Series: The Hard Things In Life
Author: Katie
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em & I'm not claiming that this happened, only in my mind.
Distribution: Only at Castles in the Sky http://members.tripod.com/katemarie_1
Rating: NC-17
Het/Slash/Both: Slash
Summary: The guys come clean with themselves, each other and their families.
Note: This time Chuck and Sean's POV's take place during a different time period� Chris and Shane take place without connection to the others� Kevin, Lance, Scott and Justin are all in order as far as time.
Another Note: Thanks as always to AJ for betaing this *G*
Kevin's POV
I'm half-asleep and can feel Lance and Scott moving around on top of my chest. Not that it really bother's me especially since I know that at some point they'll include me in this make out session. At least they had better.
I feel one of their hands close around my shaft and I can't stop the groan that slips through my lips. "I told you he's awake Scott."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah Lance. Just shut up and fuck me now."
I hear Lance's laugh, low and sexy. I guarantee that he's nodding his head before I feel them both move off of me. I smile broadly and open my eyes to take in the scene before me.
Lance is already buried inside of Scott and I laugh softly when I hear Scott beg for more. I close my eyes and smile happily as I listen to them making love. I think he's finally used to being with us. Lance that is. I think he's used to the fact that Scott and I love him. At least he hasn't wanted to have any deep conversations lately.
I finally sit up when I hear Scott come apart and smile down at the two of them. Lance straddles my hips and leans forward kissing me. "Do you wanna fuck me now?"
I nod my head and let him do the work. He sinks onto my cock forcing a groan out of my mouth. I smile at him as he works himself on my cock. I allow my mind to drift knowing I don't have to do anything here.
I think back over the past few weeks and my smile widens. He's become ours and everyone in the locker room knows it. I've heard talk that Chris still wants to get him back but I don't have any doubts now that that isn't going to happen.
I groan when I feel one of their mouths close over my nipple and my eyes fly open. So much for reminiscing. I grin at Lance and smile when Scotty moves behind him reaching around and taking the young Canadian's cock into his hand.
With a groan and a soft scream from Lance I shoot my seed inside of him. It feels right when I'm inside of him. More right than anything else except Scotty. His seed coats my chest but I ignore the feeling of the sticky warm liquid as it drips down my chest.
Pulling both of them against my chest I kiss Scotty first our tongues melting against each other. I pull away to see Lance grinning at us. I lean over in his direction and cover his mouth with my own. His mouth is soft, softer than Scott's. He moans into my mouth and I smile softly at him.
"I love you both." They smile at me and return the sentiment. I grin as they snuggle against my body, one on either side. This is the position I like the most. All of us drifting towards sleep with them wrapped up in my arms. This is where I feel like I'm most at home.
I'm just about to fall asleep when I hear a curse and a groan from next door. I know I shouldn't but I can't help eavesdropping on my next door neighbors.
Justin's POV
"Fuck Mike. What the hell was that for?"
"You bastard. You fucking did it again. You called out his name."
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I knew it was going to come down to this. I knew that one day one of us would explode when we called out someone else's name. I always expected that I would be the one to explode though. He is so in love, or maybe that should be was in love with Stasiak and Jindrak.
I'd apologize but I know that I was wrong. After he called out my name I called out Lance's. I didn't mean to but at the same time� Well hell� I'm still so in love with Lance that I can't stand seeing him with anyone else. I look away not wanting to see the hurt in Mike's eyes anymore.
"So that's it? You're never going to get over Lance fucking Storm are you? I can never even come in second can I?" I hear him sigh before I feel his fist land square against my jaw. I groan and hit the floor. "Well fuck you Justin. I don't need you. I don't want you. I don't give a flying fuck if you ever get what you want."
I hear the door slam as he walks out but I don't bother to look up. I don't deserve him. Hell I don�t know that I deserve anyone.
