Series: Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back
Author: Katie
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em & I'm not claiming that this happened, only
in my mind.
Distribution: Only at Castles in the Sky
http://members.tripod.com/katemarie_1
Rating: NC-17
Het/Slash/Both: Slash
Summary: Shawn's reasoning for being such a jerk
Note: Sixth part in the series. Go to
http://members.tripod.com/katemarie_1/id83.htm for the first three
parts� the other two� ask me and I'll send them to you. *shrugs* I
can't update my site right now.
Another Note: There is a cliff at the end� and I'm sorry� but it has to
be there for the next part to happen the way it's supposed to happen.
Another Note: Thanks as always to AJ for betaing this *G*
I am sitting alone in the lobby when I hear someone call out my name.
"Shawn!" I look up startled but don�t move.
"What do you want Kanyon?"
"I want to know why I shouldn't kill you."
"You should. I'm sorry man. I don't know what I was thinking. After the
whole thing with Jeff I swore I would try to be a better man. I guess
I'm just not good enough. So go ahead and kill me for messing with
yours and Shane's relationship." I know what I did was wrong. I really
didn't want to hurt anyone. I just� I can't have the man I want so why
should anyone else be able to?
"Why? All I want to know is why you're such an asshole?"
"I don't know Chris. I really don't know."
"Not a good enough answer. Shawn you have to have some idea why you act
the way you do."
I look up and my eyes fall on my best friend. I sigh thinking about how
much I want to touch him.
"I get it. You've got a thing for Nash. Why don't you just tell him so?
He's one of your best friends."
"Exactly why I can't tell him. He'd hate me. Besides you've never seen
the way he looks at RVD."
"Who I might add looks exactly like you?"
I frown and look over at him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean RVD looks like you. Have you ever thought that maybe that's why
Kevin looks at him the way he does?"
"No. It's not possible. Maybe RVD looks a little like me but if Kevin
wanted me he'd say so. He's not the kind of guy to hide behind someone
else."
"Never mind the fact that no one is big enough to hide him." I look at
him puzzled and he laughs softly. "Sorry man bad joke. What I wasn't
saying is have you considered the possibility that maybe he doesn�t
realize it's you he wants?"
I shake my head but part of me is hoping he's right. I want him to be
right. I want Kevin to love me. I'm just scared to find out that he
doesn't.
"Just go talk to him man. He'll let you know one way or the other."
I nod my head and get to my feet. I watch as he leaves the room and
then sink back into my chair. There's no way in hell I'm going over
there and telling Kevin that I've been in love with him since I met
him. It's not going to happen.
After a few more hours of staring at the man I love, I finally get to
my feet and stumble into the elevator. I can't even begin to explain
why I do what I do next but I do it anyhow. Shannon is standing there
frowning and I reach out, grab him around the waist and pull him
against me. He's fighting me but I'm so drunk I don�t even notice. I
press our lips together and I'm still kissing him when the doors ding
open.
Before I understand what's happening I feel someone's fist hit my face
and I hit the floor. Looking up I see who hit me. It's Benoit. Figures.
Shannon is trying to explain that I was kissing him and not the other
way around. I watch as Benoit grabs his arm and pulls him off the
elevator. I frown as the doors close. Well fuck I wanted to hear their
fight.
I climb to my feet completely unaware of the blood pouring from my
nose. The doors open again on the next floor and Kevin steps on the
elevator with his current lover in tow. I just growl at Rob and turn
away from Kevin.
My best friend. Why the fuck do I have to be in love with my best
friend? And why the hell did I kiss little Shannon Moore? Fuck. I am so
fucked up.
I have tears in my eyes and Kevin grabs my face pulling me up to meet
his eyes. I try desperately to control my lust for him as he wipes
under my nose. "Shawn? You're bleeding baby."
I can't read too much into him calling me baby. He calls everyone baby.
I reach up and wipe my nose shocked at how much blood there is. "I�
Someone hit me."
"Who?" I try not to read too much into the anger in his eyes but it's
kind of hard you know. He looks so mad. I just shake my head. There's
no way I'm letting him go after Benoit after I fucked up by kissing his
lover.
"Doesn't matter. Forget it Kev."
He shakes his head and I dimly hear Rob protest but Kevin shoots him a
glare that would make Vince think twice about pissing him off. "It does
matter Shawn. When someone hits you and makes you bleed it matters."
