Our family is what you call a� blended� family. My husband and I each have children from our first marriages, and we also have a son, Austin (18 mos) from our present marriage. Our other children are Diana (17), Randy (15) and Steven (13).
In September 2000, we found out I was pregnant again. We were so happy � a baby brother or sister for Austin! The pregnancy went well at first, with the typical symptoms of morning sickness and sleepiness. However, at 27 weeks I started having contractions. We went to the hospital and I was told it was premature labor. My blood pressure was also high, and they thought it was toxemia again. (I had toxemia with Austin, and was in the hospital on bedrest. However, my water broke and he was born prematurely at 33 weeks. Luckily, he had no serious problems except jaundice, and only spent 11 days in NICU). Anyway, I was sent home on bedrest. I had to monitor my blood pressure 4 times a day at home, and went to the OB every week for a check-up. Everything seemed to be going well, and my check-ups were all normal. I had an ultrasound in February and all was well. At my 35 week check-up I had another ultrasound � it was one of those fancy color 3D ultrasounds where you can actually �see� your baby�s face. It was great!! I was told everything was fine, but the baby was "smaller than expected". He also slept through the whole procedure. I later learned that there was a 3-week difference in the baby's size compared with the previous ultrasound. This was likely due to IUGR, and was a sign that something was wrong. I told the Dr. the baby was not moving around as much as before, but he said that was normal and not to worry.
Five days later, I woke up feeling �strange�. I hadn�t felt the baby move in a couple of hours, and no matter what I did he just wouldn�t kick me. I was getting really worried, and when I took my BP it was high. I called the Dr�s office, but since it was Sunday he wasn�t in. I told my husband to take me to the hospital. At the hospital, they tried to find a heartbeat, but had no luck. They did an ultrasound, and sure enough, there was no heartbeat. It was devastating! There is nothing worse than seeing that still, dark screen. My worst fears had been confirmed. Our baby had died sometime in the night, as I was sleeping. My BP was very high (164/127) by that point, and the Dr. was worried about the possibility of seizures. So, I had a C-section, which was the quickest way to get my BP back to normal. Thankfully, I did not have to go through hours of painful labor knowing my baby was already gone.
Later that evening, Matthew Tyler was stillborn into this world. He was so perfect, and looked just like his big brother Austin. We opted not to have an autopsy done, since we couldn�t stand the thought of him being cut up. It was later discovered that his cord was a foot longer than average, and severely coiled, though we were told this did not contribute to his death. I also had several placental infarctions, and acute chorioamnionitis, which we were also told was the result of his death, not the cause of it. Most likely he died as a result of toxemia. We still have no definite answers as to why he died, and we probably never will. That is just so hard to accept!
This has been the hardest thing we have ever had to endure, and for our children as well. Though Austin will never remember any of this, when he is older, we will tell him about his angel baby brother, and how he watches him from Heaven. We keep a picture of Matthew by our bed, and speak of him often. Someday, we will show him this website. For now, this is how we remember our baby boy, and creating this website is helping us to heal. |
