for many reasons, not the least of which was jealousy) that he did not have to ask this favor of the man before him. �I want you to take her to Pemberley with Georgiana and yourself while I am gone. I do not wish to leave her alone in our house, and I don�t think Hertfordshire is the ideal place for her either, not even Netherfield.� Darcy nodded, agreeing with the wisdom of not sending her to Mrs. Bennet in her time of distress. However, he was almost equally certain that entrusting Elizabeth to his care was not a prudent decision either. �Can she not stay with your parents, or your brother?� Richard shook his head. �My parents are out of the question. For one thing, they are they going to be traveling in Ireland through the summer, a trip Elizabeth is not interested in at the moment. And then, you know my mother; she would condole with Elizabeth daily of my absence, meaning well but succeeding only in hurting her more. As for my brother� would you leave someone you cared about with that wife of his?� he shuddered. �No, Darcy, she must go to Pemberley. Please� I am begging you.� Reluctantly, Darcy extended his hand. �Very well� if she desires it, Georgiana and I shall take her to Pemberley.� Fitzwilliam shook Darcy�s hand forcefully. �Thank you Darcy. You know not what this means to me. You are a true friend.� Darcy forced a smile and waved off the compliment. Do not be too hasty with your praise, cousin. Let us see how true I prove to be with the constant temptation of the woman I love under my roof! he thought ruefully, praying that his sense of honor would carry him through the ordeal with no greater sin on his soul than impure thoughts of another man�s wife. * * * * * * * * * * * * The Fitzwilliams returned to their home in the country, but came to London a fortnight before Richard was to ship out. They stayed at the Darcy townhouse to allow for easier preparation to Elizabeth�s removal to Pemberley. This was a difficult time for Darcy; his cousin had requested only one room for himself and Elizabeth instead of separate chambers, and the thought that he fell asleep each night and awoke each morning with Elizabeth by his side was enough to drive Darcy mad. He tried to force images of the two of them making love out of his head, but Fate was cruel. At last, the day arrived for Fitzwilliam to leave for Portugal. Goodbyes were long and painful, and Darcy and Elizabeth stood on the dock until the ship was long out of sight. When the mast was no more than a dot against the horizon, Elizabeth fell to her knees and began to weep. Darcy quickly helped her up and kept his hold so she would remain standing. She wept into his shoulder for God knows how long, while he kept his arms around her and closed his eyes, allowing himself to pretend for just a moment that she was his. When she finally stopped crying, he forced himself to pull away slightly and ask if she was ready to return to the townhouse. She nodded and they were on their way. * * * * * * * * * * * * The trip to Pemberley was a painful ordeal for them all. Elizabeth had reluctantly agreed to go, as her other options were not quite so palatable as spending time with an understanding friend in the form of Georgiana in a place large enough for her to have relative solitude. She dearly wished to have Jane with her, but the thought of her mother being so near made going to Netherfield impossibility. No, Pemberley was the best place, although she dearly wished the choice didn�t need to have been made at all. Darcy watched Elizabeth in silence for most of the two-day journey. Even with her face drawn and streaked with tears she was still as beautiful to him as when she smiled. This was going to be difficult indeed. There are few sights more beautiful than Derbyshire in the summer, and even Elizabeth�s melancholy could not resist the joys to be found in the wild, untamed beauty of Pemberley�s grounds. She walked outdoors often, sometimes alone, sometimes with Darcy or Georgiana or both. Every two or three weeks, when a letter would come from Richard, she would take it out to some hidden grove and weep as she read of his peril. He tried to keep them general, making only the vaguest comments about their position, never mentioning casualties, and repeating over and over how much he loved and missed her. She faithfully sent her replies to whatever address he instructed her to send them to, and was gratified when he mentioned receiving them. On the day of their first wedding anniversary, she took the short stack of letters she had to her favorite spot and cried more passionately than she had ever done. Her loneliness, however, was not nearly as acute as her husband�s. She had Georgiana as a confidante, Darcy was even kinder now than he had been at Christmas, and she was surrounded by luxury and beauty. The separation was still difficult, but at least she did not have to be alone, or at war. Her biggest difficulty, to be honest, was fighting her growing attraction for Darcy. Without Richard�s