"I don't matter Kev so just forget about it."
I hear him swear under his breath and he pulls me against him pressing
his mouth against mine. I'm so shocked I squeak. He takes the
opportunity to delve his tongue into my mouth. His mouth is warm and
sweet. His tongue moves against mine in a way that has me squirming. If
his tongue is that good I shudder to think how good the rest of him is.
His fingers run through my hair softly and I can't help the moan that
slips form my mouth. He smiles against me and his free hand cups my
butt effectively grinding our hardened cocks together. I gasp softly as
his hand slides down the back of my pants. Fuck. I've wanted this for
so long but I can't believe he's doing this in front of Rob.
We break apart gasping for air and I'm puzzled as to when we got into
my room. I look around and wince as a headache the size of Texas slams
into me. I look up expecting to see Kevin but all I see is air. A
thought I'm not too happy with occurs to me and I look frantically
around. There's no sign of him. FUCK! I was just dreaming. I must have
passed out in the elevator. I wonder if any of it happened.
I shake my head lightly and head into the bathroom. Well at least I
know one thing that happened. I certainly did piss off Benoit. I've got
the black eye to prove it. Not to mention the obviously broken nose. I
shrug. It's not like I didn't deserve it.
I gently prod at my nose wondering just how broken it is. Jumping when
someone knocks on the door I poke a little too hard and cry out. I hear
a voice outside my door. "Shawn? Are you all right man?"
"Yeah yeah yeah. Gimme a second would ya?" Great just what I need.
Scott and Sean coming to check up on me. I walk to the door tears in my
eyes from the pain. Pulling open the door I yelp and Kevin shoves past
me and searches the room. "What are ya looking for Kev?"
"I don�t know. You cried out. I thought�" He trails off and I really
wonder what he thought.
With a shrug I turn to look at Scott and Sean who both shrug
sheepishly. "He said you wouldn't open the door for him. What happened
Shawn?"
"I don't remember. I think I passed out." I jump when Kevin's voice
booms out directly behind me.
"You don�t remember anything?"
I turn and stare into icy gray eyes. "No. Well, I remember getting hit,
which I have to add I deserved but after that everything's a little
blurry." I cannot believe I'm lying my ass off. Of course I�m not
really. I mean it was just a dream right? Even if I can remember
exactly how he tasted.
He shakes his head and shuts the door in Sean and Scott's faces before
leaning over and staring directly into my eyes. "See if this jogs your
memory." With that he presses his mouth against mine. Oh fuck. I guess
it wasn't just a dream.
His tongue slides along mine and I moan into his mouth. He tastes the
same. Fuck I'm enjoying this way too much I think. I feel his hand
pressing against my lower back and I pull away suddenly. I want this. I
want him. But not if it's because he's feeling sorry for me. "What the
hell is going on Kev?"
"Dammit Shawn. I've been in love with you for fucking forever. Haven't
you ever stopped to think about why I got so pissed every time you went
out with one of these boys? Jesus Christ you�re an even bigger idiot
than I took you for." He pulls away and I suddenly realize he'd had his
hand on my lower back the entire time. I moan at the loss and reach out
touching his shoulder.
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I was fucking them because I
wanted someone bigger and better?"
He turns and looks at me with those steely gray eyes. I shiver under
the intensity of his stare. "What are you saying Shawn?"
"I'm saying I love you, you fucking idiot. I've been in love with you
since before we were friends." I look at the ground sadly and wipe a
stray tear from my eye. Fuck I wasn't even aware I was crying. "I love
you Kevin. I just always assumed you wanted nothing to do with me.
You've never even indicated you were interested in me."
"Fuck baby. I didn't think you'd want a broken down old fuck like me."
I look up and meet his eyes. He's smiling at me softly and it's safe to
say I never thought anything about him would ever look soft. I reach up
caressing his face and pull him down closer. Whispering I beg him to
kiss me again. He does as I ask and presses our mouths together. He
picks me up and carries me to the bed.
I allow him to do what he wants all the while crying inside because now
I know his true intentions. All he wants is an easy fuck. Well, I'll be
more than happy to give him what he wants. I won't say no to the man I
love.
I wince when he enters me for the first time. It's been a while since
I've bottomed for anyone. The last was Scott before he and Sean got
together. Hey I never claimed I wasn't a slut. I know exactly who and
what I am. I've never tried to hide that fact.
