Untitled 06
The Powers That Be were bored. Not for the first time, they decide to meddle in the miserable lives of the humans. Depending on the person, they may decide to award them a little happiness by providing the winning numbers in a lotto, or they may decide to grant wishes by generating �miracles�, like giving a barren womb life, or getting Jeffery Hardy to keep his hair the one colour for more than one week.
But today, they were feeling quite romantic. Love was in the air, but the poor unfortunate souls on earth were blind and unhappy. Many settled for whatever mate came along, not bothering to search for �the one�. Today, the PTB were wanting to play Cupid, and they were determined to help the unlucky individuals find their true soulmates�
�Okay, we�ll go through the plan in more detail later. Who was next?�
�Chyna.�
�What is it with these WWF women? They are completely surrounded by locker rooms full of males, yet they have got to be the most unluckiest bunch I have ever seen when it comes to love. I mean, when Tori-�
�Focus. We�re helping Chyna at the moment.�
�Yeah, I know. I just wanted to point it out. I mean, Tori, Ivory, Ja-�
�Two words. Fo. Cus.�
�Actually-�
�Chyna!�
�Chyna, right. Let�s see what she�s up to. Or rather, who she�s with��
�Chyna?�
�I�m in the kitchen, Billy.�
Chyna smiled in greeting as her boyfriend walked up to her, and gave her a kiss. �Hmm�what was that for?�
�For being you.�
She laughed, gently pushing him away as she continued with the dinner preparations. �How was your day?�
Billy picked up a piece of carrot and popped it into his mouth, leaning against the sink. �Not too bad. Well, except for Hunter putting me out of action.�
Chyna frowned. She couldn�t believe how much her old boyfriend had changed. �What happened? Are you okay?�
�Fine, just a slight concussion.�
She sighed. �I don�t know what I ever saw in that guy.�
Billy placed an hand on her arm. �He�s changed. People change, Chy.� A large smile came over his face. �I mean, look at us.�
�I know he�s not her soulmate and all, but aren�t they just so cute together though?�
�Oh, you think so, too?�
�Yes! Do you remember when he came back, during an episode of-�
Polite cough. �Do I have to say the two words again?�
�Actually-�
�Are we going to be like this all the time?�
�Aren�t we like this all the time already, anyway?�
�Well, I know, but I just thought-�
�Chyna�s soulmate!�
�Back on track, right. Let�s have a look��
�Come on, you can�t just give up like this,� Mick Foley said, trying to sound optimistic. �I mean-�
�Mick, I appreciate what you�re doing,� Rock interrupted, sighing heavily. �But I don�t know. Maybe I need a break?�
�Need a break? What are you talking about? You�re in the prime of your life!�
�Maybe, but it�s not just that. This whole McMahon-Austin-Triple H alliance is pretty ruthless. Individually, they�re already the toughest bastards in the business. But the three of them? Can you say �power�?�
Mick sighed. �I never thought I�d see the day Rocky would ever give up.�
�I�m not giving up!�
�Yeah, well it sure sounds like it!�
Rock shook his head. �I�m not giving up. Besides, this will give me some much deserved time with Carmen.�
�But I thought Mick already had a wife and kids?�
�Yeah, didn�t his wife give birth to their third child at the beginning of the year?�
�Very amusing. Of course it�s not Mick.�
�Yeah, I know. It�s just, well�out of those two, which would you believe is more likely to be Chyna�s soulmate?�
�I guess you�re right.�
�Wow. Chyna and Rock. Who�d have thought?�
�Once again. Chick. Overactive imagination. Computer.�
�Oh! Does anyone remember the so-called �sexual tension� between Mankind and Chyna?�
�I do! Poor Mankind�see, that�s why Mick is more believable as Chyna�s soulmate. They at least have a history together.�
�Some history. What did-�
�Do I have to keep repeating myself? Two words.�
�Actually-�
�Right. Chyna and Rock. Rock and Chyna.�
�They�ve never had any kind of interaction with the other, really. Or if they had, it was very minimal.�
�Oh, I think they�ve noticed each other quite a few times. Look at them. How can they ever miss each other?�
�True.�
�Well, how about checking out what happens in the future?�
