Author: Katie
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em & I'm not claiming that this happened, only in my mind.
Distribution: Only at Castles in the Sky http://members.tripod.com/katemarie_1
Rating: R I think
Het/Slash/Both: Slash
Summary: Some issues are resolved but can they stay together?
Note: Sequel to I Don't Have The Right which is the sequel to Just A Kiss.
Another Note: Hehehehe�. Okay so I lied� there is apparently one more part after this. It'll be out asap.
Yet Another Note: Thanks as always to AJ for betaing this *G*
Benoit's POV
It's been three weeks since Chris kissed me and one week since Shane and I made love without thinking of anyone else but each other. Since then Shane and I have spent every waking minute together. Well as long as we aren't in the ring we're together.
I think I could love Shane if Jericho wasn't in the picture. But he is. So I go on pretending to everyone but Shane that the two of us are head over heels for each other. While we're alone we frequently talk about the men we *are* in love with. He's so gone over Chuck it's not even close to funny. But then again I could say the same thing about my own feelings for Jericho.
God this is one fucked up situation. With a sigh I look over at the young man in my arms. He's so peaceful when he sleeps. He looks like he doesn't have a care in the world. For the first time in my life, I could actually see spending the rest of my days with one person. Now the hard thing to figure out is whether I'm really thinking these thoughts about Shane or about Chris.
He's so beautiful. I reach out and caress his face. Everything about him is gorgeous. He told me once that he thinks I'm beautiful. What a crock. He's the beautiful one in this relationship. His thick brown hair, those intensely intelligent eyes, a smile that lights up the room, a body that won't quit and those legs� Damn, I could go on for a week about his legs. Long, lean muscular, there's no better feeling then having them wrapped around my waist while I make love to� Holy Fuck. I can't believe it. This can't be happening. I went and fell in love with the little shit.
I sigh as the realization crashes heavily against me. This can't be happening. I'm supposed to be in this to get over Chris� Well actually I guess falling in love means I got over Chris now doesn't it. I'd laugh if I weren't so fucking pathetic. He'll never love me. I know that. He's in love with Palumbo and has been for years. He's just using me. Okay that's not strictly true but he'll never love me. He likes me and I know he cares about me but he will never love me. Fuck. What am I going to do? I have to break it off with him. We can't stay together if he can't love me. Right?
Oh god I don't know what to do. On one hand I want to wake him up make love to him and tell him I love him but on the other hand I don't want anyone to know that I'm in love with Shane Helms. How in the hell did my life get so fucked up? Shit. What I wouldn't give to be back at the dungeon right now getting the shit beat outta me on a regular basis if it meant I wouldn't have to deal with this shit.
On the other hand I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have the friends I have. And most importantly I wouldn't have Shane. Another sigh and I tighten my grip on him. I don't want to wake him by squeezing to hard but I also know now that I don't ever want to let him go. Oh I will if Chuck wakes up and realizes what he could have. If it would make Shane happy I'd find a way to give him the moon.
My how easily we go from saying there's no way I can be in love with this person to saying I'd do anything for him. I shake my head and let out a soft laugh. No my life isn't too fucked up right now. Not at all.
I pull him against me and try my best to fall asleep knowing it will be a long time coming.
Shane's POV
Finally he fell asleep. God I've been waiting for close to two hours for him to go to sleep. I crawl out of bed careful not to wake him and move to a chair near the bed. I have a good view of him now. He's so stunning to look at. I mean okay so he's not conventionally pretty. If I wanted someone pretty I'd go find Jeff.
His hair is so soft and light. I love running my fingers through it when we kiss. Hell even we aren't kissing I still love running my fingers through it. He's got these soul searching blue eyes that just knock me on my ass every time he looks at me. Nine times out of ten I'd love nothing more than to just stare into those beautiful blue eyes. His body� Well I've already mentioned how much I love his body. He fits me so well. Not just during sex but when we're sleeping? He curves against me just right. When we're walking down the hall together, holding hands, kissing, we match up so well.
I sigh as I realize this is going to be one long fucking night. Of course it won't be the first time I've sat and watched him sleep.
Things are so different now that he and I are actually together and not just fuck buddies. Oh I know I don't have a shot in hell as long as Jericho's around. But as long as Jericho and Lance are together he doesn't have a hope of being with the blonde.