He's huge and it feels like he's tearing me apart. I just bite my lip
and force myself not to cry out. No matter what I don't want him to
stop.
He rocks inside of me making me gasp when he hits my sweet spot. I
can't help but cry out as he continues thrusting inside of me. At this
point it feels so good, I swear I'm going to explode.
He must sense how close I am because he reaches down between our bodies
and wraps his thick finger around my shaft squeezing the base. Fucker.
He's not going to let me cum until he says. Fine he wants to be that
way, I can play too.
Kevin's POV
I can't believe I'm finally buried inside of Shawn. Fuck. I've wanted
him for so long. And holy fuck, for someone who's been with more guys
than anyone else I know his ass fits me like a fucking glove. Maybe he
doesn't bottom for his little play things.
I shake the thought from my head. I've got his cock in my hand, my dick
buried in his ass and I'm thinking about the other men he's fucked?
What the hell is wrong with me? Oh right. This is Shawn I'm buried in.
I fight back the urge to slam even harder into him, claim him as I try
to keep our first time sweet for him. Hell, I've never claimed to care
one way or the other about my lovers feelings but Shawn is different.
Shawn is� Well hell Shawn is Shawn. I've been in love with him for more
years than I care to admit to.
Suddenly he's arching up against me. I don't know what caused the
sudden change in mood but I'm not necessarily going to complain. Hell I
wanted some sort of reaction whereas before all I got was him biting
his lip and gasping when I would nudge his prostate.
Ah hell, he's good. His inner muscles are squeezing me like crazy and
if he doesn't knock it off I'm going to cum way before I want to. I
pick up the pace, intending to drive him crazy but all he does is laugh
softly. I hear him speaking and can barely make out the words. "Fucker.
You wanted an easy lay� I'll show you how fucking easy I am bastard."
He can't be talking about me. Fuck is he that insecure that he thinks
this is all I want? I stare down at that lovely face I've had memorized
my entire life and frown. I suddenly stop all movements causing those
scared blue eyes to meet mine.
"Shawn?" I don't know how to ask him what I want to ask him.
He groans and tries moving but I've placed my hands on his hips. He's
not going anywhere until I let him. "Shawn? You know I love you right?"
"Whatever. Would you just fuck me already?"
"Is that all you want from me?"
Shawn's POV
Fuck why is he acting like he cares? He's only making this harder on
me. I lie knowing it's what he wants to hear. "Yes goddammit. Fuck me
already Kev."
His hands pull away and I sigh with relief. Finally he's going to
finish this. I stare at him shocked as he pulls out and rolls away from
me. "You little fucking piece of shit."
I frown and reach out almost touching him but suddenly afraid to. A
pissed of Kevin Nash is not someone you want to fuck with.
"I came here because I love you. I was making love to you because I
wanted to show you how much I love you. And all you wanted was a
fucking cheap lay? You little fucking bastard."
I jump back when he turns on me and then start to lean forward as I
notice tears in his eyes. "Kevin I�"
He cuts me off with a single glare. "Listen up and listen close, you
self serving little bastard. Everything I've ever done where you're
concerned has been because I love you. If you want to throw that love
back in my face then so be it. But don't fucking think I'm going too
ever let you touch me now that I now you've never cared about me. As
far as I'm concerned Shawn, I don't care if I never see your face
again." He stands up and grabs his clothes pulling them on before
walking to the door. He looks back at me one last time before slamming
the door open and stalking out. He doesn't even bother to shut the door
behind himself.
Not that I care, as I curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep.
TBC
Disclaimers and notes see pt. 1
Several Weeks Later
I'm walking the halls of whatever arena it is we're in and I'm alone. As usual. I sigh and stop to look around. I hear voices and head towards them. I stop short when I see Kevin with his arms wrapped around Road Dogg. I close my eyes trying to block out the sight but all I see when I do that is the night I fucked everything up. Only in my place is Roadie and he's not stupid enough to push Kev away. Fuck. I can't do this anymore.
I turn on my heel and take off. I'm not looking where I'm going, which would explain why I end up on my ass a few seconds later. I look over to see who I knocked down and jump to my feet backing away. "Oh fuck. Shannon. Shit. I'm sorry man. I didn't see you. Fuck I'm sorry. Please."
