For shana, and Darkflame, and everyone who has supported through my writing career, so far that is. For Glasstiger, we're working on it, and I hope that I'm actually helping, not hindering you. For my sister, this one is for you, I hope that it lives up to your expectations, or at least doesn't disappoint to badly. For Grace, Angle's after Kane, I promise.
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Confined (1/1)
As I lay here in my hospital bed, with the monitors beeping around me ceaselessly my thoughts turn to the people who have confined me to this litle white bed. I do not relish being here, even though it gives me time to rememberwhat happened, and think what I could khave done better. That kind of thinking doesn't help me however, so I try and stay away from it. Instead I make my palns for revenge, at Wrestlemania.
The nurses are thrilled to look after someone as famous as the Rock, they check in on me prabably twice as much as any other patient. If I was in character Iwould say that they wanted to spend time with "the Great One."[AN: I'm Canadian, Wayne Gretzky will always be my Great One.] But I hurt too much to try going into character, and lets face it, there isn't too much that's great about being laid up in a hospital bed. No matter what I do my thoughts keep returning tothe people who put me here, the nWo...
Hogan, Hall, andNash, but mainly Hogan. A legend on our busines, and he knows it. he isn't afraid to exploit it either, he doesn't really give a damn abou the people. He's arrogant, he thinks he owns the locker room. I can't stand people like that. Maybe because they're so much like me. Bu that doesn't matter. What matters is tha I have black spray paint on my back and itches like hell, and I can't move to scratch because all of my muscles feel like I was hit by a truck ... oh wait ... I was.
Hogan gets under my skin in a way no other wrestler, hell no other person, not even Austin, ever has before. I don't like it, but it stays the same. The fact is that Hogan pulls something primitive out of me, he calls to the primitive side of me, he makes me want to hurt someone preferably him. and listening to him on smackdown! just made my blood boil. trying to sound sorry and failing miserably, making a mockery ofm y injuries. I think that I could hate Hogan, I don't think I could hate the other two, but him I could hate. And what scares me is that it would feel good, feel so good and pure to hate Hogan, a natural extension of myself. How can I feel like that? I think of myslef as a good person, how can i hate someone that much, how canI let my hate consume me? How can I evn think about doing something like that?
Thinking about Hogan makes me irrational, as you can probably already tell. so I try to think of the other members of the nWo, Hall and Nash.
Hall is ... strange. I don't understand him like I would like to. He reminds me of a chimpazee on some illegal drug, dope maybe. [AN: Blame my sister! When Hall was jumping up and downin the rinf of the February 18th Raw she said he looked like a chimp on dope, and around our house the name has kinda stuck.] he starts a fued with Austin, perhaps no the brightest thing he's ever done, not like I have much room to talk, but still, doesn't he know that Austin carrie sgrudges? Didn't anyone in the locker room bother to tell them? Maybe not, thay are Vince's poison, after all.
Hall strikes me as a vicious animal, willing to do anything to get ahead, to get the win. People like taht disgust me, what do they have left when they lose? And they all lose, eventually. I can't respect a guy like Hall, and more importantly I can't trust them. maybe Nash and Hogan should think on that for a while, it might change their opinions drastically.
So, th bottom line is like to hate Hogan, but I can't let myself, and i don't like Hall, I wouldn't call it hate however. But if I had to trust one of those guys with my back, it would be Hogan. I could never bring myslef to trust Hall. He reminds me, somewhat, of a snake,and The Bible has a lot of warnings about snakes, especially when you read between the lines.
That's not to say that I'm really religious, but after this episode I just may put a little more faith in God, I certainly will put a lot less faith in the goodness of men.
And then there's Nash. I understand him better than I'd like. He's lost, and he doesn't knowany better. The nWo has become a refuge for him, a safe place for him to hide form the world. And becausem they make him feel safe he'll do things like they did on Monday, to keep his place in the group. While Hopgan a nd Hall are leaders Nash is a follower, he hasn't known anything else, he doesn't want to know anything else either.
I think that the nWo is like a lifeline for him. Something he depends upon to keep afloat. People he depends upon to keep him safe. I envy him that naivete. The thoughts that these people are completely trustworthy, that they would never betray him. I envy him that kind of thinking, but I also pity him, because one day he's going to find out that the real world isn't as perfect as it is inside his little bubble, and it will tear at his soul. I know, I've bben there, and I didn't enjoy it. Trust me, in this ignorance is bliss, and the alternative is unthinkable. And make no mistake, it changes the way you look at everything.
Part of me wishes that Nash never has to expierence what I've gone through. But there's another part of me that wishes the exact opposite. I think that that sideg remembers exactly what those ... animals did to me on Raw. I trust that side a little more right now. But then maybe I wouldn't feel like this if I wasn't surronded by machines that beep and wires and tubes that tangle together when I try to move. sometimes, there's just no winning.
Lying here, in my little white bed, unable to move for the mass of tubes, unable to sleep because that goddamn beeping never stops I do a lot of thinking. Not all of the things that I thinka bout are good, in fact most of them are not. But after lying here for a few days I have a much better understanding of the nWo. I could tell you more about them than they know about themselves. Their motives are known to me, their attack plans have been revealed, I know the nWo, inside and out. And when I get out of this hospital, when I'm 100%, when I meet Hoganj at Wrestlemania, then they'll know just what they did wrong. Because, you see, I know the nWo, and with that knowledge I can destroy the nWo. And then Hogan, Hall, and Nash will be confined too. Onlt they won't be lying on little white hospital bedd, oh no. They'll be lying, alright, but confined in something much different.
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Sorry this is a little old. I hope that you've enjoyed it. As I mentioned before, for both shana and my sister, who wanted to see Rocky afetr the nWo attack, better late than never, right?
Ja!
lirpa