I finally get to my feet and climb into the bed. I groan as I hit the pillow. I know I fucked up but there's nothing I can do about it right now.
I hear soft snoring from the room next to mine and I know that it's Lance. No one else could possibly be snoring and make it sound so sweet and sensual. I groan and cover my face with the pillow. I really don�t want to hear him snoring right now. I don't even want to think about him in bed. Any bed much less Kevin and Scott's.
Once that noise stops I'm feeling slightly better until I hear Kevin talking to him. I can hear Lance's soft laugh and I hear Kevin's deeper one. I roll over knowing that this is going to be a very long night. A very, very, very long night.
Lance's POV
I woke up to see Kevin staring at me. Not that I don't love having his full attention on me but it was a little unnerving to see those deep gray eyes staring at me with such lust.
I'm now sitting up with his arms wrapped around my waist while he tickles me. I've tried escaping from his grip but he just holds on tighter. In all reality I'm not trying that hard to get away. I don't want to get away. I like, no make that love having his arms around me.
I hear Scott wake up but he doesn't say anything. I really hope he's not mad that Kevin is tickling me. I look over to see those dark eyes grinning at me. Scott sits up and leans against Kevin. "You two make such a sweet picture. I love seeing the two of you getting along."
Kevin grins and leans over placing a soft kiss on Scott's nose and then tightens his grip on me. "I love having both of you with me while I sleep. It's the worlds best feeling knowing how much I am in love with you two and knowing that feeling is returned."
I snuggle into his arms wanting to say how much I love both of them but I keep my mouth shut. I don't know how the words would be perceived and I really don't think I could stomach losing them at this point.
I feel Scott's arms wrap around me and I feel him wiggling around until I'm snug against his chest as well as Kevin's. I don't know how they manage to do that without smushing me but they do.
A hand slides down my stomach and takes my hardening cock into its grasp. It's easy for me to tell at this point whose hand it is because Scott is never quite this gentle with me. It's like Kevin thinks I'm going to break if he's too rough with me or something.
His hand slides over my cock softly making me moan into Scott's mouth as the dark haired man covers my mouth with his. I slide my tongue in to mate with his. Its really not any amount of pressure just more the feeling of our tongues sliding together.
Kevin's hand is making quick work of my cock. I groan as his thumb caresses the tip of my dick. I hate the whimper that slips from my mouth but luckily the sound is more or less muffled by Scott's mouth. I rock my hips against the pressure around my cock wanting more.
Kevin slides both of us onto our backs and slithers down my body kissing my thighs and licking at my balls. My eyes nearly cross when he takes my dick into his mouth. I groan and arch up into his mouth. "Fuck. Kev� Gonna�" That's all I can manage to get out before spilling deep in his throat.
He grins at me as he slides up my body before kissing me passionately. I don't know what else to do so I smile back. Scott grins at both of us before snuggling into Kevin's other side and going to sleep. I watch until Kevin falls asleep too. I lean my head against Kevin's shoulder and speak softly hoping they can't hear me. "I love you guys. I don't know how I would ever live without you."
Scott's POV
I nearly speak when I hear Lance utter for the first time that he loves us but I know he only did it because he thought we were both sleeping. From the hitched silent breath under my head I know Kevin heard him too.
Now what do we do about it? Don't get me wrong. This makes me so happy I feel like I could burst but at the same time� Well fuck� Does he love Kev more than me? Does he love me more than Kev? This raises far too many questions in my mind.
I'm never going to get to sleep now. Besides all of the questions that are jumping into my brain I feel like jumping around the room like a woman who's just been asked by her lover to marry him.
I wait until I hear Lance's soft snoring before climbing out of bed. I know Kevin heard him. He had to have heard Lance utter those words. I also know that he won't want to wake up Lance so he'll stay put, which is exactly what I want. I head out onto the balcony of our room and sigh as the cool air brushes over my naked body.