He laughs and I bump into a wall as his laughter dies down. I turn around not really wanting to see the wall I bumped into. I wince when I see Benoit. He's glaring at me and if I wasn't sure I didn't do anything wrong I probably would keep my mouth shut this time. "Damn. Benoit. I'm sorry man. I didn't see him. But other than knocking him on his ass I swear to god I didn't touch him this time. Please don't kill me."
I cringe away expecting to be hit but he smiles. "It's okay man. I saw what happened. I'm not going to kill you. I want to know something though." I nod my head. There's no way I'd deny answering anything he wants to ask me. ""Why the fuck did you kiss Shanny?"
I shrug. "I don't know exactly. I was upset and not thinking. He was there and if I would been using my brain I never would have touched him."
"He's not good enough for you?"
Okay now I'm confused. He laughs though making me frown even deeper. "Relax Shawn. I was joking. Not very well apparently. Just do me and more importantly yourself a favour."
"What's that?"
"Stay away from guys who are taken. It's really not good for that pretty face of yours." He reaches out and Shannon takes his hand before throwing a smile my way. I watch silently as they walk off together. They really do make a sweet couple.
I sigh and turn around. I have to get out of here. I don't care if I am supposed to be at ringside with the Heartbreakers. Kev's boys are supposed to be there too and that means Kevin will certainly be there. I can't face him. But how do I get out of being at ringside?
I know. I'll go tell Vince I don't feel good. Or better yet I'll go talk to JR. He's always had a crush on me. Not as big as his hard on for Austin but still. Actually JR is pretty much lusting after every wrestler in the fed. Not that he has a chance with any of them but he's still wants them.
With a sigh I head for his office. I'll beg off sick and he'll let me out of going to ringside. Fuck. I can't do it. I just remembered that Bret and I are supposed to have a few rounds during Benoit and Matt's match. Fuck. I hate having to deal with being a manager. It sucks.
I'm growling as I hit the locker room. Jeff looks up from his seat on Sean's lap and frowns at me. I stop and watch as he leans forward kissing his fianc�'s lips softly and whispers something to him. Sean shakes his head and tightens his grip on the younger man's waist. Jeff wiggles out of his older lover's grip and climbs out of his lap. He walks towards me and grabs my arm pulling me from the room. "Jeff what the hell�"
"Shut up. For once in your life shut up Michaels. You're gonna listen very carefully. I've had it up to my eyeballs with your shit. I forgave you for what you tried to do to me but I won't tolerate you fucking with my friends emotions or their relationships. Stay away from Shane and Shannon or else."
I nod my head. Fuck. "Jeff, I've never said this to you. Hell I've never said this to anyone. I'm sorry. I never meant to force myself� Well fuck that. I did mean it at the time. But I am sorry. I've already apologized to Kanyon for trying to come between him and Shane and Benoit already knows my reasons for kissing Shannon. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." And fuck me gently I'm crying. I wipe the tears away trying to act nonchalant about them.
He reaches out and wipes his fingers across my cheek. "God dammit. I didn't expect you to apologize. And I sure as hell didn't expect you to cry. Shawn what's going on? Why do you keep acting like such a jerk?" His voice is soft and if I didn't know better I'd swear he actually cares.
O'Haire pokes his head out into the hallway and growls. I step away from Jeff quickly not wanting to get my ass kicked. His arms wrap around the younger man and he tilts Jeff's face up to his. "Did he try anything baby?"
Jeff rolls his eyes and shoves the older man away. "Go away. Everything's fine. He didn't try anything but if you don't leave I'm going to hurt ya."
I watch fascinated as the older man releases the younger man and smiles. "Fine. But if he so much as touches you? I'm tearing his ass apart limb from limb."
Jeff nods his head indulgently and shoves his lover towards the dressing room. He turns back to me and smiles softly. "Sorry about him. He's a tad bit protective."
"A tad bit? Hell Jeff I didn't even touch you and he was ready to tear me apart. I shudder to think what he'd do to the guy who touches you."
His smile is even wider as he laughs. He really is a beautiful young man. Not that I'd ever want to face Sean's wrath by messing with him but� "He's really just a big ole wimp. He'd never really hurt anyone because he's knows I'd be pissed."
I laugh. "Damn. You really have got him whipped."
"You'd better believe it. Now since you didn't get a chance to answer before my lover interrupted us, why do you act the way you do?"
"I don't know Jeff. I just do."
