for Grace, who wanted a Kurt Angle fic. I hope that this meets your expectations. For Drakflame who posta all my stories on her site, even though they probably don't deserve to be theree. For shana for nver allowing me to give up, for always pushing me forwards. and finally for the WWF for inspiring hundreds, perhaps thousands of people to write fanfiction, some of which I have enjoyed.
Neverland (1/1)
by lirpa
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I've realized something, something I'm ashamed took me so long to figure out. She'll never leave him for me. i'm just your Olympic hero, almost an average guy when you get right down to it. How can I ever hope to compete with the Game. I don't have particularly rich parents, or come from Greenwich, like they both do. it seems no matter how hard I try I'm just never going to win. I mean, sure, I have the WWF title, the one Steph helped me win, but I'm never going to have the girl. I have to stop living in my dreams and face up to the reality, she'd never leave him for me.
I'm beginning to realize I'm just a pwan to her, someone to make her husband jealous. And it does, apparantly. but I could just tell Hunter to stop interfering in my matches, stop trying to play mind games with me, because she'll never love me, like she already loves him. I'm always going to be the starter while he remains the main course. She'll come to me, but in the end she'll always go back to him. Which is why it hurts me to see him treating her this way, not realizing what a wonderful woman she is. But I've got to stop living in a fantasy, I've got to start facing reality.
And the reality is that she'll never leave him for me. I'm not going to wake up one night and find out that this was all a horrible dream. In this fairy tale the hero doesn't marry the princesss and live happily ever after. because the princess is already married and life's already perfect for her. I'm entertainment in her life, to be dismissed when I'm no longer amusing. I pray every night that she'll see how very much I love her, that she'll leave him and allow me to treat her the way she deserves to be treated, but God doesn't seem to hear, or if he's listening he doesn't seem to care, because she left him for me, and she never will.
It's like I'm Peter Pan, he didn't get the girl either. He wanted to stay forever young, but I like to believe that he eventually grew up and got a regular nine to five job to support the 2.4 kids he and his wife, whoever she was, had had. I like to imagine that he left Never Neverland and it's out there waiting to take away all my pain, to make me a kid again, and teach me to fly. How to soar without Her. It would be a huge accomplishment, to leave her and all my troubles behind, if only for a little while. But I'd have to come back eventually. I have responsibilities, after all.I'm not a true child without a care in the world, I never will be again. Never Neverland has closed its doors to your Olympic hero before he could ever find them.
The sad fact of life is that she'll nevr leave him for me, even if they are so totally mismatched. An angel like her doesn't belong with a devil like him. Now all I have to do is convince Stephanie of soemthing I already know as well as I know my own heartbeat. And like my heartbeat the knowledge never leaves me, rather I am never allowed to forget, after all my heart beats in her hand. I love Stephanie mcMahon and she'll never leave him for me, it's just not the reality of the situation, not the reality.
The reality is like this; the hrad cold truth is that, like Never Neverland, any love for me Steph might have doesn't exist. Affection? certainly, but she's nice to a lot of guys in the back, I'm not alone in that. The truth is that I'm not special to her, no matter how hard I try to prove myself. I'm just your average Olmpic champion, really people like me come a dime a dozen. Okay, so I'm being a little sarcastic, that's okay, I can live with that.
Somedays, however, I think that I can't live without Steph. On those days I give myself a quick, mental salp. I know that I'm going to have to live without Stpehanie because she was never mine in the forst place. She belongs to Helmsley. It's to hom that she's given the ultimate gift. it's to him that she's given her heart. Something I ant more than this belt, and Helmsle's stolen it before I could even get a chance to enter the competition. I'm playing for a prize that's already been won, and what do I get for a consilation prize? Kurt and I are just friends. But friends do play people the way that Steph's played me. It's days like these I wish that Never Neverland eas real and I could go there and be left in peace. I don't think I've felt peace in so long, I'm not sure I can remember what peace feels like. Lonliness has become my constant companion, an ache wher my heart used to be. today is a day that I need to fly away. Away from wverything, everybody. Toady is a day where I need to be alone.
And although I may never reach Never Neverland I've found Neverland, quite easily in fact. after all, Steph will never leave him for me, I'll never be with the woman I truly love. Oh yes, I've found Neverland all right, and your Olmpic hero is beginning to wish he hadn't.