presence, she found it more difficult to keep his cousin out of her mind. It had not worried before because she had written it off as mere physical attraction for an obviously handsome man. Now, though, she found herself becoming attracted to the man for who he was: someone thoughtful, considerate, generous, and whose tastes were, much to her surprise, often compatible with hers. She knew her feelings were dangerous and that she should avoid him, but she felt drawn to him, finding his presence comforting when her loneliness was at its worst. Darcy was fighting similar battles within himself, though his were far more raging and violent. Each morning he awoke determined not to seek her out, or, if he did run into her, keep conversation brief and leave as soon as possible. He was sometimes successful, on his strongest days, in his resolution not to seek her out; he was less so when it came to avoiding her when she was already in his company. All it took was one smile in his direction, and he would melt completely; he could not deny an invitation to walk the gardens or listen to the latest duet she and Georgiana had been practicing. His mind screamed at him to keep his distance, but every other particle in his body gravitated towards her as if by some indomitable force. Things grew more difficult for them when Elizabeth didn�t hear from Fitzwilliam for the entire month of July. Her grief reached its highest peak, and Darcy did his best to comfort her during this difficult time. She confided her deepest fears to Darcy: that Fitzwilliam was dead, or if not yet dead, would die in battle and never return. When she broke down sobbing, he did not resist the urge to hold her in his arms. In fact, as time wore on, he stopped resisting many urges; he kissed her hand each night, accompanied her on a daily hour-long stroll, and always found something to do in the library when she was there reading. At last, two letters arrived from Fitzwilliam in August, forcing Darcy to remember his duty to his cousin and giving Elizabeth much needed respite from her anxiety over her husband�s condition. Watching the relief and happiness that the letters brought to Elizabeth, Darcy tried to appease his own consciousness by attributing his more personal attentions to the care she needed and was entitled to. Fitzwilliam�s recent letters spoke of the soldiers moving into Spain, getting nearer to France. He had been unable to send the first letter immediately because of this displacement, and by some postal fluke the two had arrived simultaneously. She read them over and over, relieved that her husband was still alive and thriving on the continent. What she did not foresee was that now her mind, less troubled by thoughts of Fitzwilliam, turned again to thoughts of Darcy. She thought of his compassion during her darkest moments, and how concerned he had looked, holding her hand, whispering in her ear that it would be alright. She denied it to herself over and over again, but the truth was gnawing away at her heart: she was falling in love with Fitzwilliam Darcy. * * * * * * * * * * * * Days turned into weeks, and the inhabitants of Pemberley felt the chill of autumn descending as September arrived. Both Elizabeth and Darcy knew that they spent too much time together, that it was almost indecent and may soon cause speculation, but neither one had the heart to stop; they had a bittersweet joy in each other. He felt himself to be in particular danger because each day he saw new signs of an awakening of feeling in her. As long as he knew that she loved only her husband, nothing could defeat his sense of honor; however, if she loved him in return, he would no longer be able to vouch for his self-control. At least evenings were spent with Georgiana in the music room, often with the three of them performing together: Georgiana on piano, Elizabeth sometimes joining her and usually singing, and Darcy adding his rich baritone to Elizabeth�s alto. One night, however, the entertainment changed. Elizabeth had declined to sing that evening, a sore throat brought on by the cooling weather preventing her from performing. Instead, she and Darcy read as Georgiana played several new pieces she had been learning. When she began to play a lively Scottish air, Darcy smiled mischievously, put down his book, and leaned over to speak to Elizabeth. �Do not you feel a great inclination, Mrs. Fitzwilliam, to seize such an opportunity of dancing a reel?� She looked up at him oddly, as if trying to discern where she had heard those words before. To help jog her memory, he continued, �You may reply however you wish. I shall not dare despise you for any answer you make.� Her lips curled into a smile when she finally recognized their dialogue from Netherfield. �In that case, Mr. Darcy, I shall say that yes, I do feel an inclination to dance a reel, regardless of whether it will earn your contempt to say so,� she replied impertinently. �No contempt at all, my dear lady. I would be very happy if you honored me with this dance.