"Bullshit Shawn. I know I shouldn't care one way or the other but I'm curious. I want to know why you act the way you do?"
I start to answer when the door opens up again. This time Kanyon walks through. He smiles at Jeff before turning to me. "So did you talk to Kevin?"
I open my mouth to answer him but the words won't come out. I'm shocked, embarrassed and humiliated to find tears streaming down my face. Before I can even contemplate it Jeff's got me in his arms and he's hugging me. "Oh god. So that's why? You've been trying to make Kev jealous?"
I nod my head against his shoulder. I know the words won't come out but I can still kinda tell him what I'm feeling. His arms tighten around me and I hear the door open. I then hear growling and Jeff telling Sean to shut up and go away. I'd laugh at how quickly the brunette does as he's told if I weren't so fucking miserable.
Jeff pulls me into the locker room and into a quiet corner. I finally find the words and explain to him everything that has happened since the night Kanyon confronted me. His eyes are so sympathetic it's pathetic. I take a deep breath and shrug. "So I guess he's happy with Roadie. And if he is, good. I want him to be happy. I just�" I trail off and shrug again.
He smiles and nods his head. "You just wish that he was finding that happiness with you?"
I nod my head and he hugs me again. Fuck, I never thought Jeff'd forgive me much less be the one I told my problems to.
I hang my head. "Jeff I don't deserve you being nice to me. I've been nothing but a complete and utter asshole to you and your friends."
"Ya know you're right. You don't deserve to have me being nice to you. You don't deserve my forgiveness. But you've got it. So deal with it."
I laugh. Hey I guess I shouldn't argue with the man right? I mean his lover, who's easily twice his weight is scared of him. That means I should be too. "Okay okay. Thank you for listening to me whine."
"You weren't whining. But if you want him, if you really want Kevin back, you're going to have to talk to him about this."
"I know. And I do want him back. But if he's happy with Roadie then I don't want to come between them."
"I understand that. I really do. But if you love him, and you do, then you deserve the chance to have happiness with him as well. From what you've told me he obviously cares a great deal about you Shawn. Don't you think that you both deserve to find happiness with one another?"
I shake my head. "Maybe I want to deserve happiness with him but I don't."
He nods his head and leans forward hugging me. "Just think about it. Because if you ever decide you need or even want my help in telling him how you feel, I'll be there for you."
I nod my head trying to keep the tears back. I think I've cried more in the past few weeks than I have in my entire life. I wrap my arms around Jeff and squeeze him. "Thank you Jeff. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that."
He smiles and pulls away before shoving me gently. "Go get ready for the Heartbreakers matches tonight."
"Yeah like I have so fucking much to do." I roll my eyes as I head over to my locker. Grabbing my vinyl pants I pull off my worn out jeans and slip into the too tight pants. I tug my t-shirt over my head and nearly hit the ceiling when I feel someone grab me from behind. "What the fuck?" I say turning around. To my surprise Taker is standing there grinning at me.
"Hey Shawn. I've got a little proposition for you."
I roll my eyes. Hey I'm a slut and I'll generally fuck anything that moves but Taker is one asshole I want nothing to do with. I hate the way he treated Chuck. Hell I'm not even friends with Chuck but I am friends with Bret and I saw how much it hurt him to see Chuck hurting. Speaking of the lovebirds, I glance at them out of the corner of my eye. So that's why the dead man is hitting on me and loudly at that. "Yeah Take� what's your proposition?"
"You. Me. Bed. Sex." He grins like this is an exciting proposition for me. Fuck. Even if I hadn't had Kev last night buried inside of me, I've had men who could make a straight man get on his knees and beg. There's no way I'd ever want him.
I shake my head and look over at Chuck and Bret. "Ya know, he doesn't even care Taker. He's not paying attention in the slightest. He's too busy being head over heels with Bret."
He growls at me and I just barely duck a fist flying at my face. I stumble backwards when he shoves me. "You fucking slut. Do you really think you're too good for me?" His hand closes around my throat and he starts squeezing. "I should kill you for that comment Michaels. You are nothing but a whore and an asshole who will never, ever be loved by anyone."
My vision starts growing gray and I dimly hear Jeff telling Taker to let me go. I'm dropped to the floor and I miss what happens next as I gasp for air. When I look up, half the locker room is surrounding me. Jeff kneels down next to me and touches my face gently. "Are you okay Shawn?"