On one hand I want Lance to be in love with both of us. I really do. But at the same time I think I want him to be more in love with me than with Kev. Maybe that's wrong of me but I'm the one who wanted Lance in our bed. I'm the one who convinced Kevin to allow Lance to stay. Okay so maybe Kevin's just as in love with him as I am now but I was in love with him first dammit.
I laugh softly when I realize I sound like a petulant child. I shouldn't be jealous of my lover. Either of them but I feel like I'm sitting on the outside looking in as far as they're concerned. I know it's ridiculous and quite frankly this whole thing was my idea but� Well dammit none of this would be happening if I hadn't wanted Lance in our bed.
Sinking into a nearby chair I sigh. I know I'm acting childish and I knew going into this there was a risk of one of them falling in love with the other or even of them falling in love with each other. Again, this was my idea and I have no one else to blame for my childish behaviour. I grab a nearby object and smile when I realize the hotel won't miss it. I wing it out as far as I can and watch happily as it floats downwards.
I head back into then room knowing that nothing has changed but I feel better for having gotten rid of some of the anger. I snuggle into the bed and Kevin automatically wraps his arms around me. I smile and allow myself to drift off to sleep. I'll talk to them about this in the morning and we'll work everything out.
Chuck's POV
We're actually at my parent's house and my mom is fluttering around doing mindless work while we wait for my dad to come home. I wonder what they think I'm going to tell them. I guarantee they aren't expecting me to tell them I'm gay.
Sean keeps taking my hand and squeezing it, I suppose just letting me know that he's here and he loves me no matter what happens. I sigh again and get to my feet. Like everyone else in my family I can only sit still for so long before I go insane.
"Mom when is dad getting home?"
"I don't know Chuck. He left work early to come home and see you but he had to stop off at the doctors on the way."
"Is he okay?"
"Just a routine check up honey. It's no big deal."
"Oh okay." I sigh again and sit next to Sean. I know it should be obvious to my mom just from the way that we're sitting that we're more than friends but she is as always oblivious.
"Mom? Are you okay? You seem nervous about something?"
"Your father has something he has to tell you about your brother."
"What is it? Is Zach okay? Is Jake okay?"
"I'm just fine." I look up at the new voice and get to my feet quickly. I may be willing to come out right now but not yet. Dad has to be here to hear it too.
"Hey bro. Long time." We exchange a quick hug and he grins at me.
"It has been a long time." He sighs and nods his head in Sean's direction. "Let's go for a walk little brother."
I nod my head and look back at Sean with a smile. He nods his head and winks at me. I follow my brother from the room with a sigh. Once we're outside in our backyard he sits on the old swing set and starts swinging gently. "It's been too long Chuck. A lot has changed around here including me not being welcome as long as Dad's at home."
"What's going on Zach? You're Dad's favourite. You've always been Dad's favourite."
"Not any more." He looks up at me and smiles. "I don't want you to hear this from Dad. I think this should come from me."
I nod my head and start to speak but he cuts me off mid word. "Don't. Just let me talk." I nod again and sink onto the tire swing across from him. He smiles and looks up at the sky. "I'm married for starters. But we have to live in Vermont."
"Why?"
"Shut up and let me talk little bro." He laughs when I nod and resumes talking. "I don't know how to say this. You're probably going to never want to talk to me again." He frowns and looks back at me. "I guess I should just say it huh?"
"That's usually for the best." I can't help but say. I'm starting to get an idea of what's he's going to say and I really hope he understands when I tell him what I have to say.
"I'm� married� Fuck I already said that didn't I? I'm married to a guy Chuck. I don't know how that makes you feel but I understand if you don't want to talk to me ever again."
"Why?"
"Why am I gay?" He asks incredulously.
I grin and reach out slapping his leg. "No you dumb fucker. Why would you understand if I never talked to you again? Being gay isn't something you should be ashamed of bro."