� With a smile, she put down her book and took his hand. They danced playfully, laughing more than talking. Halfway through they began inventing their own steps, and Darcy pulled her a bit closer to himself than was customary, close enough to detect her lavender fragrance. He spun her around under his arm, making her laugh that delightful laugh he so adored. Not for a moment did he release her hand. When the song ended, he drew her near again and clasped her other hand. She looked up at him laughing and blushing, and their eyes met for one terrible, wonderful instant. Elizabeth was first to look away and take a step back, and freed her hands to applaud Georgiana. Darcy continued to stare at her, wondering at her reaction. Elizabeth turned back to Darcy and curtseyed, not daring to meet his eye again. She had seen a depth of emotion there that she had been trying to ignore in him for several weeks, and it frightened her. Not trusting herself to remain downstairs any longer, she pleaded overexertion and needing rest for her cold and retired early. Her thoughts, however, did not leave the room with her. Her mind was full of him, her heart swelling with fear and desire. She admitted to herself that she had never reacted as strongly to Fitzwilliam as she did to Darcy, but she could not decide if this was due to the lure of forbidden fruit or because she truly loved Darcy more than she loved her husband. It was not a pleasant question to have to answer, and the debate raging in her brain refused to let her sleep. She tried desperately to relive her happiest moments with Fitzwilliam: evenings spent cuddling at Halgian, walks in the garden, their first Christmas together� But in all of these thoughts, Darcy would intrude. She could not think of her home without thinking that Darcy�s generosity had made it possible for them to live there. She could not think of Christmas, for that had been at Pemberley, and the time when she had first begun to feel a deeper regard for Darcy. It was not that loving Darcy made her love Fitzwilliam any less, that was not where her guilt lay; rather, it was the fact that she thought about any man at all, particularly her husband�s cousin, while still loving her husband as dearly as she ever did. She didn�t understand how it was possible, but she finally had to acknowledge that she loved two men, in different ways, the second with an ardor at least equal to that for the first. It disturbed her, and she hated herself for it. Long after the ladies had retired, Darcy sat in his library, coat, vest, and cravat discarded, sipping thoughtfully on a brandy. He allowed himself the pleasure of reliving his dance with Elizabeth, the feel of her delicate fingers in his. He could still smell the delightful scent of her hair and hear the sparkling sound of her laughter. This was torture; the way she had looked at him, her sweet blush, had convinced him once and for all that his love was not unrequited, and yet he could not have her. Each day he felt his heart break into smaller and smaller pieces with the knowledge that she would never be his. With one large swallow, he drowned his sorrows in brandy and poured himself another. Halfway through the emptying of this one, he heard the library door open and someone enter. His breath caught in his throat when he realized that it was Elizabeth, and he jumped to his feet. �Eli� Mrs. Fitzwilliam!� he forced himself to say. Elizabeth gasped in surprise. �Mr. Darcy! You frightened me!� �My apologies madam, I was surprised myself.� He felt his mouth go dry as his eyes took her in. She wore a thin robe over her nightgown, and her hair tumbled loose over her shoulders. The image was too similar to his dreams; it took all his will power to stand still. Elizabeth, too, was having a difficult time keeping her composure when she realized that he was clad only in shirt and breeches. �I am sorry to invade your privacy. I will merely take my book and return to bed.� He only nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Tearing her eyes from his form, Elizabeth turned to the shelf to get the book she was seeking. Unfortunately it was just beyond her reach; she stood on the tips of her toes, but could not quite grasp it. Darcy quickly strode over. �Allow me,� he said as he reached over her to get the sought-after book. She was so close he could feel the warmth emanating from her body. He knew that he should step away, that this was terribly improper, but he could not help himself. �Here you are,� he said softly, handing her the book. �Thank you,� she choked out. Then she made her fatal mistake: she lifted her eyes to meet his. Not even the strongest will could hide the depth of her emotions. Darcy saw the struggle within her, her reason battling her heart, and at that moment he knew that she loved him. His heart swelled with bittersweet joy, and in a sudden impulse, he drew her into his arms and embraced her tightly. She was at first too surprised to react, but before long she escaped his arms. �Mr. Darcy, please!