I start to laugh but end up choking. I try speaking but all that comes out is a strangled whine. Fucker fucked up my throat. I nod my head slowly as O'Haire pulls me to my feet. He shakes his head at Jeff and half carries me to the nurse's office. He drops me unceremoniously onto the only available chair and drops onto the floor. "I don't know why the fuck Jeff thinks you deserve to have his help or mine but know that I'm only doing this for him. I really couldn't have cared less if Taker had killed your sorry ass."
I nod my head and stare at the floor. I don't blame him for feeling the way he does but it doesn't mean I like it any better. I wince as the nurse comes in carrying a needle full of blood. Sean looks up and pales considerably. We look at one another and shudder.
He offers me a slight smile and fakes passing out. I start laughing but it hurts so I settle for grinning at him. He grins back and shakes his head. The nurse smiles over at us and looks back and forth. "Okay. What happened here? Did you two get into a fight or something?"
"Or something." Sean answers. "He got his sorry ass choked out by Taker cuz he said something the man didn't want to hear."
The nurse frowns and gasps. I reach over and smack Sean's leg. I try talking but nothing comes out but a soft squeak. Sean laughs and smacks my leg in return. "Stupid fuck. Your neck is already black and blue. Stop trying to talk." He turns to the nurse and grins. "He can't talk. Every time he starts to laugh he ends up choking. You can see the bruises. Taker only had him for a few minutes but it was enough to make him lose consciousness."
I frown at him. Hell. I didn't know I passed out. Fuck. I shrug and then wince when she starts touching my throat. Sean grabs her and spins her around. "You already know his throat is fucked. Why the hell are you touching it? Jesus is it some sort of sick fascination for you to make grown men cry?"
She pulls away from him while I look up at him thankfully. "Well, Shawn it looks like you'll have to go to the hospital. There's possible damage to your larynx. Only I can't possible assess that here."
I would laugh as Sean growls at her but it hurts too much. No shit I fucked up my throat. Shit maybe I should have just taken Taker up on his offer. It wouldn't have hurt so goddamn much.
Looking at me the young brunette smiles. "Come on squeaky. Let's get you back to Jeff and he can decide what to do with your sorry ass until after the show."
I nod my head. I've never really been the type to let someone else dictate my every move but Jeff is different. I don't think I'd ever want to piss him off. I'm helped to my feet and when I try to push away Sean just laughs. "Forget it man. Jeff wants me to make sure your okay. I refuse to let you try to walk on your own and have you fall down or something. Jeff'd have my hide."
I have to fight the laughter back this time. The fact that Sean O'Haire is scared of Jeff Hardy is just too fucking hilarious. We finally get back to the locker room and I see Kevin sitting there with Road Dogg on his lap. I wince at the sight and try to pull away from Sean only he won't let me go. Jeff catches sight of us and calls Sean over. He does half dragging half carrying me along with him. I turn my head down and stare at the floor as Sean all but throws me onto a bench.
As a result I hear rather than see Kevin walk up. "What the hell happened to him?"
"What's it to you Kev? You don't care. If I remember what he told me correctly you told him you didn't care if you ever saw him again."
I hear Kevin growl and step closer to Jeff. "Listen up you little shit. No matter what I said I still care about him. That's not going to just go away. So what the fuck happened to him?"
"Hey man. Back up off Jeff. I know he can take care of himself but touch him and I'll kill ya." Sean growls in response.
I can practically hear Kevin rolling his eyes. "Fuck you O'Haire. Dammit would someone just tell me what the fuck is going on with Shawn?"
Jeff sighs and finally answers. "Yeah. Taker propositioned him. For some strange reason Shawn still loves you even after you treated him like shit so he turned him down and told Taker that Chuck was never gonna care about him again. Which is completely true but he probably shouldn't have said so. Taker grabbed him around the throat and tried to choke him. It took Chuck, Bret, Sean, Kanyon and Kane to get Taker off him. By that time he had passed out. Taker's not here anymore." Jeff's voice has raised considerably by the time he finishes and I hear Kevin walking quickly away.
Looking up I see Jeff watching me with concern in his eyes. I just shake my head and try my best to glare at him. How could he have told Kev that I'm in love with him? I told him I didn't want to let Kev know that. I fight him briefly when his arms slide around me but fuck. It's been so long since anyone has just comforted me that I can't fight too hard.