I sigh as my thoughts turn to the man I thought I loved. Chuck is great. He's beautiful, sweet, caring, a little bit goofy, and not always all there but for some reason I just don't find myself as turned on by the thought of him. He and Sean actually make the perfect couple. I can't explain why because I honestly have no clue why. It's just easier to tell myself that's why I don't want him anymore rather than admit the real reason.
I look back at the bed and admit to myself that he's the reason. Benoit is the only reason I don't want Chuck anymore. Fuck. I laugh as I realize that I admitted it. I finally admitted the one thing I've been scared too admit for a week now. I went and fell in love with the bastard. I sink further into the chair as I contemplate the mess I'm in.
I'm in love with a man who's in love with someone else. I thought I was in love with someone else until the night the man I am in love with made love to me. Ever since then we haven't been apart other then a few fifteen minute matches. I know that the man I love cares about me but I also know that as long as Chris is around I can never have the one thing I truly desire from him. His love.
This is pretty fucked up. I just want someone to talk to about it. I'd go to Shannon but he's got his own drama to worry about. I'd go to Molly but she's so anti gay she doesn't speak to me outside of working out matches and stuff. I'd ask Jeff but he's such a slut there's no way he knows anything of what I'm feeling. I'd talk to Matt but he's so confused about his own feelings I doubt he'd be of any help. So what do I do? Who can I talk to?
With a sigh I make my way back into the bed where my love lies. I snuggle against him and sigh happily as his arms close around me. I murmur, "I love you," against his throat and close my eyes. I don't know what I'm going to do. The only thing I know for sure is I'd do anything for Chris. Anything in the world he wanted me to do I'd find a way to do it.
So when Jericho wakes up and realizes the greatness that is Benoit, I'll let him go. Not because I want to but because it will make him happy. As I drift toward dreamland I'd swear I hear Chris telling me he loves me.
Lance's POV
I'm snuggled into Jericho's arms and I realize that as much as I *want* O'Haire, I love Jericho. I truly honestly love him. I can't imagine my life without him. As much as I want to run out and find O'Haire and have him fuck me through the mattress, I honestly don't know if I can do that to Chris.
With a sigh I pull away from my lover and seat myself next to him on our bed. Well, our bed in the hotel at least. I watch him sleep which lately has become a normal occurrence. It's a wonder I ever get any sleep anymore. He's so beautiful when he sleeps. Especially when he dreams. I'm jealous as hell when he moans out Benoit's name but at this point I wouldn't care if he went out and fucked the entire fucking fed. Just as long as he comes back to me in the morning.
I finally get up from the bed and head into the bathroom. I don't know what to do. I love Chris but no matter what I do I still want O'Haire. Someday this has to resolve itself right? I mean I can't go on forever wanting another man while I'm in love with this one right?
Another sigh and I'm stripping my clothes off. I step into a mild shower hoping it'll knock some sense into me. Of course it hasn't worked so far but hey� Anything's worth a try right?
I gasp as hands close around my waist. "Hey baby. What are you doing taking a cold shower?"
"Christ. You scared me Chris."
"Sorry baby. I woke up and you were gone."
"Sorry� I just�" I turn to look into the crystal blue eyes I love so much and part of me melts as he reaches around me turning the hot water up. I lean forward kissing him softly. "Chris I fucked up."
"What are you talking about Lance? It's not a big deal that you left."
"No. I cheated on you. I let another man fuck me." He pales so I know he knows I'm telling the truth.
"When? Why? Who?" His questions come slowly like he can't believe he's honestly asking me them.
"A few weeks ago. Before you kissed Benoit. I don't know why except you were out sick and he� well he was there. I'd rather not say who. I don't want his lover finding out."
"Wait. You know I kissed Benoit? How long have you known? Why didn't you say something? Christ Lance I though we told each other everything."
"I didn't exactly hear you jumping at the chance to tell me you kissed Benoit. It doesn't matter how I know� It doesn't matter how long I've known� I didn't say anything because you didn't do anything except kiss him right?"
He looks away and frowns. "Babe, all I did was kiss him but I want so much more from him. I don't want to hurt you. I've never wanted to hurt you. But I want him."