� �I am sorry, very sorry my dear lady. I know not what came over me,� he replied sadly. �Please forgive me.� She nodded, unable to think ill of him for exercising an impulse she shared. Touching his hand lightly, she whispered good night and smiled. This was too much for him. He gripped her hand tightly. �I love nothing in the world so well as you Elizabeth!� he cried. She stared at him in shock. Surely her ears had betrayed her! Had he just spoken of his love for her? He loves me?! That thought echoed inside many parts of her body before she could make complete sense of his words, and when she finally did, her surprise was no less intense. The face that looked back at her spoke not of love, but of intense pain. �Do not look at me so! Surely this is not so great a surprise!� �Indeed, sir, I knew nothing of it, and I think it better that way,� she lied, her voice trembling. �I am a married woman, and you should not be making such declarations to me.� �I would not do so if I did not know that you love me too!� She stared at him with wide eyes. �I can see it, Elizabeth, the struggle within you. You love me as much as I love you! I know it!� He gripped her arms tightly. �Let me love you, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth� love me in return!� �Mr. Darcy! You are asking me to betray my husband, your cousin! He is at war, risking his life, and you talk of adulterous love!� What he saw in her eyes obliterated the meaning of her words. Honor, loyalty, propriety were defeated by a mere glance. Right and wrong; good or bad no longer made sense to him. There are moments in which reason amounts to nothing at all. He replied in the only manner he could. He took her in his arms and passionately kissed her. First Elizabeth tensed; she did not return his kiss, nor did she push him away. Then, for a moment, she allowed herself to indulge in the pleasure of his lips, tilting her head to allow him better access. Suddenly, she remembered herself, and pulled away forcefully. �How dare you!� she cried and slapped him hard across the face. Darcy put his hand to his cheek, shocked back into reality by the sting of her hand. �My God! I am so sorry Elizabeth!� he pleaded in shame, stumbling away from her. �Please, please forgive me! I beg you!� And with tears falling from his eyes, he ran from the library. Elizabeth could do nothing but stare as he disappeared. Chapter 9 Darcy awoke early the next day fearful of seeing Elizabeth. His behavior had been absolutely irresponsible, unjustified, and unpardonable. He had taken advantage of her in a weak moment, and he would likely suffer the consequences the rest of his life. Perhaps he would never see her again� he shuddered at the thought. A life bereft of her was no life at all. Still, today it was probably best that they be apart, so he dressed quickly and left the house to conduct estate business long before the ladies were up and about. When Elizabeth awoke, the same feelings of dread filled her. Darcy had seen through her mask last night, had seen the love she felt for him, and this left her more vulnerable to him than ever. Her lips still burned from his fiery kiss; she could not help thinking that she had never felt such intense passion with Richard. When she at last went down to breakfast, Georgiana informed her that Darcy had left early and would likely not return until late. This news brought relief and disappointment, but she knew this was the best way. The events of the library were still too fresh on their minds to allow for much interaction. She tried as best as she could to keep herself occupied throughout the day and not think of him. Sometime in the middle of the afternoon, an express came addressed to Elizabeth. Her heart froze with fear when she saw that it came from France. Mrs. Fitzwilliam, I regret to inform you that your husband, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, has been injured in battle in the Pyrenees with Lord Wellington�s army. He was moved with the army to a hospital in Gascony in the hopes of transporting him to England, but I fear that passage in military ships is impossible at this point, and his condition has deteriorated to a point where it is no longer safe to move him. He asked that you be informed of his condition and that you inform whomever you see fit. I am sorry, madam, but it is unlikely that he will survive this injury. Regretfully, Major G. Stokes As the words sank in Elizabeth felt another dread fill her soul. She may soon be a widow, that was bad enough. However, she realized that she may also not see her husband again before he died. Her ability to go to France was entirely dependent on Darcy, and after her violent rejection of him the night before, she was certain that he would not be of a mind to help her get to her husband. Unless� Elizabeth stopped her tears, resigning herself to what she knew must be done. She had to get to her husband, no matter what the cost. Darcy did arrive late that evening, after 10 o�clock, and went straight to his chamber. He had tried to exhaust himself with his work, but nothing had kept thoughts of Elizabeth at bay. As he slid into his bath, he let the warm water envelop him and soothe his pain. He stayed until the water began to turn cold, then dried off as best he could and put on his robe to sit by the fire a while. So deep was he in his thoughts that he barely heard the soft knock on his door. He stood in confusion, not knowing who it could be at this hour. When he opened the door, there, to his great surprise, stood Elizabeth, dressed as she had been the night before. �Elizabeth!