Dedication: As usual, for all my songfics, for the Falln one. *hugz* (I�m still waiting for your take on �Never Be the Same Again wench!) Lyrics by Savage Garden.
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
I want to see you again. Spend some time together, get to know you again. I've missed you, I really have. I need a break from everything; it's getting a little too much for me right now.
Maybe I shouldn't have called but
Someone had to be the first to break
I was determined not to cave. It's been so long. Just hearing your voice again, your real voice not the one you use on TV... I'm surprised you didn't hang up on the spot.
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
Tell me what's really going on in your life. Tell my why the change of attitude, how badly I hurt you when I left you for him...
I'll be courageous if you can pretend
That you've forgiven me
I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do this. I don't know if I can look you in the eyes and act normally. I know I hurt you badly, but I need to see you again. If we can't put it behind us, can we at least pretend?
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
You're not the person I fell in love with. I don't know you, sometimes I feel like I never knew you. Every looked different after I left you and discovered the truth about him. Everything changed.
The picture frames have changed
And so has your name
You're not in the photographs anymore, all the ones of you and I have been relegated to a cardboard box in the back. Looking at them hurts so much, I can't imagine how it makes you feel.
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
We don't talk at all. I'm sure that you prefer it that way. For a while I did too, avoiding you was the only way I could handle the guilt. You may not believe it, but I do feel guilty about what I did. I loved about you a lot and it hurt me to hurt you. But I think everything was for the best, for both of us. I see you everyday, but I never really *see* you anymore. You're not the person I loved not the person I fought to be with. I wanna know who you are now.
Springtime in the city
Always such a relief from winter freeze
The snow was more lonely than cold if you know what I mean
While we were in Canada I went to the places you'd told me about, the ones we planned to visit together. It wasn't the same without you. Nothing is the same without you at my side.
Everyone's got an agenda
Don't stop keep that chin up you'll be alright
Stand tall, you've done that so well over the past months. God knows you've done it better than me. I may seem ok, but I've been dying inside and it's only now that I realise the truth.
Can you believe what a year it's been
Are you still the same?
Has your opinion changed?
It has been on helluva year. What are you like now? Are you still the same person I remember? How has it changed your thoughts on life? Did you ever imagine that this was what you'd be doing in the year 2000?
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed
And so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from these sentences
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
Leaving you was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I had no idea what he was really like then, I only saw what he wanted me to see. I thought that you didn't show me romance and affection. I know now that our relationship had everything including the one thing he could never understand or show me, respect.
I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day
I was never good at love and everything that went with it. Maybe I was too young, too self centred. Maybe I just believed... what's the point? I know I wasn't good for you and I'm surprised you didn't leave me earlier. I know it doesn't mean much baby, but I do feel bad about what happened. You may have put the pain behind you, but I certainly haven't.
So maybe I shouldn't have called
Was it too soon to tell?
Am I making a giant mistake? I hope your alone... one person who can make me feel guilty just by looking at me is bad enough, I don't want someone trying to guilt trip me with every word they say.
Oh what the hell
It doesn't really matter
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?
Has your opinion changed?
I've got to go through with this. For my own peace of mind, to make sure you really are ok. If not.. then I don't know what I'll do. Probably something as stupid as hurting you so badly.
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognise this place
The picture frames have changed
And so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
I�ve missed you so much it physically hurts. I want some closure to this agonising existence I'm going through. Lay all the ghosts to rest, get it behind us. So I can move on. Funny, I never thought that I would be the one suffering this much. Serves me right for leaving the Ayatollah for a cute accent and big brown puppy dog eyes.