"What do you know about it? Dad won't speak to me. Mom goes into a conniption every time I bring Doug over to the house. Sandra thinks I'm some sort of freak for this. Jake says I need to see a shrink but that's his answer for everything. So don't tell me I shouldn't be understanding if you freak out too." He pauses and then grins softly at me. "Why aren't you freaking out?"
"You wanna know why I'm not freaking out? You wanna know what I know about being gay?"
He nods his head looking at me curiously. "Easy big brother. Sean? He's not just my best friend."
"You're�" He trails off with a smile. "Dad's going to kill you, you know that right?"
"I figure I've never been up to par as far as he's concerned so this will just be one more disappointment to him." I shrug. "I love Sean. I've never in my life felt this way about anyone." He nods his head and gets to his feet. I follow his example and he grabs me up into a tight hug.
"Thanks for telling me Chuck. You should come up to Vermont when you're done here. You can meet Doug."
I smile and nod my head. He follows me into the house where he makes a beeline for Sean. He pulls my lover to his feet and talks quietly to him before giving him a brief hug and making his way towards the front door. "I'll see you later little brother. And Mom tell Dad I stopped by."
She frowns and walks over to Sean patting his shoulder. "I'm sorry about Zach. He's a little zealous sometimes."
I laugh softly before walking into the living room. Whether or not Dad's here I have to tell my mom and I have to tell her now. I walk straight past her and Sean raises an eyebrow but opens his arms for me. I slide easily into his embrace and meet his waiting mouth with my own.
I turn to see my mom watching open mouthed and my dad sputtering in the doorway. I grin and feel Sean's arms tighten around my waist. "I'm sorry to tell you this way. I didn't even think I should tell you. But Sean's not just my best friend. He's my lover. We've been together for� Years now. I don't know exactly. I've never been any good with dates. I'll go get my stuff and be out of the house as soon as my stuff's all together."
My dad's still sputtering and my mom is now in tears as I drag Sean with me to my old bedroom. There's really not much I want to take except some old pictures of me and my brothers and sister. I grab some clothes that I know still fit and throw them in an old gym bag. Sean follows me silently until we reach the car. My dad's screaming obscenities at us but I manage to ignore him. My hand on his arm stops Sean from going back and beating my dad up. I don�t know why I stop him but I guess part of me feels that my dad just isn't worth it now. He's just not worth wasting my time over.
Sean's POV
I really want to walk back to the house and just punch his father but knowing that he's really okay with all of this makes me pause and not do it. I shudder upon hearing his father call him a faggot.
"Fuck. I can't stand listening to him anymore baby."
"I know Sean." He steps towards me. We're almost to the car so I don't know why he doesn't just pull me into it but I think I like this response better. His mouth closes over mine and I groan as one of his hands close over my ass and pull us closer together.
He pulls back a few seconds later and grins at me. "See now you don't even hear him do you?"
I nod my head, the lust raging through my veins making speech nearly impossible. He was right though. I don't hear his father shouting anymore. But suddenly I really can't wait to get back to our hotel room and just fuck him senseless. He throws a grin back at me and climbs into the driver's side.
I slide into the passenger seat and smile over at him before he backs out of the driveway. I can dimly hear his father shouting something about fucking men but at this point I don't give a flying fuck.
I keep smiling until he's no longer paying attention to me. And that's when I decide to make my move. I lean over kissing his neck softly. I hear him whimper but continue kissing lower.
I start sucking the skin just above his waistband until he slams on the brakes. "Fuck. Sean you're not doing this to me while I'm driving."
"Yeah I am Chuck."
"No you're not. If you wanna fuck we're pulling over to the side of the road."
"Okay." I don�t care where we are just as long as I get to bury myself in him. Apparently he knows my intentions because he climbs into the backseat. I follow him after making sure there's actually going to be enough room.
He's naked by the time I'm fully in the backseat and he reaches out tugging my shirt over my head. "Jesus. What are we doing Sean? What if we get caught?"