� he whispered. �Are you unwell?� She made no reply, but stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She took in the sight of him in only his robe and felt her heart pound; she took a deep breath and removed her own robe, leaving only her thin nightgown. His eyes wide, he drank in the sight of her, unable to account for the present circumstances. Was she�? No, it could not be! �What� what are you doing?� he asked hoarsely. Again she did not speak, and instead stepped close to him and placed her hands on his chest. The feel of his muscles excited her, but she kept telling herself, This is for Richard!, and tried to ignore that voice that said, No, this is for you! She slowly moved her hands up on his shoulders and down his back, sending chills down his spine. At last he could contain himself no longer and threw his arms around her. Her work was now done; she would let him do the rest. He began to kiss her neck and face with fervor of passion long-denied. Her treacherous body responded with a desire that matched his own, but as his caresses grew bolder, her heart began to ache with guilt. Richard� he would die if he knew of this betrayal� Despite herself, her steely resolve began to weaken, and she felt the tears begin to fall. Darcy sensed the tension enter her body, and reluctantly pulled away. The look on her face shocked him. It was obvious that she did not want this. �Elizabeth, why are you here?� he asked, stepping away from her. �I�m sorry Mr. Darcy� I can�t!� she sobbed, and threw herself on the floor. �I received a letter today� Richard is wounded, and I must go to him.� �I repeat� why are you here?� he asked, unable to feel anger but only a deep sorrow. He felt as if a dagger was being twisted into his heart. �I� I rejected you so terribly last night, I knew you must be furious with me. I thought that perhaps if I� gave myself to you, you would take me to France to see him.� He sat on his chair dejectedly. �I am sorry, very sorry that you thought you had to do this to get my help. I assure you it is unnecessary. I would do anything for you, whenever you need me, without condition or price. My love for you is without condition or price,� he added softly. �Where is he?� �At a military hospital, on the Golfe de Gascogne. He is too hurt to be moved, but they fear he may not recover and have asked for my presence.� He nodded. �I shall make the arrangements at once. Go to bed, I will send for you when I have news.� Her eyes shone with gratitude, love, and admiration for this man who gave so unselfishly, even when it meant giving up that which he most wanted. She stepped over to the chair and stood over him, her hands on his shoulders. �Thank you Mr. Darcy� you know not what this means to me� what you mean to me,� she whispered tearfully. He put his arms around her waist and cried into the folds of her nightgown. �Please forgive me Elizabeth, all the wrongs I have done you� especially for loving you, for that is something I shall never be able to take back!� he sobbed. She leaned over and kissed the top of his head as she cried with him. �If you will forgive me for loving you back,� she replied. They held each other this way until the tears stopped, and Darcy finally forced himself to pull away. �Thank you for comforting me Mrs. Fitzwilliam,� he said, reminding himself of his duty to his cousin. �I will dress and begin planning our journey at once. Try to sleep for a few hours.� She nodded, disappointed that he had returned to the more formal appellation, but knowing it was right to do so. �Good night sir. I thank you again, a thousand times over.� With one last glance over her shoulder, she disappeared into the corridor, leaving both to wonder how something as profoundly wrong as their betrayal of cousin, friend, husband, could feel so intensely natural and right when he put his arms around her? * * * * * * * * * * * * True to his word, by the time Elizabeth was at breakfast the next morning, an express was already two hours on its way to Dover to inquire about passage to France. A few days later they had their reply: a ship bound for Medoc (to serve the illegal and very profitable trade) left in a week, and from there they could hire safe land passage to Southwest France along the coast. Darcy called Elizabeth to the library to share the news with her. �Can you be prepared to leave by sunrise tomorrow, Eli�Mrs. Fitzwilliam?