I look away with a small smile. "Then go to him. You deserve to be happy Chris."
"So do you baby. Promise me that you'll go to whoever it is you want."
"I won't cheat on you again."
"This time it's all go. Baby, if you want this guy still go after him. Please. I won't leave until you promise me that you'll go after him."
I nod my head. I mean how many men can honestly say their lovers have given them permission to cheat on them. I guess this means I'm a lucky guy but I still have to wonder what this means for our future.
Jericho's POV
I leave mine and Lance's room hesitantly. I don�t know if sending him after whoever he cheated on me with is a good idea but I want Benoit so bad I can taste him. I approach his door apprehensively. I really hope he's up for this.
I don�t know what I'll do if he turns me away. I knock slowly and wait for someone to answer the door. I stare in shock at the person who opens the door. I didn't expect him to be here. This wasn't supposed to be happening this way. He just stares back at me until we hear Chris's voice from inside the room asking who is at the door. I speak up before Shane has the chance to. "It's me Chris. We need to talk."
Suddenly he appears behind the younger man and smiles down at him before turning his face up to me. My breath catches in my throat as I am faced with his glare. He's so sexy when he's all intense.
"What do you want Jericho?"
"You." Okay. That wasn't quite as smooth as I wanted it to be but what the hell. It gets the point across, which is all I care about.
I hear Shane gasp from behind him but I don't care about the little brat. He's of no consideration to me. I watch almost blindly as Chris turns and faces him. "Shane� I�" I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as the younger man nods his head and pushes past him. I watch, still smiling as he takes off down the hall. I don�t know where he's going and quite frankly I don't give a flying fuck.
I turn to the object of my desire and reach out caressing his face. "Let me come in."
He's staring at me with something akin to outrage. "Fuck Chris. You goddamn asshole. You probably just ruined the best thing I've ever had had in my life. Had you asked me even a week ago for this I would have had you on your back faster than you could have finished your sentence. But now� I don't want you Jericho. I don�t need you. You fucked up my life with a kiss. With just a kiss. But thanks to Shane, I got that life back and it was better than ever. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going after my lover. I have something I have to tell him."
I watch in shock as he pushes past me and stalks down the hall. This can't be happening. He didn't just reject me. Oh my god. I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
I hurry back to my room hoping to catch Lance before he goes after whoever he went after and fling open the door only to discover it's empty. I sigh and sink onto the bed. I know I gave him permission but that was when I thought Benoit would jump at the chance to be with me.
Oh god� I can't be with him if he goes through with this. I know I gave him permission. I do know that. But� I can't be with him if he fucks whoever it is.
Chuck's POV
Sean and I are sitting here in complete silence. Normally our silences are the sweet kind of comfortable silence that two people who know each other's every thought are like. This silence is filled with tension. I don't know what he expected when he told me he fucked Lance Storm but I'm sure it wasn't for me to tell him I cheated on him with Shane.
We don't know what to say to each other now. I love him. I truly do. But I can't help wondering if he's been fucking me while thinking about Lance. And I know the same thoughts are filtering through his head. "I haven't." His voice breaks the tension and I look up into angry blue eyes.
"Neither have I." We've never needed true words to communicate with one another. It's a gift I guess if you want to call it that. We've always had this intense connection that allows us to understand the others thoughts.
He nods his head and speaks again this time his voice softens and the anger disappears from those gorgeous blue eyes. "I want him one last time."
"I know. I want him once more. I'm sorry Sean."
"Don't apologize baby. Can we both agree to this? One time only. No hard feelings. Just to see if�" He trails off and I finish his sentence for him.
"We have what we think we have."
"Exactly. I love you Chuck but�"
"I know. I love you too. We need to do this right?"
"Yeah we do."
We both nod our heads and he leans down kissing me softly. "I will come back to you."
"I know you will Sean. I'll be waiting."
He walks away and I sit back down. I don't know why but I have the feeling that Shane will be here soon. I don't know if I can do this. If I do, even with what we said, I know that Sean and I won't be able to fix our relationship. I can't forgive him if he and Lance hook up and I know he'll never be able to forgive me if I fuck Shane.
