Pass You By
She was like nothing I�ve ever known
Her eyes shined like diamonds in a field of snow
Man that destiny led her to me
Made her feel that life was now complete
When I first met her, I hadn�t really taken too much notice. I was meeting her father, ready to sign onto his company and start my career. I wanted to reach my goals, achieve my dreams, and nothing was going to stand in my way.
She was only sixteen, and the boss�s daughter. What did I care about a giggly adolescent girl? But there is one thing that always stands out in my mind during that first meeting. Her innocence. She radiated of purity and innocence. Of hope. At sixteen, she was still untainted by the world and by the harsh realities of life.
Although that was years ago, I still think about the way she was back then before everything vile and corrupt had touched her. And it was all me. I had made her believe that we were meant to be, that it was fate. That I was the ying to her yang, if you must.
But I know now that she doesn�t belong in my world, and that she never did. She�s too good for it. The way I had gotten her to marry me was the first sign that things were never meant to be, but I chose to ignore it. We married for power, for revenge. We married not for love, but because of our hatred of the way things were at that time.
Hell, I had to drug her for her to say �I do�.
Now a thousand days have passed and nights gone by
You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes
Though she denies her pain and her dismay
Know I said this to her anyway
As the days and nights came and went, my influence on her gained intensity. She had begun to become just like me, and she was enjoying it. Or so I thought.
As that young girl in her began to disappear, so did her innocence and integrity. Some nights, after she thinks I�ve gone to sleep, I can hear her crying softly. Deep down she hates the woman she has turned into. She wants to regain her �true� self, but she can�t. It�s not what�s expected of her, and it�s not what she had come to learn.
She won�t change back because I know she�s afraid. Afraid to lose the man she loves by changing. Afraid to even commit herself to him, lest he leave her if she changes. What she doesn�t realise is that the small part of the �true� self that somehow continues to shine through her bitch exterior is the reason the man fell in love with her in the first place.
The man who isn�t me.
Don�t have to stay with someone that makes you cry
You�ll end up killing all the love you have inside
Can�t hope to see the sun in you if you don�t open your eyes
Girl don�t let real love pass you by
Don�t let real love pass you by
I know that he first met her around the same time I did, and he was the one who had fallen in love with her all the way back then. But she had ignored him because he was working for the �enemy�, and she has always been so loyal to her father and their company.
However, he eventually gained her interest. But it was too late. She was already married to me. Still it didn�t stop her falling in love. Again. I know that for a time she did love me, and in a way she still does. But not in the way I want.
I want her to love me the same way she loves him.
But for some twisted reason she won�t leave me and go to him. And as much as I love her, as much as it will hurt that she won�t be with me anymore, I want her to. Because as long as she�s with me, the small piece of her that still exists, and that both he and I fell in love with, continues to disappear a little at a time.
I know you�re nervous but take it from me
Cause you deserve so much more than you receive
Listen to your heart and let it show
Don�t hold onto your pain just let it go
Every time I see that sad, longing look in her eyes whenever she�s watching him, all I want to do is reach over and hold her. But I know that it�s not me she wants, and that it will never be me again. She�s given all of herself to him, loves him with every fibre in her body, in a way that she never did with me.
I know that�s it�s hurting her not being with him. I hate seeing her in pain, and I just want to tell her that it�s okay with me, that she can leave me so that they can be together. But the words refuse to form, and I stay silent, because it is not okay and I don�t want to do say it.
I never deserved the time I had managed to steal with her, but I just can�t seem to let her go. A large part of me recognises the small part in her that doesn�t want to be let go either, and I�m clinging to that part. Because I know that without it, I�m totally lost. That small part of her that wants to stay with me, it�s more than I ever hoped for, because I know that at least a small part of her does still want me.
Or maybe it�s the same small part that�s nervous and afraid of change?
Don�t have to stay with someone who makes you cry
Don�t be discouraged baby
Don�t let real love pass you by
She�s crying out in the open. Something I�ve never seen her do before, and I�m completely stunned. We�re at home watching RAW, which has just finished. The last image we had seen was of him, staring intensely at Benoit, who had just won the WWF Championship Belt.
She�s crying over him, I just know it.
As much as it�s going to kill me, I know that I can�t do this anymore. I can�t pretend that we have something we never did. I can�t pretend that I have the same connection with her that she does with him. It�s not even close. I can�t pretend to not be adding anymore to her pain.
�Steph?� I call out softly after turning off the TV.
She quickly wipes away her tears, and turns to me, smiling. �I�m sorry,� she quickly apologises. �I�m just a little emotional at the moment. That time of the month and all.�
But I shake my head. �No more lies, okay,� I tell her gently. �I know what�s going on. You still love him.�
She shakes her head, a confused smile appearing on her face. �I don�t know what you�re talking about, Hunter.�
I would have believed her. Had I not first seen the stricken, guilty look in her eyes at my words before she had quickly lowered her gaze. �And he still loves you,� I continue, ignoring what she had just said.
She looks up quickly at me. �What are you talking about?�
�Jericho told me,� I inform her. �He still loves you, Steph.�
Don�t have to stay with someone that makes you cry
You�ll end up killing all the love you have inside
Can�t hope to see the sun in you if you don�t open your eyes
Girl don�t let real love pass you by
I had caught them six months ago, but as much as she loved him, she had stayed with me. There had been countless insults and angry words shared between the three of us, most especially from me. But I had just been so relieved that she had decided to stay with me that I had quickly forgiven her.
But I don�t blame her for having fallen in love with him in the first place. She had hated the person she was becoming, and he was the only one who seemed capable of bringing out the best in her. That part of her that we both fell in love with.
�I don�t�� She trails off, frowning. �Hunter, I�m with you, remember? I had decided to stay.�
I smile at her sadly. �You made the wrong choice. I know that now.�
�But-�
�Please, don�t make this harder that it already is,� I beg her, shaking my head. �What the two of you have, it�s genuine. It�s real.�
I can see the conflicting emotions dance across her face. Joy, regret, excitement, dread, happiness, sorrow. Hope.
�Don�t let him pass you by, Steph,� I say, a feeling of hollowness already beginning to form inside. �Because you deserve so much more than me. And he�s the one you want, the one you love.�
I see it again. That purity and innocence she had, before having been tarnished by me. And I know that I�m finally doing the right thing.