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| Phoebe Songs |
| Smelly Cat Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet You're obviously not their favorite pet You may not be a bed of roses And you're no friend to those with noses Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault Love Love is sweet as summer showers Love is a wondrous work of art But your love, oh, your love Is like a giant pigeon crapping on my heart A Few of My Favorite Things Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens Bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens la la la la la la something with string.... Blackout New York City has no power The milk is getting sour But to me that is not scary Cause I stay away from dairy My Mother's Ashes My mother's ashes, even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar And sometimes when it's breezy Or when I'm feeling sneezy And now I... They Found Their Bodies And they found their bodies the very next day They found their bodies the very next day Children They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch Soon they'll grow up to resent you so much Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why You cry and you cry and you cry Shower Song I'm in the shower and I'm singing a song Stop me if you've heard it My skin is all soapy and my hair is all wet And tegrin spelled backward is nirget Lather, rinse, repeat Lather, rinse, repeat Lather, rinse, repeat [pause] As needed! Stephanie Stephanie knows all the chords! Terry's a Jerk Terry's a jerk! He won't let me work! And I hate Central Perk! (...) And you're all invited to bite me!!!!!! When I Sing When I sing, I sing for me I don't need your charity Double Jointed Boy He was a double, double, double jointed boy Bisexuals Sometimes men love women Sometimes men love men And then there are bisexuals But some just think they're kidding themselves Animal Song The cow in the meadow goes moo The cow in the meadow goes moo Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him all up And that's how we get hamburgers Nooowwwww chickens! Grandma Now your Grandma's a person you really like She bought you a train and a big shiny bike But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner And the last time you saw her she seemed a lot thinner Your parents they said she moved to Peru But the truth is she died and someday you will too That's Another Thing You Don't Wanna Do There'll be times when you're older When you'll want to sleep with people Just to make them like you... But don't! Cause that's another thing you don't wanno do That's another thing you don't wanna do Love Song You don't have to be awake to be my man Long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand Though we just met the other day There's something I have got to say... Two of Them Kissed Last Night There was a girl let's call her Betty And a guy let's call him Neil I can't stress this point too strongly But this story isn't real (...) Now our Neil must decide Who is the girl he casts aside Is Betty the girl he loves truly Or is it the girl we'll call L-L-Lulie? He must decide, he must decide Even though I made him up he must decide Suicide and A Snowman I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin' How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? Christmas Song Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap Said all you need is to write them a song Now you haven't heard it yet so don't sing along No, don't sing along Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanuckkah Saw Santa Claus, said hello to Ross Please tell Joey that Christmas will be snoooowwwwwyyyyy!!! And Rachel and Chandler [mumbles something] glandler! Dumb Drunken Bitch ... dumb drunken bitch!!!!! Sticky Shoes Sticky shoes, sticky shoes Always make me smile Sticky shoes, sticky shoes Next time I'll...avoid the...piiiilllle! Crazy Underwear Crazy underwear, creeping up my butt Crazy underwear, always in a rut Crazy underwear... Jingle Bitch Jingle bitch screwed my over Go to hell, jingle whore Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell 66 Colors of My Bedroom ...fuschia and mauve Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom Crusty Old Man And a crusty old man said, "I'll do what I can" And the rest of the rats played maracas Fetus Song Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months will you greet us? I will buy you some Adidas. My Sticky Shoe My sticky shoe My sticky, sticky shoe Why you stick on me, ba-a-by? Parading Goats Parading goats are parading Parading down the street Parading goats are parading Leaving little treats Papier Mache [three snaps] I'm still waiting for my papier mache man Tiny Tarzan Little tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair Swinging with the greatest of ease Little Black Curly Hair I found you in my bed! How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery Little black curly hair Little black curly hair Little black curly hair Little black, little black, Little black, little black, Little black curly hair Chandler The first time I met Chandler I thought he was gay But here I am singing On his wedding day! Who's Gonna Perform the Ceremony Who's gonna perform the ceremony? Who's gonna perform the ceremony? Whenever I Get Married Whenever I get married Guess who I won't ask to sing Somebody named Geller And somebody else named Bing!!! Song She Sang At Night to Bother C+M You thought Phoebe would leave But she stayed and stayed That's right, here all night And Chandler probably won't get ---- |