"Well, I don't know. I haven't thought that far in advance. As for what we're doing? I really hope you know what we're doing babe."
He laughs and manages to tug my pants and underwear to my ankles. I couldn�t have even pulled that off so the fact that he did it throws me. I laugh and situate us so that he's doing most if not all of the work. He groans and sinks onto my cock without any preparation.
I groan as he begins riding me hard. Fuck he's so damn tight. I can barely stop myself from cumming every time he slides back down onto me.
I reach out and meet his hand already on his cock but that doesn't stop me from stroking him as well. Our hands move together as easily as our bodies do. Not surprisingly we both cum minutes later. As hard as he's riding me I'm surprised we didn't cum sooner. But I'm not going to complain. He leans over licking his cum off my chest and stomach with a smile. I'm still buried inside him but there's no way that I'm asking him to move. I enjoy the sensation of him on my cock.
He smiles at me and runs his fingers through my hair. "I love you Sean. I really love you."
"I love you Chuck. Don't ever forget that I love you." We grab our clothes and try for several minutes to get dressed as we are. We finally give up and I open the door forcing us to fall out of the car. My eyes widen when I look up into Kevin's eyes. Chuck hops to his feet and grabs my pants covering himself.
"Shit. Kev� We� Well� Then thing is�"
I stumble from the car and ignore the fact that I'm naked as I begin stammering out excuses to Kevin. He laughs at us and reaches out clapping a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Fuck boys. I thought you'd had some sort of car trouble. Don't sweat it. I'm not going to say anything about this. Fact is I've been wondering how you two are doing since the whole thing."
We both sigh with relief and he smiles before heading back to his car. I smile and wave to Lance and Scott who are both laughing. I'm not sure if they're laughing at the predicament, us trying to come up with an excuse, or at our bodies. I highly doubt it's the last one but I'd bet money on the first. Oh well.
I look over at Chuck and he grins back at me before handing me my pants. I tug them on. I'm not too worried about underwear or anything else for that matter. I climb behind the wheel as Chuck gets dressed. He smiles before sliding into the passenger seat.
"Thank you Sean."
"For what baby?"
"For everything you've ever done for me. For loving me. For being my best friend as well as the only man I've ever met who I'd be willing to do what we just did with. But mostly� For loving me."
I smile at him and reach across the car pulling him against me. "I love you baby. I always have and I always will."
I've said it before. I don't know if we're going to be together forever� But I do know that I will always love him no matter what the circumstances. I kiss his cheek and he settles onto my shoulder as I drive us towards the hotel.
Benoit's POV
I haven't been this nervous since my high school prom. My mom was dying to meet my girlfriend then and I was so hesitant to introduce them. Mostly because I knew nothing would ever come from what I had going with her. Hell the only reason I'd asked her out was to get laid.
I shake my head not too surprised to see my thoughts wandering. My mom is waiting for Shane and I at the airport and Shane can't keep his hands off of my cock. It's driving me insane but as long as I think about something else I'm not likely to cum.
He's insatiable. Or at least he has been the last few weeks. I'm not really sure why but I can't say as I don't like it. It seems every minute we're not wrestling we're trying to break some world record for fucking. Even when we're around other's he's got his hands all over me. Or I have my hands all over him. Either way it's reeking havoc on my body. I don't know if I'm up or down anymore.
I'm not trying to complain but a man needs to sleep on occasion. I look over at Shane who is smiling sweetly at me. Fuck. I hate that look. It's the one I can never say no too. "Chris?"
"Yeah Shane?"
"Are you sure your mom is going to like me?"
"Baby, she's going to love you."
"How do you know that?"
"Because all she's ever wanted is for me to find the one person who I want to spend the rest of my life with."
He pales and I freeze. I didn't mean to say that right now. "Is that person me then Chris?"
