| > At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. > Two words: Chicken suit. > Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. > Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone. > Laugh a lot. A whole lot. > Stop at the green lights. > Go at the red ones. > Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. > Feel free to make it dance. > Eat food that requires silverware. > Pass cars, then drive very slowly. > Sing without having the radio on. > Honk frequently without motivation. > Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture. > Ask people for Grey Poupon. > Let pedestrians know who's boss. > Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look. > Restart your car at every stop light. > Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly. > Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window. > While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars. > Paint your car with occult symbols. > Keep at least five cats in the car. > Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex. > Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks. > Stop and collect roadkill. > Stop and pray to roadkill. > Throw Spam. > Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. > Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them. > Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. |
| FUN THINGS TO DO WHILE DRIVING YOUR CAR |
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