I sigh when I hear a soft knock on the door. I open it up and Shane flies into my arms. Tears are streaming down his face and I pull him onto my lap as I sit in the chair I had just occupied. Without my saying a word he spills everything. From him and Benoit hooking up to get over myself and Jericho, to him and Benoit making love, to him realizing he's in love with Benoit, to Chris showing up at their door. I sigh. Thankfully the choice was taken out of my hands.
"Shane, why if you love him did you give him up so easily?"
"Because�" He sniffles again and my heart breaks for this beautiful creature. I hug him as he continues. "Because he loves Chris. He's been in love with Chris for forever. I was just a way to pass the time. I know he cared about me but he's going to be happier now."
"Why'd you come to me?"
He shrugs and I feel the wetness of his face brushing against my shoulder. I pull away from him, grabbing a tissue and wipe off his face. "I wanted you to� I don't know� take the pain away? Chuck I'm sorry but�"
I silence him by pressing my lips to his softly. "Shhhhh�. It's all right baby. I know. You don't want me. It's okay. Why don�t I call down and order us some food and you can tell me more about your feelings for Chris?"
He nods and it's with a much lighter heart that I call up room service and order us up some food. I know now that at least I won't be the reason Sean and I are over.
Sean's POV
I'm searching for Lance. He wasn't in his room. How fucked up is this. I don�t want Lance. I want Chuck. I want nothing more than to be held in Chuck's arms while I lay in the afterglow of our lovemaking.
God what the hell was I thinking allowing him to be with Shane? What the fuck was I thinking?
I am suddenly knocked on my ass and look up into sad blue eyes. "Hey Lance. What's wrong?"
"Chris� He� Benoit� Oh god Sean." He drops to the ground next to me and I don't know what possess me to take him into my arms but I do. I usher him into Mike and Mark's room and shut the door in their faces. Flipping the lock I frown softly.
"One more time, this time without the tears."
He quietly tells me what's been happening. I frown thinking this whole thing sounds way too familiar. "Do you want me to fuck you?" I don't know what possesses me to ask him but I do.
I'm relieved when he shakes his head. "I like you Sean and for months I've been dreaming about having you fuck me but when it comes down to it I love Chris."
I nod my head and reach out hugging him. "Okay then go back to him. Go back and tell him exactly what you've just told me."
"You don't get it. He's off fucking Benoit right now. They have this chemistry that just doesn't compare to anything I've ever seen." He's shaking right now and I hold him against me. With a sigh I stand up pulling him with me. I head for his room tugging him behind me.
Knocking I'm startled when the door flies open and Chris is standing there his eyes red rimmed. I wonder if he was crying or if he was fighting the tears but it's none of my business as I hand his lover over to him.
As soon as that task is done I rush back to my room. I fling open the door and take in the scene before me. Chuck and Shane are sitting on the bed eating some chocolate thing. I stare at Chuck and it's all I can do not to just jump on him and take him right now. "Hey."
They both jump as I obviously interrupt their conversation. Chuck jumps to his feet and launches himself into my arms. "Oh god. I'm so glad you're here. I love you Sean. I couldn't� I didn't want� Fuck." He presses his mouth against mine and we kiss passionately for several minutes before air becomes a necessity.
I look over at the bed and frown when I see tears in the young man's eyes. "Shane? Are you all right man?"
He shakes his head and starts to get off the bed but Chuck sits back down and pulls him into his lap. He quietly explains to me what's been happening with them and I nod my head in understanding. I pull Shane into my lap and kiss the top of his head. "When did you leave them?"
He sniffles before answering. "About half an hour ago I guess."
"Well I ran into Lance and ended up taking him to his room that he shares with Jericho and Chris was there� Alone. Shane Chris didn't cheat on you. He didn't do anything with Jericho."
He stares up at me those brown eyes filled with hope. "Are you sure?"
"I'm relatively sure sweetie. Go find him because odds are he's looking for you." And I need to talk to Chuck alone, I think to myself.
He nods his head and leaps off the bed. He's halfway to the door before stopping and flinging himself at Chuck and me. He kisses up both and thanks us repeatedly before flying out the door. With a sigh I get up and close the door after him. Now comes the hard part. Can Chuck and I get past this? I certainly hope so.
THE END