Untitled 03
The Powers That Be were bored. Not for the first time, they decide to meddle in the miserable lives of the humans. Depending on the person, they may decide to award them a little happiness by providing the winning numbers in a lotto, or they may decide to grant wishes by generating �miracles�, like giving a barren womb life, or Steve Blackman a personality, which is a working progress at the moment.
But today, they were feeling quite romantic. Love was in the air, but the poor unfortunate souls on earth were blind and unhappy. Many settled for whatever mate came along, not bothering to search for �the one� (NOT Billy Gunn). Today, the PTB were wanting to play Cupid, and they were determined to help the unlucky individuals find their true soulmates�
�Who�s first?�
�A young woman by the name of Stephanie McMahon.�
�Boy, is her love life fu-� Abrupt stop. Sheepish grin. �I mean, messed up!�
A smirk. �Nice save.�
�Let�s see what�s she�s up to at the moment��
�Hey, Steph, have you seen my shirt?� Hunter Helmsley, Stephanie�s husband, called out from their bedroom in the hotel room.
Stephanie�s eyes didn�t move from the TV screen. Gone with the Wind was on. �What shirt?� she called back.
�You know, the new one I bought a couple of weeks ago in New York. I can�t find it.�
Stephanie sighed. �What kind of shirt?�
�The new one. It was the deep blue one. I thought I packed it.�
Rhett was kissing Scarlett, hoping that she would forget all about that silly twit, Ashley. �Sorry, babe. Haven�t seen it.�
�Oh, well. Guess that means I go out in public shirtless,� Hunter teased, coming into the room bare-chested.
Stephanie finally looked up from the screen and grinned up at him. �I think I like you shirtless. But, I�m not sure I like everybody else liking you shirtless.� She picked up the remote and pressed the �Stop� button. �Let me help you look.�
�Everything seems fine and dandy there. What�s the problem?�
�Hunter isn�t her soulmate.�
�Well, the �mate� part doesn�t seem to be the problem.� Another peek at Stephanie and Hunter. �And would you look at that. Neither is the �mating�.�
A laugh. �Guess it�s just the �soul� bit that�s a problem then, eh?�
�Well, who is her soulmate then?�
�Take a look��
Chris Jericho got the sudden feeling of being watched. He frowned slightly, and looked around to see if anyone was staring at him, or hiding behind something, staring at him.
�Something wrong?� Chyna asked, also looking around slowly, confused.
Jericho shook his head. �I thought someone was watching me.�
Chyna smirked. �Who would want to watch you?�
�Haha. Very funny, Chy. Anyway, what were you saying?�
Chyna rolled her eyes. �So much for my active listening lecture.�
Now it was Jericho�s turn to look confused. �Why the hell would you be talking about active listening?�
Chyna laughed at him. �You really were spaced out, weren�t you? What were you daydreaming about? Or should I not even ask?�
�Chyna? Stephanie�s soulmate is Chyna?�
Laughter filled the room.
A grin. �I am the Foley of the Heavens.�
�Chris Jericho is Stephanie�s soulmate, huh? Who�d have thought?�
�A chick with an overactive imagination sitting at her computer?�
�Cute.�
�I know.�
�Quit with the witty banter. What do we do now? Stephanie seems happy with Hunter, and I think Jericho and Chyna have a little something going as well.�
�But they�re with the wrong people!�
�Well, let�s see how everything works out in the future, shall we?�
�Hey, Steph, have you seen my book?� Hunter called out from their bedroom.
�Which book?� Stephanie called back. As if she really needed to ask. She knew which book he was looking for. Which book he was always looking for. Chyna�s personally autographed biography.
�Chyna�s biography. The special one dedicated to me.�
�Oh, you like rubbing that in my face, don�t you?� Stephanie mumbled angrily. �No, I haven�t!� she said loudly.
�Are you sure? I thought I put it by my bedside table.� Hunter called back, beginning to sound agitated as he couldn�t find it.
