for Darkflame, because this story is slashless I promise the next one will have lots. For shana, who listens ito my stupid ideas, and tells me which ones are really stupid and which ones will work, funny how almost all fall into the latter category. To Kay, for writing such amazin stories, I'd never try to do what you do, but I hope I've started to balze my own trail, or at least a deer track.
Underneath My Skin (1/1)
by lirpa
To think, I used to work for that man, that disgusting pervert. What does he think I am, some kind of whore? I don't sell my body to anybody, for anything. Not even my boyfriend's health. Matt will understand, he'll probably even agree with me. There is no way ine hell that I would ever sleep with Paul Heyman, ever. No matter who he threatens with what. Not even when it comes to Matt's safety against that ... goon on Sunday. I'm not a pawn, and Paul better learn that soon, or I'll take it upon myslelf to educate him bodily, although not the kind of bodily he would like, that disgusting little toad.
But that doesn't solve the immeadiate problem. Matt's still not likely to win at Basklash, even if he brings his chair. Lesnars strong, he's new to the business, he's got something to prove to the world, and he's got Heyman. He could be the deciding factor in the entire match. It worries me that the little snake will be out there, acting as Brock Lesnar's "agent". He'll really take any way that he can back into the world Wrestling Federation. And like with Stone Cold Steve Austin and Debra when you get one you get the other. Which isn't fair they should have been drafted seperately. God knows they split up the Dudleyz with their petty rivalries, and those two are brothers, or half brothers at least. It doesn't make any sense that a husband and wife should be left alone, unless she's his agent? I'm only confusing myself.
The fact reamins that Heyman is trying to get underneath my skin, and he's succeeding, as much as a I hate to admit it. Which may be the sole reaon for Heyman's offer. it sets me, and Matt, off guard. Makes us look over our shoulders continously for peeping toms with huge muscle bound bodyguards. Which is all that Brock Lesnar really is. Protection from all the people in the World Wrestling Federation who hate his slimy, conniving guts, and that's just about everybody, truth be told. But I have to admit Lesnar is the perfect protection. A big, hulking brute who can physically knock out anyone who opposes Heyman's twisted, convoluted plots and plans.
The only question remaining, what is Heyman going to have Brock Lesnar do to Mattwhen their match comes at Backlash. The May pay-per-view is actually Judgment day, but p[erhaps this will be out Judgment Day, the day to see if standing up to both man and monster, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman respectively, was the stupidest or smartest thing that Team Xtreme has ever done. Something tells me that this is going to come down on the stupid, not the insane, side.
But what other choices did I have? Had I accepted Heyman's offer I would have lost Matt. Because I didn't accept Heyman's offer I may still loose Matt. I hate no win situations, I positively loathe them. Brock Lesnar may beat Matt within an inch of his life this Sunday and tehre isn't anything I can do to stop it, because I threw away that oppotunity when I slapped the taste out of Heyman's mouth. And now Matt may pay for my impetousness. Even though he says I did the right thing I can't be sure. I don't want Matt hurt, but I know he would hve never looked at me again if i had taken Heyman's offer, especially for his sake. The man has his pride, damn him. Even if he thought I was trying to help him win he'd probably never speak to me again. But I want to see that that slimy toad gets what's coming to him. Matt will have to do it on his own, if he can. And if he can't at least he'll have tried his hardest, battled his heart out, and fought " to protect my honour". I'm through trying to explain Women's Liberation to that Southern boy. Actually I'm try to explain Women's Liberation to most Southern boys.
I suppose that after the fact you always feel you could have done soemthing differntly, handled the situation with more finesse. That's probably especially true when you're not sure of your desicion, like I am. Part of me says that I've done the right thing, that Heyman just would have demanded more and more to keep his hired thug away from Matt. And when he reached the point that I would give no more he'd have set that ... monster on to my friends, with all that bottled up anger from being forced to wait for the right time. But I still can't help but wish I could save Matt from suffering at all. Realistically I know that's not possible, but still, for once, I'd like to be the white knight, saving his ass from danger.it's not going to happen though, so I'll just have to regulate that dream to the back of my mind, after all it would do no good to broos over it. It would only make me sad, and then Matt would ask what was wrong and I'd either have to lie to him, and tell him everything was fine, or tell him the truth, which he would most definately not appreciate. After all, he's supposed to protect me, not the other way around. This is all about honour, first his honour as a wrestler and then my honour, as a woman and as his girlfriend. In my opinion, Matt just wants a reason to fight Brock Lesnar. Why? He doesn't really like Brock, this ametuer comes in and gets a huge push, while people who have worked their whole lives to get into this business are pushed aside, and forgotten. And that's not fair, we've all had to pay our dues, it shouldn't be different just because you were an ameteur first. But matt also doesn't like Paul. he thinks he's a back stabber, and he is, after all, anything to get ahead.I onlt hope that Matt doesn't allow his hatred to put him in a hospital bed after Backlash. After all a DQ win isn't a true win, not really. I hope his pride doesn't interfere either, because if it does we won't need a hospital be, we'll be talking to the Undertaker about caskets.