The lucky part of all this is that I know there will be ups the same way there will be downs. I knew that before I decided to come here, and it�s something that I expected to deal with. Some days I say something that makes someone see a situation in a new light. That same day, I will probably receive a package from home, and an invitation to na gosti (visit) a neighbor. Perhaps another day my phone will inexplicably stop working, I won�t understand a word people are saying to me, and little kids will ring my doorbell at 11 p.m. and run away giggling (by the way - this has started happening quite frequently!). In this sense, life isn�t so different than it is anywhere else. You just have to deal with the additional complexities of being outside of your comfort zone (familiar culture, people and language), and remember that the idealism and adventuristic spirit within you is why you came. If you can keep your perspective, you will be all right. And as far as your impact, if you are sharing who you are with people, you are having an impact on more people than you realize.
When it comes right down to it, I tend to be optimistic, sometimes almost to the point where it stops being realistic! I have had some trying days here, and at the end of each of them I sat down and had a good laugh at myself. The whole thing makes you feel so ridiculous sometimes - the cultural blunders, communicating like a three year old, having those wonderful �oh duh, NOW I get it� moments, finding yourself the butt of a good-natured joke. What else can you do but laugh? Crying sucks. It isn�t the rush of the roller coaster that keeps me going. In fact, everyone�s been riding one since they were born - it�s called life. We travel up and down, around corners, to the top of hills and screeching back down. Sometimes we even turn upside-down briefly! No, what keeps me going is living the whole time, knowing that times will always change, keeping my eyes open as wide as I can against the terrific wind. You can�t get off, and it won�t stop for you.
I have always loved roller coasters, the slow jerky climb to the top, the terrible pause and the inevitable plummet. It scares you, but who frowns? I laugh and scream, I am moving, I am living!