Two months. Two fucking months without one phone call. Was it too much to ask for? Too much to expect that the one you love should give a damn about you? Sighing in disgust, Lita rolled over onto her side and propped her back up against the sofa cushions, ever mindful of her injured neck.
�Trish�where are you?� She whispered pitifully, hating the fresh rush of scalding tears that came rushing immediately forth. It had been this way now for weeks. Every time Matt left her to go back onto the road she�d be fine - happy even. But then as the days wore on without hearing from anyone her mood would deteriorate into a landslide of depression. She could be laughing at something one second and then broken down in tears the next. She fucking hated it, being weak. And it was all because of her.
Her. Trish. The love of Lita�s life, the woman who had the ability to bring her to her knees with the mere toss of that glorious blond mane she loved so much. It was that same ability to rule her emotions that now had Lita�s heart cracked and bleeding like a goddamned sieve. How could she?
And she�d acted so scared for her lover when she�d heard of the operation and how long she was going to be out of action for. One year away from the ring and the WWE. One whole year sitting at home on her ass waiting to heal so that she could come back stronger than ever. Oh, Lita had loved the way Trish�s hazel eyes would fill with tears of concern, tears of love that spilled over and flooded a crystalline path down the alabaster perfection of her smooth cheeks. Had it all been an act? Thinking back on everything now, Lita couldn�t shake the doubts that maybe it had been.
Who was she kidding? Lita wondered morosely. Everyone knew that Trish considered their relationship to be just another way to pass the time, a diversion from the monotony of the road. It was the price they all paid for their fame and glory, to live a life practically secluded from normal society and all it�s comforts.
Unable to set down firm roots in any one place, it became the norm for her and the rest of her fellow wrestlers to just stop giving a fuck. They all had what they wanted in the recognition they garnered daily from millions of adoring fans, why should they long for any sort of normal existence or relationships? Trish sure as hell didn�t, that much was becoming painfully obvious now.
But Lita did, and maybe that was why this was hurting so bad. Knowing that the woman she�d given her heart to was probably even now off sleeping with some groupie who�d undoubtedly professed undying adoration and love for his or her favorite WWE superstar. It was a temptation frequently indulged in by many of her coworkers, accepting the na�ve advances of star struck young girls and then using them until they�d had their fill of them. Use and lose, the unspoken but ever present mentality of the sports entertainment business.
Or maybe Trish was enjoying the talents of another coworker? It was that thought that perhaps stung the most in Lita�s heart. A groupie she could deal with, being no more than glorified prostitutes who came and went was something that she was even willing to accept. Nameless faces who were there one night and gone by the morning were no threat, no matter how pretty or talented. No, it was the others that she couldn�t abide.
The thought of being replaced without a second thought was enough to rend her heart into pieces. Had she meant nothing to Trish at all? Somehow, Lita wasn't finding that concept all that unfeasible these days. It was all starting to make sense to her now, the more she thought and dwelled on it. How convenient it must have been for Trish, not even having to look beyond the locker room for a playmate. Fuck, how na�ve she�d been�
In the months that she and Trish had had together, it had always been about sex. Why Lita hadn�t been able to see that then, she wasn�t sure and could only blame it on the fact that she�d been so enamored with the stunningly beautiful young diva. From the very beginning of their affair, Lita had been sucked in completely.
Blinded by a perfectly molded body and a gorgeous smile, she�d fallen in love by the time they�d had their second date�and had been fucking like rabbits by the time the third rolled around. By that time it was way too late for Lita to pull out, she was too emotionally involved and didn�t even want to leave. How blind she must have been, to have missed all the signs that were now so glaringly obvious to her.
The phone calls that always seemed to be for Trish in the middle of the night, messages that would mysteriously appear in the blonde�s gym bag that would be read and then hastily destroyed as soon as Lita showed any interest. What had ever given her the idea that Trish was in their relationship for exclusivity?
So if that was true, Lita pondered, then why would she go through such pains to hide her infidelities? Why not flaunt them in the faces of her other lovers if she had no qualms about being unfaithful? Because she likes having control over you� taunted the annoying inner voice inside Lita�s head.
Well she�d had enough of it! Fuck Trish Stratus! She didn�t need her anymore, she could be strong without some psychotic bitch toying with her emotions. She could survive without Trish Stratus in her life�
�I don�t need you,� Lita murmured to herself as she forced herself to harden her heart. �I don�t fucking need you��
The phone rang.
She let it ring. Funny how she�d been dying to hear from someone now for months, it cold have been anyone for all she�d cared. But now�now it wasn�t all that important anymore. Sighing, she closed her eyes and let the machine get it.
�Hey beautiful, it�s me��
Lita gritted her teeth and tried to stop her heart from pounding inside her ribcage as the honey-smooth voice flowed through the speaker beside her head on the coffee table.
�Um�guess you�re not home right now. I just wanted to say that I�m sorry I haven�t called, I�I guess there isn�t an excuse for why not. Lita baby�.I miss you.�
I miss you too Trish�
That�s all it took. Hearing those three little words had all her resistance crumbling into nothingness. Like dust in the wind, all of her angry thoughts disintegrated and blew away as if they had never even been there in the first place. But while the anger was gone, the hurt still remained strong as ever.