I completely ignore the tears I know are soaking the young blonde's shirt as I cry silently. He simply holds me and lets me cry. I kind of like not being judged. It's a nice change.
Pulling away I smile softly at the young man sitting next to me. I so badly want to thank him but my throat is killing me. He smiles back and leans over kissing my cheek. "Come on. Let's go find someone who can take you to the hospital."
I shake my head but he ignores me as he goes off in search of someone to drive me to the hospital.
Several Hours Later
I sigh as the doctor comes back in and tells me that I won't be able to talk for at least a week. Well, at least that's something good. I don't have to worry about having to talk to Kevin, who by the way is the person Jeff got to bring me here. I cannot believe Jeff. He's taking this getting involved thing way too far.
I sigh as the doctor leaves me to get dressed. I don�t know why I had to get naked when it was my throat Taker fucked up but hey I wasn't going to argue with Atilla the nurse. He was a pretty scary dude. Hell he probably just wanted a free show. I grin at the thought and finish pulling my pants up just as the door flies open. "Are you okay Shawn?"
I stare at Kevin in shock. He actually sounds worried. But I thought he hated me now? I nod my head and point to my throat with a shrug. I hope he gets the point.
"No voice?"
I nod my head. That's one thing I'm going to miss about my friendship with Kev. He always understands me. Or rather understood me. He hands me my shirt and asks another question. "How long are you unable to talk for?"
I hold up my forefinger and he nods. "One week?"
I nod again and turn my back to him. Fuck. I miss him. It's only been a few weeks but I miss having him around me. I miss having him being my friend. I feel his hand no my shoulder and I pull away. I miss him but I don�t think I can take him touching me. Not knowing that he knows that I'm in love with him.
I turn around to see him frowning at me and suddenly he's smiling. "You and I are going to talk. Or rather I'm going to talk and for once in your life you're going to shut up and listen."
I shake my head and try to mimic being tired but I fail miserably. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room down to the nurse's station where Atilla is waiting for us. He hands me over some papers to sign and starts checking me out. I shudder in sympathy with whoever has him for a lover. Kevin's arm slides around my shoulders and I look up to see him grinning at Atilla who backs away and suddenly finds something interesting on the desk to look at. I laugh and then wince as it comes out in a high pitched whine. Kevin starts laughing and tightens his grip on me. I elbow him in the ribs and pull away when he grunts in pain. I glare at him as best I can but it feels so much like it did before all this shit happened I can't help but smile when he just grins at me.
I shake my head and push the signed papers back towards the nurse before turning on my heel and walking away. I don't want things to be like they were before. I mean yes I want Kevin back in my life but I'm so in love with him and now that he knows it things will never be the same again. Besides, I'm kinda relieved I don�t have to hide my feelings from him anymore.
He catches up to me easily. With those long legs of his it's a whole hell of a lot easier for him to catch up to me than I want it to be. I feel his arm wrap itself around my shoulder and for a moment, just a moment, I'm tempted to lean into him. But by now we've reached his car and I'm forced to face the fact that he probably only wants to tell me I don't have a chance in hell with him as I see Jesse sitting in the front seat. He quickly climbs in the back and smiles at me before asking how my throats doing. I just shrug and turn to stare out the window. I like Jesse. Hell it's hard not to like him. He's probably the friendliest person in the locker room next to Jeff. I just don't like the fact that he and Kevin are together.
I sigh and lean my head against the window. Fuck, I never wanted my life to be this messed up. I never wanted to be in love with my best friend. I never wanted to want Kevin buried inside of me. Things would be so much easier if I were straight. Actually scratch that. I wouldn't fuck a woman if you paid me too.
I turn my head slightly when we stop at a red light and look over at Kevin who's staring into the mirror at Jesse I suppose. He's so beautiful to look at. Of course he'd probably deck me for calling him beautiful but he is. He's so strong and solid. I shake my head and turn to stare out the window again. Fuck. I need to stop thinking about him this way and just go back to being friends with him.
Except I don't know if I can go back to being just friends with him. I want so much more and now that he knows that I want that can we really go back to being just friends? I shrug and then climb out of the car as soon as he stops at the hotel. I need to be away from him so I take off. I have no clue as to where I'm going but I just can't be around him knowing he'll never love me. I guess Kevin and I are destined to be just friends.
THE END