Can�t Find My Way
I�ve been doing some thinking, here on my own
It�s been on my mind
This debt I owe to you
I have to repay in kind
With all this sudden free time I have, I have been doing a lot of thinking, getting some perspective on my life and where I�ve come from, and where I�m headed.
My first thoughts are always of her. My wife.
She has changed me, and she doesn�t even know it. But that�s okay. She didn�t know the man I was before I married her, before I fell in love with her, for which I am grateful. Oh, she saw glimpses of him at the very beginning of our marriage, but not since then. And hopefully, never again.
She makes me want to be a better man, a better person. I have to admit that throughout my life people have come and gone, and in their own way have managed to make a mark on my life. But no one has made a bigger alteration in my life that the woman I married.
She has changed me completely, but I fear that I�ve done nothing to make the slightest scratch of difference in her life.
But I can�t find my way
I want to. But I don�t know how.
Tired and weary, I follow the path
That leads to your door
But it occurred to me, all that I have
Is already yours
I could give her my body, but she already owns it. My mind already spins with endless thoughts of her. My heart is in the palm of her hands. My soul in the endless depths of her eyes.
I am hers. Completely. Utterly. I will follow her to the ends of the earth, and back.
And I have to wonder if she knows it.
But I can�t find my way
And if she doesn�t, I�m not sure I can find the right words to tell her. To make sure that she knows how much she means to me.
Oh, just to sit a while
Oh, just to sit and watch you smile
But not now, not yet.
I tell myself that the reason is because she�s halfway across the country, but if I�m being honest with myself, I know that it�s because I�m scared. I�m scared because no one person has ever affected me this much before.
Just a mere smile from her is enough to weaken my knees.
But I can�t find my way
I want to tell her. I need to tell her. I just don�t know if I can tell her.
Keep the faith you say
To keep the faith I pray
Be strong you say
Just follow the light
Because I�m scared. I�m scared that if I tell her, I�ll lose her.
I know that she loves me. She tells me often enough. But� I know her. Despite her confidence, when something like this happens to her, she�s get scared. And she runs.
She loves me, but I know that she hasn�t truly opened up to me.
I can�t tell her. I won�t.
That had been his mistake. Her ex-fianc�. He had gotten too close too fast, and she had pulled away. She had used any and all excuses necessary to not get married.
So, she married me. Funny, huh?
Wheels keep turning but the close I get
The farther I seem
Peace will only come
Finding the peace within
So, I keep my distance as much as I can without hurting either of us too much. The closer I get to her, the further away she seems. The few weeks together we had, after my injury, it had been wonderful. Just the two of us.
Then, out of the blue, she tells me that she wants to go back on the road. Wants to be where �the action� is. In other words, wants to be away from me.
It hurt, and I think that deep down she knew that. But she still left.
But I can�t find my way
And so, I�m alone. Contemplating my life and where I�ve come from, and where I�m headed. I want it to be with her, to be by her side.
I just have to find my way.