Author: Katie
E-mail: [email protected] or [email protected]
Disclaimer: Only in my dreams do I have any say in what these guys (or girls) do. I don't own 'em & I'm not claiming that this happened, only in my mind.;)
Distribution: If you want it, take it. Just let me know where you are putting it, please.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Lance's take on what's happening in Confused
Notes: Lance's POV & this is dedicated to Frala & AJ who have made me all hyper about Lance Storm :P
Note: Part of the Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back series
I watch my husband as he gathers his little brother close. It's been over two months and we just found Jeff and Sean. Chuck is hugging Sean while Taker looks on disapprovingly. I don't know why he's so disapproving about Chuck and Sean's relationship. I can see him getting a little jealous but this is Sean for god's sake. The man who is so head over heels in love with my brother in law that he caused at least ten thousand dollars in damage when Jeff was kidnapped. I walk over to Matt and Jeff bringing Jeff's daughters with me. They all run away from me and towards their dad. They cling to him desperately. I don't really blame them. I was getting to the point where I wasn't sure we would ever see Jeff or Sean again. I hold Matt as he continues crying. I know they are happy tears but I still feel the need to comfort my baby. He snuggles against my chest and Jeff looks up when he hears his brother sob. I smile at Jeff and he smiles back. Jeff has the sweetest smile when he's worried about his brother. And you are probably thinking that Matt is the protector. You'd be wrong. Jeff is. Even though he is three years younger, Jeff is the one protects his brother. Matt is a tad on the emotional side so I guess to that extent it makes sense. Jeff looks over to where Sean is still being hugged by Chuck and I see something that looks scarily like terror flash in his eyes. It's gone less than a second later but I know what I saw.
Jeff shakes his head when I look at him questioningly and walks up to Taker, who is holding the baby. He takes his little girl into his arms and hugs her tight. Sean reaches over and touches his shoulder. Jeff jerks away violently and hisses "Don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me or my girls."
Sean looks down at Jeff, clearly in pain at the words. Chuck frowns at Jeff and then looks questioningly at Sean. Sean shakes his head and continues staring at Jeff. Jeff takes Laura's stuff from Taker and heads back to Matt and me. I wrap an arm around Jeff's shoulders and take my entire family out to our car. I load the girls into the back with Matt and set Jeff in the front seat. I keep stealing glances at my brother in law and he refuses to meet my eyes. I wonder if he's just ashamed about the rape or what. Maybe he doesn't know that I know he's been raped. I kept it from Matt but I had to tell Chuck and Taker. We arrive at the hotel and I convince Matt to take the girls to our room. I can't tell him why but he finally does as I ask after much pleading and a bribe. Okay so I have to get on my knees and let him fuck me. I can live with that as long as he doesn't find out that Jeff was raped. I take Jeff to his room and he just sits on the bed staring at me. I finally speak for the first time since arriving at the police station. "Okay Jeff. Out with it. What's up with you and Sean?"
"Just butt out Lance. This is none of your business."
"That's where you are wrong bro. It is my business when my brother in law is in pain."
"You don't know anything about this Lance so just stay out of it."
"I know that you were raped. I know that those assholes did all sorts of unspeakable things to you. And I know that you were for all intents and purposes a virgin before this happened." Jeff looks up at me horrified that I know so much about what happened.
To my surprise and horror he starts to sob. I don't deal well with tears. I sit next to Jeff on the bed and wrap my arms around him while he sobs out the entire story. I am horrified as he details being raped and beaten. When he tells me about he and Sean making love, I am utterly touched. "And he was so sweet and loving and then they came back in and raped me again and then they took him out of the room and I didn't see him for several days and when I did, they made him�. They forced him to�" Jeff trails off in sobs before he can finish anymore.
I hold him close. I think I get the picture. Those bastards forced Sean to rape Jeff. It sickens me to think about that but I force Jeff's face up to meet my eyes. "Jeff, honey, did they make Sean rape you?"
Jeff sobs harder and hugs me tight as he nods. I feel tears slip down my own face as I contemplate the ways to get a hold of Test, Albert and Show so that I can kill them. I think they officially fucked up any chance of Sean and Jeff being together. Jeff eventually falls asleep and I lay him in the bed and watch him sleep. Just as I am about to drift off to sleep, Jeff screaming shocks me completely awake. I sit on the bed next to him and pull him into my arms. He is awake now and scared. He clings to me, tears streaming down his face. This poor child doesn't deserve this. I hold him close until he falls asleep. He wakes up several more times during the night in tears, completely terrified. I have to stay on the bed with him in order to keep him from waking the entire hotel.