"I� Fuck." I look away and out the window of the plane. I don't know if I can say the words. Telling him I love him is one thing but admitting to anyone other than myself that I want to spend the rest of my life loving Shane is something completely different. I've only told one other man that I loved him but even then I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life loving Bret Hart.
I'm saved from having to answer by the stewardess coming over the intercom and announcing that we're to place our chairs and table in an upright position. Shane and I hadn't laid ours down so it's no problem for us.
He clutches at my hand like it's a lifeline. I hadn't realized until we became lovers that he's scared to death to fly. When we're in the air it's not bad but when we take off and land he manages to drain all the blood out of my hand by squeezing so tightly.
Finally, gratefully we're on the ground and we're allowed to exit the plane. The sooner I get him off the plane the better for both of us. He smiles sheepishly at me as he always does after one of his panic attacks. "Baby, I've told you a million times. I don't mind being your lifeline here."
"I know Chris� I just hate acting like a child when it comes to flying."
I laugh softly and other passengers be damned I grab him and kiss him softly. "Baby, it's a perfectly normal fear. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I love you no matter what fears you have."
He smiles shyly at me and again I'm struck but just how much I love the man standing before me. "I love you Chris. I love you so much."
I nod my head and bend over grabbing his carry on bag. I throw both his and mine over my shoulder and lead the way down the corridor. He takes my proffered hand in his with a smile. We reach the baggage claim just in time for the luggage to be unloaded. He reaches out grabbing our one bag and leans his head to one side with a questioning look on his face. "Is that your mom babe?"
I turn around and look around, more excited than I thought I could be to see her again. More than just being able to see her again it's bringing Shane home to meet her. She waves and I throw one arm up waving back.
I throw that arm around Shane and lead him over to my mother. "Mom, it's so good to see you again."
"Christopher you've lost weight." I roll my eyes. She always thinks I've lost weight. She turns to Shane and smiles broadly. "So you're Christopher's young man?"
Shane nods having turned suddenly shy on me. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Benoit."
"Just call me Mom sweetie. Let's go get in the car. I've got dinner on hold until we get home. Christopher, you'll never guess who's come to visit."
I'm still grinning over my mom grabbing Shane's hand and leading him away from me and to her pickup truck. He's following along helplessly as I pick up our bag and follow behind. He throws a help me look over his shoulder but I just shrug. He frowns at me and I hurry to catch up. He smiles when I finally do and reaches out with his free hand grabbing mine tightly.
"So Mom, who's at the house?"
"What darling?"
"You said I'd never guess who came to visit. So who is it?"
"Someone you care about very much. Someone who means a lot to you."
"Mom." I know I sound exasperated but the truth of it is I am. She loves trying to confuse the hell out of me and it usually works too. "Just tell me who is at the house."
"Bret."
"Hart?" I'm shocked and a little scared that it's really him. Other than Shane he's the only man I've ever truly loved.
"Of course. You don't know any other Bret do you?"
"No Mom I guess I don't." I look at Shane and see his frowning face but I don't want to answer his questions. I pull my hand away from his. "How long has he been there?"
"Stopped by just before I came to pick you two up." She prattles on ignoring the obvious tension between the three of us now. Shane's not completely aware of why the tension is there but he knows something's wrong. "He's such a sweet man. Said he had to tell you something so I told him to wait at the house while I came and picked you up. He was more than a little shocked to find out you have a lover but I guess that's understandable."
"Mom. Please. Stop talking." I'm desperate to keep her quiet about why he'd be shocked to find out about Shane and me. I need to be the one to tell him but I don't know how in the world I'm ever going to get the words out.
She ignores me or maybe she didn't hear me. "I mean after all until you joined the WWF you and he we're so in love."
Shane turns stunned brown eyes on me and starts to speak. I just shake my head and throw our bags in the rear of the pickup. I hop in after our bags while my mom and Shane climb into the cab of the truck. I shudder to think what she's saying to him right now but I can't face him. Maybe it's cowardly of me but I just can't do it.
