Disclaimer: We all know who owns them, no need to depress everybody with that reminder! :) Beta done beautifully and quickly by Diana. Any mistakes you find are mine and mine alone.
Rating: R for language
Pairing: Mulder/Krycek (eventually)
Warnings: m/m

To Get Me To You

Well I, I still can remember times
When the night seemed to surround me
I was sure the sun would never shine on me

Fox, Fox, Fox...you�re all I can think about. You wound your way into my life when I wasn�t looking. You made your way past all my defenses and just set up camp in my heart and my head. I can�t imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn�t been assigned to keep watch over you. Now I can�t keep my eyes off you.

And I, I thought it my destiny
To walk this world alone
But now you�re here with me
Now you�re here with me

You have no idea that I�m there with you at every turn. Every time you pack and run, I�m right behind you, keeping you safe from everything that could hurt you. Even me. Especially me. I force myself to sit still, hold myself, when all I want to do is hold you. I watch you run head first into dangerous situations, and I pray every night that my presence is enough to discourage those bastards from fucking with you.

And I don�t regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way

I�ve told them in every possible way that you are not to be hurt, not to be touched, or they will know a pain unlike any they have ever imagined. They know I�m a man of my word. I�ll slaughter anyone who touches you or even thinks of causing you pain.

Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something I had to get though
To get me to you, to get me to you

I killed the man that killed your father. I tried to warn him, but the assassin got to him before I could protect him, protect you. I�m not sure if you�d be happy to know that I avenged your father�s death. I know, maybe the punishment was yours to dole out, but I couldn�t let you become what I am. After all, we both know I am a murdering rat bastard, and good at what I do.

Well I, I still can recall the days
When I had no love around me
Makes me glad for every day I have with you

I know that you and Scully think I killed her sister, but I didn�t. I couldn�t. I do admit that I was there, that I watched. There was nothing I could do to stop it, not without revealing my own secrets.

And I, I look in your eyes and know
I�m right where I belong
And I belong with you
Always belonged with you

I want out. I want to be free from their control and their orders. I want more from life than I ever wanted before. I don�t just want to be alive, I want to live, too. I want to live with you, for you. I want to start over, be someone, anyone else, someone you could love.

And I don�t regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way

I know that�s insane. What we had was based on lies, but what we felt for each other was real. At least it was for me, and I�m pretty sure it was for you too. You made me feel wanted, needed and safe, all without asking anything of me other than to care for you in return. We never spoke of love, there wasn�t enough time to fall in love, especially not with a gun in my back. But I want to. I want to love you. I want to be loved by you.

Every road I had to take
Every time my heart would break
It was just something I had to get though
To get me to you, to get me to you

You and I are a volatile combination. It seems like every time we come face to face all we do is fight. God, Fox, there are times when I want you to beat the living shit out of me, just so I can feel something besides this ache in my heart. I don�t have any clue how to get you back into my arms. You refuse to listen to me when I try to explain; you don�t trust a word I say.

And if I could I wouldn�t change a thing
Wouldn�t change a thing baby

Fine. Maybe you�ll believe what you see with your own eyes, hear with your own ears. I risked my neck for these documents and tapes; documents that show who was behind the murders of your father and Scully�s sister, tapes of conversations that prove me innocent of pulling the trigger, but show my guilt of other crimes. I�m letting you hold my future, our future, in your hands, hoping that you�ll come to me, let me come to you and work everything out. It�s all I want, all I ask. A chance.

Because your love was waiting there for me
Waiting there for me baby

Please, Fox.

To get me to you, to get me to you

The end. For now.


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