� She took his hands and kissed them gratefully. �You may call me Elizabeth sir,� she whispered. �Yes, I can. Thank you.� He closed his eyes and stepped away from her. �Then we shall leave at that time.� He paused and took a deep breath, as if gathering strength, before continuing. �Obviously I must accompany you, and we may each take one personal servant, but we shall basically be traveling alone. You have my word that you can trust me not to take advantage of you during this journey. I realize that my behavior last night� and the night before were absolutely unpardonable, and I apologize. I promise that it will not happen again.� �Mr. Darcy, please, you are hardly the only one to blame. Do recall that I came knocking on your door in the middle of the night and offered myself to you. We both gave in to it, but we stopped. That is what matters.� �Believe me Elizabeth, I will recall the particulars of last night for a very long time,� Darcy replied, his voice straining. �But I swear to you that I will not lose my self-control again. You have no reason to fear me.� �Do you really think that I am afraid of you? I know that you would never harm me, or force yourself upon me. You proved that last night. At my slightest sign of hesitation you pulled away and honorably allowed me to walk away from the situation. No, sir, the only things I fear are my feelings towards you, and my absolute inability to control them. In all my thoughts I betray my husband� I don�t understand how either one of you could love me,� she confessed, the weight of her tormented mind at last forcing the tears to fall fast and hard. Darcy debated within himself for a moment, then again gave in to his heart as he took Elizabeth in his arms to comfort her. �Elizabeth, you are a beautiful, unique, incredible woman. I don�t understand how any man can keep from loving you,� he whispered as he stroked her hair. �I am to blame for your confusion; I have done everything in my power to become a man you could love, and I cannot say I do not at least partially rejoice in my success. I beg you, think on me no more� Richard needs you, he deserves you, he earned your love and your hand. I have only tried to steal it.� Elizabeth laughed through her tears. �I think we will never agree where the blame lays, sir. Let us agree to share it and be done.� She stepped away and extended her hand in truce. He took it gratefully. �Well, I should go pack I suppose. Thank you again Mr. Darcy, for everything.� She embraced him warmly, kissed his cheek, and left the library. * * * * * * * * * * * * The journey to France was as uneventful as a trip during war time can be. They were fortunate enough to have good winds and fast land transport all the way, and were able to procure separate chambers in all but one inn; even Darcy had been impressed at his self-control that night. So it was with honor intact and one day ahead of schedule that Darcy and Elizabeth arrived on the outskirts of ____, where the military hospital was located. He swiftly located the man in charge and arranged to have them in to see Richard immediately. As they walked through the hospital, Elizabeth tried to shut out the grisly images of the terribly wounded soldiers, and hoped Richard was not suffering nearly as much as they. �Colonel Fitzwilliam, you have a visitor,� said the doctor jovially. The young officer had become a favorite of his for his continued good humor despite his dire prognosis. Each day the colonel had become more drawn and pale, however, and he feared there was not much time left. �Who might that be doctor? I�ve told you, I�m a married man, no pretty young French girls for me!� Fitzwilliam laughed in reply. �No, not exactly�� The doctor nodded towards the unseen visitor and stepped out of his patient�s line of vision just before she reached him. Fitzwilliam sat up, his eyes wide and quickly misting over. �ELIZABETH! Elizabeth, my darling, is it really you?� he cried out, arms extended. Elizabeth flew into them sobbing. �Richard, I received a letter, I had to come see you! How I�ve missed you!� They held each other for several moments, murmuring endearments, exchanging kisses. �However did you get here?� Richard asked at last. Elizabeth kissed him again, then turned her head and nodded to where the doctor was standing and speaking to her travel companion. �Darcy?! He brought you here?� Elizabeth nodded. �Then I am yet again in his debt. Darce! Come here old man!� Darcy strode over and shook his cousin�s extended hand. �I understand that I have you to thank for bringing Elizabeth to me. You do not know what it means to me,� he said gratefully, voice choking with emotion. Darcy brushed him off. �Fitzwilliam, I have been speaking with your doctor. I�ve informed him that I will arrange transport for you and we shall all return to England together. You can receive far superior medical attention in London. Hopefully we will leave on the morrow.� �Thank you Darce,� Fitzwilliam replied weakly. �I appreciate your help.