�Good idea��
�Chyna?�
�Oh, hey! Debra! Come on in!�
Debra smiled. �Thanks. I was just in the neighbourhood, and I thought I might drop by for a little visit.�
Chyna grinned back, happy to be friends with at least one Diva. Debra was a nice, down-to-earth girl, very unlike a few of the other dumb-blonde Barbies. �I�m glad you did.�
�And, I also wanted to see how you�re doing.�
Her smile dimmed. �I�m�I�m doing okay, you know. It gets easier every day.�
Debra sighed. �Once an Outlaw, always an Outlaw, I suppose.�
But Chyna just shook her head. �I really didn�t think Billy was like that. What is it with me and always picking the wrong guys?�
�Well, she sure is right about picking the wrong guys. Let�s go through the list, shall we?�
�I don�t think we really need to do that.�
�First, Hunter-�
�I said-�
�-then Chris Jericho-�
�Are you even listening-�
�-followed by Eddie Guerrero-�
�What is it with you and-�
�-finally, Billy.�
�-lists?�
�Pardon?�
�Ok, enough of that already.�
�Good idea. I want to see what Rocky�s up to in the future.�
�Me, too.�
�And-�
�We�re all going to see what Rocky�s up to in the future, okay? Let�s see��
�Hey, congratulations, man!�
Jericho grinned back at him. �Thanks, Rock!�
�Hey, the better man won! And trust me, you�re definitely better than that asshole, Triple H.�
�Well, with a bit of help from a certain, soon-to-be-divorced, McMahon-Helmsley.�
Rock still couldn�t believe that Jericho and Stephanie were now �partners�. In more ways than one, he was guessing. �I�m not Steph�s biggest fan, but if she had the good sense to choose you over Triple H, then she can�t be all bad.�
Jericho laughed. �I�ll be sure to tell her that. Anyway, it�s good to have you back in the Federation. Good luck in your match with Austin tonight.�
Rock nodded, his adrenaline beginning to pump. His match was only minutes away. �Oh, I�ll be just fine. Austin is the one who needs all the luck.�
Soft sigh. �Poor Rock. Ever since Carmen turned her back on him, he�s been concentrating too much on wrestling. I�m not sure how healthy that is.�
�Hey, it�ll be fine. He�s got Chyna coming his way.�
�Did anyone else notice-�
�Yes, we all noticed.�
�Is anyone else-�
�Yes, we�re all very happy.�
�Can you believe-�
�Hey, it was us who made that happen in the first place, remember?�
�I know, but it�s just so-�
�Yes, we all think it�s exciting.�
A contented sigh. �It�s just�oh, I don�t know.�
�Perfect?�
�Yes, that�s-�
�This is going to be the last time. Two words.�
�Actually-�
�Enough! We have quite a few more of these to go through today, okay, and we need to-�
Everyone in unison. �Focus.�
�Right. So, how do we get these two together?�
�Brainstorm.�
Once again, far below, dark clouds gathered, thunder sounded, and lightning hit.
�Well, at least some farmer will be happy.�
�Shh�brainstorming.�
Loud whisper. �Okay, right. Sorry.�
A few moments of silence as the storm raged.
�I think I might have it. What�s always the best way to get Rock�s attention?�
�Screw him over?�
�Oh, don�t worry. There will plenty of that later, once they finally get together. I mean-�
�As in stab him in the back.�
Embarrassed little laugh. �Oh. I knew that.�
�And Rock is really going to appreciate this? Oh, Chyna just stabbed me in the back. She just has to be my soulmate!�
�Sarcasm again?�
�I know. I can�t-�
Polite cough. �Moving on, shall we?�
�Right. Sorry.�
�Sorry!�
�Back to the screwing over. That�s the thing, right? She�ll only pretend to stab him in the back, but really, she�s going to be plotting her revenge with him. Billy�s going to be feuding with Rock soon, and Chyna will align herself with him against the Rock. But, in the end, she actually helps Rock out.�
�And of course, this will be long and drawn out, right?�
�Right.�
�I get it! Months of working closely together, Rock and Chyna are bound to bond!�
�Exactly. And once they do�well, we all know where that�s going to lead.�
A happy sigh. �Happy endings. Don�t you just love them?�
�Need I remind you? There are going to be no �PTB� signs.�
An unhappy sigh. �Yes, I know.�
�This is just to bring a little happiness into their lives.�
�Well, who�s going to be getting the next dose of happiness then?�
�Let me check the list��