The next morning I wake up, stiff and sore. Jeff wakes up minutes later, completely disoriented. I wait until he realizes where he is before speaking. "Jeff, honey? Do you want to meet the girls for breakfast?"
Jeff nods his head slowly. "Yeah. I guess. Lance?"
I look at him, smiling and waiting for him to ask his question. He looks up at me with tears filling his eyes. I didn't think it was possible to cry as much as Jeff has. "I hate to ask but please don't tell Matt. I don't want him to know what happened to me. I know I have no right to ask you to keep this from him but�."
I cut him off with a hug. "Shhhhhhhh. It's okay Jeff. We don't have to tell Matt about what happened to you. We won't tell anyone you don't want to tell." Jeff nods and holds onto me. I feel bad that I can't do more for him. He finally pulls away and heads for the bathroom. I wait silently while he showers. It takes him quite a long time but I guess that's to be expected. He probably feels dirty so I let him take as long as he needs. I take the time to call Matt and tell him to meet us in the hotel restaurant for breakfast. Matt agrees but only after begging me to tell him what's happening. I remind him gently of his promise to let Jeff use me as his confidante if he needs me. Matt swears and grumbles for several minutes before agreeing to let me keep Jeff's secrets. I thank him and agree to meet him and the girls in half an hour. I no sooner hang up than Jeff steps from the bathroom.
He's wearing only a towel and his skin is pink. When I ask him why he responds "I just want to feel clean." I nod slowly, not saying a word and he gets dressed quickly. We head to my room so I can shower and change. As I step from the bathroom, I see Jeff staring at a picture Matt has kept out for the girls. It's of Sean and Jeff sitting together. The picture was taken before Jeff and Andrea divorced, before Jeff knew he was gay. They were laughing about Matt falling down the ramp before a match he and I had. It was funny watching Matt tumble down the ramp. The only good thing was it was a taping so they were able to edit it out. Jeff smiles at me and gives a little laugh before breaking down.
I pull him into my arms and hug him tight. "I know Jeff. I know."
He pulls away and starts screaming at me. "You don't know Lance. You don't know anything about what it feels like to be violated; to be raped by the man you love. I could care less about those other assholes touching me. Sean raped me. How the fuck am I supposed to get over that? How the fuck am I supposed to look at him and see the same man I love ever again?"
I close my eyes as he continues screaming at me. He starts to get graphic and I have to bite my lip in order not to cry. As far as I can tell from what Jeff is saying, they put a gun to his head and told Sean to rape him or they would kill Jeff. While part of me wants to hunt Sean down and strangle him for hurting Jeff, I know why he did it. He was trying to protect Jeff. And by doing so, ruined any opportunity they would have had at being together. Jeff is still screaming at me but now the screams are broken up by sobs. I wrap him up in my arms and hold him while he fights my embrace. He's still shouting at me but my chest muffles his voice. I don't even notice as the tears stream down my face. When he calms down a little, I ask him to tell me exactly what happened. He shakes his head and says, "I can't Lance. Not right now. Maybe some other time but not right now."
I nod and hug him again. We head downstairs and walk into the restaurant. Jeff looks better even if he isn't feeling any better. I spot our table, half of it hidden by a partitioning wall. Jeff approaches the table ahead of me. He stops short with a gasp. I look around him and close my eyes as Jeff shoves past me, running out of the restaurant. I watch Jeff go as Matt frowns at me. "What's wrong with Jeff, Lance?"
"I can't say. But what is Sean is doing here?"
"The girls and I bumped into him in the elevator. They invited him to join us for breakfast. Why? Is something wrong with Sean joining us?" I don't answer Matt but instead glare at Sean. I may understand why he did it but that doesn't mean I am going to forgive him for it. Sean looks up at me sadly and I guess he realizes I know what happened because he stands up abruptly and walks out. I sit down heavily and place my head in my hands with a sigh. When I look up Matt is frowning at me. I just shake my head and he gathers up the girls and leaves me sitting there alone. I don't take notice as two men join me at the table until Chuck touches my arm.
"Lance?"