Shane's POV
I'm not nearly na�ve enough to believe that I'm Chris's first lover. But hearing that he and Bret Hart were lovers? To say the least I'm shocked and a little scared that I'm going to have to face him. Chris's mom is still rattling on about Bret and Chris and how in love they were. My heart feels like it's been shattered into a million pieces.
I turn around to look at the man I love and I freeze. He's sitting back there looking as gorgeous as ever with his face turned up to the sky and a soft smile on his face. I tap lightly on the glass separating us and he jumps a little. He turns to me and frowns.
I know he thinks I�m going to be mad about it but I'm not. I'm upset and scared out of my wits that he's going to see Bret and just� I don't know. I guess break up with me or something. I shiver slightly against the warm air knowing that I won't be able to manage without him in my life.
I want his reassurance that that isn't going to happen but I don't think I'm going to get it. I don't think even he knows what's going to happen when he sees his ex.
I turn around just as his mom pulls into a long driveway. We travel a few more minutes before she stops in front of a large house. "Wow. This is� I was expecting a small house or something."
His mom places a hand on my arm and smiles at me as we feel Chris hop out of the back. "Chris bought this for me shortly after he went to WCW. He was so excited to be able to afford this place for me."
"Where does he live?" I look around assuming that he has a small house on the property.
She laughs softly and reaches out patting my arm softly. "In the house with me. But he's so very rarely ever home. Vince works my boy too hard." She smiles softly as he heads up the steps. "He had this house built from the ground up. Specifically to his design. I think he originally was going to keep it for himself and Bret but in the end they usually stayed in Calgary."
My heart leaps into my throat when I see Bret stepping out onto the large verandah that seemingly surrounds the entire place. The last thing I want to hear is that he built a place for himself and his ex lover. I watch rooted to the spot as Bret holds his arms out for a hug. I don't want to watch but I can't force myself to pull my eyes away.
His mom is smiling as the two hug tightly. I watch silently not aware that there are tears sliding down my face until she turns to me. I turn away and stare out towards the direction we had just come. "I� I need to go for a walk. Tell Chris I'll be back in a bit would you?"
She agrees and heads towards the house. I can hear her feet crunch the gravel as I start to head in the opposite direction. I never thought seeing anyone hug would hurt so much. I reach up to wipe off my face a little startled to find how wet it is.
A few minutes later I come across a small pond and sit down beside it. I reach out and pull a wild flower from the ground with a sigh. I start plucking it apart as I contemplate what I'm going to do if Chris decides he wants to be back with Bret.
I know I will never be able to find anyone that I love nearly as much as I love him. He's my life. I spend all of my time with him. Shannon used to hang out with us on occasion but he stopped that after a while. I'm not sure if it was because whoever he's in love with broke up with him and he didn't want to see anyone being happy or what but I realize that outside of Chris I don't have anyone. My family and I have never been big on spending time together.
There's no one in the world I want to spend time with except maybe Shannon but he's in this big drama with whomever he's with. I'm of no help to him.
I can't believe I've done this to myself. I've shut myself off from everyone I know. Jeff for obvious reasons. Not that I've ever gotten along with Jeff that well but still. Matt has finally made a decision that he's straight not gay and that he doesn't want to hang around with anyone who is gay. When Molly found out about me and Chris she all but told me to go to hell which is okay because if she's going to be so phobic about me being with a man I love then I don't really want her around. Everyone else I associate with doesn't speak to me anymore. Mainly because they don't like Chris all that much. Which if they don't like the man I love then I don't want to spend time with them anyhow.
I sigh and lay back on the grass. I wonder what's going on back at the house. I wonder if Chris and Bret are making up right now. I shake my head and start making shapes with the clouds.
Bret's POV
I'm sitting in the front walkway waiting impatiently for Chris, his mom and his latest lover to get here. I don�t know how to feel about him replacing me. Although I guess as long as we've been apart he's not really replacing me. And I was expecting him to have a lover. Or at least be with someone else casually. If he wasn't it would make what I have to tell him that much harder.
