Part Seven
The person who feels the pain of Mom�s death most acutely is standing by himself out in the backyard, beneath the lone, large oak tree. It was the same tree that he and Mom had exchanged their personalised wedding vows.
I stop a couple of steps behind him, but I don�t say anything. Chris is staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched. For awhile we just stand there in silence.
�I miss her,� he finally says softly. �I feel like I�m the one who�s dead.�
�Daddy, please don�t say that,� I plead, and for the first time I find it hard to call him by his name. �I know it�s hard.�
Chris turns around, and his face is so pale. �You have her face.�
I smile. �Thank you.�
�I still can�t believe she�s gone, you know,� he says quietly, looking down at the ground. �I mean, I can still feel her. It�s like she�s still with me, and the feeling is stronger than ever.�
�Mom will always be with us,� I say, knowing how totally corny and clich�d it sounds, but I don�t care.
�I could never forget your Mom, even if I wanted to. But, it�s so hard. When I think about the future, I can�t��
�We�ll be okay, though, right?� I ask worriedly. Suddenly I�m afraid that I might lose him too. I don�t think I could handle losing both of them.
His face suddenly hardens. �Damn it, Steph! How could you do this to me?�
I�m surprised at his anger. �It wasn�t her fault.�
And then he is crying. �She wasn�t meant to die! We were meant to grow old together!�
I take a step towards him, and I hold him. I also want to cry, but I know that I have to be strong for the both of us. �I�m so sorry.�
�I miss her so much,� he says, his voice filled with so much pain and longing.
�I know. But I�m still here.�
He looks at me, and for a moment I see his eyes flicker with some life. �You are the most beautiful thing she could have ever given me,� he says kindly. �I look at you, and I see her. You�re her daughter. She was always so proud of you. She loved you so much.�
�And she always loved you, Dad.�
