Wouldn't you know it, I've lost my courage
Isn't that funny, me lost for words?
Not that it really matters, Cause I know you know
And you would've told me yourself if you could
I can see her out of the corner of my eye. She's sitting with him. They're snuggled up together and she has her head resting on his shoulder, I think he's comforting her about something. This is crazy, they don't belong together. Am I jealous? Hell yes. Someone who was once one of my best friends and my ex fianc�, the woman I once thought I'd be with forever. In each other's arms. I want to congratulate them and wish them the best of luck but I can't. Every time I try, my stomach knots up and I can't speak.
I'm too scared to approach either of them, especially now. I've spurned them both, now it looks like they've taken comfort in each other. It's strange - I've always been able to talk to them before. Right up until Billy took time off for injuries and Eddie started pulling the possessive crap with Chyna.
He kisses her on the forehead and brushes her hair back. Even from way back here I can see the tenderness in gesture. He squeezes past me and as he does, I grab him by the shirt and pull him down so my mouth is close to his ear.
"Hurt her," I warn him quietly, "And I will kill you with my bare hands."
I hate feeling this way about two people I once cared about so much. Especially now, after Stephanie's little announcement.
Remember the first time we met each other?
You were in your world, I was in mine
breaking down the barriers, we broke all the rules
I watch Billy head off, admiring the view from the back. If nothing else appeals, he does have one fine ass. My stomach knots a little as I watch Hunter grab his shirt and whisper something in his ear, then Billy straighten his top and look annoyed. Goddamnit! Why the hell does he have to get involved? It's got nothing to do with him! He had his chance, he blew it. If he wants to play the jealous ex, then why the hell didn't he do it while Eddie was screwing me around?
I remember when Hunter and I first met. I was backstage and one of my shows, trying to get my portfolio looked at. We literally ran into each other, knocking my stuff to the floor. Hunter picked it up, looked at it and grinned, then wished me luck. I'm convinced that he played a major part in Vince hiring me, although he'll never admit it.
We got together when relationships between wrestlers weren't exactly tolerated. There was some casual screwing of course, but not a serious relationship. We were the first to become public with our relationship and that was only recently. We set a precedent, now relationships between coworkers are commonplace and almost expected.
Hunter keeps glaring at Billy as he settles back next to me and slides his arms around me. I can't explain what it is, but I love to know that he's there. I need him, I don't know why. Maybe it's because we've been so close for so long; this is just a natural extension of things. I run my hand up his leg and snuggle in. "What did Helmsley want?"
"Don't worry bout it baby." Billy says quietly, his face closing up. I can see a little pain & anger there - I'm willing to bet Hunter threatened him. Why now? Now I've finally found someone who understands me and loves me for who I am Hunter pulls this jealousy act. It's not right, especially now.
But wasn't it good, wasn't it fine?
While I took for granted
You took your time
Longing for love
Oh how we tried
Its over now that's understood...
But wasn't it good?
It was a lot of fun while it lasted; I'll never deny that. I loved her with all my heart, mind body and soul. I can't move on though and that scares me. Am I going to be pulling this same bullshit in ten years? Billy's gonna make her happy, I know that. I just can't accept them as a couple. I can look back on the good times, there were a lot of them. I can't help but wonder how far back Chyna's feelings for Billy go. It seems too serious to be new love. I should be happy for them, but I'm not. And I don't know why.
It was a lot of fun while it lasted; I'll never deny that. I loved him with all my heart, mind body and soul. He can't move on though and that scares me. Is he going to be pulling this same bullshit in ten years? Billy's making me happy, and I think he knows that. I don't think he can accept us as a couple. I can look back on the good times, there were a lot of them. I can't help but wonder exactly when I realised how much Billy meant to me, but I know I love him too much for it to be new love. Hunter should be happy for us, but he's not. And I don't know why.
So long together, two would be lovers
Caring for flowers that just wouldn't grow
And in all our tomorrows,
We'll have yesterdays
I never thought I'd see this happen. Chyna & I at war with Helmsley. But then, I never thought I'd see the day when the feel of Chyna's body curled up against mine would make me feel so complete.
I've known Chyna for so damned long, but I'm just discovering that I never actually knew her at all. I've always adored her, loved her but never like this. Now I'm in love with her. And deeply. I love her so intensley it scares me. Just a smile across the room, a small touch during a match or something to let me know she's there and my insides melt.
Back in the old days she was always so silent, so.. alone. Apparently it was different when she and Hunter were alone, but around the rest of us, she took the title of body guard damned seriously. But now she's so different! She laughs and jokes and is well liked backstage. We talk a lot too.
I don't know why Helmsley's pulling this shit now. He had his chance, he didn't take it, he should just get over it. He had her, he lost her, he should get over it. The only reason he's doing this is because he believes Stephanie's screwing around on him. But if she was, she wouldn't be having his baby would she?