� Darcy smiled, then returned to the doctor to make further arrangements. �Elizabeth� I don�t think I�ll be returning to England with you.� �Of course you will Richard! You cannot stay in this awful place� it is only making your health worsen. When we reach London you will have better physicians, and�� he stopped her mouth with one finger. �My love, I am dying.� His words sank her heart like lead weights. �My leg was badly wounded by a bayonet, and I was not found for two days. It became infected, and the doctor says the infection has spread to my blood. The only way I am returning to England is in a box.� Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him and resumed her weeping. �No� no, it cannot be so hopeless! Surely there is something that can be done!� He shook his head, attempting to soothe her with soft kisses. �It�s alright darling� I�ve resigned myself to it. My only regret was that I would not live to see you again. And now, here you are� more beautiful than I remembered. I admit, it is harder to be resigned with such an inducement to live.� He tried to be lighthearted, but nothing could remove the solemnity of this moment. Darcy returned then, easing some of the tension. �Alright, Fitzwilliam, you shall come with us to the inn tonight. We will take along a nurse who can care for you. In the morning we board a ship that will take us directly to Portsmouth, and thence to London. With any luck we shall be there in a few days.� Fitzwilliam nodded; Elizabeth looked at Darcy with a look of utter gratefulness. The arrangements were made, and within the hour the three of them and a nurse were leaving the hospital. �I have arranged a room for the two of you, with the nurse�s room next door and mine beside that,� Darcy explained when they arrived at the inn. �Do not hesitate to call if you need either of us. Goodnight� He bowed and turned to go, but Fitzwilliam reached for his hand to have a private word. �Darcy� wait. Please allow me to thank you again, for all you have done for me. I don�t just mean today, but always. I wish for you the same happiness that your generosity has allowed me to have. And� you have my blessing, when I am gone, to achieve that happiness as you must.� Darcy turned away uncomfortably. �Your blessing to be happy? Well, thank you Fitz, but why would I need your blessing for that?� he laughed weakly. �Darcy, I�m not blind,� Fitzwilliam replied softly. �I�ve seen how you look at her. You shall be able to take better care of her than I ever could presume to. I know you love her� she deserves to be loved like that always. I had hoped that I would be the one to do it, but I could only have a brief time. Just� just do not let her forget me entirely.� Here he broke down and could speak no more. �Richard, I�� Darcy began, but was silenced with a wave of Fitzwilliam�s hand. �Don�t. Just let me have said it, and take it to heart. Good night.� �Good night,� Darcy choked out as his cousin called back the nurse to take him to his room. �There you are Richard,� Elizabeth smiled as the nurse helped him over to her. �I was wondering what had become of you!� He kissed her gently. �I had to speak with Darcy for a moment. Thank you Miss Smith, that will be all for tonight. I will not need the sleeping draughts.� The nurse curtseyed and retired to her own room. �God how I have missed you!� he cried to his wife, embracing her tightly. �And I you, my love.� After several minutes of fervent kisses, Richard pulled away and stroked her cheek. �Will you lay with me tonight darling?� She frowned with concern. �Are you strong enough? I would not wish to make you more ill.� He nodded. �Please. I need you.� She replied with the first of many kisses. * * * * * * * * * * * * Sometime in the night, Elizabeth heard a strained voice calling her name. She turned to see her husband�s pale face, eyes wide with fear. She knew: he was dying. �Lizzy� I�m so thankful I was able to hold you again. You have made me the happiest man alive from the moment you accepted my proposal. Thank you for making my life so wonderful.� His breathing was labored, and each word seemed to pain him. �Richard, please, you can�t give up now,� she sobbed. �I�m so sorry� I�m so sorry to leave you already. Promise me that you will go on. If you do not I will come back and haunt you!� he teased. She laughed weakly. �Elizabeth, I want you to remarry,� he said with all seriousness. �You are too young, and have too much to give to remain a grieving widow for the rest of your life.� �No, Richard, don�t do this.� He silenced her with a kiss. �Promise me Lizzy. Remember when you promised to love, honor, and obey? This is where the obey enters. Please promise me.� Elizabeth nodded, clasping his hands tightly and kissing them over and over. He smiled and relaxed. �Now that that is settled, let us go back to sleep.� He closed his eyes, and soon his breathing was slow and even. Elizabeth cried herself back into a deep slumber. When she awoke, she was a widow. Next section... |