�You did. I just shifted it to the back of the bookshelf at my parent�s house,� Stephanie murmured with a small smirk to herself. But she said called back, �Nope, haven�t seen it! Sorry!�
�I just felt like reading it again, you know, catch up on old times,� Hunter explained, walking into their living room. He glanced at the TV screen. Gone with the Wind. �Watching that again?�
Stephanie shrugged, her eyes not leaving the screen. �I like it.�
�They haven�t changed much, have they? They look pretty much the same. Some humans just age very elegantly, I suppose.�
�Um, this is only a year into the future.�
Silence. �Oh.�
�Guess their initial passion is all but gone.�
�Happiness now, messiness tomorrow.� A pause. �Divorce messiness, that is.�
�I don�t think it�s only the passion that has left them. Did you check out how they didn�t even make eye-contact anymore? I hate it when marriages go like that.�
�What are you talking about? You hate anything that doesn�t end happily ever after, marriage or no marriage.�
�Guilty as charged. Do you know what else I hate?�
�No, what?�
�I hate it when-�
�C�mon, people! Back to the problem at hand!�
�Sorry!�
�Sorry!�
�Well, how about Chyna and Jericho? What happened to them?�
Chris Jericho passed Chyna, and ignored her. He couldn�t believe that she had left him, betrayed him. And for who? That tequila-drinking, car-hopping, bad-accented, metal-rod-hiding-in-red-roses-carrying little bastard, Eddie Guerrero.
And then what did Guerrero end up doing? He turned into a two-ho-showering little bastard. Poor Chyna. He had felt bad for her, knowing how crushing it was to suddenly be betrayed.
But now she had Billy G.
�What the hell kinda name is Billy G, anyway?� he asked himself, half curious and half amused. He had to laugh.
�Poor Chyna indeed.�
�Tell me about it. Now, she�s hooked up with another guy who isn�t her soulmate.�
�I say she�s next, once the Stephanie McMahon problem is fixed. All who agree? Raise your hands to vote, please.�
Motion carried.
�So, what do we about Stephanie and Jericho?�
�A kiss is always a sure winner.�
�And how do you propose that two people who have never had any contact with each other, are totally out of each other�s lives, kiss?�
�Hmm�let�s see�well, we don�t want to make it seem to obvious, do we?�
�Yeah, let�s do something even somewhat childish and immature.�
�Such as�?�
�Well, let�s brainstorm.� Somewhere below, dark clouds gathered, thunder sounded, and lightning hit.
�Don�t you hate it when that happens?�
A shrug. �Eh. Side effect.�
A few moments of silence as the storm raged.
�Something childish and immature, right? I think I got it.�
�Do share.�
�Well, first of all Jericho needs to get Stephanie�s attention, right?�
�Noooo�they are just going to be soulmates who don�t realise that the other even exists!�
�Sarcasm doesn�t suit you.�
�I didn�t think so either. I always thought �charm� was more my specialty.�
�Definitely charm. Sarcasm is the-�
�Anyway, back to the plan.� A polite interruption of sorts. �What is it that kids usually do to get the attention of someone they like?�
�Name calling and hair pulling.�
�Exactly! Jericho comes out week in and week out, calling Stephanie the worst names possible to get her attention!�
�I see. And Stephanie will certainly appreciate this? She�ll think to herself, �Oh, wow! What a guy! He has got to be my soulmate, calling me all those names and all!� In case you didn�t notice, they aren�t kids.�
�Yeah, but we need for them to be aware of each other first�and then, the kiss! By the way, sarcasm doesn�t suit you either.�
�Really? I always thought I was quite good at it.�
�Well, I suppose, in a-�
*Cough cough*
�Oh, sorry.�
�Back to the kiss. How does that happen?�
�A pay-per-view, where else?�
�Of course. Let�s make it at one of the Big-Five, so that Australia will get to see it.�
�Good idea. But, still not sure how it�s going to happen.�
�It will, don�t worry. After weeks of constantly getting on each others nerves and all, well, it will happen. Sparks will fly. Soulmates galore.�
�The WWF fans will love it!�
�You do realise that we get nothing out of this other than a feeling of joy at having made two people happy, don�t you? The fans aren�t going to start making signs that say �PTB for Prez!�, or �PTB = Ratings�, or �I believe in the PTB�, or even just plain �Powers That Be�.�
�Well, one can�t help but try.�
�Okay, we�ll go through the plan in more detail later. Who was next?�
�Chyna.