I look up and snarl. I can't help myself. Chuck looks at me in alarm. Taker places an arm around him protectively and glares at me. "Lance, we know what happened. Can't you talk to Jeff? Make him understand?"
I can't believe what I am hearing. "You want me to make things all better for Sean when he raped my brother in law? You have got to be out of your mind."
Taker glares at me and replies, "Listen asshole, this is killing Sean. He never meant for this to happen."
"Maybe not but it doesn�t change the fact that he raped Jeff. Maybe he didn't have a choice, in fact I know he didn't have a choice but it doesn't change the fact that he forced himself on Jeff. I cannot forgive him for that and I will never forget. Good day gentlemen." I stand up and march out of the restaurant, leaving Chuck and Taker staring after me.
(2/?)
Disclaimers see pt. 1
Takes place at the same time as Chapter 33 of Confused
Jeff walks into the room completely torn up and I follow my first instinct. I hug him to me and just let him cry. Matt says his little brother is relying on me far too much and maybe he is but I won't turn him away. And even if I wanted to Matt would never forgive me if I did. I ask him what happened and he tells me about the nightmare and making Shannon cry; about running away and Shane and Kanyon finding him. And he tells me about Sean being on the elevator with them. As he is sobbing this part out my first instinct is to find Sean and just beat the hell out of him. That is until Jeff tells me that he still loves him. The way he breaks the news breaks my heart. He sounds so distraught, so tired and so defeated. He looks up at me sadly and asks, "What am I going to do, Lance? I love him. I don't care about what he did but after all this time of me ignoring him and pulling away will he ever be able to forgive me?"
I grind my teeth in an effort not to say what I am really thinking. I don't think that Sean deserves Jeff. I never did. But it is Jeff's choice. He looks at me curiously as though he is trying to figure out what I am thinking. I smile softly at him and hug him close again. "Jeff, if you're sure you can be with him and not relive him raping you every time then by all means go tell him how you feel. But keep in mind that Sean may be a little angry over the way he has been treated the last few weeks." Jeff pales at the thought of Sean being mad at him. I don't want to scare Jeff but I think that it's better if he and Sean aren't together. He needs someone a little more stable than Sean is.
Jeff sniffles and looks up at me sadly for a minute. He shakes his head and looks at me with a smile. "You know what Lance? You may be right. Sean might be mad at me but I'll never know unless I ask him. Do you have any paper? I wanna write him a note. I want him to meet me so that we can try to work this out. I love him too much not to try to work it out."
I close my eyes and nod. I don't want him to do this but hopefully when he sees Sean again he'll realize that the man terrifies him. I get up and dig around in my bag for a minute before finding a notebook. I hand it to him and he looks at me expectantly. I sigh and hand him a pen as well. I watch silently as he writes out a short note. Then he stops and looks up at me. "Can you keep this for a minute? I want to go get something for Sean but it's in my room." I nod knowing that I can't tell Jeff that I don't want him to do this. He practically bounces out of the room and I drop my head into my hands. I can't believe Jeff is even considering taking Sean back. This is not good. It's really not good.
Jeff comes back into the room and sits down at the table again. He looks at me and smiles. "I want to write him a poem. Something to show him how much I still love him."
I close my eyes again and nod my head. "Okay Jeff. But I am still going to say this. I want you to be very careful. I don't want to see you hurt again."
He nods at me and turns back to his paper. After several minutes, he looks up with a grin. "Okay. I'm done. Now to deliver the note and the package."
"What's in the package?"
"It doesn't matter. Sean will know what it means." I roll my eyes as Jeff jumps to his feet and grabs the package from my hands. He folds the note up and places a piece of tape along the top of it. He then leans over and kisses me on the cheek before running out the door. I sigh heavily and shake my head. I just hope that boy isn't setting himself up for a huge disappointment.
(3/?)
Disclaimers see pt. 1
Takes place after Sean & Jeff leave on their date in Chapter 36 of Confused
I don't know what the hell has gotten into Matt. He says I'm not paying attention to him. I am always with him how can I not be paying attention to him. I love my husband but he can be so foolish some times. Jeff and Sean are closer than ever and Chuck and Taker are farther apart. I'm still not sure what happened between Chuck and Taker but I don't really care. My concern is for Jeff. I'm worried that he's in over his head with this thing between him and Sean. But tonight I am going to concentrate on my husband. I walk slowly to our hotel room and open up the door. Matt is sitting on our bed watching some sitcom. I don't know how he can watch those things but the good thing is he doesn't notice me.