You see, as much as I love Chris, and trust me I do still love the little shit, I've fallen in love with someone else. Someone who by all accounts is way too young for me. I know that. But at the same time I kind of want Chris's blessing. I know I sound psychotic wanting my ex-lover's blessing on my new relationship.
I couldn't even tell you how I got together with this young man who is the love of my life. I sigh with relief when I hear Chris's mom's pickup pull into the driveway. I want to bide sometime and let them at least get out of the car so I stare out the window trying to figure out who Chris's lover is.
I have to admit to being shocked when I realize that his lover is Shane Helms. Not that I have anything against him. He's a good kid but I never pictured Chris with someone� Fuck what am I doing? I'm trying to say I actually think I know who Chris should be with? Yeah right. I'll be lucky if he doesn't try to hit me.
I wait until Chris is out of the back of the truck and Shane and mom are standing next to the vehicle before leaving the safety of the house. "Hey Chris. Long time."
"Yeah it has been." He smiles softly and leans into me when I open my arms for a hug. I don't want us to act like strangers. I know we'll never be lovers again. I don't want to be his lover anymore.
"Chris there's something I have to tell you."
"I know. But let me say something first." I nod my head puzzled as to what he has to say. He turns and looks for Shane only to discover that his lover is walking away. "Mom?"
"Shane went for a walk dear. I'll go inside and finish up dinner." She smiles in my direction. She never liked me while Chris and I were together but now we have an understanding. I never wanted to hurt him and Chris and I made a mutual decision to break up when he joined the WWF. I guess she can respect that because she's never made any comment to me whenever I see her in Calgary. "Bret honey, you're welcome to stay for dinner if your young man wants to come over too."
I nod my thanks and watch quietly as she walks inside. "Go on Chris. You had something you wanted to say."
"I was going to tell you that I can't be with you anymore. I don't love you. Not enough anyways to break Shane's heart. He's everything to me Bret. Everything. But� If you're with someone new� What is it you have to say to me Bret?"
I smile softly at him. He's one of my closest friends and I don't want to lose that. "I'm in love. Not with you so don't worry. But I am head over heels in love. He's a wrestler, which I swore I'd never fall in love with another wrestler ever again but it happened. He's young though."
"Why did you want to tell me this Bret? We haven't been together for at the very least three years."
"Well it's kind of an awkward situation. See he's in the WWF with you and he's young. Really young. I guess in some sort of weird way I want your blessing on this."
"Who is he Bret?"
"I'd rather not say right now."
"Okay. You keep saying he's young but how young is he?"
I sigh. This is the question I was dreading. "He's over twenty years younger than I am."
"Damn. Twenty years Bret?"
"He just turned twenty three years old this summer. I turned forty five this year."
"Damn." I frown at the look on his face. He doesn't look angry.
"Chris? What are you thinking man?"
"Just that� Well hell Bret. I don't know. My first thought was what the hell are you thinking. But if it's who I think it is then� Well fuck man. I don't know that I blame you for falling in love with him. He's a great kid and it would explain why he stopped hanging around Shane and I."
"Yeah then it is who you're thinking it is. He's everything to me man. Everything."
Chris smiles one of his great smiles and I can't help smiling back. He reaches out clapping a hand on my shoulder. "I'm happy for you man. Really, really happy for you."
We hug again. This time it's with actual feeling for a change. I'm happy that he's found Shane and happier that I've found my lover.
"I should go find Shane and explain to him everything."
"Let me go."
Chris looks at me like I've just lost my mind. Maybe I have. I probably shouldn't want to seek out the man who is my ex-lover's lover but I want to talk to Shane about Chris and everything else. I want him to know from me that he has nothing to fear from my relationship with Chris. We're just friends now. Nothing more.
THE END