Her fingers itched to just grab up the receiver and tell Trish how much she loved and missed her too. To tell her that she forgave her for neglecting their love and to make her see how wrong she had been to hurt her. And yet as much as she ached to say all this, something inside of her refused to let her reach out and pick up the phone.
�Well anyway�I have to get going baby. I�ll try and get a hold of you tomorrow night after the show, alright? I love you Lita�take care. Bye baby��
There was an audible click as the phone hung up and once again Lita was left in the silence of the room. A small smile on her face, she gently rolled and sat up on the sofa, swinging her legs around to let her feet touch the floor. She loves me�
How could she have ever doubted her love? Lita berated herself for even entertaining the ideas that Trish had been unfaithful. She was just paranoid after being left alone for so long, that was all. Trish had never cheated on her, she�d just been busy with travelling and work - that�s why she hadn�t had time to phone. As she reasoned within herself, bit by bit all the hurt and confusion that had run rampant inside Lita�s head began to drain away, leaving her euphoric with relief and joy.
She needed to call her back.
Reaching over the overstuffed arm of the sofa, Lita�s fingers trembled as they curled almost reverently around the handle of the receiver. She was going to finally talk to her baby�everything was going to be alright once she told her how she felt. It just had to work out.
Fingers halfway done dialing Trish�s cell phone number from memory, the flashing light on the answering machine and shrill intermittent beep grew too annoying to ignore. Sighing impatiently, she hung up the phone and quickly jabbed at the flashing button. Soon, the familiar sounds of Trish�s melodious voice floated up to her as the message began playing back.
And then she heard it.
Almost too quiet to hear it at first, Lita�s eyebrows drew down in puzzlement as the message ran out and the machine automatically rewound itself. A growing feeling of dread forming in the pit of her stomach, Lita hit the �play� button again and rested her back against the cushions as she listened.
�Well anyway�I have to get going baby. I�ll try and get a hold of you tomorrow night after the show, alright? I love you Lita�take care. Bye baby��
It was there, in the background that Lita heard what she had been dreading to hear. A feminine giggle, high-pitched and slightly muffled as if the person laughing had their hand over their mouth to keep quiet. Fuck�
Hands trembling, Lita covered her face and willed the incriminating message to go away. She wanted it to have never existed so that she could go on believing that Trish was being true to her. How fucking dare she�
Slowly, she let her hands drop into her lap. Lips pursed as if in pain, Lita stiffly reached over and snatched up the caller ID box that was hooked up to her phone. Almost afraid to look, she let her eyes fall onto the name and number that seemed to be taunting her as realization sunk in.
�S. Keibler�
Stacy Keibler. That fucking slut. Biting back the sob that threatened to break free from her lips at any second, Lita squeezed her eyes shut and hurled the caller ID box across the room. Broken wires trailing behind it like a kite�s tail, the box hit the wall with a resounding thud before smashing into a thousand pieces across the floor.
That was it. This was the last time she would ever let that cheating bitch Trish get to her. The last time she would even think about the unfaithful cow. After tonight, she was through with her and the poison she called love.
Grabbing up the phone, she dialed the hated numbers that had been so recently burned into her brain and then smiled bitterly when Trish�s voice came onto the line. It would seem that Trish had taken things over there now too, she thought sourly.
�Hello?�
�How could you Trish?� Her voice was wooden.
�Lita? How did you get this number?�
�I got it off the fucking call display. You forgot I had one of those, huh.� The sarcasm was dripping off her tongue, and she was pleased to hear Trish�s in drawn breath of shock as the petite blond suddenly realized the implications of the phone call.
�Lita baby, don�t be angry with me. This isn�t what you think. I can explain.� Trish�s voice was desperate. Pleading, it was obvious she was floundering for an explanation. Tired of hearing lies, Lita sighed heavily.
�Save it Trish, I don�t want to hear it. We�re through.�
�What? Baby you can�t mean that, I love you! I can make this up to you, we can fix this. We can wor-�
Lita let the receiver drop from numb fingers, the cold plastic hitting the table with a pathetic thud. On the other end Trish�s frantic pleading could be heard, but instead of feeling compelled to pick it up again and to hear her out like she usually did, all she felt was a strange sense of detachment.
With a newfound calm, Lita slowly picked up the phone and brought it to her ear again, Trish�s ramblings having now tapered off into begging sobs of desperation. Passing her tongue over dry, cracked lips, Lita closed her ears to her lover�s voice and hardened her heart once and for all against Trish�s persuasive ways.
�Please�baby�Lita don�t do this�I need you! Lita I love you!�
Before she could think twice, she wrapped her fingers around the phone cord and yanked it out of the wall. Dropping the useless phone back into the cradle and feeling hollow inside, Lita closed her eyes against the flood of bitter tears welling up behind her eyelids.
�Goodbye Trish��
When I see her eyes
Look into my eyes
Then I realize that she could see inside my head
So I close my eyes
Thinking I could hide
Disassociate so I don�t have to lose my head
This situation leads to agitation
Will she cut me off
Will this be amputation
I don�t know if I care
I�m the jerk
Life�s not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not
Do you realize I won�t compromise
She loves me not
She loves me not�
The End.