I slid onto the bed next to him and start to kiss his neck. I feel Matt shudder and he pulls away. "Hey Lance. You're late."
Jesus, I'm beginning to hate how he has to pick on every little thing I do. "I know baby. I was picking something up for you." I pull out the present I had gotten him earlier and hand it to him.
He looks up at me in surprise and that's when it hits me. I have been a complete bastard to my husband. I have been so upset about this thing with his little brother that I have all but ignored Matt. I love him so much and I think that if I hadn't wised up I may have lost him. So I'll let Jeff worry about his own life and I'll worry about mine. I drop to my knees in front of Matt and look up into his beautiful brown eyes. "I am so sorry baby. I have been such an ass and I didn't even realize it. Please say you forgive me."
Matt smiles at me and kisses me softly. "Lance, honey I could forgive you just about anything. But you have to promise me something?" I nod not caring what it is he wants me to promise. "Promise me that you'll let Jeff deal with his own life. I know you don't like Sean and that's okay but Jeff loves that man for some reason. Let it go."
"I will baby. For you, for my own sanity and for Jeff. I swear to you that from here on out, I'm concentrating on making up to you."
Matt grins. "I know exactly how you can start." He leans over and we kiss. I have always loved his kisses. He pulls me to my feet only to push me onto my back. As he straddles me, I can't help the grin that slides over my face. Matt grins back at me before moving to kiss my chest. I can't stop the gasp that escapes when he takes a nipple into his mouth and starts sucking.
I reach down and pull him away from me. "No baby. Let me pleasure you." He grins at me and I flip him onto his back. I kiss my way slowly down his body. When I take his cock into my mouth I realize exactly how long it's been since he and I have been intimate when he gasps. He's never gasped before when I suck him. Damn, I have been neglecting my husband. How horrible of a person am I? I make sure to make this as sweet and beautiful for him as it has ever been. He tastes so good when he comes but I nearly choke as I try to swallow all of his seed. I pull back and he smiles sheepishly at me.
"Sorry Lance. It's been a while." He shrugs and I feel lower than dirt.
I kiss him soundly and then pull back. "I love you Matt and I am so sorry I have been such an ass to you. How long has it been?"
He shrugs his shoulders again and smiles softly at me. "I guess about three months."
I close my eyes unable to believe that I haven't made love to him for three months. I haven't touched him in three months. I think back and realize that the first couple of months he's talking about he was so devastated over Jeff being kidnapped that all I did was hold him. But this last month it was entirely my fault. I was so wrapped up in trying to make Jeff feel better that I totally and completely forgot my husband. "I am so sorry baby. I never meant for this to happen."
"I know Lance. And I told you, I forgive you. I could forgive you almost anything. I love you so much and am just happy to have you back."
I smile at him and we kiss. It's soft and sweet and passionate as his tongue slips into my mouth and explores my mouth. We lay back on the bed making out for what seems like hours. His body molds against mine like we were made for each other. I honestly believe we were made for each other. I slip a finger into him and he moans against my mouth. I gently prepare him. It takes a little longer than it used to but I have no one to blame but myself for making me frustrated.
He grips my hand almost painfully. "Lance I swear to god if you aren't buried inside of me in the next five seconds I am never speaking to you again."
I laugh and cover my cock in lube. He smiles at me as I slip between his legs. He wraps his legs around my waist and pulls me into him. I groan at how tight his body is as it surrounds my cock. He groans and smiles at me. "I love you Lance."
"I love you to Matthew." We start moving together finding our old rhythm quickly. Neither of us lasts long. As I fill his ass, he screams my name as he comes in a seemingly endless stream of hot liquid. I collapse against his body. We lay there for several minutes before I finally lift my head to look at him. "I love you Matthew, more than I can ever say and more than I can ever show you."
He smiles tiredly at me. "I love you too baby." I roll off and out of him and off of the bed. I grab a washcloth out of the bathroom and clean myself off. I walk back in to clean him off and he's fallen asleep. I smile and clean him off throwing the washcloth aside and spooning against my husband. He sighs contentedly and I fall asleep secure in the knowledge that Matt loves me and know that I love him.
THE END