Everyday
I got lost, couldn�t find my way
And I guess there�s nothing more to say
I often wonder how I came to be here. How I reached this point in my life where nothing is as it should be, and where everything is just�
This was never how I pictured my life to be. Nowhere near it. All I wanted was to find the man of my dreams, to live the rest of my life with him, to be able to love him freely.
Love can make you blind, make you act so strange
But I�m here and here I will stay
But I can�t. Because the man who stole my heart is the same man whom my family hates with a passion.
However, like they say, love has no boundaries. And I do love him. More than I ever thought possible.
So everyday I cry
Yes everyday I fall
Do you ever wonder why
Why I love everything about you
He�ll often look at me with concern, trying to hide it behind a charming smile which he knows I can�t get enough of. But I still see it, the worry in his eyes that I�ll leave him.
But I can�t. I won�t.
But everyday I say I�ll try to make my heart be still
Til then every way there is to cry, ourselves to sleep we will
Unfortunately, I can�t seem to reassure him enough. In a way, I don�t blame him. I find myself worrying a lot of times that he is going to leave me. It�s not a good feeling.
We don�t get enough time together as we would like. I lie in bed awake many nights, and I always think of him. Of how I want his arms around me, of how I want to feel his body beside mine.
And some nights, I cry myself to sleep.
Loneliness is such a bitch.
It picked me up, knocked me off my feet
I�ve got no way to explain
Still I love you, love you but this fire inside
Will never see the light of day
It was never love at first sight with us. Far from it.
Actually, I�m not even too sure how it happened. Maybe slowly, gradually without either of us noticing? Or maybe all of a sudden? Whatever it was, I do know that neither of us had been prepared for what did happen.
But it did happen, and I�m happy that it happened. Because now I can�t even begin to imagine my life without him in it.
So everyday goes by
And everyday I fall
It makes me wonder why,
My life�s worth nothing without you
But I can�t be with him. Everyone has been led to believe that the only feeling we have for the other is one of hatred and disgust. Nothing could be further from the truth.
He makes my day. He makes me smile, and laugh. He makes me happy. Without him, I�m nothing. The brief glances, the swift kisses. They will always mean more to me than two years of a marriage that should never have happened.
The book closes and we try to forget
But I know that things won�t change
How we feel, how life goes on
And that seems so strange
Whenever we find ourselves with some unwanted company, we pretend that we don�t notice each other. I pretend that my heart doesn�t ache because I can�t hold him. It�s always about pretending, and I fear that a year from now � five years from now � everything will still be about pretending.
I pretend to hate the man I love. And I pretend to love the man I hate.
What a twisted life.
And so the light fades away
Try, try, try as I may
I can�t stop thinking about you
It seems my life�s worth nothing without you
Everyday I think about him. Heck, nearly every minute of every day I think about him.
But god, why can�t I be with him? I love him. He loves me. Why can�t it be as simple as that? Isn�t that what life is about? To love?
I sometimes feel like I�m slowly dying because I�m not with him.
But everyday I say I�ll try
To make my heart be still
Til then every way there is to cry,
Ourselves to sleep, we will
And I know that despite how careful we are, people are starting to notice something is going on. His friends mention his �odd manner�, and my family mention my �strange behaviour�.
I�m trying so hard to not be caught out that, ironically enough, people are starting to suspect something. They realise that I don�t love my husband. How could I? Everyone knows what kind of person he is.
Unfortunately, they all believe the same thing about me.
But he doesn�t. And that�s all that matters to me.
He. My love. My heart.
My Dwayne.
Everyday, everyday you know I try so hard
Everyday, everyday it gets a little harder
My Rock.